Janosky:

My condolences,bro.
You are yet to recover from the shock and pain at the moment.
Please take heart, allow time to heal your painful loss.
Confide in an empathetic friend/confidant whom you trust and is a good listener.

Time heals.
Please look for "When someone you love dies" (JW)."
The points there in would help you a great deal..

Shalom.

Are you a witness

Always imagine her in heaven, asking angels to protect you always and direct your steps.
You have two parents now in heaven-God the father and your beloved mom.

Take heart, the pain will never completely heal but you will get by. Stay strong.

This topic has really touched me. I also lost my mum last year due to diabetes complications. Her leg was amputated. It is a long story but I won’t go into that. Every minute of the day, I mean “every minute “, I think of her departure. It is still unbelievable in my mind how that could happen. I lost my dad in 2017 also due to diabetes complications. We all did not understand how bad diabetes could be and the doctors didn’t make us understand the severity of the disease. I am the first son, she died in my arms. I took her to some of the best hospitals in Portharcourt yet she died. It was actually the day she died that one of the doctors made me understand how bad the situation was and by then she was already in coma. So countless number of times in a day I try to think what we did wrong, what we should have done the other way. I concluded that the amputation was actually a no no. I took her to the hospital today and the amputation was done the next day, no observation or any form of treatment. After just three weeks, she died. I don’t know how to erase the regrets from my mind. The most painful part is that she died just when life was becoming rosy for us her children. All along, she had been managing life while we were hustling. Just when the breakthrough came forth, she left.I pray that God gives me the grace to forget about her death.

And yet one idiot somewhere had the nerve and effrontery to create a thread to call his mother a harlot.

One can feel the waves of pain flowing off the OP. I cannot relate with the theme and my worst fear is the loss of a loved one, but I know it is inevitable, which is why I strive to cherish every waking moment I have with them. I won't think of the future; just the present, and that is enough for me.

Im so sorry for your loss. May God gives you the fortitude to bear the loss.

To other people reading this , Pls take care of your parents whilst they’re alive ..

This is why I hate to belong to the living if there is another chance to be on this planet earth again.

solasoulmusic:



My thoughts and prayers with your family when your mums leg started swelling that is a huge sign of fluid retention I noticed my mum was limping and gave her a massage she didn’t like how hard my hand was around the area but that’s the only way to spread the fluid back.

Please let’s also encourage our mothers to take walks or keep their feet propped up when sitting for long hours at the shop and also massage their hands it’s because in retirement they hardly move or sit for a long time so water flows down to the feet and stays there if there’s any member of your family with the same please tell them being active helps


When I was young they use to call me waka waka lol but now na lifesaver o

so fluid retention in the legs is detrimental?

michlins:
Everything you feel right now is normal. After my uncle and younger sister died within the space of three months, I gave up on life.

Any day I wake up, I do my bit and don't bother myself about stuff.

Life is truly vanity

My Goodness, this really a though one to handle, sorry about this experience

May God grant her soul ethernal rest and grant you the fortitude to bear the loss.

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

Nothing prepares u for this. You still smell her in your arms . Her favourite wrapper will make you feel warm because it smells like her.

Time doesn't reduce the pain , you just learn to cope as the years pass. And occasionally when you remember her you will feel short of breath and choke but with time it hurts less and less. Not because you forget but because you learn to cope.

Let thw tears flow, no one can understand the journey you and she walked so all their words and meaningless.

With time you will take her pictures and put them in a carton, with time you will pack up her things , with time you will pack up all her clothes .

One month is still too fresh so all this is expected. All those telling you to grow up or man up are stupid . They don't know anything. I feel your pain my bro, you can always reach out if you want to talk .

You will not be able to delete her number from your phone , in fact you will probably keep her phone with you . Anything that makes it seem like it might erase her memory now will be your worst enemy it's only natural.

Don't worry bro, it will hurt less. the hardest part is when those who don't know call her number and you have to pick it up and tell them
So better switch off the phone for now..

I am here for you bro . One DM away

Take care of you

Fearme344:
related to your family

don't let me deal with you oh

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

I understand how it feels bro.

I also lost my immediate younger sis last year and it was too heavy for me to bear. With time you will get over it.

Kindly take heart bro.

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

My condolence man!

You have to brace up to embrace the good things ahead...Your mom has ran her race, and has gone to rest...You are running your own race...As long as We are alive, we owe death.

