Liability has no say in Marriage that is why some men prefer such ladies so as to completely dominate them as a complete house wife.

On the other hand,some women see marriage as a source of income and by the time they get in,they start bringing in their family problem on the newly wedded husband.

This is what we see in our society generally...but many of them turn out disappointed in marriage because of the above.

T

I don't thing it's necessary for the lady to be financially bouyant like you've put it, before getting married. Being rich financially is in the hands of our creator. When you get married as a lady, you should very patience with your husband, plan your life together and follow through your plan to the last bit the rest live it to your maker.

Men have become wiser over the years.

No man wants to marry a woman without her own source of income. If she doesn't have a job or business, at least she has a prospect of helping you succeed as a man.

Another marriage wahala...Being single is dope, aswear.

Not married thou but to my observation financially stable women are to prideful, they believe that they've arrive and anyone coming should stood low before them this has been the scenerio in various cases but it's good for a woman to be handing.

At least some should strive to own a business in the marriage, to release some certain financial tension.
Th Holy Bible describes the wife as a Help meet for the man

Having a source of income does not guarantee it will continue.
Marriage could come with setbacks for women such as :
Change of location.
Lost of eligibility
Conflict with domestic duties.

These can take a woman off job anytime.
I married my wife who was gainfully employed in Abuja but she had to relocate to Lagos and getting a good job became a challenge. I weighed my option and realized the offers of 50-60k salary isnt worth the attentions my kids will need. She has to suspend her career for 7yrs and to allow the period of child bearing. And as we forged ahead, it was even clearer allowing her take a white-collar job wont be ideal. Had to set her up with my entire savings and she now earns even more than i do.

Note: I took these steps because she proved a good woman within these period of 7yrs and showed she is so much interested in a team work.

If your dont want a dependent woman, find her and make her independent if you can. Her character is much more important than what she brings to the table, because u can help her bring something but u cant change a bad character.

Haven said all this, never allow your wife to be fully dependent because if you die she will be stranded and your children will suffer.

Darlingme:
Based on my own opinion, a young lady who has no job, skills that is fetching her money should NOT go into marriage with any man.
The general idea you read online about independent / career young ladies been arrogant, ''can't get married'', ''men detest them'', bla bla bla are all lies in reality. So long as you have good character and well behaved, men will be running after you to be your husband even if you are as rich as Dangote. (Who no like better thing?)
The young lady I met in the hospital yesterday, beaten up by her husband, truamatized and at the point of death, got me really mad and I feel like using a microphone to ask this question.
I pray she survive it.

My question is this?

Why do women goes into marriage without having any source of income on their own? Why?
And why do men prefer marrying young and fianancially helpless women, (village girls) then accuse her of not contributing fianancially, especially when fianancial obligations beomes too heavy in the marriage? Why?
What is your opinion on this?

Because our society produces weak men, men who cannot stand up to adversity, cowards who hide under " God will fight my battles" instead of standing up and dealing with a situation. These men want their ego massaged at every minute, they want the little they bring to the table to be enough with praise and worship following them for doing something as mundane as paying for their kids' fees.
These men want to be the ones who save the damsel but the damsel has to be super poor and helpless so that their little contributions will look like a lot. They will never go for a working lady or a richer lady because they cannot phantom the idea of bettering themselves to match the woman's output.
these are the same ones clamoring for virgins and submissive women. these men have no stroke game. they want who they will wow with their 2 minutes action and when the person wants more, she is no longer submissive.

But the reality is this, that naive, virgin girl will open her eyes one day and see the BS in front of her as it is, and when that happens the weak man will end up beating her because that is his last line of dominance.

Ladies, beware of weak men, those that crave so much worship and adoration, that is their inadequacy and insecurity showing. Most of them come as "Brother Church member" those ones are the absolute worst of them.

