₦airaland Forum

The long distance and the kind of person your wife is the problem. Like you said she still has feelings and the long distance made the situation worse. I think at this moment you guys are husband and wife on paper. The relationship between you both is not strong. First get her to stay with you. Bring your wife to your house and let her live. Bond together, give her hot sex, take her out, make her happy. The Doctor friend is the one doing that am afraid.

Arkhanmu:
Appreciate

This is very wrong on her part


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Kobojunkie:
1. Is there daughter not old enough to make her own decisions and face said consequences of her own?.

2. What does help mean in this case and why does reporting her to her parents imply this??

1. She is old enough to decide but her decision (indecision) is hurting another. Cheating in marriage you voluntarily entered into does not seems to portray her as mature; she does not know what she wants.
2. Help here means one who she will listen to that will help the family be together as one. He obviously had made effort which is not yeilding good result

burritto:
That woman will frustrate the sh!t outta you.

I don’t understand how you still went ahead to marry a woman like that even though you saw all the signs.

Anyways you were manipulated and you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting. Your cup of tea anyways.

Hopefully in the next ten years, you’ll become a philosopher, replying questions with philosophical answers.

You might even start speaking in parables soon (If u go to sleep with an itching anus, u are sure to wake up with smelly fingers)

Next time get sense, that’s if there’ll be any next time.

He may have followed the advise of some folks here who said the reason why his then fiance was still in contact with the ex was because he has not wifed her!
That once she is married,she will stop seeing the ex and the ex will instantly disappear

My girlfriend used to talk with her ex all the time and she has met him at an eatery once. I told her that I don't like her communication with her ex she said 'it's nothing, that he is now a harmless friend.'

I invited my ex FWB and I posted my picture with her in my apartment. My girlfriend saw it and was furious.

I told her that the girl is in a relationship and she told her boyfriend that I am just a harmless friend too but we fockin.

She was now very mad at me. So I told her why would she be mad if she was also fucking her ex. She said she wasn't and I said how will I know if they aren't if they are still in communication.

She swore, even called the ex and told him they won't be talking again. She blocked his number and begged me for not listening earlier and made me promise her I won't be fockin any other ex.

The bottomline is, anything a girl does, do it twice. She will either learn or leave you. Either way, it's a win-win

stickle:
1. She is old enough to decide but her decision (indecision) is hurting another. Cheating in marriage you voluntarily entered into does not seems to portray her as mature; she does not know what she wants.
2. Help here means one who she will listen to that will help the family be together as one. He obviously had made effort which is not yeilding good result

1. Wait.. what?

Are you insinuating she doesn't know what she wants and so her parents should be brought in to decide for her? Do you see her as some sort of imbe_cile?

2. Why is helping the family be together as one the defacto help she needs though?

burritto:
That woman will frustrate the sh!t outta you.

I don’t understand how you still went ahead to marry a woman like that even though you saw all the signs.

Anyways you were manipulated and you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting. Your cup of tea anyways.

Hopefully in the next ten years, you’ll become a philosopher, replying questions with philosophical answers.

You might even start speaking in parables soon (If u go to sleep with an itching anus, u are sure to wake up with smelly fingers)

Next time get sense, that’s if there’ll be any next time.

He may have followed the advise of some folks here who said the reason why his then fiance was still in contact with the ex was because he had not wifed her!
That once she is married,she will stop seeing the ex and the ex will instantly disappear

Let her sister or her mother warn her that's not how a married woman behaves. The man may not have anything to do with her but your wife is not contented with what both of you have�

Elporo:
Sorry to interject. I know it's rude.

How can you claim or believe marriage is between two people! Are husband and wife deities? Are they not born of man and woman? Was a bride price not paid, and marital including conjugal rites performed in line with cultural norms and practices.

So, how is a marriage - a merger between two families. Sometimes, ethnicities or nations, be referred to with an insignificant and futile description, such as "union between two people". Are the offspring not called Grandchildren and so on? Do, they not carry the names of their forebears?

