₦airaland Forum

I was a single mom before I meet my husband...I left my first relationship with two boys kids due to domestic violence,..I left immediately I gave birth to the second one that's 8 years ago.....their father insist I come back or I take care of the kids alone ..I refused because its not the 10th times I left and went back but he's not ready to change even his own families have advice I moved on and....

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I don't think it is morally right to so. Their biological father will oppose it vehemently. However, the possibilities could be explored legally.

And if in the future, you are no longer married to their step father nko? would you change their Surname again?

According to religion of Islam and also in most African cultures, children(adopted or not) should be surnamed after their dead or alive biological father.

They are still children now, but may see things differently when they've become adult, so you need to be very careful of a potential blowback in the future. It'll be prudent to let them make that decision themselves when they reach adulthood, until then, its only proper they bare their biological father's surname.

To be fair though, changing their surname is not a decision you should make on their behalf, as they are still kids. Let it be their decision to make when they've become adult. But If you must change their surname, it did be better they use their mother's family name as surname, instead of their step father's. Step fathers come and go too...No matter what you've been thru with their father or how bad he is, they are still his blood, and blood would always be thicker than water.

Don't allow them to change their surname, No matter how useless or irresponsible their father is, he is still their father, their flesh and blood!

So ignore or tell them plain No when they request for change of surname next time. You are their mother, so you decide for them

Except you are also cool with them bearing their stepfather's surname tho

One of the reason why i kick people with my rain boot


Damn... nasty... I’m out of here

Dandal:
And if in the future, you are no longer married to their step father nko? would you change their Surname again?

According to religion of Islam and also in most African cultures, children(adopted or not) should be surnamed after their dead or alive biological father.

They are still children now, but may see things differently when they've become adult, so you need to be very careful of a potential blowback in the future. It'll be prudent to let them make that decision themselves when they reach adulthood, until then, its only proper they bare their biological father's surname.

To be fair though, changing their surname is not a decision you should make on their behalf, as they are still kids. Let it be their decision to make when they've become adult. But If you must change their surname, it did be better they use their mother's family name as surname, instead of their step father's. Step fathers come and go too...No matter what you've been thru with their father or how bad he is, they are still his blood, and blood would always be thicker than water.

It's a none issue. If the step father legally adopts the children then they are his and should bare his surname. Too bad for the biological father