Good day nairalanders. I want to seek your advice on behalf of my uncle.

Pardon me for any typographical errors. My uncle has been married to this lady for almost 16 years. They have two kids. According to his narration, the first five years of marriage was wonderful.

But things took a sudden twist later on. The wife has changed in both attitude and manners. The man is a civil servant and earns 70k monthly and his wife is a teacher. She earns 35k monthly.

The twist is, the wife has stopped supporting the man financially. In fact, anything she buys for the family or for the children, she asks for the money, even as little as spice cubes. My uncle had to report the matter to my father, his brother, after several years of enduring her strange attitude. My father called her to table the matter. She admitted the accusations. In her defence, she said it is the responsibility of the man (husband) to provide for the family. what broke my uncle's heart was the day the rent of their house was due, he hadnt pieced together the rent and was going about to seek loans from friends and family. He asked her if she knew who to loan from and she said she didn't know who to loan from. To his dismay, he got wind from a friend that his wife was looking for a piece of land to buy with God knows how and where she got the money from. She even told him she doesn't have a dime to add to whatever he's able to raise. He does everything in the house from A to Z.

He needs advice on what to do. Should he file for divorce and hope things would get Rosy enough to start afresh with someone else? Or should he call for a meeting with her family and our family to try to mediate and make her see reasons why she should be supportive?

Matured advice please.

what yeye advice is he looking for now? if the animal he calls "wife" has been acting like that for the past 16yrs and he didnt think of correcting it before, then why try to change it now?!?!?

If she changed five years into the marriage, then you should find out why. An action from your uncle could have triggered the reaction.

He should pray that God should touch his wife.He should make sure he fasts fervently and midnight prayers should be adopted till the wife changes.

Why all these stupid mentality in women.l thought that marriage is a union involving the both husband, Wife, children etc. So why must women be making all the family expenses to be on the man alone while they are working too.What are they even using their own money for, knowing fully well that the family is not for the man only. Well it's how you make your bed that's how you will lie on it.No Woman on earth will dare try such to me unless she wants to go back to her people, if not I will stop her from working and make her full house wife or she will face the wrath of the Gods. please guys never use soft hand on women if not they will ride you and when you try to correct them big issues will surface just as the one above. Never Allow daughters of eve to have control over .

ReneJay:
Good day nairalanders. I want to seek your advice on behalf of my uncle. Pardon me for any typographical errors. My uncle has been married to this lady for almost 16 years. They have two kids. According to his narration, the first five years of marriage was wonderful. But things took a sudden twist later on. The wife has changed in both attitude and manners. The man is a civil servant and earn 70k monthly and his wife is a teacher. She earns 35k monthly. The twist is, the wife has stopped supporting the man financially. In fact, anything she buys for the family or for the children, she asks for the money, even as little as spice cubes. My uncle had to report the matter to my father, his brother, after several years of enduring her strange attitude. My father called her to table the matter. She admitted the accusations. In her defence, she said it is the responsibility of the man (husband) to provide for the family. what broke my uncle's heart was the day the rent of their house was due, he hadnt pieced together the rent and was going about to seek loans from friends and family. He asked her if she knew who to loan from and she said she didn't know who to loan from. To his dismay, he got wind from a friend that his wife was looking for a piece of land to buy with God knows how and where she got the money from. She even told him she doesn't have a dime to add to whatever he's able to raise. He does everything in the house from A to Z.

He needs advice on what to do. Should he file for divorce and hope things would get Rosy enough to start afresh with someone else? Or should he call for a meeting with her family and our family to try to mediate and make her see reasons why she should be supportive. Matured advice please.

How many kids does your uncle have if I may ask?

Is like you did not read the Post before asking your question Go back and check the post well

Raalsalghul:


How many kids does your uncle have if I may ask?

My dear beloved OP....

I'm surprised that you're surprised at the behavior of your uncle's wife ... Honestly i'm shocked at your shock towards her behavior ....

Because as far as I can tell, this is the ideology that wayyyy over 99.9% of women have. You'll hear women saying "my money is my money and his money is also my money", so it's nothing new ...

If I were in your uncle's shoes, I would separate from her the moment she changed, I wouldn't even condone this rubbish for a second longer ....

I would totally neglect her and focus on my kids, and this would continue until she comes to her senses and realize that the burdens of the family is not meant to be shouldered by the man alone ....

Thanks for the advice

I would totally neglect her and focus on my kids, and this would continue until she comes to her senses and realize that the burdens of the family is not meant to be shouldered by the man alone ....[/quote]
Thank you

Raalsalghul:


How many kids does your uncle have if I may ask?

Read again

faithfull18:
If she changed five years into the marriage, then you should find out why. An action from your uncle could have triggered a reaction.

This is a good one...thank you

Emma2Seconds:
Is like you did not read the Post before asking your question Go back and check the post well

Oops my bad.

faithfull18:
If she changed five years into the marriage, then you should find out why. An action from your uncle could have triggered the reaction.

Every fucking time .. Una dey find way to defend stupidity....

The op is a gal......it is very surprising.


She is exhibiting this same attitude toward her boyfriend and will most likely behave like her uncle's wife when she get married...


Then why is she concern ?

1) Maybe because it is her beloved uncle that is at the receiving end.

2)Maybe she is worried because the uncle's wife is doing it before she starts her own.....(women don't like competition)... especially with someone ahead

3) Maybe because her uncle's wife is doing her own with a reckless abandon (she even admitted it)

---

Men should understand that they're on there own in marriage

No women takes responsibilities in marriage except when there is an avenue to tell/show the world they are doing it.