Good advice

TOPCRUISE:
In Nigeria your husband is your source of income

Lol... And her family source of income oo.. Until they use burden and stress kill the man..Then you will see the madam that couldn't do any little job/business to support the husband hustle up and down, take care of herself and kids. Wickedness.. Men be wise

lahizak:

We men prefer a working babe with stable income. Unfortunately job market hard and their are only a few of em. And among the few, many of em have this big ego (bad behaviour). As for me, I don't see myself ever marrying a lady without a stable income, no matter how long it will take me to find one. Amma wait for her. It's a complete turn off for me even when a girl visit me and start requesting money to buy ordinary things like salt, Maggi and eggs. Not to talk of wife, na frustration go kill me be dat

Oga there are many good hardworking ladies out there but stereotype/ generalization won't allow men approach them.. How people believe a financial stable woman must have bad character amaze me..

Hope slay queens are reading abi...

TI1919:
I don't thing it's necessary for the lady to be financially bouyant like you've put it, before getting married. Being rich financially is in the hands of our creator. When you get married as a lady, you should very patience with your husband, plan your life together and follow through your plan to the last bit the rest live it to your maker.

So in essence you are here saying it is right for a woman to depend wholly on her husband for all of her needs as an individual?

brennyB:
At least some should strive to own a business in the marriage, to release some certain financial tension.
Th Holy Bible describes the wife as a Help meet for the man

No it does not!

Eve was instead the one woman who was made to be a Helper for her husband, Adam but we know how that ended leading God to place a curse on marriage in Genesis 3 vs 16.

For those who are Christians , instead God has given them His own Spirit for a Helper.

You can only understand marriage conflicts if once married or apparently married. Miss me with all these advice from all the unmarried counselors over here.

Darlingme:
This is exactly what most of you said, but in reality, it's not true. When she ask you for money for everything in the home, the same you go about complaining.
She has no fianancial source of income, but because she's naive, humble and you foresee submission ability in her, you married her.
When marital responsibilities set in, you begin to desire a helper, a supporter. You begin to long for a wife, who will buy Maggie, pepper, pay children school fees, subscribe electricity, buy gas, make nice meal without bothering you. Why? Don't you consider all that before you marry her?
Men need fianancially equipped woman to survive. She must be earning something.

Any husband that complains about his wife asking for money doesn't understand his responsibilities as a husband.

in my culture, before any family agrees to let you marry their daughter, you would have to agree to take care of:
1. Her shelter
2. Her clothing
3. Her feeding
4. IF she has a college degree or any certificate that is employable You have 2 options
A. Let her work
B. Agree to give her pocket money every month. This is after taking care of the 1.2.3 above.

If you agree to let her work, still, she has full right to her salary. If she likes she'll add up to help the family financially if she doesn't, she don't need to.

ArewaTech1:


Any husband that complains about his wife asking for money doesn't understand his responsibilities as a husband.

in my culture, before any family agrees to let you marry their daughter, you would have to agree to take care of:
1. Her shelter
2. Her clothing
3. Her feeding
4. IF she has a college degree or any certificate that is employable You have 2 options
A. Let her work
B. Agree to give her pocket money every month. This is after taking care of the 1.2.3 above.

If you agree to let her work, still, she has full right to her salary. If she likes she'll add up to help the family financially if she doesn't, she don't need to.

Where are you from bro, so I can avoid girls from that place that might lead to marriage.

We're not in a woke society. Like one poster said, In Nigeria/africa marriage is all about control. I fully agree except with the way she potrayed it. Few women can handle power/wealth without misbehaving, look around you or towards the western hemisphere.

A man has to have a modicum of control over his affairs, mind you I'm referring to control=firm hand & not the typical outright master/slave relationship. Everyone recognizes that subconsciously, even the so called women who are loudly against it. Listen to a woman's words at your own peril. Men lead, women follow. We're not equals, the Ukraine situation just exposed that woke ism shit! Hypocrites!

