₦airaland Forum

dawnomike:
I understand how you feel about the whole thing... Forget being a Simp or a Redpiller here. This is matters of the heart.

You have to brace up for what you want... You and your girlfriend should take the bull by the horns by speaking to her parents together.

Since you are kinda close to them already, both of you should sit them down and tell them your minds. They should give you both some breathing space for a while to grow and be more stable.

Love is not all that marriage entails... It is a lifelong commitment

Thanks you

Maxxim:
What is this bayii
This guy is confused abeg

Yes is why I brought up the matter here, I believe you couldn’t read what I wrote, I am ready to marry and I have serious plans of relocating due to some reason ms not just this marriage shit, but the rush is what I am not taking. If you are a hustler and paying your all your bills for over 6years even as a student, you’ll understand my plight

Georgekyrian:
Like now I don’t know what to think!
I always be part of advising people issues here but I don’t always think my personal life will come in stories someday.. so it happens now
I’m a guy in late 20’s, been active in NL for over 9 years, I’m a graduate awaiting NYSC, I have an event ushering business now worth almost a million, but what got my profile high is that right before University years which I graduated in 2021 supposed 2020 due to Covid-19, I had been a die hard hustler starting from main market and school deals that pays me, now I just living average dude with apartment and car in one of the sub urban location here in the country, I have no serious landed property which makes me needed more good investment, the issue now is my relationship life.
I met this my girlfriend in 2019 ending when I relocated into new state outside my state of schooling ( I met her when I was squatting with some family and friends though I rented my own house same end of 2019 because I hate inconveniencing people). We started dating seriously and after some months I took her woman life’s gift when she was purely 18 as I waited because I loved her but I told her fact ‘I cannot continue the relationship with her when she is 18 without having all of her’’, we reached to the agreement that she will give in and remain faithful if I can assure not to hurt her, me already knowing she is a pure good girl, which made me accepting the agreement wholeheartedly, mind you I celebrated her 3 birthday with her with my money and this year birthday we shared the cost by half and was done in my house. My woman is tender but has 2 good skills that pays her averagely daily, though she is the best in her apprentice shop now and due to free but her madam wants her because she is her best (I allowed her still working there is because we are not married and I got no finance to open her own business but in serious plans immediately we get married), but my girl can take any day off for outside job she wants sometimes in my house.
Her parents got to know me last year after I bought phone for her phone as birthday gift, they seized it and demanded I must come to know me, before they issue her back the phone (she has a Christian strict parents and me, I’m pure Christian boy but traditional oriented meaning I like doing Right and no wrong). Me as street carry my men involve after 2days, after introducing myself (not marriage oo) me and the both parents reason and I told them I’m a good friend of their daughter and I want her to use the phone with clean mind and they released it to her.
Since then I have been closer with the family though as pure Igbo boy (with mind of redpiller) always keep my distance. Many times the family will invite me around but I won’t show, last year I gifted her mom a birthday cake why on travel trip, and I didn’t show for that birthday, Mothering Sunday in their church this year, I couldn’t come after the heavy invitation (and that is the present problem... to be continued

I beg anybody way understand this write up should help me interpret it biko

Adejo1:
No matter the advises everyone is given you here, you will still do whatever is in your mind.
There was a time I was traveling inside a public transport, there was a man telling us about how he met his wife.
He said without his wife's knowledge he travelled to her home town just to know the mom's character. According to him, he said whatever character the mom exhibit same as the lady.

Naked truth, but gene comes from both parents not just the mother please consider that. The girl father is my kind of man, so strong and hard working at young age. The mother is not just a bad person but she get characters that easily pisses me off, like she too like prophecy and ministries stuffs, she talks a lot and always want you around but I’m not that kind of person at all

Na only jobless people go read this shit finish

This one go school so

Innobee99:
Na only jobless people go read this shit finish

No smart person reads everyday, the same way I reads on people case here in NL

christianjoy:
This one go school so

No, just need your reasoning as person wey go school mbok

Georgekyrian:
Yes is why I brought up the matter here, I believe you couldn’t read what I wrote, I am ready to marry and I have serious plans of relocating due to some reason ms not just this marriage shit, but the rush is what I am not taking. If you are a hustler and paying your all your bills for over 6years even as a student, you’ll understand my plight

Yeah I did not finish reading it, but whatever your conclusion is make sure you're mentally and financially ready, because these people rushing you won't be there when issues arrises. Hope you know Nigeria's economy is enough to make one perish in poverty.

