₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I see you are still on about making this about your ego and you instead of the child.

Like I said, I have no empathy for parents as I believe their duty is to put their kids before themselves no matter what.

It's clear you made it about your own ego first. It's not compulsory to respond on every thread. Sometimes, you just shut your mouth when you don't know enough, okay?

CountVersailles:
It's clear you made it about your own ego first. It's not compulsory to respond on every thread. Sometimes, you just shut your mouth when you don't know enough, okay?

Good idea! Try it yourself

klassyguy:
Thank you very much. The funny thing is i do not even allow them to watch anything until the weekend. They know they have their school work to do each time they get home.

One issue I figured is my son gets bored easily. He gets tired of things once he has done them more than twice or thrice. When I call and tell him we would work on his homeworks when I get home, more often than not he would have done them before I get home. He is the kind of kid who can't sit still in one place for long and gets distracted, which was how I was when I was his age. That's why I decided to enroll him into the U8 soccer team he is. He has been there for a few weeks now and i hope that helps him.

Baba, dem don tell you nah.. take your child to a Child Psychiatrist, you are in a country where you can have the best care for your child yet you are fumbling around blindly like you are raising your kids in Kanfachan...

Somebody has insulted you about it, yet you are still stupidly stuck to your egos.. there is nothing anybody on NL can tell you that will help because we are not experts, take your child to an expert that is trained in these sort of stuff... your child shows symptoms of being on the ADHD scale.. only an expert can tell you for sure..

klassyguy:
I see nothing wrong in buying a game console for my kids. Besides he only plays train simulators, overcooked, and lego jurassic world. And they know they only get to play it on weekends for a few hours, which they adhere to. So the PS5 is not the issue.

Maybe you could help in this case scenario!

Since he likes the PS5, tell him to be a good boy in class and do his homework in top notch conditions, you would increase his game playing time weekends!

Sometimes, complex problems needs simple solutions!

This your wife, is she illiterate? Because I don't see how ADHD test is a death sentence. You need to talk to her so that a professional can handle your child. Coming back to Nigeria is not the best for him. You need professional help

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

You painted a picture of ADHD... you son would need professional help from Doctors, Psychologists and behavioral therapist.

klassyguy:
I came here for advice on how to tackle a problem, not for a lecture on whether I am doing a good job of raising my kids. I've raised my kids the best way I feel. Not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you need inputs of other parents. Most of the time when I flog him, he behaves. His teacher has told me on several occasions he behaves after I "talk" to him, but it is not all the time one should spank a kid when he misbehaves. Training kids is not only achieved at home. They also have to learn and be corrected in school where their parents are not present, and that's where teachers come in.

As for the test, if you read my initial post, I clearly mentioned I AM OPEN TO TAKING HIM FOR AN ADHD TEST. It's my wife that's against it. I can't do that without her input and support. How would you feel if your spouse goes behind your back to do something with both your kids without your support and knowledge?

ADHD is a clinical diagnosis and using the DSM 5 criteria, you son meet the diagnosis. He needs help.
Can your son communicate? As ADHD most times comes with many co-morbidities

Zonefree:
You bought PS5 for a six year old and you're wondering why he's misbehaving

Some guys prayer point?

Poverty!
Poverty!!
Poverty!!!

How many times did I call you?

klassyguy:
Hence the reason why you choose to use the condescending tone you're using to refer to another person's kid. I get it, we are on a faceless platform where you can air your utterances freely. My kid is not going through any kind of hell. You wouldn't like it if someone speaks of your three boys like that. My boy is a very lively and lovely kid. Everyone he meets sees him as a very bright kid. He just has some behavioral issues which I believe is normal for a boy his age. I posted this topic to seek opinions on how to tackle them, not to hear insults, so kindly refrain from acting like you're a better parent than others cos you have it easy with yours. We are mature enough to share ideas on how to handle our children's development to make them better people without delving to the level of insults. Not all children are the same.

I understand that you feel bad about his reply. I feel your pain and you honestly want the solution to your kid's problem. I also understand where @kobojunkie is coming from. Yes, his reply sounds harsh but there’s so much truth in what he’s saying. You’re fortunate to be in a society that takes mental health serious. Please, make use of this opportunity. Use the resources around you.


@kobojunkie is telling you to prioritize your son’s mental health. You need to sit your wife down and make her understand why the test is important. Bringing your son to Nigeria is not a wise decision in my opinion. There’s nothing wrong in seeking professional help for your child, please. Many of us had such issues growing up with no one to help us figure out what our issues were. Please, help this child grow up to be the star he is.

Yes, you have to get your wife’s consent. Do your best to convince her to allow your son go for the test. This is a right step in the right direction. Bringing the child back to Nigeria is not a good option at all. It’s a no no.


I don’t see your child as one trying to be mischievous. He just needs help. Don’t forget to seek the face of God. Try to join the nssp prayer 7am Nigerian time Monday to Friday https://youtube.com/c/PastorJerryEze

You can tame him with that ps5 once he did behalf well ground him from having access to game. Get a schedule tasks he most complete before playing game

Lastpharoah33:
Some guys prayer point?

Poverty!
Poverty!!
Poverty!!!

How many times did I call you?

Forgive him cos he sees it luxury in naija term

klassyguy:
I came here for advice on how to tackle a problem, not for a lecture on whether I am doing a good job of raising my kids. I've raised my kids the best way I feel. Not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you need inputs of other parents. Most of the time when I flog him, he behaves. His teacher has told me on several occasions he behaves after I "talk" to him, but it is not all the time one should spank a kid when he misbehaves. Training kids is not only achieved at home. They also have to learn and be corrected in school where their parents are not present, and that's where teachers come in.