Most Nigerian men do not hate working class women, what they don't want is someone with a lot of ego which is quite common among these kind of ladies. When a typical woman makes more money she feels she doesn't need a man, women like this like to upset the cart with needless drama or power tussles.
Marriage is not a competition, women like that should grow balls & remain single, adopt children or look abroad for emasculated men that would allow such nonsense. It's not by force to get married. The nunnery is always open. Most men don't need their women's money either but there are certain conditions the man should be able to count on you to serve as a backup temporarily but we all know how 90% of such cases end. What's the use of marrying such a woman then if everything is one way? Getting a baby mama is better then.

So men go after the unemployed humble type but the only mistake they make is not setting up those women to work under them in their business/work remotely from home to improve her capability to support the home, a woman can't have two masters & still function effectively at home, yes you heard it right. Ever noticed why most women respect their pastors/bosses more than their husbands? There are natural reasons for all these.

Make sure the business is in your name/you own it to avoid the kind of tales we read of foolish ignorant men in the Romance section. If you're lucky to have one of the well brought up & evolved women who don't see men as competition or a tool to be used & discarded, she can have her own businesses & your full support.

One man I know sells gadgets, His wife works there with him, he can travel/look after his other businesses in peace, nor would she give him Yeye excuses when they get home.

So it's up to both genders to know what they want & follow it but unfortunately most folks live on auto mode, na anywhere belle face is their life rule, no definite plans, nothing.

If you want a traditional man, prepare to be a fully submissive traditional wife.

You want a partner? Make sure you're one also in all ramifications.

Want a man to lord it over, find a gigolo or something, many guys are up for that.

Most women prefer the first option but would typically try to have their cake & eat it at the same time. Want to be taken care of as queens without rendering any serious responsibilities/services like a Chihuahua.

Me I will not marry a liability, if i contribute 70percent try bring 30. If two people get then e go choke. My billionaire goal would be more achievable if I have a woman who contributes to our getting there. Any man who doesn't want an independent woman is just insecure. Me and my woman must grow together finicially and otherwise.

Pierocash:
If she gets to 35 and has no tangible means of income,she shouldn't marry when she sees a man ready to marry her abi?

The beating of that woman to a pulp by her husband is not because she is jobless,even gainfully employed ones dey collect better beating if she runs her mouth afoul towards a man that has beating talent


A woman that is jobless and has bad character ,and ingrate will for sure endure hardship in that marriage ,not because she is jobless ,but because she has no sense ..

So marrying is the new porvety alliviation? wow, just wow

Joseph08:


Where are you from bro, so I can avoid girls from that place that might lead to marriage.

I'm from the North bro. that's how it is. at least in our tribe/family.

I'm a Fulani. so make sure you avoid our girls
if you don't want to be the 1 doing all the 4 things I mentioned.

and I'm pretty sure it is the same amongst the Hausas.

I nor fit marry if I nor get my OWN MONEY oh.

Me wey like enjoyment, cruise, food and soft life.

ArewaTech1:


I'm from the North bro. that's how it is. at least in our tribe/family.

I'm a Fulani. so make sure you avoid our girls
if you don't want to be the 1 doing all the 4 things I mentioned.

and I'm pretty sure it is the same amongst the Hausas.

Thank you for telling me.

I will be watchful.

Lordhades21:
Me I will not marry a liability, if i contribute 70percent try bring 30. If two people get then e go choke. My billionaire goal would be more achievable if I have a woman who contributes to our getting there. Any man who doesn't want an independent woman is just insecure. Me and my woman must grow together finicially and otherwise.

Good you don't want to marry such a woman but the Nigerian society however extols men who marry such women so if you must have an issue with anyone for allowing this culture, direct your attack and venom at society, not the women.

Mercychen:
Look, let me not lie. I used to have that mentality of " only a man should work and cater for the family" because that was the kind of condition I was brought up. Where my dad didn't allow my Mom to work or do anything for years until our last born started school.

My dad was the only one shouldering all the financial responsibilities but My Mom on the other hand was always fighting to also get something doing but my dad would have none of it. Not until, we were all grown.