This same shameless woman has two children for the poor man, whose life span is reduced by 12%. 8% by his union with her and 4% by her lack of insight, pride, and nostalgia for doing dirty things like a low life.

The issues you raised are valid but I guess the right answer may be rooted in our believe (faith). My faith says they (husband and wife) will come together and become one and that no third party should put assunder.
Matthew 19:5 And said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? [Gen. 1:27; 2:24.]
Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).

bukatyne:
I am honestly yet to understand what gives people hope that the bad things they saw during Due Diligence stage (courting) would disappear after acquisition & mergers (marriage).

It is either you endure/ignore her unfaithfulness, join her by contacting your own ex or leave her.

Good luck in

P.S.: Choosing the 2nd or 3rd choices when you knew she had this thing going with her ex before marriage is making a mockery of your marriage vows.

Longest time Bukky

Most Kaduna ladies are terrible cheats.now it's very clear, long distant relationships never work.those kids may not be yours.Do DNA tests for all your children and try to cut off from this unfaithful wife of yours. She's a silent killer, oga..it's pure insanity, You are a married woman and still demanding for money from your so called ex...when your husband is very much active and providing for you.. I feel your pain, oga.. This thing i hear about kaduna ladies is really true.she's not fit to be a wife..

Southern kaduna women are not only cheap but highly promiscuous.

Maverick777:
its a lady...
I noticed too, she's most likely a low-budget feminist...

Sincerely a low budget feminist

My man be the husband and take charge of your home.. Your wife must never practice or tolerate what is causing you high blood pressure if not send her out fast so she can go and marry her Doctor while you live your life.. This life is too short than to be facing frustration in marriage. Reject that nonsense now.. !

Meklex:
My girlfriend used to talk with her ex all the time and she has met him at an eatery once. I told her that I don't like her communication with her ex she said 'it's nothing, that he is now a harmless friend.'

I invited my ex FWB and I posted my picture with her in my apartment. My girlfriend saw it and was furious.

I told her that the girl is in a relationship and she told her boyfriend that I am just a harmless friend too but we fockin.

She was now very mad at me. So I told her why would she be mad if she was also fucking her ex. She said she wasn't and I said how will I know if they aren't if they are still in communication.

She swore, even called the ex and told him they won't be talking again. She blocked his number and begged me for not listening earlier and made me promise her I won't be fockin any other ex.

The bottomline is, anything a girl does, do it twice. She will either learn or leave you. Either way, it's a win-win

Bro Nawa ooo wetin we wan Dey talk reach eatery girls sha

Long distance relationship is a no no for not talk of marriage we will be seeing 6times a year no matter the love

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

Seing only the topic made me feel disgusted.
It's disrespect on you.
And there is 100% possibility he is seing her in the oza room.
Women have no respect for a man that can't provide their needs.
Simple

openmine:
He may have followed the advise of some folks here who said the reason why his then fiance was still in contact with the ex was because he has not wifed her!
That once she is married,she will stop seeing the ex and the ex will instantly disappear

Never ignore the bad in someone just to keep them in your life.

Las las u don enter am I told u no hear

Act as a man wiseup and more of actions in while dealing with issues like this

awuri4:
You have to confront that ex.. My reason is that women mind are fickle. I remember when I started dating my wife, i asked her if she is on a relationship, she replied that she has broken up with the guy. I knew the guy way back in school they were my junior in the uni l, yet I didn't take any chances. Intact at a point I have to call the to find out real situation of things with my wife then. He assured me that they aren't together again due to some reasons. I told him point blank that I'm taking over and that he should back out.
That was the end of their communications.
I live happily with my wife and my 3 son's.
So you should take the bull by the horn to protect your family. Both morally and legally, you have the right to ask the man the back off. Believe me he will run for his life when he sees your not playing.... Don't be a simp..... Protect your naive wife from danger before the man Bleep hell out of her

You are advising a poor man to go start war with a rich man.
The Op has 2 options:
Quit the marriage
Or
Enjoy the loot with his wife until he can provide for her.

