₦airaland Forum

Ninisun:
Well trained and mannered children is a great achievement!!! Unless your parents regret having you...then you are not an achievement. If kids weren't an achievement, so many couples wouldn't have opted for IVF. FFK wouldn't have seized those kids.

Well mannered and trained children, cause pple will give praises to you for the type of children you have and it will fill your pride. Nigga it's always about you and your pride and you pleasing society

iamkelvincent:
Well mannered and trained children, cause pple will give praises to you for the type of children you have and it will fill your pride. Nigga it's always about you and your pride and you pleasing society

ROFLMAO

Klass99:
You're not alone in the decision to be child free and like you, I make my own choices too, irrespective of cultural norms and practices, societal expectations or what other people think.

Your entire post and narrative lights up my heart, I like the mindset I see and I like a kindred spirit. The bolded parts of your text are things I can relate to and I totally feel you on.

Hi, sequel to your post, if you are still up for it. Do you mind we having a chat?

Klass99:
I still feel the same way, but sorry I prefer meeting people naturally and organically, in the course of my normal activities. Not online and definitely not from Nairaland.

If you don't mind my asking, why don't you want children? Is it a matter of choice or defective reproductive organs?

Do you really expect an honest answer from a man?

Klass99:
I still feel the same way, but sorry I prefer meeting people naturally and organically, in the course of my normal activities. Not online and definitely not from Nairaland.

If you don't mind my asking, why don't you want children? Is it a matter of choice or defective reproductive organs?

The chances of meeting people like us in the normal world is quiet slim. Hence, I decided to search Nairaland and found your post. It’s a matter of choice ��

Framed:
Do you really expect an honest answer from a man?

We all have choices, you want kids, awesome, I don’t want it’s fine as well.

Klass99:
I perfectly understand.

���

So let say you meet someone in real life and the person happen to be a emmener of NL…


There are not rules to this things. I understand you as well.

Supreme145:
There is this motion that giving birth to children is an achievement in this country. I see young guys in mid and late twenties rushing into marriage while they are barely standing on their feet. From someone that comes from a family of 10 I'm sure if my dad is given a second chance he won't give birth as much children again. Let me share some of my experiences as regards giving birth without proper planning or sustainable income.

I've a neighbor in my compound, he's 32 and in his final year in the university, I can hardly have decent conversation with him without hearing about how he wants to get married. I would always remind him that he's living in a one room apartment, still a student without a strong source of income, but he would counter me saying that he can always start small and grow with his wife. Moreover when he gives birth he would have an investment.

I've have another friend that was a classmate in secondary school, he graduated the year I got admission though he had some issues with his results. One day he called me that he's married and I was surprised, though he is an artisan into all those parapets and pop stuffs I know he wasn't financially buoyant enough to carry a family. The last time I visited him he was looking malnourished and unable to sort out his issues in school almost four years after because according to him any money that he gets already has a pending issue waiting for it. He's looking far older than his elder brother who's still single, he looks 38 when he's just 30. He consoled himself by telling me that even if he doesn't have money he already has two kids which he sees an investment and a great achievement. Meanwhile they are cramped into a single room apartment and none of the kids are enrolled in school.

Last week while we were training in the evening, an argument broke out between two young guys. I was just by the side observing what was happening, I kept hearing stuffs like....why you dey argue with that guy? you no know say na person father he be? that guy don born two children o abi you think say e easy to born, na big achievement be that o. Now this is a guy that is about 25 years and has no sustainable means of income, he works in peoples farms and other menial jobs to make ends meet.

My next door married neighbor has become a torn in my flesh, he's always borrowing from me without paying so it's obvious he's struggling financially, factor in the constant arguments with his wife due to shortage of funds all the time. I once asked him why rushed to get married without a good source of income and he bluntly told me that he had always been broke while he was single and still broke now that he's married the only difference is that he can boast of his kids as an achievement unlike when he was single that he had nothing to boast of.

I have no issues what so ever with how anyone choose to life their life but considering the economic condition of this country now bringing in kids without proper plans is not the way to go. If my dad had given birth to maybe 3 kids I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out the way he is now and the resources used in training 8 kids would be better managed on just 3kids.

Personally I feel that one of the surest way to perpetual poverty as a young guy is to get married while struggling financially. Like one of the examples above, he cast aside his personal development and aspirations just to cater for his family. Supposing he's still single I'm sure he would have cleared he's outstanding school fees and maybe get his certificate.

Well since I'm still single and still struggling I don't judge anybody, every mallam to his kettle. As for me no marriage till I'm financially stable enough to afford at least 3 bedroom flat, a small car and substantial savings. It would be an abomination for me to bring a child into this world to pass through the kind of life I had growing up.

Successful adult children are an achievement. I remeber a thread on reddit where they were discussing how proud the parents of the klicsko brothers would be. World class athletes, phds successful politicians.

If you raise a pikin that goes out and conquers the world then you have achieved.

Of Course you have also achieved of you raise a responsible human being

Bringing children into the world is merely beginning the journey. You can't say how it will turn out, as you can do all the right things and still raise a horror

.