Take him out of his comfort zone.

dobnina:

Poverty mentality is your problem

Exactly.

klassyguy:


Hence the reason why you choose to use the condescending tone you're using to refer to another person's kid. I get it, we are on a faceless platform where you can air your utterances freely. My kid is not going through any kind of hell. You wouldn't like it if someone speaks of your three boys like that. My boy is a very lively and lovely kid. Everyone he meets sees him as a very bright kid. [/b]He just has some behavioral issues which I believe is normal for a boy his age[b]. I posted this topic to seek opinions on how to tackle them, not to hear insults, so kindly refrain from acting like you're a better parent than others cos you have it easy with yours. We are mature enough to share ideas on how to handle our children's development to make them better people without delving to the level of insults. Not all children are the same.

@The bolded... Your boy's behavioral issue is normal then why are you here seeking for help if it's normal for his age


You're just confused... You sure say u sef no get ADHD like this lol

Sent87:
You better listen to what that Kobojunkie guy is saying.

He is just trying to over complicate the scenario.

Children are children for a reason.
They are not always rational.
Infact, most times they can't be rational or respond to reason.

They can't always reason things out just because you played with them or try to convince them.

Many times they need to be forced to do the right thing at the threat of pain.

And as they grow older, they get to understand why daddy and mummy spanked me when I did this.

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Send him down to Nigeria,
Em head go de normal one time.

CSTRR:

Some children need spanking.
That is their corrective measure.

Kids potentially struggling with mental illness need spanking instead?

shogsman:
It's called attention deficit disorder,if you're close to to Minnesota I can recommend you to a doctor in Rockford that can help probono

You live in the state of 10,000 lakes?

Zonefree:
You bought PS5 for a six year old and you're wondering why he's misbehaving

That's I don't understand parenting of these days oooo. It's like they want their kids to be better than them, while they do way less than their parents. OGA Ps for 6 year old. Make una tell am say na him need the training and drilling. Shuooooooooo

Kobojunkie:
Them don use flogging destroy all the common sense commot the brain of average Nigerians that na why dem no even fit ask or consider such simple and obvious questions.

Nigerians will never even attempt to question the status quo, or ask within themselves why things are the way they are, na to insult the government from morning to night, forgetting that the government were once people like us, that received training not much different from how many of us are trained

gazilion:
We can give counsel without being judgemental. Thank God it's working out well with our children. some parents are having it rough and need help and input from other parents on what to do. I wouldn't judge, trash or speak down on them.

Judgmental? You realize the only reason you think that posts is judgemental is you sift it through your ego and its need to be pleasure in some way? If I ask you to pick out the exact words in that post you feel judged by, I bet you wouldn't be able to.

And I never said anything about my case going much better than the OP's so why assume that?

Bring him to your aunty in the village here in Nigeria for a year. That's super deliverance

Kobojunkie:
You want so bad to turn this into an "Us vs them" debate abi?

Tell us, how does "Nigerian upbringing" go about handling a child struggling with issues of the mental? Enlighten us about how it is done in the Nigerian way.

If u read my post u would see I said both have pros and cons. Since the US side isn't working try the Nigerian side. That's my point here.

Kobojunkie:
Kids potentially struggling with mental illness need spanking instead?

I tire oo they will now grow up to be mentality ill adults that we see everyday in our country

Playermayweda:
Nigerians will never even attempt to question the status quo, or ask within themselves why things are the way they are, na to insult the government from morning to night, forgetting that the government were once people like us, that received training not much different from how many of us are trained

Yet they readily claim that when it comes to raising of kids, their way is superior...

jaxxy:
If u read my post u would see I said both have pros and cons. Since the US side isn't working try the Nigerian side. That's my point here.

The OP has yet to make an attempt so why conclude the US side isn't working?

Playermayweda:
I tire oo they will now grow up to be mentality ill adults that we see everyday in our country

The problem is real ...

Kobojunkie:
Kids potentially struggling with mental illness need spanking instead?