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

You will be alright...
I thought i would die when my mom died in my hand also..

11 years down... Is still always look like yesterday

I lost my little brother 17years ago at idiaraba
I could hear him cry Mummy let's go home
We didn't know he was poisoned
Until he vomited blood and passed on
That was a painful, tragic experience for me
I feel like going to heaven to tell my brother Emma I am sorry

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

exactly how I felt when I lost my Dad. I was in my final year 500L. I thought of ending my life. Whenever I walk by the road side I felt I should jump into the road and let a car run me over. Nothing mattered to me again. I still cry whenever those memories come flashing back after 10 years but I am better now. You too will get better with time. May God console you and your family

MaskSubzero:
so fluid retention in the legs is detrimental?

Yes it can be uncomfortable, hard to wear slippers or even shoes and standing for long periods for those affected. As for me a padlock fell on my foot and created a huge bump that was fluid it’s like bone now my bone has grown through it

MaskSubzero:
don't let me deal with you oh

if u be gal. I like doggy style dealing i be respite

This is one of the reasons I chose not to be emotionally too close to any of my parents. I've got my life to live, they've got theirs.

Op honestly, I don't know what to tell you o

It is not and would never be the same especially when you loose a loved one like this but one thing that would forever remain unchanged is that we are mere mortals that are here on transit .This reminds me of the life and times of my late Father. It is going to 3years now but everything about him still plays out very clear in my mind . The Holy spirit is still doing His works in me but sometimes I cry out those pains. I console myself that He lived a good life while training us all so well. We may not have given him all he desired but he was happy that none of us turned otherwise . Death is really strong!!! We have to live with the fact that we would all go someday. Let us cherish whatever we have today because me may not see it tomorrow. Life is timed and scripted. Take heart and may you be consoled.

So sorry dearie she's now in a better place no sickness no sorrow ☺ there also she's an angel now � watching over you and everyone she left behind and she's not happy how you feel so be prayerful encourage yourself as if she's still alive make her spirit proud. You have sorrow enough so move move move� you have so much to achieve you won't by grieving that can only cause you to be sick. God bless you as you took good care of her you will find favour and breakthrough just watch am talking from experience!

MaskSubzero:
brazing up in advance, the pain gets worse if you live with them all your life and get so close and bond with them.

My brother. I speak with them almost everyday. The older they get, the more I care for them. I’m so terrified of a world where I would never hear their voices again or be able to visit them at will. But it’s going to happen whether I like it or not.

I’m a competent person at work, so it’s very frustrating when I’m faced with the reality and finality of death. Cos this is a reality I’m totally powerless against.

But from the moment we are born, we are on a countdown to the the day we die. I try to show them as much love as I can when I can. It’s the best I can do.

It’s not easy at all.

Endeavour to see a professional counsellor and therapist. This will help you a lot and faster. This is not the time to start seeing pastors or any religious leaders. Mental health is increasingly difficult. Take it serious lest it lead to depression.

Am really so sorry my brother. The Lord is your strength. Though it's not easy to forget easily but just try and take heart. May God almighty heal the wound in you and see you through my brother. You are bless

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

God. I also lost my mum 7 years ago, I remember I'd call her to appear before me... And I will always see her in my dreams that night. Then one day, I did the same and she came and told me to allow her rest... I was so moved and stopped.

Op, believe me, mourn her and move on if you want her to be happy. She's resting and she wouldn't want to see you in the state you are. May God comfort you.

It isn't easy

It amuse me when we cry over a lost soul, despite the inevitability of death on us all. And with the fact that someone will be pained and cry over our departure one day.

The feelings is always mutual as a mortal, we all share this pain once our loved ones dies. My own dad died in my hands almost a couple of years now, my tears splashing out immediately but they were all gone after he was buried. Haven't being feeling it ever since, but I know a day will come I would be having a joyous event that warrant having a dad on sir, I might probably have some kind of pain on that day.

I don't even understand much of this life, the more you think or try to rationalize it, the more it become more difficult to solve.

We have no control over anything, not even your own soul, least talk of other person's or things.

When the time comes, hopefully one would have fulfil a life ambition and move on.....

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

Take heart my dear. Losing a family member is painful, but to be the one in whose arms the person departed this earth from could be excruciating, I have been down the path few years ago and I can tell you nothing is more agonizing than that experience. The drama of the passing keeps playing in your mind all over again and again. In my case I had to use sleeping pills to induce sleep after two days of no sleep. May God console you.

