CCC2:
Having a source of income does not guarantee it will continue.
Marriage could come with setbacks for women such as :
Change of location.
Lost of eligibility
Conflict with domestic duties.

These can take a woman off job anytime.
I married my wife who was gainfully employed in Abuja but she had to relocate to Lagos and getting a good job became a challenge. I weighed my option and realized the offers of 50-60k salary isnt worth the attentions my kids will need. She has to suspend her career for 7yrs and to allow the period of child bearing. And as we forged ahead, it was even clearer allowing her take a white-collar job wont be ideal. Had to set her up with my entire savings and she now earns even more than i do.

Note: I took these steps because she proved a good woman within these period of 7yrs and showed she is so much interested in a team work.

If your dont want a dependent woman, find her and make her independent if you can. Her character is much more important than what she brings to the table, because u can help her bring something but u cant change a bad character.

Haven said all this, never allow your wife to be fully dependent because if you die she will be stranded and your children will suffer.

By their comments, we know wise folks .


Your last sentence capped it all. Anything can happen in life. Respect!

bekpo:


I grew up from a family that believes that it's d duty of d man 2 fend 4 d family. Though my mum was wealthy, she never leave d home entirely 2 d hubby. Again my dad never see it that because d wife is wealthy, he will have 2 abandoned his responsibility.

Severally, i used 2 overheard my dad asked mum, how mush did u spend while i was away? Or pls replace this money wherever u took from 4 d family.

It's not bad 4 a woman 2 have something doing but leaving d entire responsibility to her or seeing it that it's her responsibility to cater, it's wrong. She's just a "helper".

Helper keh? Who she dey help? She don help her family people finish? Guy if you like use your hand put yourself for trouble.

My wife will be a partner, not just a helper. Otherwise we stay in our parent families and " help" them very well

Mkayfrenzy:
This is the main reason my mum is partially suffering. I just pray God provides a good job for me soon so I can take care of her. I'm so sad rn.

Don't worry, everything is gonna be alright. I believe, and so should you.


Hard conditions don't last forever

ArewaTech1:


Any husband that complains about his wife asking for money doesn't understand his responsibilities as a husband.

in my culture, before any family agrees to let you marry their daughter, you would have to agree to take care of:
1. Her shelter
2. Her clothing
3. Her feeding
4. IF she has a college degree or any certificate that is employable You have 2 options
A. Let her work
B. Agree to give her pocket money every month. This is after taking care of the 1.2.3 above.

If you agree to let her work, still, she has full right to her salary. If she likes she'll add up to help the family financially if she doesn't, she don't need to.

what is the life expectancy of men in that your "culture"?

I no fit shout abeg . Shaa me and liability enwero okwu to start with

safarigirl:



You know this

Any man that says he does not want his wife to work, does it mainly because he wants to control her, he wants a woman that has no agency, so, that he can do anything to her and it will slide.

It is the control that they want, because in their eyes, you are no more than property, like buying a cow and keeping it to give you milk, or in this case, children, as well as wait on them hand and foot.

I have seen too many women get the short end of the stick in these arrangements to advice any woman to get married without a source of income.

Having a source of income earns you respect in any home.

You are so right.



You know they give those women nice names like 'home maker', 'virtuous woman' etc just to decorate their cages.




Hahahahahahahahhahahaha



Now the next point to observe is that once you start making money and it's getting obvious, these guys will start trooping around you.




Most of them have bad intentions, as in, they want a moneybag they can still control.




Do these guys think women are blind?




Even if some are blind, does it mean every woman is blind?




This new era na to shine eye well well.

CCC2:
Having a source of income does not guarantee it will continue.
Marriage could come with setbacks for women such as :
Change of location.
Lost of eligibility
Conflict with domestic duties.

These can take a woman off job anytime.
I married my wife who was gainfully employed in Abuja but she had to relocate to Lagos and getting a good job became a challenge. I weighed my option and realized the offers of 50-60k salary isnt worth the attentions my kids will need. She has to suspend her career for 7yrs and to allow the period of child bearing. And as we forged ahead, it was even clearer allowing her take a white-collar job wont be ideal. Had to set her up with my entire savings and she now earns even more than i do.

Note: I took these steps because she proved a good woman within these period of 7yrs and showed she is so much interested in a team work.

If your dont want a dependent woman, find her and make her independent if you can. Her character is much more important than what she brings to the table, because u can help her bring something but u cant change a bad character.

Haven said all this, never allow your wife to be fully dependent because if you die she will be stranded and your children will suffer.

Wise Counsel... He who has ears , let him hear!!