As for the test, if you read my initial post, I clearly mentioned I AM OPEN TO TAKING HIM FOR AN ADHD TEST. It's my wife that's against it. I can't do that without her input and support. How would you feel if your spouse goes behind your back to do something with both your kids without your support and knowledge?

It is strange seeing a mother quite against the idea of diagnosing her son in my own case it was my husband,he kept on saying it was not what it is whereas it was.in my son case,he had all you mention coupled with speech problem the PD neurologist guarded us on how to go about it, he was even placed on drugs to calm him,for the speech,he was given alot of programs on YouTube and other learning apps like lingo and co.pls he needs to be evaluated quickly.like your son,mine is the smartest too but the behavioral problem can be dampening.

ambient:
It is strange seeing a mother quite against the idea of diagnosing her son in my own case it was my husband,he kept on saying it was not what it is whereas it was.in my son case,he had all you mention coupled with speech problem the PD neurologist guarded us on how to go about it, he was even placed on drugs to calm him,for the speech,he was given alot of programs on YouTube and other learning apps like lingo and co.pls he needs to be evaluated quickly.like your son,mine is the smartest too but the behavioral problem can be dampening.

I am impressed whenever I read or see Nigerian parents taking up early professional intervention for their children who are neuro-diversified as it helps both kids and parents have a clearer understanding of what they are dealing with.

I hope the YouTube contents provides your son with lots of sensory activities.

moviemaker:
I understand that you feel bad about his reply. I feel your pain and you honestly want the solution to your kid's problem. I also understand where @kobojunkie is coming from. Yes, his reply sounds harsh but there’s so much truth in what he’s saying. You’re fortunate to be in a society that takes mental health serious. Please, make use of this opportunity. Use the resources around you.


@kobojunkie is telling you to prioritize your son’s mental health. You need to sit your wife down and make her understand why the test is important. Bringing your son to Nigeria is not a wise decision in my opinion. There’s nothing wrong in seeking professional help for your child, please. Many of us had such issues growing up with no one to help us figure out what our issues were. Please, help this child grow up to be the star he is.

Yes, you have to get your wife’s consent. Do your best to convince her to allow your son go for the test. This is a right step in the right direction. Bringing the child back to Nigeria is not a good option at all. It’s a no no.


I don’t see your child as one trying to be mischievous. He just needs help. Don’t forget to seek the face of God. Try to join the nssp prayer 7am Nigerian time Monday to Friday https://youtube.com/c/PastorJerryEze

I have no problem receiving constructive criticism now and then, but when you dive into cheap condescending insults is where I draw the line. If it was about my ego, I wouldn't bring the topic up in the first place. People calling others stupid because you seek for advice reeks of pettiness to me. And I don't blame them. It's the world of social media we are in. I don't take it lightly when you tell me I'm putting my kids through hell just because I haven't tried an option yet. All I came here for was opinions from other parents on issues like this, not for people to slander me on their high horses like they know better.

Mindlog:
I am impressed whenever I read or see Nigerian parents taking up early professional intervention for their children who are neuro-diversified as it helps both kids and parents have a clearer understanding of what they are dealing with.

I hope the YouTube contents provides your son with lots of sensory activities.

Oh yes it did,my non verbal kid started talking at 4 with the help of a lot of YouTube channels,he was just mesmerized.i was surprised when he made a long sentence after watching an episode of Ryan's world,I was actually paying 10k a week for a speech therapist before I was steered to online program.

God bless proffesor at adanta children hospital

CountVersailles:
It's clear you made it about your own ego first. It's not compulsory to respond on every thread. Sometimes, you just shut your mouth when you don't know enough, okay?

The person you are quoting is suffering from bipolar. Don't waste your time, op is yet to know.

She is on med. Everything to her is..... You understand?

klassyguy:
I have no problem receiving constructive criticism now and then, but when you dive into cheap condescending insults is where I draw the line. If it was about my ego, I wouldn't bring the topic up in the first place. People calling others stupid because you seek for advice reeks of pettiness to me. And I don't blame them. It's the world of social media we are in. I don't take it lightly when you tell me I'm putting my kids through hell just because I haven't tried an option yet. All I came here for was opinions from other parents on issues like this, not for people to slander me on their high horses like they know better.

Only if you know the onye ara ngwo you were trying to reason with. Avoid that moniker for your sanity.

klassyguy:
I see nothing wrong in buying a game console for my kids. Besides he only plays train simulators, overcooked, and lego jurassic world. And they know they only get to play it on weekends for a few hours, which they adhere to. So the PS5 is not the issue.

It's an issue
Here his attention doesn't drift
Time to use the carrot n stick solution
If he doesn't pay attention, seize the console for a few days, play it that way

It's called attention deficit disorder,if you're close to to Minnesota I can recommend you to a doctor in Rockford that can help probono

He probably has ADHD
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
He needs medical assessment
I sent love and light your way

Bring am come 9ja for a year... I promise everything will change

OK

Zonefree:
You bought PS5 for a six year old and you're wondering why he's misbehaving

You have a serious poverty oriented mindset

Get your son to see an ADHD therapist now that he is still young.

You should consider the ADHD test cause all you mentioned in your post are symptoms of ADHD.

Get him help now, he needs a therapist.

ADHD


He sounds like me.
Take away the PS and TV.

Make him read only books, tell him if he can finish the books in time you give and answer questions he would get PS and TV after 6 months.

Books train focus and imagination, that's what helped growing up.

My brother which state are you from and your wife is she from? Don't take my words away pls

Autism?
Why is your wife against the ADHD test?
These things are better handled now that he is young.

Hmmm

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Take him to a child psychologist