Now, growing up in that kinda setting conditioned my mind badly and I never saw the need for a woman to be financially independent. So I was always seeing Marriage as an escape from financial insecurities. Though one good thing my dad did to brake that jinx was, he made sure we worked after schooling. Like he'll practically take you to his friends ( he was highly connected) companies and tell the to fix you up with a job but within me, I'll be like if I marry all these nonsense will stop lol... Little did I know he was doing me a great deal of good.

Years down the line, after he retired and I was out of the house, staying on my own, i quarreled with my ex over money for Xmas hair because I was out of job then. So, later he came and we made up again. That night he said something very profound that changed my mentality for good.

He said, see, "J gurl" I want a working class woman. Immediately I got the message and we t job hunting.

Now, I didn't go job hunting to please him but because I knew at that instant that I was on my own! So I get to take full responsibility of myself.
His joy when I told him I had gotten a job. He surprised me in school that day.
The security man told me someone was at the gate to see me but I couldn't go and meet him. So he dropped a gift for me. I checked and it was a designer perf I had been dying to have for long. I just shook my head. Mehn.. so from then, I concluded all men are the same. Some may not voice out but.. they all wish their women are financially independent.

I now have this belief that, even if you're not going to support the man with it, at least you should be able to use it to take care of your personal needs and ease your own burden off him.

I'm glad my dad lead me in the way of financial freedom and my ex emphasized on it. And finally how God breath on it and took me to where I am today.

Why didn't you marry the ex?

God will bless you for this!

One month in to the marriage, they become alarmed after spending double of what they used to spend and then wahala starts.

Darlingme:
This is exactly what most of you said, but in reality, it's not true. When she ask you for money for everything in the home, the same you go about complaining.
She has no fianancial source of income, but because she's naive, humble and you foresee submission ability in her, you married her.
When marital responsibilities set in, you begin to desire a helper, a supporter. You begin to long for a wife, who will buy Maggie, pepper, pay children school fees, subscribe electricity, buy gas, make nice meal without bothering you. Why? Don't you consider all that before you marry her?
Men need fianancially equipped woman to survive. She must be earning something.

ArewaTech1:


I'm from the North bro. that's how it is. at least in our tribe/family.

I'm a Fulani. so make sure you avoid our girls
if you don't want to be the 1 doing all the 4 things I mentioned.

and I'm pretty sure it is the same amongst the Hausas.

You didn't outline what's expected of the women ( behaviors, attitudes & responsibilities) in return. I'm sure he would likely change his mind when he finds out they are different from the type he rolls with.

okay

It is very important that a woman should have a source of income, especially in marriage. It help saves a lot in unforeseen circumstances. My wife is a working class woman and combining forces together with her has made us achieve a lot in a little time. A woman should have a source of income for herself in times of needs. I and my siblings were raised by my mother alone. Imagine if she didn’t had anything doing. No man respects a woman that’s not productive for long. There will come a time that the man will which his wife was working. There’s this pride that a man feels knowing that his wife his a working class lady. Not every working class lady is not submissive to her husband and not every stay at home wife is submissive to her husband. A woman that is good is good whether she’s working or not and a bad woman is bad whether she’s working or not.

Techsupport:


So marrying is the new porvety alliviation? wow, just wow

it may serve so depending on the status of the groom. But that isn't my assertion here.

My brief is about marriage and age. Marriage was ordained by God that people who have come of age should marry,but a woman not having a tangible source of income shouldn't be a disqualifying factor for her to get into marriage if the husband to be is ready to bride her like that.

For me, I can marry any woman whether jobless or employed,that isn't my area of consideration.

My area of interest is her moral behaviours ,and well cultured and respectful, that's all.

Even education isn't part of my criteria

Most men don't care about a lady's finance or job. They just want to marry a yes woman. But thank God men are waking up now.
When a lady is working a lot and making money, men tends to see it as a masculine trait, because they believe that they supposed to be the one working and the provider.
So that's where the problem is.