₦airaland Forum

Elucidate321:
Yes, indeed not many couples. And that is because most couples are together on the wrong foundation. We are in naija. We know the many things that make men and women seek to get married. But as long as those reasons are dishonest, selfish, callous or a means to escape one thing or the other, they will fall into the category of couples you are referring to. But believe me, marriage, true honest loving marriage, with mutual respect and learnt understanding, is a beautiful experience, despite any challenge that comes. I know. Before we met, I and my wife were mostly depressed individuals. But individually, we were disciplined enough not to rush into marriage for any reason apart from what was true to our inner selves. Then we met, and you can say we married late in our lives. But immediately, because our connection was true, we built each other up and brought out the inner joy and peace in us. Even our individual finances started improving drastically. There is no force more powerful than a couple agreeing on any matter in this life. But... everyone with their priorities and choices.

Am learning sir

Because you do not conform to the traditional ways of doing things does not make you abnormal. Just different
There are many people here and abroad who have mental health issues albeit misdiagnosed. Live full lives with husband/wife n kids.
There are tons of women - who have had children and dumped them by the side of the road - that is not normal, something snapped in them and made them abandon their children.

You can do the following
- Adopt a child or two. Be mindful of their ages. Too old and the kids are set in their ways with bad habits . Too young and you will have to deal with the usual baby stuff as a single parent but at least you will have a child to call your own and who will take care of you in your old age.

- Be a great aunt to your nieces and nephews - You don't have to deal with the kids coming home with you but you will grow old alone.

- There are tons of men abroad who don't want kids - They believe the world is over populated as is and would even gladly undergo a vasectomy so that they can beautiful sex with you without bringing kids into the world. ( Now, no vasectomy is 100%) so it could happen that you could get pregnant but I am sure you know what to do.

- Find that person who wants to travel the world and enjoy the sights and sounds with you. And wants you to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up and last thing he sees when he smiles and closes his eyes to sleep.

Why adopting,while you can spread your legs, if you like you can adopt me

take care of yourself first. when you are financially, physically and mentally stable, you can take care of others

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Start Olosho business. I heard it is highly profitable...

Na graveyard yu dey te te dey go so oooo.
madam, change yur mnd oooo. na so depression dey take start.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

You need counseling
You may latter regret it.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

depression and anxiety means u still hv ur right senses,talk of schizophrenia n other erratic behViour,that!u should be scared of.....seems u have the cash,seek mental health experts,its curable

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have
Please advise.

I have one oyibo colleague that has no intention of birthing kids too. She is one of the nicest people I worked with. She has been married for a little over a decade with her husband and a cat.

You won't be the 1st nor the last only that it's not that common a choice in Nigeria. Whatever you choose, please fulfill your God given destiny on earth whether you end up with a husband or child. God bless you

deltateam:
Do you often have "vawulence spells"? Like stabbing the man beside you in bed?

Haha @ "wawulence" spells.

You fear ?

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Pls Don't get married and don't have kids. We are currently battling with the effect of population explosion in Nigeria. There are no jobs for the youths because of over population. We need more people like you to stop reproducing and cut down our population.

franklingud:
One question

Where did you take life from?

Man or woman?

What do you mean by your question?
And, you've not answered my question

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Perfect for me if you are interested in marriage but not kids.
I love and appreciate personality like myself.
Don't expect people to understand you it's normal because they are of the Broadway generic but we are the narrow path unique genius.

Gentlerespect76:
This decision is self destructive.

Is it your decision are you in her shoe or living her life.

[quote author=Stacyomolola post=112893862]If u want to or do not want to get married....that's yr decision to make
But pls endeavour to multiply[/quote]

@ bold is devilish and demonic.

Abba114:
its because you depressed thats why u think like that, u will come back to your senses

Who told she is out of her senses
Pls make commitment towards her first before you can utter such word.

U DATE FOR SEX.. INTERESTING. BUT U LADIES MAKE IT SEEM AS IF GUYS ARE WICKED FOR DATING A WOMAN FOR SEX.. MTCEEEWW

Good for you

That’s cool as long as u will not go and be fuxckin oda peoples husbands

Carcholce:
Why not start from a mental home first. Take care of the problem.

A lot of Nigerian women have mental problem but they call it “mood swings”

LOL

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Hi dear. Good evening.

Hmmm... I've just read your post. Thank you very much for opening up to us.
Dear please can you call me I'll like to talk to you. I wish Nairaland has a private message. Please send me a text or whatsapp me. Please dear. Since you're bold enough to lay your complaint, I will try my best to bring you out of this. It might take a week or a month or a couple of months but I have a therapy for you.

Please don't read this comment and ignore. Here's my number. Please whatsapp me ok ? Please 0*8*1*0*0*5*5*3*5*4*7

phemmyfour:
At your old age , you will be seriously lonely. The first reason for marriage is COMPANIONSHIP.... loneliness kills

And so married people are lonely. The ones in my compound are perfect example, especially the wives then their husbands are busy with side chick in the name of traveling.

Marriage doesn't gurantee happiness or companionship except one is fortunate to meet a godly and discipline spouse which is very rare these days.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

Hi, just start praising God 24/7, your mental issues and anxiety will disappear for ever.
Start simply by saying these for a beginner: " I Praise you Lord, Thank you Jesus, Hallelujah, Glory be God". 24/7

Your life will never remain the same.

Klass99:
Toh! But we grow up and keep making the same mistake and repeating the cycle.

For me, my wife comes before the kids. I don't about her though

Oilwell:
Hi, just start praising God 24/7, your mental issues and anxiety will disappear for ever.
Start simply by saying these for a beginner: " I Praise you Lord, Thank you Jesus, Hallelujah, Glory be God". 24/7

Your life will never remain the same.

24/7! That's extreme! Another sign of mental breakdown on its own. Lol

Idonweak:
I suffer similar fate with mental illness. Mine is bdp and depression. I also determined not to have children and if at all i must have a child. My wife must be psychologically and emotionally stable.

Please make sure you Inform your future wife before marriage. No go put person for punishment.

iamL:
And so married people are lonely. The ones in my compound are perfect example, especially the wives then their husbands are busy with side chick in the name of traveling.

Marriage doesn't gurantee happiness or companionship except one is fortunate to meet a godly and discipline spouse which is very rare these days.

A typically excuse to back your decision. Why not give examples of a working marriage. For every one not working, there are thousands that are working.

Never knew someone else feels same way I feel. My most fear in life is marriage. I have into a few relationships and my ladies do love me head over heels cos I can go any length to make sure u re fine, but once u re too available, I desire for an out. I will begin to feel being left alone. Forever relationship isn't my thing. My exes still want me badly and we still share romantic times but nothing serious.
I love kids too but can't stand the thought of marriage.
Note am comfortable and can takw care of any lady with me.
I still believe things can change though.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

O lagbara O, this na serious situation, na so the mental dey worry you reach?

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

If you have the money, why not try therapy. The truth is most of us need therapy. Don't make a decision set in stone until you give this one step a shot. I would be doing the same soon, hopefully. The fact that you are considerate of your unborn kids itself says you really want to be good at it and I think that's a testament to your good nature. We move , yeah? Theraphy.

You don't bring a child into this world to escape your loneliness. You have children because you want to share the joys of your life with them

Please work on your mental health issues first before having children

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids.

I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.

I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.

I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.

I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.

If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves.

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.

But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.

Please advise.

rainlover:
From who, and from what exactly??

saying that you won't get married is not ordinary, that's why I said that.