₦airaland Forum

Psoul:
Please which one is making you so much angry to a point u want to leave the marriage.
Are you angry that the man did not tell u of the child from his previous relationship?
Are u bothered that the child is handicapped?
In as much as it can be painful. Have u asked yourself this question.
Are u sincerely 100% open to ur husband. Are there things about u that you hid from him.
I'm not justifying anything.
I'm not condemning anything
What I want to assure u is that leaving your marriage will never solve ur proble.
It may even make is complicated.

All the same, if you think that your happiness will come from leaving, then leave.
Goodluck.

Blessedmercy8:
What's the deceit there?

Ok, agreed the man didn't tell her but did she at anytime ask the man if he had a child somewhere and the man denied it? No! So no case here.

Shes just wants to have her cake and eat it. Shes not willing to sacrifice or support her spouse. The man is also having a hard time and needs her support but no, she's only concerned about herself alone. she's just being self-centered.

There's nothing like deceit. She should learn to ask questions in her dealings with people next time. I guess she got carried away by what she was enjoying then and never bothered to do the needful.

CAPSLOCKED:
DON'T LET ANYBODY GUILT TRIP YOU. IF YOU CAN DO BETTER ON YOUR OWN, YOU SHOULD SURELY DO WHAT IT IS THAT YOUR MIND TELLS YOU.
YOUR POINTS ARE VALID. IF YOU WERE MY FAM YOUR BAGS WOULD HAVE BEEN IN MY HOUSE BY NOW.

H0711:
Yes I have made up my mind because it has not been easy for me because i take care of her everyday from morning until hubby get home at 7-8pm . It's been a week only and [b]my head want to explode [/b]and my body want to give up. I am tired and the level of stress is too much for me in this my condition I need rest not all of this burden . I can't do it anymore. I am not leaving him because of his poor condition it is because I can't take care of his special need child , his financial state hasn't been a problem to me because no condition is permanent I know one day everything will be fine but i can't take care of his special need child in this my condition.

meetme01:
If he finds a place for the young girl at an affordable price, will you stay?

Which part of the country do you reside?

We both know you won't marry him if he informed you earlier of his child with disability. It is unfair weather disable or not. However, he ❤ you sincerely.

Let's find a way forward.

Remember, when you birth your child,he is the father and he will take care of the baby.

H0711:
I don't know where she is , the first time I set my eyes on her was the day she dropped the child and I don't think I have any business with her. I am a woman like her she has her reason for dropping her off because taking care of such a child requires a lot of money too. My hubby is not financially stable he couldn't provide for her needs while she couldn't too so her only option was to drop her off with us and I can't also do it. The only option I have is to leave too she is his child he will find a way to take care of her. I don't think nigerian government provides care for such people. The only place he went they said they are happy to keep her in and they will provide all her care but he must pay 200k every month which he can't afford.

BloomingDale:
Let God use you so you can be blessed.

Karleb:
You are too young to be suffering for another person's sin

MALIGNANTGuest:
What if I told you that I know 2 MALE Nairalanders whose wives kept such similar information from during dating years yet these Guys didn't serve their treacherous wives QUIT notice...

One confided in me that he had to continue with the marriage after he had realized the woman he married has got a lot of Good tidings to offer & hasn't got much terrible side.

U LADIES always think MEN are perpetually at fault. It can only be a Man or a MAN, nothing else.
MOST MARRIED MEN keep mute in marriages and allow it to ride smoothly not because they haven't gotten a clue of their wife's past or terrible health conditions which arose from previous wayward life styles. It always easier for LADIES to announce their problems to the world through platforms especially when a man is at fault.

I can bet you, IF most married men in Nigeria start opening up, the collapse of Nigeria will only be a child's play to what will befall many homes.

Blessedmercy8:
What's the deceit there?

Ok, agreed the man didn't tell her but did she at anytime ask the man if he had a child somewhere and the man denied it? No! So no case here.

Shes just wants to have her cake and eat it. Shes not willing to sacrifice or support her spouse. The man is also having a hard time and needs her support but no, she's only concerned about herself alone. she's just being self-centered.

There's nothing like deceit. She should learn to ask questions in her dealings with people next time. I guess she got carried away by what she was enjoying then and never bothered to do the needful.

H0711:
I rather suffer in my parents house than in an unhappy place raising the child in her condition which might result in myself developing high blood pressure and depression.

Ginaz:
Your write up shows you are very incapable to thinking logically. Do you think everyone in life is struggling like you do? You need a brain transfer cos the one you’re using is very damaged.

People should stay away from such mentally poor brain like yours least they suffer immensely. While you go about shouting godly , you don’t think it’s not godly that the husband abandoned the child for the mother for 7yrs with no money to assist for their child. You are busy talking about “leave husband’s house” like the house is more important than caring for his sick child.

You are mentally disabled. Gosh. Get out from here! Last response to you and you will be happily ignored by me. Your next mention will be reported so I don’t see nonsense!