No
Kids that are deliberately stubborn and restless.

You will see how fast they respond to reason and improve quickly when there is a threat of spanking.

Not every child anomaly is a clinical diagnosis.

Some just need cane.

klassyguy:
I

At such age, it is too early to figure out if your child has a learning disability (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). So don't rule him out yet. It might just be a phase that he would outgrow or certain life experiences would get the job done.



However, if his present school cannot handle his unique needs, you may have to consider enrolling him in another. Better still, you could put in the work at home.

Find out activities that interests and calms him at the same time and engage him in those mostly. The PS5, in my opinion, is a wrong move for now. Even adults experience restlessness from ps5 addiction how much more a young lad...

Oga ,....with time he may or may not throw out this character ,...l will advise you study him till he gets to 9 years ,if he continues ,...then you might have to do it the Africa Nigeria way ,.. thanks ,wish you the best

klassyguy:
I have two lovely kids with my wife - a girl and a boy. My son is six years old while his sister is eight. Both were born here in the US. I’ve done what I feel is right as a father to train these kids, but I know not everything can be done accordingly.

My son is restless. He has the attention span of three seconds before he gets distracted by something else. My mum tells says he is a copy of me when I was his age, but that was in the eighties and the way children were handled back then is totally different from today. He hardly wants to do anything in terms of school work and almost every day I get complaints from his teacher that he does not do his work or he is disruptive in class. When other students are doing their work, my son will be the one falling off his chair or hiding under his desk. His teacher told me he acts out when being corrected. Only yesterday my wife told me the teacher met her when she went to pick them up in school and told her that my son started yelling when the lights in the class started flickering. His behavior got so bad, they had to call the school security officer before he calmed down.

This behavior is really bothering me. I know my son is smart. His pre-school teacher once told me he was the smartest student she had. My son can do complex mathematical equations off the top of his head that even his older sister struggles to do. He has a very good memory and can list off all the types of trains that exist in the US, things that even I don’t know. It’s sitting down to be serious about work that he can’t do and can’t seem to focus on.

I enrolled him in a soccer club to see if that would help him expel his excess energy. At first he seemed to be lazy as he gets frustrated easily, and rather try harder, my son would rather give up and cry. I mostly have to encourage him to put in more effort, and most of the time he does not pay attention to what the coach says. The coach told me a couple of days ago that he wants to move him to a lower group level to see if he can build his confidence there.

I want to believe it’s his being the last born for now that’s worrying him. He seemed to start being a bit more mature when my wife got pregnant last year and he learnt they had a younger sibling on the way, but unfortunately, she miscarried and we lost the baby. I’ve been thinking for a while now whether to move back to Nigeria with everyone so that we can build some sense into both of them (my daughter’s story is another one). I’ve thought of taking them both for an ADHD test, but my wife is against that. The only time my son pays attention is when he’s doing something he likes, and that is when he’s playing the PS5 I got them or watching videos on YouTube Kids.

Any advice would be welcome from parents out there.

Your son may be autistic. It comes in different form. Do let me know if you need more information. He needs a behavioral school instead of ordinary school.

My advice is for you to bring him to Nigeria and be a bit more firm with him and spank when necessary.

Try it for six months and see if he improves.

If not, fly him back to where you brought him from.

Sprumbaba:


Your son may be autistic. It comes in different form. Do let me know if you need more information. He needs a behavioral school instead of ordinary school.

Jesus!!
See diagnosis.

CSTRR:
No
Kids that are deliberately stubborn and restless.
You will see how fast they respond to reason and improve quickly when there is a threat of spanking.
Not every child anomaly is a clinical diagnosis.
Some just need cane.

What they respond to is pain and do so in fear, not reason. You should know this. When you spank a child, it isn't that the child's brain suddenly has a realization. Instead it is the case that the child, in response to the unpleasantness that is the pain of being spanked, shifts his mode of understanding to accommodate whatever information is potentially being forced on him at that point.

