Pierocash:
it may serve so depending on the status of the groom. But that isn't my assertion here.

My brief is about marriage and age. Marriage was ordained by God that people who have come of age should marry,but a woman not having a tangible source of income shouldn't be a disqualifying factor for her to get into marriage if the husband to be is ready to bride her like that.

For me, I can marry any woman whether jobless or employed,that isn't my area of consideration.

My area of interest is her moral behaviours ,and well cultured and respectful, that's all.

Even education isn't part of my criteria

Techsupport:


How long have you been married?

Pierocash:
I am a father of 10 yrs but not married

Techsupport:


Ok. Congrats though. Does your kid live with you or the mum?

Darlingme:
Based on my own opinion, a young lady who has no job, skills that is fetching her money should NOT go into marriage with any man.
The general idea you read online about independent / career young ladies been arrogant, ''can't get married'', ''men detest them'', bla bla bla are all lies in reality. So long as you have good character and well behaved, men will be running after you to be your husband even if you are as rich as Dangote. (Who no like better thing?)
The young lady I met in the hospital yesterday, beaten up by her husband, truamatized and at the point of death, got me really mad and I feel like using a microphone to ask this question.
I pray she survive it.

My question is this?

Why do women goes into marriage without having any source of income on their own? Why?
And why do men prefer marrying young and fianancially helpless women, (village girls) then accuse her of not contributing fianancially, especially when fianancial obligations beomes too heavy in the marriage? Why?
What is your opinion on this?

Darlingme:
Based on my own opinion, a young lady who has no job, skills that is fetching her money should NOT go into marriage with any man.
The general idea you read online about independent / career young ladies been arrogant, ''can't get married'', ''men detest them'', bla bla bla are all lies in reality. So long as you have good character and well behaved, men will be running after you to be your husband even if you are as rich as Dangote. (Who no like better thing?)
The young lady I met in the hospital yesterday, beaten up by her husband, truamatized and at the point of death, got me really mad and I feel like using a microphone to ask this question.
I pray she survive it.

My question is this?

Why do women goes into marriage without having any source of income on their own? Why?
And why do men prefer marrying young and fianancially helpless women, (village girls) then accuse her of not contributing fianancially, especially when fianancial obligations beomes too heavy in the marriage? Why?
What is your opinion on this?

Darlingme:
This is exactly what most of you said, but in reality, it's not true. When she ask you for money for everything in the home, the same you go about complaining.
She has no fianancial source of income, but because she's naive, humble and you foresee submission ability in her, you married her.
When marital responsibilities set in, you begin to desire a helper, a supporter. You begin to long for a wife, who will buy Maggie, pepper, pay children school fees, subscribe electricity, buy gas, make nice meal without bothering you. Why? Don't you consider all that before you marry her?
Men need fianancially equipped woman to survive. She must be earning something.

Darlingme:
This is exactly what most of you said, but in reality, it's not true. When she ask you for money for everything in the home, the same you go about complaining.
She has no fianancial source of income, but because she's naive, humble and you foresee submission ability in her, you married her.
When marital responsibilities set in, you begin to desire a helper, a supporter. You begin to long for a wife, who will buy Maggie, pepper, pay children school fees, subscribe electricity, buy gas, make nice meal without bothering you. Why? Don't you consider all that before you marry her?
Men need fianancially equipped woman to survive. She must be earning something.

Tickles001:
Men don't want money from women. What we want is chastity, clean heart and submission. The three is mostly never found in older women that have achieved something.

If not for the woke culture. It's never in the place of a woman to bring money to support the family.
That's why most men go for the chastity first because she could stay in his house and start business.

Darlingme:
@pierocash, in my own opinion, age shouldn't be the requirement at all. There are certain things that must be put in place first before marriage and failure to do that always turns bad in the marriage
Whether she's 35 or 40yrs in a marriage she can not add little support, there's a tendency of running her mouth when the man can not provide, not considering the pressure on the man.
To be on a safe side, women should be encouraged to define a source of income as well.

NoToPile:



Modern day men do want money from women and some even milk the woman too, lots of faworaja boys looking for ladies to milk and suck dry. Besides a sizeable no of men can even fully provide so yes they need the woman's money to support the home.


Also Chasitity clean heart and su mission can be found in well accomplished women.

