What are you waiting for? Do that ASAP

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Well apology on his behalf for not telling you about the child and her condition too,guess his dishonesty is from being scared of losing you though but I would suggest you guys can get a maid specially for the child atleast to save cost and since his not financially bouyant to take her to the home of children with disabilities…don’t lose your marriage because of this and I sincerely understand and appreciate your efforts too but you can always work a way out though

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

This one strong oh. Such children need carers or specialists not you

HRHQueenPhil:

He can't afford 25k for a small girl to help?
Ok, what will make u not to leave?

.. Bros which kind Maid dey collect 200k to tKe care of pikin?? How many bank managers dey collect 200k per month Or u no see say na 200k monthly she talk say maid wan collect??

H0711:


Unfortunately he can't afford to take the child anywhere. his younger sister has refused to come and help and I can't do it too. Being a single mother is not a death sentence I rather leave than carrying a burden which I didn't agreed for.first of all he didn't tell me anything about the child and her condition and why would I have to stay and suffer taking care of her including my own baby who will be born in 2 months time. If another woman would be happy to come and take care of the child is not my problem I wish her all the best.

There are some NGOs taking care of PWD, you and your husband should shop for one around you. If you live in Ibadan, I know of Jesus Kids Academy for children with Autism. I understand it's not your problem, really...but you can still help her find a home. Best of luck.

Cutehector:
its your cross, carry it.. Why are you a christian?

Being a Christian doesn't mean I have to be an hyprocrite and carry a burden which I didn't agree with which might make me to develop some health issues like blood pressure and depression later on. If you care enough come and carry the cross on our behalf . Are you not a Christian too?

H0711:


God forbid bad things but for my own child I will never get tired of him I will love him no matter what but for someone else child in that condition I won't. The worse is he didn't tell me from the onset maybe if he had told me I would have accepted her and be prepared but I wasn't prepared and I can't do it.

I ain't judging but you know that's not true. If you can't endure thus child, I doubt if you will be able to cope should the table turns. I pray for you and your husband never to have such again cos that will be serious.

Neway, here is my 2cents. Go to Google and look for organizations, I mean NGOs that support children with such to solicit for help. Be it local or international. Never get tired of it till help comes. You seek assistance whether church or corporate organizations cos many people with choldren that celebral palsy are out there and funny enough, they support each other. You might just be lucky to get attention and exposure from one. Moreover, you get more info on how to handle the situation better.


Running away won't solve the problem.

Go and register her in school for needy.You visit and send her items.Is not enough to leave your marriage.

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Drfernandez:


Just imagine if my father had left my mother after finding out that the street boys she got intimate with have released her nude photos online. I guess she was counting herself among the godly people ever since Abbey instructed Abiodun to put her nude photos from Twitter.

I am not in support of what the husband of the thread owner did.

Fixed.

You can leave, the marriage was built in lies.

However, also note that with you pregnant and having a child soon, you already have become a baby mama and your chances at remarrying becomes slim.

I doubt if there's any marriage btw you after all[color=#770077][/color]

H0711:



Thank you I am leaving on the 4th of August nothing will change my mind.

HRHQueenPhil:


I can't imagine what u are going through
This is very wicked of the man
I wld advise u don't leave ur marriage
Every marriage has test and this is one of it
Two solutions
-get a good maid that can assist with looking after the child
- u can start a business that helps u support ur man and leave d house so u won't constantly be in pain
Remember to lift the child up in prayers and fasting so it shall be well with u as well

Lol. Lift the child in prayers.

I think there must be a way to detect children with celebral palsy in order to do the needful before they are born or immediately at birth.

Truly it's not worth it because such children rarely live beyond 15 years even they do, it's waste of resources and one's sanity is at stake.

JONNYSPUTE:
..,.. Lol. What if after given birth she finds out that her own child has the same issue? Wetin she go do?

Maybe drop her child with the husband and jepa her own

Lol, you tried but failed my friend. The kid's mother dropped her off, saying she's tired. Why trying now to emotionally and psychologicaly blackmail this innocent woman here? If she gives birth to a specially challenged kid tomorrow, that will be her own problem too. Everyone with her own cup of tea. I pity the man sha, I hope he doesn't end his own life the way this thing is going for him

Leaving is a hard decision and staying isn't easy as well, you're 7 months gone and this alone is enough reason why it's not advisable to leave, I will advise you to stay a little and study how things turn out, if it's beyond what you can endure, you can then decide to leave but leaving now is kinda too soon and early considering your current situation.

Just tell your husband to get someone to look after the child as its going to be a huge burden on you to look after her with your current condition, I guess talking to your husband and coming to a solution should be your priority RN...



Marriages this days is for the grace, the earlier everyone realized Marriages isn't for everyone the better for everyone...

backnbeta:

There are some NGOs taking care of PWD, you and your husband should shop for one around you. If you live in Ibadan, I know of Jesus Kids Academy for children with Autism. I understand it's not your problem, really...but you can still help her find a home. Best of luck.

