₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
Lol. Very strange.

I believe most of them know the truth but they hate to admit this truth, openly.


I don't think any sane person would conclude that women benefit more in the typical Nigerian marriage setting. Same marriages we see everyday? The way I dey pity some married women ehn, but it's quite understandable why many women would want a marriage anyway.

Women sacrifice time, put their health and lives on the line, go for the lowest and most pitiable jobs just to create time for, more often than not, an unappreciative guy. Many will have to cook for the rest of their lives and no they won't get paid for it. There's so much more. A woman with 3 kids, for example, has practically sacrificed at least 8 years of her life on pregnancy, breastfeeding, nurturing (while also making money o), and throughout these years, the man does nothing but contribute money.

A man will drop 50k for the month and thinks he has done the woman a favour... Ahahaha! The easiest thing to contribute to a marriage is money.

Mariangeles:
Maybe if the man prioritized his own children just like the woman, he wouldn't have time to seek attention, then the woman also will have time for him.
Don't you agree?

It is not only the woman's responsibility to care for the children. It's a lot to handle.

Also, why do most men seek the attention of side chicks instead of giving attention to their children and their wives - their family?
Are most men just attention seekers or they do it to spite their wives?
Most men are known to be jealous of their own children too.

Belafonte:
Everybody can get adequate affection and attention. Smh

Acidosis:
You cannot contribute what you do not have na. By contribution, I am assuming the man has the money.


If I have the option to contribute money OR my cleaning and cooking skills, I def will prefer the former.

kayperry:
you don't just wanna say it, nothing about Money is easy from the making to paying bills, it bemusing sometimes when you see wives, cococandy & co. try equate domestic chores to financing.
In my experience, i have notice it is difficult for women to part with there own money ... they prefer to hear "borrow" buh that word "contribute" bring out the EVE in them.
Not just you mere saying, men will prefer house chores to providing buh when push comes shove on a scale of 10, 8 would stick to being a provider cos thats who we are.

Raalsalghul:
"Money is the easiest thing to contribute in a marriage" yet most marriages fail due to lack of the same thing that is easy to contribute?

That is just outright nonsense, though I'm sure you know that and this is one of those days where you choose to pander to a certain demographic on Nairaland.

cococandy:
It actually is. All you have to do is go to work and have the check deposited in the family account and that’s it.

If that’s all I have to do, I’d be in paradise.
No tending to children, no cooking, no cleaning, no mental load of planning and executing any family wellbeing activities.

Any man that is only providing money better be providing loads of it to outsource many of the other tasks necessary to make a home functional. If he’s only bringing money but expects his partner to bring money too as well as take care of everything else, he’s not pulling his weight and is easily replaceable by a paycheck.
He’s a whole human being and should be enjoyed in other aspects different from his paycheck.

Not to underscore the importance of money in our capitalist society. But that can’t be the sole contribution of anyone in a healthy relationship.

thorpido:
How some men provide money and expect the woman to still provide while overlooking other aspects of running the home does not make sense.

cococandy:
thankful for the ones like you who get it!

cococandy:
Speak for your own ladies in your life not every woman

Raalsalghul:
"Money is the easiest thing to contribute in a marriage" yet most marriages fail due to lack of the same thing that is easy to contribute?

That is just outright nonsense, though I'm sure you know that and this is one of those days where you choose to pander to a certain demographic on Nairaland.

cococandy:
It actually is. All you have to do is go to work and have the check deposited in the family account and that’s it.

If that’s all I have to do, I’d be in paradise.
No tending to children, no cooking, no cleaning, no mental load of planning and executing any family wellbeing activities.

Any man that is only providing money better be providing loads of it to outsource many of the other tasks necessary to make a home functional. If he’s only bringing money but expects his partner to bring money too as well as take care of everything else, he’s not pulling his weight and is easily replaceable by a paycheck.
He’s a whole human being and should be enjoyed in other aspects different from his paycheck.

Not to underscore the importance of money in our capitalist society. But that can’t be the sole contribution of anyone in a healthy relationship.

Acidosis:
Not only marriage. Money is the easiest thing to contribute (for those who have it), in any situation. That statement does not apply to those who do not have it. You can't contribute what you do not have in the first place (whether it is money or cooking skills)

I have been in a community of people who don't like to get their hands dirty. I'm sure you have been in that situation. Sometimes, you want to hold a small party but instead of cooking and cleaning stuff, you simply pay someone or go to a lounge or something.

When you take the statistics of men who prepare their launch at home and comparewith those who pay a catering service, you'll understand the basis of that statement.

Acidosis:
Am I the only man with a different and totally opposing view? Poor Women are the main burden bearers in marriages. When I see some married women, I feel nothing but pity for them. More often than not, I think "these" women will do a lot more for themselves if they weren't married or if they could learn to know their worth.

kayperry:
i didnt even see this, an orange can never roll far from it tree if depositing is easy, getting a job nko? what about staying employed?? to collect salary easy meeting up with cost & standard of living Easy

Funnily, housewives make big deal of house chores when they are the ones doing it buh when same people employ maid .... they trivialize the job and pay maids peanut who is deceivng who, how many wives will allow there husband pay a maid 50k

Mariangeles:
So on point!

When you have money, you'd realize that there are so many things you'd rather pay to get done than do.
For the domestically lazy, money is an escape.

cococandy:
It’s easy compared to being the one who has to do everything else.


You’re right about this part. And I don’t endorse trivializing a role because someone who you feel is beneath you does it.

pocohantas:
When you people stop marrying and dissolve your parents marriage for a start, you let me know. Na that one dey me important.

jornwhite:
keeping the diaspora obsession alive

baby124:
Most of those who down talk marriage are very very gay and for some reason frustrated for it. Instead of accepting themselves, they come online to try to destroy the institution with ideas of masculinity that they probably have no idea of.

Now, advise your gay brothers to focus on their community and it’s problems and leave married women, straight women and straight men alone to get married. The fact of the matter is, YOU cannot give advise on something that you have no desire or experience in.

Now, overwhelmingly we see men trying to be women and insulting women or trying so hard to take away their rights while pretending to be women. It goes on and on.

By the way, I don’t recall ever debating you because if you had anything sensible to say, I will remember your username.

Now, the truth is, if you do not want to marry and you think marriage is so bad and you made the right decision, you will not be online looking for validation or for a following of men to be unmarried with. What are you scared of if you are so comfortable with Bachelorhood like you will want to have us believe? Or are you just not content with your lifestyle, frustrated and angry cause you want these straight men WHO DONT WANT YOU?

Why do you detest a TRADITIONAL marriage? Did your parents have one? Did you ever see an example of a good one in your entire life that you speak so boldly? Will your sexuality let you survive in one that you are so jealous of?

DontBullshitMe:
Makes Sense.

But I think if you desire a child or children, it makes sense to be married.

Belafonte:
Brothers, this is a bit long, but it's valuable nonetheless. Do yourself a favour and read to the end