Kobojunkie:
So in essence you are here saying it is right for a woman to depend wholly on her husband for all of her needs as an individual?

It is important that the man earn a living, if he is lucky to have a woman that earn a good living that is good too but it is not a yardstic that the woman must be working or earning a good living. the man can extablish a business for her.

I will NEVER marry a woman with no source of income. No matter how small, she MUST be earning something or doing a trade. To me that makes her understand money management abit atleast.

Techsupport:


Because our society produces weak men, men who cannot stand up to adversity, cowards who hide under " God will fight my battles" instead of standing up and dealing with a situation. These men want their ego massaged at every minute, they want the little they bring to the table to be enough with praise and worship following them for doing something as mundane as paying for their kids' fees.
These men want to be the ones who save the damsel but the damsel has to be super poor and helpless so that their little contributions will look like a lot. They will never go for a working lady or a richer lady because they cannot phantom the idea of bettering themselves to match the woman's output.
these are the same ones clamoring for virgins and submissive women. these men have no stroke game. they want who they will wow with their 2 minutes action and when the person wants more, she is no longer submissive.

But the reality is this, that naive, virgin girl will open her eyes one day and see the BS in front of her as it is, and when that happens the weak man will end up beating her because that is his last line of dominance.

Ladies, beware of weak men, those that crave so much worship and adoration, that is their inadequacy and insecurity showing. Most of them come as "Brother Church member" those ones are the absolute worst of them.

When you read things like this , you can't help to admire the matured minds and souls we have here on Nairaland!!!

I admire your Brilliance... whomever you are!

ArewaTech1:


Any husband that complains about his wife asking for money doesn't understand his responsibilities as a husband.

in my culture, before any family agrees to let you marry their daughter, you would have to agree to take care of:
1. Her shelter
2. Her clothing
3. Her feeding
4. IF she has a college degree or any certificate that is employable You have 2 options
A. Let her work
B. Agree to give her pocket money every month. This is after taking care of the 1.2.3 above.

If you agree to let her work, still, she has full right to her salary. If she likes she'll add up to help the family financially if she doesn't, she don't need to.

So I'm summary you're saying a fu fledge man should use his hands and go an carry a grown up adult who isn't deformed as a liability and out inside his house!!!

lordally:

So I'm summary you're saying a fu fledge man should use his hands and go an carry a grown up adult who isn't deformed as a liability and out inside his house!!!

that's how it works, that's how I met it.


you see it as a liability, some of us don't.


but hey, it is a choice we made. not everyone has to marry a full-time housewife. If you have the means do it. if you can't, get yourself a working-class wife.

my wife to be has told me several times that she doesn't wanna work, despite having a 2nd class lower BSc. she wants to be a full-time housewife and I am fine with it.

I can take care of her and our children, and she'll take care of the home.

Jeferious:
what is the life expectancy of men in that your "culture"?

I no fit shout abeg . Shaa me and liability enwero okwu to start with

60+ I guess. [no official data]


Haha

you see it as a liability, some of us don't.

my wife to-be has told me several times that she doesn't wanna work, despite having a 2nd class lower BSc. she wants to be a full-time housewife and I am fine with it.

I can take care of her and our children, and she'll take care of the home.

win-win for us... **shrugs

Marrying a lady without any source of income would been the greatest mistake of my life. Thank God it never happened. Today I am happily married to a double qualified Nurse who earns 6 figures. She assists me in running the home financially.

Jeferious:
Helper keh? Who she dey help? She don help her family people finish? Guy if you like use your hand put yourself for trouble.

My wife will be a partner, not just a helper. Otherwise we stay in our parent families and " help" them very well

She's ur helpmeet!

abobote:
In our culture it is not in a place of woman to provide for the family, but if there's a source of income that will not alter the family equation, it should be an added advantage.
Most ladies with source of income, don't understand the place of a woman in a home, they claim equal right, and want you to share domestic work with them, since they are contributing financially.
My wife doesn't have any source of income, and I'm okay with it
She is keeping the house clean, do the cooking, wake up early, get the kids ready and take them to school

@bolded why won't you do domestic chores when she's contributing?
You say a woman that demands that from you doesn't know her place, but you forget that contributing financially isn't the woman's place too?
This is the problem I have with traditional folks these days. Most of you are selfish hypocrites.
Men want ladies that can contribute financially, but at the same don't want to contribute domestically claiming it's not their role. Is financial contribution the woman's role?

While the women want men that will help them with domestic chores, but at the same time don't want to contribute financially.