Sorry for your self then

Georgekyrian:
No, just need your reasoning as person wey go school mbok

Maxxim:
Yeah I did not finish reading it, but whatever your conclusion is make sure you're mentally and financially ready, because these people rushing you won't be there when issues arrises. Hope you know Nigeria's economy is enough to make one perish in poverty.

Yes you are right.. thanks you

christianjoy:
Sorry for your self then

I guess you are a minor that have nothing to offer to the society, you still roaming about the hood playing bet and Baba ijebu
I pay my full taxes as a Nigerian, so when I talk about relationship please hide, the head of agbalagba is not meant for child’s’ play

From the little I read ,if you aren't ready yet and you want to marry the girl ,all you have to do is to propose to her ,give her a ring and calm everyone down oya begin do your normal routine till you are okay and feels like it's time

Christboy320:
From the little I read ,if you aren't ready yet and you want to marry the girl ,all you have to do is to propose to her ,give her a ring and calm everyone down oya begin do your normal routine till you are okay and feels like it's time

Nice! Thanks you, just been my best plan for some moment now

I guess you think so because you don't even know me

Georgekyrian:
I guess you are a minor that have nothing to offer to the society, you still roaming about the hood playing bet and Baba ijebu
I pay my full taxes as a Nigerian, so when I talk about relationship please hide, the head of agbalagba is not meant for child’s’ play

First of all I feel pissed for wasting almost 20mins trying to understand this shit

Secondly you keep saying red piller, confirm boy, this and that, oga you no get level!!!

Jew wey de try reason esef.

You are not ready, don't let anyone force you. From the chat, it's definitely coming from YOUR OWN girl making it seem like it's the family pressuring her to marry. She is behind all these, shebi me sef na woman

Two options you got, let them know plainly that you are not ready or you marry and end up regretting

When people begin to rush or put pressure on you, especially for marriage then you need to think and watch twice

Lastly, NEVER YOU EVER TYPE SUCH A LONG NONSENSE AS THIS

Georgekyrian:
Please I’m not using my girl, I love her so dearie and treat her with absolute respect while I treats her like a Queen, I like her parents because they are young parents but nwanne I don’t send their money, I just pray for peace at all time. They know I am their daughter’s first love and they are scared of me leaving her for another woman I think

There fears are valid. If you were in their shoes wouldn't you do the same?

Nutase:
There fears are valid. If you were in their shoes wouldn't you do the same?

Yes I will

KristaPretty:
First of all I feel passed for wasting almost 20mins trying to understand this shit

Secondly you keep saying red piller, confirm boy, this and that, oga you no get level!!!

Jew wey de try reason esef.

You are not ready, don't let anyone force you. From the chat, it's definitely coming from YOUR OWN girl making it seem like it's the family pressuring her to marry. She is behind all these, shebi me sef na woman

Two options you got, let them know plainly that you are not ready or you marry and end up regretting

When people begin to rush or put pressure on you, especially for marriage then you need to think and watch twice

Lastly, NEVER YOU EVER TYPE SUCH A LONG NONSENSE AS THIS

Thanks you for the advise, but you take idea yab me. This is Nairaland and I used my main account which had been active here for over 8years, I uses those phrases to fits in my dear