H0711:
I am not alone. my elder brother and wife leave in abuja too , right now I am at their house and in the village I will receive more support from my parents and other relatives

Nozino:
You must have supernatural powers to know how much the husband loves her. But if the revise was the case, I can imagine the unprintable names you would have called OP.

H0711:
God forbid bad things but for my own child I will never get tired of him I will love him no matter what but for someone else child in that condition I won't. The worse is he didn't tell me from the onset maybe if he had told me I would have accepted her and be prepared but I wasn't prepared and I can't do it.

Blessedmercy8:
This is what happens when you put the cart before the horse. When you ought to do your findings about who you're getting married to, you were busy consumating sex, getting yourself pregnant and rushing into marriage without proper background checks. Now you want to opt out just like that.

you think marriage is child's play? Or something you can just throw in the trash when the odds are against you? Think again cos this right here is the real marriage. So you have to accept and deal with it.

Oh... You want the man but you don't want his child?
What if it was you who gave birth to the child? Forget about how the mother is not willing to take her therefore you can't keep her excuse you're giving. The father didn't marry her but you. Maybe if he did, she won't abandon the child, so you who won the man should accept his totality.

Do you know what the one you're carrying will turn out to be?

Majority of you marry these days for the benefits. If nothing is in it for you, then you leave. You can't sacrifice and if they ask you now, you'll say you love the man. Mtcheeeeeewwwww..

wowcatty:
That's a test for you with a reward of blessing, please don't fail. The only question you should ask yourself is, why you and then answer it yourself with why not you. Take care of that child with love just like your own and see doors open for you.

Give an update in a few months please.

BloomingDale:
Nigerian women has suffered. See all these foolish Nigerian men trying to guilt trip the lady.

H0711:
Most of the things you are saying here if you were in my shoe you will not even take a quarter of it . Maybe if it was you by now you will be locking her inside the room like an animal . But i have tried my best to take care of her needs but i cant take it anymore.I will not stay where I am not happy . My happiness and health matter a lot. like I said earlier if you are a woman come and marry him to help taking care of the child

meetme01:
Due to the nature of my work, I don't use unprintable words in situations like this. Therefore, don't be judgemental. I was just trying to phantom a way forward to keep the family intact. The woman didn't deny the love either just disturbed he kept such info from him.

emmysoftyou:
you stayed in ur brother place now, the one u told us he's stringy and doesn't take care of ur needs or is he another brother? If he's another brother then u have two brothers in abuja cos from ur last thread u said ur brother wife died after some month of she gave birth and ur mother want u to take care of his children or look after them..
It's well with u.
No one knows tomorrow..

bonnyhope:
Was there anywhere in the passage she mentioned her age?

H0711:
Thank you . Right now i am at my elder brother house he said he will not allow me to go back to mt place again until tbrusday when I go back to the village. He want my younger brother to go to my house to pick my loads

wowcatty:
If that child was her own, she won't take care of him or her? It's called selfless service and it's incovenient but rewarding. Have you thought about maybe she is carrying one just like that and God wants to see how she would accept this one and then use that to change it for good in her favor?

bonnyhope:
Was there anywhere in the passage she mentioned her age?

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
go as fast as you can, don't compound his problems further, you don't love him in the first place so the reason why you were mounting pressure to leave, don't forget to go with your badluck, that man should realized he doesn't need these useless gender in his life again. He will be happy ever after

Le2money:
U lack knowledge and sense bro. Because the child has one illness now and she wants to go, does it means the child in her womb is purely free? Do to others what u want others to do for you in ur presence and absence. The only thing they are do here is to have the guy's mother to come live with them for her to be assisting. Face your problems and never run away from it ...that's always my blv

ugolightswel1:
Young woman listen to me if you can.

Anybody here advicing you to leave is a home breaker.

Your mind asking you to leave is actually trying to mislead you.

don't leave your marriage, it's for better for worst.

marriage is not come and chop
stick your ground and put the necessary sacrifice and make a great mother for your home.

Look for an assistant you people should pay like 50k monthly by the way there's no job people will rush in for it.

Assist the child in prayers and constantly take her to church for serious prayers; GOD of miracle still exists.

Try and forgive your husband

And endeavours to do all for the child with the love of GOD so that your prayers shall have a healing on her thanks

etrouble:
Go ahead please. If you need any assistance with the divorce, please contact me. If you need a lawyer, I can help you pay for one. If you need transport money to return to your village, I can give you.

That about to be deserves better. He did not marry the baby Mama because he saw that the baby Mama was heartless, long before she even gave birth to a disabled child. He dodged a bullet there. Unfortunately, he jumped into another heartless village street girl. Some people are unlucky in relationships.

If this guy begs you to stay, he will regret his life because he is married to a heartless village witch who I foresee will poison the disabled child one day.

Mindlog:
Even as over rigid as the Catholic Church is when it comes to dissolution of marriage, if OP was married in the Catholic Church and what she posted is what is the real situation of the marriage, the marriage tribunal of the Church would annull the marriage because "deceit was perpetrated in order to secure consent" (Canon 1098). A man or a woman intending to marry is obligated to come clean about such.

You are right

Anything hidden should be made clear before marriage