Why the insults??

burritto:
That woman will frustrate the sh!t outta you.

I don’t understand how you still went ahead to marry a woman like that even though you saw all the signs.

Anyways you were manipulated and you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting. Your cup of tea anyways.

Hopefully in the next ten years, you’ll become a philosopher, replying questions with philosophical answers.

You might even start speaking in parables soon (If u go to sleep with an itching anus, u are sure to wake up with smelly fingers)

Next time get sense, that’s if there’ll be any next time.

Why the insults??

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

check the paternity of her kids

Kobojunkie:
1. Wait.. what?

Are you insinuating she doesn't know what she wants and so her parents should be brought in to decide for her? Do you see her as some sort of imbe_cile?

2. Why is helping the family be together as one the defacto help she needs though?

What is your point exactly? That she should be left cheating while living under another's roof.
Or will you have her husband beating her?

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

You are just giving yourself unnecessary headache.

You dont take a woman who is still communicating with her Ex with kids glove, you also dont need to complain at all, just give her a stern warning that the day you ever see her communicate or exchange messages with him is the day you will send her out. Be serious about it with strong face.

After this, i can bet she will do everything to limit their communicates and delete all the messages that always give you heartbreak. Your peace of mind is important than anything else in your life, and whatever you dont see or know wont give you heartbreak. So it better they communicate withiout your knowledge than for you to die of heart attack.

burritto:
That woman will frustrate the sh!t outta you.

I don’t understand how you still went ahead to marry a woman like that even though you saw all the signs.

Anyways you were manipulated and you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting. Your cup of tea anyways.

Hopefully in the next ten years, you’ll become a philosopher, replying questions with philosophical answers.

You might even start speaking in parables soon (If u go to sleep with an itching anus, u are sure to wake up with smelly fingers)

Next time get sense, that’s if there’ll be any next time.

You wrote in a mean manner... You could have advised without being mean and horrible.

Arkhanmu:
I married my wife in Kaduna two years ago. During those period we were dating, we were very much apart due to distance. She stayed in Kaduna while I worked in Lagos.

During few times of my personal meeting before our wedding, I noticed huge communication between her and this man. I called her attention to it but she just waived it aside saying they are just friends as Ex (stuff). She joined me up in Lagos after the marriage but the communication between them still continued.

This is a woman I have sacrificed so much for in my life by providing her basics need with the children even though not huge like that. She told me the Ex is a Doctor and they have nice experience together while dating back then. I have adviced even begged her to stop this communication as it it very hurtful and insulting to my personality but she won't stop. Instead she secretly calls and requests money from this guy in almost different occasions.

At a point in time in the past when she went to Kaduna to get her transfer from work place to Lagos, she still visit the guy even as she is heavily pregnant that time. I was able to get the idea through her bank account statement when the same guy send her money for what business I don't understand. It is almost 2 years of our marriage now, I am starting to regret why I marry her initially even as I noticed much difference between us; she is from Southern Kaduna while am from Ibadan.

I wish I have married my tribe whom I can easily understand. Just yesterday night I see another 4k alert from the same guy to my wife. I am really pained though I have not confront her. See guys, I have 2 boys, twin, I take care of them, buy food and all.

Though my work is not going fine but I try my best to make her happy but it seems she is not built for me. I don't really know what is going on again in my life as I am heartbroken.

Maybe the man is even in Lagos most times self. Many things are just running through my mind.

OP you’re too hard on yourself and too soft on your wife….. my advice for you is to man up.

SIMPle OP. It's not too late to change the situation for good.

It's only the redpill community that can save you now. With God's special help of course.

Try and search for "Dr Ubunja" on this forum. That'll be a good start

heres the simple solution make more money to cater for your wifes needs or just divorce her and hand her over to your ex

tobby94:
Bro Nawa ooo wetin we wan Dey talk reach eatery girls sha

she said he needed closure cos they didn't end the relationship amicably (the guy went off the grid and she moved on, he came back some years later and found her in a relationship). I told her they can end it via whatsapp but she went ahead and met with him and I found out