The same idealogy. You'll get over it

AfroKnight:


My brother. I speak with them almost everyday. The older they get, the more I care for them. I’m so terrified of a world where I would never hear their voices again or be able to visit them at will. But it’s going to happen whether I like it or not.

I’m a competent person at work, so it’s very frustrating when I’m faced with the reality and finality of death. Cos this is a reality I’m totally powerless against.

But from the moment we are born, we are on a countdown to the the day we die. I try to show them as much love as I can when I can. It’s the best I can do.

It’s not easy at all.

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

I am so sorry for your loss bro. I don’t put myself in your shoes to know the pains going through your heart but one thing I will remind you is that your beautiful and late mom will want you to live and excel in life. Be strong for your father, be strong for your siblings if you have any and most especially be strong for yourself. Get yourself busy, go on dates and if you have a girlfriend, spend lots of time with her. Call your Dad everyday to check on him, trust me! This is very important. Lastly you are going to be alright

It will pass, I believe. So sorry for your loss.

Always wonder what it'll feel like losing mine too (she's the only one I share a close bond with in the family). Last born, like you.

Pele.

dboY1123:
It is a month already that my mom died in my hands.. I am really depressed!! I have been seeing life as nothing and vanity, I can't get over her, memories with her kept coming back really hard I tried to keep myself busy by watching movies, playing games and so on..But that doesn't stop my mind from remembering her.

These days, nothing bothers me again, not even life or death, I still have a father but it doesn't change things..

There was a time I went to school (my ppa), my proprietor was trying to pacify me by talking about when he lost his wife back then and everything, I started feeling uneasy and extremely tired..it wasn't stress at all my stomach started aching and I felt like vomiting or even passing out..he noticed it and I quickly left his presence and I went back home to shower and rest..

Please how can I get over my mom, I'm so obsessed with her and her memories kept coming in my head that every time I felt I could have done something to rescue her despite everything I did, taking her to state hospitals and even private.. I am the last born and I am about 29years..I have elder ones like 45(first born) but I took so much responsibilities when she was sick and I was only the one she could call everytime she's depressed due to memory loss..I later found out her sickness was related to heart failure and it was congestive heart failure she was going through.. All those times we thought she had nocturnal asthma like early last year..

It was only last month we knew that it was cardiomyopathy or cardiomegaly heart related.. The general hospitals we took her too didn't say anything like that, one of them only said her liver seemed bigger than the normal one..And we thought it was edema cz her legs were swollen.. So, it was heart related disease and it led to cardiac arrest or heart attack cz she just vomited and stopped breathing all of a sudden..

Did she have diabetes too?


Sorry for your loss man.

I suggest you write her a really long letter pouring out everything in your heart to her. Then fold it up and put it away. That's the only thing that can come to my mind right now.

It's not easy and I'm not saying you will get over her immediately but you will eventually.

You can visit your siblings also. They are the closest to your mom you can get right now at this moment.

Again, sorry for your loss. Take heart.

I found myself in a similar position after my mom passed in 2002. I was just 20 and the only surviving son of my single-parent Mom. Yet I bounced back from Mom's death and became an even stronger person by turning the unfortunate incident into a source of motivation and a reason to succeed. I did this by asking myself how my Mom would feel where she was (Heaven?) if she saw me sad, dejected or even in tears. I was able to convince myself that the only way I could keep her happy where she was, would be by keeping myself happy and making a success out of life.

This has worked wonders for me and is still doing so 20-years after she passed on. I always tell myself, I was blessed to have a caring mother for 20-years of my life and would only celebrate her life, however short, (She died aged 47) for all the sacrifices she made for me and so many others who benefited from her kind nature.

Another important factor was the advice I got from one of her ex-colleagues and friend, who told to get married and start a family early as that would ensure I had loved ones around me and reduce the loneliness I felt at the time. I met my wife 4-years later and today I have two daughters (14 and 10), the first of whom I named after my mom. My wife and daughters have also helped fill the void my mum left to a great extent.

Let me also add that my relationship with God has helped a great deal and above all that I mentioned here, it has proved to be the most decisive factor in securing the Joy that I now enjoy.

May God grant you the fortitude to bear this loss and just like He did for me and give you reason(s) to keep on living.