Georgekyrian:
Like now I don’t know what to think!
I always be part of advising people issues here but I don’t always think my personal life will come in stories someday.. so it happens now
I’m a guy in late 20’s, been active in NL for over 9 years, I’m a graduate awaiting NYSC, I have an event ushering business now worth almost a million, but what got my profile high is that right before University years which I graduated in 2021 supposed 2020 due to Covid-19, I had been a die hard hustler starting from main market and school deals that pays me, now I just living average dude with apartment and car in one of the sub urban location here in the country, I have no serious landed property which makes me needed more good investment, the issue now is my relationship life.
I met this my girlfriend in 2019 ending when I relocated into new state outside my state of schooling ( I met her when I was squatting with some family and friends though I rented my own house same end of 2019 because I hate inconveniencing people). We started dating seriously and after some months I took her woman life’s gift when she was purely 18 as I waited because I loved her but I told her fact ‘I cannot continue the relationship with her when she is 18 without having all of her’’, we reached to the agreement that she will give in and remain faithful if I can assure not to hurt her, me already knowing she is a pure good girl, which made me accepting the agreement wholeheartedly, mind you I celebrated her 3 birthday with her with my money and this year birthday we shared the cost by half and was done in my house. My woman is tender but has 2 good skills that pays her averagely daily, though she is the best in her apprentice shop now and due to free but her madam wants her because she is her best (I allowed her still working there is because we are not married and I got no finance to open her own business but in serious plans immediately we get married), but my girl can take any day off for outside job she wants sometimes in my house.
Her parents got to know me last year after I bought phone for her phone as birthday gift, they seized it and demanded I must come to know me, before they issue her back the phone (she has a Christian strict parents and me, I’m pure Christian boy but traditional oriented meaning I like doing Right and no wrong). Me as street carry my men involve after 2days, after introducing myself (not marriage oo) me and the both parents reason and I told them I’m a good friend of their daughter and I want her to use the phone with clean mind and they released it to her.
Since then I have been closer with the family though as pure Igbo boy (with mind of redpiller) always keep my distance. Many times the family will invite me around but I won’t show, last year I gifted her mom a birthday cake why on travel trip, and I didn’t show for that birthday, Mothering Sunday in their church this year, I couldn’t come after the heavy invitation (and that is the present problem... to be continued

Allow that girl go School first. u fit propose Sha as u go do make mistake go show face give her family na there b d Bleep up. And eblike u dey use d girl do wifey duties knowing fully well by her parent's

Or don't even bother proposing my second option. Stand your ground that you're not marrying her let her go to School first, if you don't stand your ground now the parent's go still pressure you and the girl after marriage especially when the said gf would later be taking side with her parent's it would be over for you....

If you love her, marriage is not the only way to show it , it tells her parent's is not even responsible allowing thier daughter to get married when she is not yet in school

If they ask you to stop seeing their daughter that would only be possible if she agrees to stop seeing you, if that be the case you guys have to draw a separate line in the new found qualms in the relationship you can't he expecting her to be doing wifey duties if you had her doing it before, your girlfriend will be in Total control of her parents,if you can hold on to that till you're ready Good

In the end only you can weigh your option better bcus only you wears the shoe
Keep the elders updated even the eldership needs advise sometimes

You disvirgined there daughter, Christian parents don’t joke with this, you both have been playing husband and wife role, now why don’t we make it official, I believe this must be the parents thought, never conclude cause she came from a rich home, that if you marry her you will get monetary support, once you marry her you will see things clearly, do this, go meet the parents tell them that you will marry her daughter once she is done with schooling, now watch there reaction and response

Just dey recharge your battery for free without any commitment.

You are a mad man

Screwcode1:
You disvirgined there daughter, Christian parents don’t joke with this, you both have been playing husband and wife role, now why don’t we make it official, I believe this must be the parents thought, never conclude cause she came from a rich home, that if you marry her you will get monetary support, once you marry her you will see things clearly, do this, go meet the parents tell them that you will marry her daughter once she is done with schooling, now watch there reaction and response

Alright, thanks so much

Thebadpolitican:
Allow that girl go School first. u fit propose Sha as u do make mistake go show face give her family ma there b d Bleep up and eblike u dey use d girl do wifey duties known fully well by her parent's

Or don't even bother proposing my second option. Stand your ground that you're not marrying her let her go to School first, if you don't stand your ground now the parent's go still pressure you and the girl after marriage especially when the said gf would later be taking side with her parent's it would be over for you....

If you love her, marriage is not the only way to show it , it tells her parent's is not even responsible allowing thier daughter to get married when she is not yet in school

If they ask you to stop seeing their daughter that would only be possible if she agrees to stop seeing you, if that be the case you guys have to draw a separate line in the new found qualms in the relationship you can't he expecting her to be doing wifey duties if you had her doing it before, your girlfriend will be in Total control of her parents,if you can hold on to that till you're ready Good

In the end only you can weigh your option better bcus only you wears the shoe
Keep the elders updated even the eldership needs advise sometimes

No like no ones does anything for me, I don’t allow her do anything in my house, I have people to do it. They just feel I am prepared and their daughter is very loyal to my government, so they are forcing to hand her over to me so quick which I don’t want in a rush

Ulunne777:
Just dey recharge your battery for free without any commitment.