Confused folks!. Y'all should choose one path and follow it strictly.
If you want to be traditional, then be traditional to the full. Not traditional when it suites you and otherwise when it doesn't suit you.

Same thing for Liberal people. If you wanna be Liberal then be Liberal to the full.

Ses fini

lordally:


When you read things like this , you can't help to admire the matured minds and souls we have here on Nairaland!!!

I admire your Brilliance... whomever you are!

Shout out to you too. real recognize real. Brilliance recognizes brilliance.

TI1919:
It is important that the man earn a living, if he is lucky to have a woman that earn a good living that is good too but it is not a yardstic that the woman must be working or earning a good living. the man can extablish a business for her.

So men who worked hard to have their own business or learn a skill and established themselves have two heads abi Why can't a woman do same for her own self?? Why must dey wait for a man to set a business up for her?

Mavinsoladele:


How can I like your comment a thousand times?


Kudos to your dad 'cos I love working class, independent women. I hate people with entitlement mentality, most especially ladies.

.

Bad

My brother, I will only say this once....na only God dey feed man, you have to work but rely not on your own strength or skills.

Many Married and wise people will tell you this.

Nigeria is tough as it is and is not the era where the husband should take up all the responsibilities of the home alone .
No woman with her right senses should go into marriage with empty hand without empowering herself financially .

ArewaTech1:


60+ I guess. [no official data]


Haha

you see it as a liability, some of us don't.

my wife to-be has told me several times that she doesn't wanna work, despite having a 2nd class lower BSc. she wants to be a full-time housewife and I am fine with it.

I can take care of her and our children, and she'll take care of the home.

win-win for us... **shrugs

Ok...Kontinue.

Pierocash:
the mum.and that is making me spend double

Why Can't you have the kid and pay less. Did the court rule that she should have the kid

Goldentulip2:
I will NEVER marry a woman with no source of income. No matter how small, she MUST be earning something or doing a trade. To me that makes her understand money management abit atleast.

Here... meet TI1919, another man in Nigeria, who says a woman that has no source of income..

TI1919:
It is important that the man earn a living, if he is lucky to have a woman that earn a good living that is good too but it is not a yardstic that the woman must be working or earning a good living. the man can extablish a business for her.

omoharry:
Nigeria is tough as it is and is not the era where the husband should take up all the responsibilities of the home alone .
No woman with her right senses should go into marriage with empty hand without empowering herself financially .

That decision is to be made and carried by the couple in their marriage.

What is instead needed is law to hold couples responsible for any children they birth at least till those kids gain partial independence - whenever that happens.

Depends on who you are getting married to sha but won't advise anyone to go unto marriage without a skill or atleast plans to acquire one.

Don't marry if you are broke

Techsupport:


Why Can't you have the kid and pay less. Did the court rule that she should have the kid

nothing like court. She told me to come take the child but I insisted the boy stays with her. I don't want him to be raised by another woman. I want him to have motherly presence and occasionally his father's presence during holidays. But for me to bring him under the care of another woman when he has a mother,no no for me.

And trust women,she used that opportunity to open bank account for my head. I pay his school fees,send money for his monthly upkeep in 10s of thousands, aside other miscellaneous expenses at her request . I do that to make him comfortable

Pierocash:
nothing like court. She told me to come take the child but I insisted the boy stays with her. I don't want him to be raised by another woman. I want him to have motherly presence and occasionally his father's presence during holidays. But for me to bring him under the care of another woman when he has a mother,no no for me.

And trust women,she used that opportunity to open bank account for my head. I pay his school fees,send money for his monthly upkeep in 10s of thousands, aside other miscellaneous expenses at her request . I do that to make him comfortable

Congrats on taking care of your child. but look at it this way. raising a child is not easy. if you get an opportunity is any state in Nigeria, you won't even think twice, you will be off to the job but that woman has to pause, think about the kid, most time, she will forgo that opportunity because of the child. So yes, what she is doing is normal, I just hope she is not just trying to hurt you intentionallly.

Techsupport:



Congrats on taking care of your child. but look at it this way. raising a child is not easy. if you get an opportunity is any state in Nigeria, you won't even think twice, you will be off to the job but that woman has to pause, think about the kid, most time, she will forgo that opportunity because of the child. So yes, what she is doing is normal, I just hope she is not just trying to hurt you intentionallly.

that is why she is a mother. Abi nah man go play the role before. I don't feel hurt in any way, I am just fine

Pierocash:
that is why she is a mother. Abi nah man go play the role before. I don't feel hurt in any way, I am just fine

You mean the role of raising a child?

Techsupport:

You mean the role of raising a child?

yes ofcourse