Open your eyes and see what a culture of flogging has done to Nigeria as a whole....it has created a nation filled with individuals who are ill-equipped to properly reason things out ... commonsense is a very scarce commodity among Nigerians since their brains seem no longer wired to handle commonsense at all. Instead, there brains seem only able to react and majority of the times in the most foolish of ways.

---

Spanking can be used as a tool but not a go-to way of raising or training kids.

You got a 6 year old ps5 and expect him not to act out Lmao
What kinds of games is he playing on ps5?
Was the ps5 a reward for something good that he did or over indulgence because you have the money?
Most ps5 games are violent.
You have used your hand to buy problem for yourself. That child needs rehabilitation as quickly as possible...

https://www.playstation.com/en-us/legal/psn-rules/

Most importantly, HAVE YOU GIVEN YOUR CHILDREN ANY PART OF JESUS

Kobojunkie:
The OP has yet to make an attempt so why conclude the US side isn't working?

Teachers have tried already and he as the parent has equally tried. Hence the suggestion.

Kobojunkie:
What they respond to is pain and do so in fear, not reason. You should know this. When you spank a child, it isn't that the child's brain suddenly has a realization. Instead it is the case that the child, in response to the unpleasantness that is the pain of being spanked, shifts his mode of understanding to accommodate whatever information is potentially being forced on him at that point.

Open your eyes and see what a culture of flogging has done to Nigeria as a whole....it has created a nation filled with individuals who are ill-equipped to properly reason things out ... commonsense is a very scarce commodity among Nigerians since their brains seem no longer wired to handle commonsense at all. Instead, there brains seem only able to react and majority of the times in the most foolish of ways.

---

Spanking can be used as a tool but not a go-to way of raising or training kids.

This is why Nigerians cannot be counted on to follow simple traffic rule if these is no threat of violence.

That is the end result of the celebration of beating. Also why several Nigerians are celebrating the bully ceo.

It's ADHD, HE IS ALSO A GENIUS. TAKE HIM TO A CHILDREN'S THERAPIST FOR CONFIRMATION

Kobojunkie:
What they respond to is pain and do so in fear, not reason. You should know this. When you spank a child, it isn't that the child's brain suddenly has a realization. Instead it is the case that the child, in response to the unpleasantness that is the pain of being spanked, shifts his mode of understanding to accommodate whatever information is potentially being forced on him at that point.

Open your eyes and see what a culture of flogging has done to Nigeria as a whole....it has created a nation filled with individuals who are ill-equipped to properly reason things out ... commonsense is a very scarce commodity among Nigerians since their brains seem no longer wired to handle commonsense at all. Instead, there brains seem only able to react and majority of the times in the most foolish of ways.

I believe common sense comes with age.

When I took meat in my mummy's pot as a kid, my mom gave me a dirty slap.
It stopped me from doing that again.

Now I am older and I know why stealing from pot is bad.

Common sense is an individual thing.

There is no common sense in allowing a trans-man compete in a female swimming competition.

Where is the common sense when a US supreme Court nominee cannot give a correct and simple definition of a woman so as not to offend some people?

jaxxy:
Teachers have tried already and he as the parent has equally tried. Hence the suggestion.

Teachers build on the job already done by parents. They are not parents.... their job is not to raise your kids but to train them in the arts and sciences.

Why do I get the feeling that some of you think parenting is about handing children over to Teachers?,

You mentioned all the symptoms of ADHD. You might want to take the kid to a hospital for proper diagnosis.

https://mentalhealthliteracy.org/product/adhd-evaluation-form-parent-teacher-version-assessment/

Start here.

Of course you will see the words mental health and freak out. This is the real reason your wife does not want any testing.

No oyibo madness for my pikin. Not my portion. I am too blessed for any of the devil's curses etc etc

The type of advisers on this thread is something else.

OP take your child for a test. This is the time to get a handle on this.
If you don’t, the school will recommend it and by then, it is no longer in your hands.

Advise your wife, that there is nothing wrong with carrying out a test.