It's not abroad ooo...there is no free NGO in Nigeria that will collect kids from you for free without agreement of monthly upkeep..
If you dont come back they will just use the child for ritual for the highest bidder

The lady has said the man doesnt have the money...meaning he will still come and tell the poor wife to be packing shít and carrying the child to bathroom to bathe for the rest of her marriage......

. the mother of the child should come and carry her baby....she did the dumping out of jealousy to chase the woman out because the man didn't marry her....some women dey crazeeee

Mcleo007:
You can leave, the marriage was built in lies.

However, also note that with you pregnant and having a child soon, you already have become a baby mama and your chances at remarrying becomes slim.

Being a single mother is not a death sentence . I prefer that chance to be reduce like you think than staying in an unhappy place raising someone else responsibility which might cause me to develop some health issues.

I know what you are passing through, there are other homes for the impaired and this kind of kid, find out and put her there take care of the marriage

poor girl, you're leaving cause you have seen the said man broke and can't cartel for your expenses.
bad wife

Steep:
That is why it is good to find out information about whom one is to marry.

If you are a Christian you should understand that the only basis for divorce is adultery but if you are not a Christian you can choose to leave or stay it.

What of in a case where wife decides to leave...no adultery, no maltreatment or abuse...is the Christian man free to remarry?

kollinz1234:
child of Satan? Hahhahahaha. So you asking her to leave her marriage is "Godly" and a "child of God?. :DFrom your discuss, I can tell that you are a frustrated man and life generally is not fair to you. Why should I share same opinion with you

Yes. Asking her to leave a union built on lies is better than asking her to live a life of burden fuelled by your cursing an unborn baby bacause you dont like the mother's choice. Only a very dark hearted person will indirectly curse an unborn baby tufiakwa. The church is evil no wonder Jesus said judgement will start from there. My life is what your ancestors dreamed about but have not achieved even in your generation. I NEVER said you should share my opinion that is how you evil people always grab at straws to justify your wickedness. You have killed and done worse evil in your lifetime compared to her choice of leaving a marriage due to lies. Yet no one has threatened your unborn children.
Solution is simple, since you are so godly take the child and reap the reward you so want her to reap. Or did your bible tell you not to do good to those you aren't related by blood with? Teach this woman going astary by your judgement a lesson by example. I am sure she wouldn't mind.
OP, YOU WILL DELIVER A HEALTHY BABY AND DO IT SAFELY.

Jovialjune1:



All these negativity instigators sef, they must sha have a nonsense excuse to type trash one way or the other.

She won't have a child with same issue IJN, proclaim positivity on others, it will also reflect on you.

so, for your mind, it's in the interest of the child's mother to give birth to her with the disability? Life and everything in it is in 2 phases darling.

generalwo:
.. Bros which kind Maid dey collect 200k to tKe care of pikin?? How many bank managers dey collect 200k per month Or u no see say na 200k monthly she talk say maid wan collect??

Oga try to read and understand before commenting…

GraciousVictor:
OP please my mother is stupid
she is well known as a useless woman whose husband my father sent her packing hence her bitterness.
Everyone in my area knows my mother as a demented and frustrated woman.
My mother is a foolish woman

Fixed.

H0711:


Yes to be honest with you he can't afford it.

He can't afford #25 000 monthly?

How is he providing for the family or did you pay his groom price?

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

It's not even about the condition of the child but the fact that he can hide such huge secret from you. Do you know what else is hidden from you.

Separate from him, it's not worth it

jogsman01:
so, for your mind, it's in the interest of the child's mother to give birth to her with the disability? Life and everything in it is in 2 phases darling.

Why not wish a disability child for yourself since life and everything in it is in 2 phases, darling.

You can reach out to Adoca home

MediMedi:
poor girl, you're leaving cause you have seen the said man broke and can't cartel for your expenses.
bad wife

No problem only God knows the truth if i am a bad wife or not . ask one your sister come and replace me to help him take care of the child

Olayetan:
Leaving is a hard decision and staying isn't easy as well, you're 7 months gone and this alone is enough reason why it's not advisable to leave, I will advise you to stay a little and study how things turn out, if it's beyond what you can endure, you can then decide to leave but leaving now is kinda too soon and early considering your current situation.

Just tell your husband to get someone to look after the child as its going to be a huge burden on you to look after her with your current condition, I guess talking to your husband and coming to a solution should be your priority RN...

Marriages this days is for the grace, the earlier everyone realized Marriages isn't for everyone the better for everyone. ..

This is not about her marriage to her husband, just happened that someone else's problem was dumped on her laps. She didn't see it coming, she was "ambushed". It's just too much for her and for anyone for that matter. Haba!

OP, you and hubby can take the child to a Cerebral Palsy centre in Laokwe, Lagos if you stay in Lagos. Use google map to trace address.

Affected children admission to the centre is free. Its an NGO. Have a discuss with the MD.

I advise you stay with your husband if you truely love him. No one is completely perfect.

Richy4:


Finally do U know if Nigerian government takes care of people/ individuals with such problems?

This got me. Nigerian government has enough problem of its own nah.