2nd bolded you are right, it's the economy that is the main culprit

Darlingme:
@Tickles001, I'm not disputing your point of view, but the only thing I'm saying here is, women needs to be fianancially rooted in marriage as well. Not to drag power with her man, but for her own personal comfortability.

mayo47:
Speak for yourself from your perspective of life. Instead of using the word Men same applies to those that generalise with word women too

Nuttella:
I can marry without a source of income, what if I marry and the man becomes a blessing to me and get me a job or starts a business for me? you dunno this Nigeria is hard enough.

Though I have always been an advocate of having a source of income before marriage cause I hate insult and recieving money constantly from a man can lead to such. I love my self esteem and respect.

Kobojunkie:
since we are playing, "what ifs", What if you instead end up instead like the women described in the OP's post?

Nuttella:
I don't think her husband battered her cause she is jobless, some men are just cruel, prone to domestic violence and would batter any woman, whether working or not.

Kobojunkie:
The point the man was instead making when pointing out that she was jobless was that she had nowhere else to go and no way of supporting herself - and so would likely end up going back to kneel and beg her abuser to take her back.

If she had her own source of income, she would have probably made decisions of her own, like move out as soon as she noticed she was married to an abuser. But because she had nothing, she basically sat in and accepted the abuse for that main reason.

Pierocash:
[s]If she gets to 35 and has no tangible means of income,she shouldn't marry when she sees a man ready to marry her abi?

The beating of that woman to a pulp by her husband is not because she is jobless,even gainfully employed ones dey collect better beating if she runs her mouth afoul towards a man that has beating talent


A woman that is jobless and has bad character ,and ingrate will for sure endure hardship in that marriage ,not because she is jobless ,but because she has no sense ..
[/s]

Mercychen:
Look, let me not lie. I used to have that mentality of " only a man should work and cater for the family" because that was the kind of condition I was brought up. Where my dad didn't allow my Mom to work or do anything for years until our last born started school.

My dad was the only one shouldering all the financial responsibilities but My Mom on the other hand was always fighting to also get something doing but my dad would have none of it. Not until, we were all grown.

Now, growing up in that kinda setting conditioned my mind badly and I never saw the need for a woman to be financially independent. So I was always seeing Marriage as an escape from financial insecurities. Though one good thing my dad did to brake that jinx was, he made sure we worked after schooling. Like he'll practically take you to his friends ( he was highly connected) companies and tell the to fix you up with a job but within me, I'll be like if I marry all these nonsense will stop lol... Little did I know he was doing me a great deal of good.

Years down the line, after he retired and I was out of the house, staying on my own, i quarreled with my ex over money for Xmas hair because I was out of job then. So, later he came and we made up again. That night he said something very profound that changed my mentality for good.

He said, see, "J gurl" I want a working class woman. Immediately I got the message and we t job hunting.

Now, I didn't go job hunting to please him but because I knew at that instant that I was on my own! So I get to take full responsibility of myself.
His joy when I told him I had gotten a job. He surprised me in school that day.
The security man told me someone was at the gate to see me but I couldn't go and meet him. So he dropped a gift for me. I checked and it was a designer perf I had been dying to have for long. I just shook my head. Mehn.. so from then, I concluded all men are the same. Some may not voice out but.. they all wish their women are financially independent.

I now have this belief that, even if you're not going to support the man with it, at least you should be able to use it to take care of your personal needs and ease your own burden off him.

I'm glad my dad lead me in the way of financial freedom and my ex emphasized on it. And finally how God breath on it and took me to where I am today.

Darlingme:
Based on my own opinion, a young lady who has no job, skills that is fetching her money should NOT go into marriage with any man.
The general idea you read online about independent / career young ladies been arrogant, ''can't get married'', ''men detest them'', bla bla bla are all lies in reality. So long as you have good character and well behaved, men will be running after you to be your husband even if you are as rich as Dangote. (Who no like better thing?)
The young lady I met in the hospital yesterday, beaten up by her husband, truamatized and at the point of death, got me really mad and I feel like using a microphone to ask this question.
I pray she survive it.

My question is this?

Why do women goes into marriage without having any source of income on their own? Why?
And why do men prefer marrying young and fianancially helpless women, (village girls) then accuse her of not contributing fianancially, especially when fianancial obligations beomes too heavy in the marriage? Why?
What is your opinion on this?

1kinggy:
My own is simple, every able bodied adult- male, female or "I don't want to disclose"- should have a tangible source of income.

If you agree to start a family, be ready to bear it's attendant responsibilities.