Know this, know peace!
Marriage is never a partnership.....it is Husband and a wife arrangement

Hope your uncle also help the wife too? Because some men are usually fond of saying some responsibilities are purely for the women forgetting they also have responsibilities that are purely for a man too. Which they usually want the woman to help.
They are suppose to be helpmate, if the man is the type that can't help the woman then let him gladly carry his cross. But if he's not, let them get a marriage counselor.

Marriage is forever atleast that's what he signed for. So divorce is not an option
Let him just double his hustle and continue to take responsibility of d house. The mistake was asking his wife to contribute, which is qiute difficult, he would have just continue running the home within his income, if its a sensible wife she would know what to do

Nah The Same Species, I thought that the Op Is a Guy Reporting The Did Without Knowing That they are the same daughters Of EVE. Sorry Sister Your Own Time Is Coming For You To Start Your Own Stupidity Because It's Always In Una (women) Blood. No verse For The Write up, I come in peace ok

kazyhm:
The op is a gal......it is very surprising.


She is exhibiting this same attitude toward her boyfriend and will most likely behave like her uncle's wife when she get married...


Then why is she concern ?

1) Maybe because it is her beloved uncle that is at the receiving end.

2)Maybe she is worried because the uncle's wife is doing it before she starts her own.....(women don't like competition)... especially with someone ahead

3) Maybe because her uncle's wife is doing her own with a reckless abandon (she even admitted it)

---

Men should understand that they're on there own in marriage

No women takes responsibilities in marriage except when there an avenue to tell/show the world they are doing it.

Know this, know peace!

Oh please stfu! If you have no meaningful contribution, just keep scrolling.

1F30M4:


Oh please stfu! If you have no meaningful contribution, just keep scrolling.

You're not the op....why are you so worked up.....the submission touched you somewhere, somehow ?

Emma2Seconds:
Nah The Same Species, I thought that the Op Is a Guy Reporting The Did Without Knowing That they are the same daughters Of EVE. Sorry Sister Your Own Time Is Coming For You To Start Your Own Stupidity Because It's Always In Una (women) Blood. No verse For The Write up, I come in peace ok

Lol

Ya every woman possess it, with time your own go show so leave that young lady alone to enjoy her own time/turn Now.

ReneJay:




Lol

ReneJay:
He asked her if she knew who to loan from and she said she didn't know who to loan from. To his dismay, he got wind from a friend that his wife was looking for a piece of land to buy with God knows how and where she got the money from. She even told him she doesn't have a dime to add to whatever he's able to raise. He does everything in the house from A to Z.

He needs advice on what to do. Should he file for divorce and hope things would get Rosy enough to start afresh with someone else? Or should he call for a meeting with her family and our family to try to mediate and make her see reasons why she should be supportive. Matured advice please.

Why does the news that his wife is looking to purchase a piece cause your uncle dismay? No be for her kids future she dey set aside this nest egg? Abi, would your uncle rather it all be squandered with nothing left for their future?

Though communication don seem to evaporate for the marriage, is there is any other reason for why his wife would want to purchase such land that your uncle is not telling you?

Purchasing Land While Their Quit Notice From Their Land LORD IS Around the corner. The Happiness of the Family Don Shatter Do to non support from daughter of EVE called Wife. So reason well ok

Kobojunkie:
Why does the news that his wife is looking to purchase a piece cause your uncle dismay? No be for her kids future she dey set aside this nest egg? Abi, would your uncle rather it all be squandered with nothing left for their future?

Though communication don seem to evaporate for the marriage, is there is any other reason for why his wife would want to purchase such land that your uncle is not telling you?

Emma2Seconds:
Purchasing Land While Their Quit Notice From Their Land LORD IS Around the corner. The Happiness of the Family Don Shatter Do to non support from daughter of EVE called Wife. So reason well ok

Try to be less emotional in your assessment of these issues and may be you will be better able to see beyond your hatred.

We don't know the exact reason for why this woman has chosen to withhold what she has so she can instead have it available for future(as we assume here). Neither did her husband reveal this reason for us. So it is rash to conclude she is being wicked simply on the comment of the man's relative here.

Ensure that the kids as young as they might be are well aware of who is making all the provisions for them. Take them with you when you pay their school fees, when you buy shoes and clothes and such for them. After the groceries for food at home each person should hold his or her own side

Village is calling the both of them . House Rent Don Expire. Family Joy First ok. How can you marry and your working wife will leave the family burden all for you who does that and where is her own money going. If she can't support the family why is she working in the first place. Daughters Of EVE Are Very Heartless but it's for those who allows all sort of shit in the name of .......

Kobojunkie:
Try to be less emotional in your assessment of these issues and may be you will be better able to see beyond your hatred.

We don't know the exact reason for why this woman has chosen to withhold what she has so she can instead have it available for future(as we assume here). Neither did her husband reveal this reason for us. So it is rash to conclude she is being wicked simply on the comment of the man's relative here.

Emma2Seconds:
Village is calling the both of them . House Rent Don Expire. Family Joy First ok. How can you marry and your working wife will leave the family burden all for you who does that and where is her own money going. If she can't support the family why is she working in the first place. Daughters Of EVE Are Very Heartless but it's for those who allows all sort of shit in the name of .......

From the story told by OP, family joy left that family more than a decade ago. The family entered into survival mode of sorts where the husband seemed to be the one with focus on present whereas the wife began paying more attention to the future it seems.

Again, we don't know enough of the background details to details the OP'S uncle a Saint or his wife a demon in this..

This doesn't warrant divorce
They should work things out