You are a mad man

Please no insult, I’m an active guy that can get any woman of my choice easily. I always try my best to be but faithful in my relationship, as for recharging battery I pays her bills so well and that is what baffles people around me, since I pays her bills why shouldn’t I just marry her, normal African mentality.. thanks you

Georgekyrian:
No like no ones does anything for me, I don’t allow her do anything in my house, I have people to do it. They just feel I am prepared and their daughter is very loyal to my government, so they are forcing to hand her over to me so quick which I don’t want in a rush

Sit them down and talk heart to heart with the father ,if you're to marry the lady in the future this Is the first step taking boldness. if they won't see reasons then a much harsher step is needed, in the end they will respect you as long as your intentions are true

Thebadpolitican:
Sit them down and talk heart to heart with the father ,if you're to marry the lady in the future this Is the first step baldness if they won't see reasons then a much harsher step in the end they will respect you as long as your intentions are true

Thanks so much, but let me ask?
Even before this rush & push I wanted to engage her and do her introduction normal. But I want to give a long space like 6- 9months before marriage proper. Do you think is okay? Why I choose this is because I have standard I want to set and been a girl that still growing up in her parents home, I want to use the period of engagement to make her closer and let her spend some weekend in my place (knowing fully that after introduction the parents will allow me). Then I will watch her and myself closely. I do good business and I have people I feed in my home so having her with me won’t make her hungry as she get skills too, I can easily make her go to school but do you also think I can make her parents support us well in the school aspect, is the only thing I expect from them and nothing more. I have 3 school close to me she can easily drive to school anytime and come home. As for the parents shenanigans and me knowing the kind of guy I am, I can control it. Can you advise me to engage and do like I said here?

Georgekyrian:
Thanks so much, but let me ask?
Even before this rush & push I wanted to engage her and do her introduction normal. But I want to give a long space like 6- 9months before marriage proper. Do you think is okay? Why I choose this is because I have standard I want to set and been a girl that still growing up in her parents home, I want to use the period of engagement to make her closer and let her spend some weekend in my place (knowing fully that after introduction the parents will allow me). Then I will watch her and myself closely. I do good business and I have people I feed in my home so having her with me won’t make her hungry as she get skills too, I can easily make her go to school but do you also think I can make her parents support us well in the school aspect, is the only thing I expect from them and nothing more. I have 3 school close to me she can easily drive to school anytime and come home. As for the parents shenanigans and me knowing the kind of guy I am, I can control it. Can you advise me to engage and do like I said here?

That's a nice step ,if you desire it, remember is you first before anything so if it's your decision
Then go ahead, it's what suit you we are after because women na men necessary liability

Thebadpolitican:
That's a nice step ,if you desire it, remember is you first before anything so if it's your decision
Then go ahead, it's what suit you we are after because women na men necessary liability

Thanks and nice words from you, I appreciate and will sleep over it

muhammadhan19:
Think with your head n not with ur heart!!!
Only u urself knows whats good for u n what's not. Never be forced,pressured,succumb to do what's ure not ready to do no matter the condition, love, fear etc surrounding u at that moment. The lady is still very young, I don't know y their forcing her into marriage now, maybe due to fear of bad guys who waste women pressure time n later dumped them, who knows....
In life hustle, but never rush to make money.... Also, never rush into marriage cuz e get why.
Pls ensure u achieve 75% of what u planned for b4 u marry bcuz marriage na different ball games, e no go tey b4 love clear for ur eye when different issues start coming in n u gonna blame urself, the lady for any misfortune leading to unhappy family....
from what uve said, it seems d lady loves u.
Oga its time for u to be a man, man up go see her parent n tell them when u will be ready and stand ur ground but with respect. Shit happens never be afraid to loose anyone cuz e get y....
Do what u think is best for u first b4 anyone else... PEACE OUT....

that was what I faced 2017. The pressure was so much but I refused to be pressurised. Now she's married.
I could have regretted my actions had it been I go married to her. She could have been showcasing her real character's now. Like your comment...let him use his head not heart.

Georgekyrian:
Thanks.. what if I use engagement and official introduction but time for the one year, do you think is the best. Another is I must say I know her at almost adult age 18 I know her might and flops. I’m active street guy and to my understanding I get small sense. when I say she is good she is good and I can easily know any secret from her as she hardly hide things from me thought sometimes she fails but I later found those out, her flop level is 2/10

she's 18? Guy relax..she still naive