Be calming down Nozino. The insults on people don dey plenty.

I wish you a safe delivery op.

OP, are you leaving because he lied or because of the child who's been dropped with you or both? Do you still love each other?

The OP has made up her mind. I pity the man and the daughter who's caught up in this difficult situation.

Let God intervene because words will be flying here and there but what's the best decision?

OP, a separation, not divorce, would be best for now until oga shows remorse/apologizes and a working solution has been reached. You don't want to raise your soon-to-be born child outside wedlock. Please, reconsider.

Maybe search for agencies that handle such issues. God bless you.

kollinz1234:
you are pregnant and you don't know what you will give birth to, yet you want to leave your husband not because he didnt tell you that he had a child out of wedlock but because you can't cope with the child. Karma is a very wicked bitch.
You leave that man's house, don't be surprised at what you will give birth to.

Shallom

Her child is perfect and protected. You shouldn’t be saying all this because I’m sure all your children will be still births!

Nozino:



You’re mad. May your wife being another man’s 7 year old special needs child for you to be cooking, cleaning and taking care of while she leaves the house and only comes back at night. Werey!

I read all your response to others on this thread and I realised, you are either a family to OP,or you just want to be noticed. Good, we have noticed you.

I am a special need individual for 19years doing great things that you will ever imagine.

All you stated above, I do it myself. Thanks to my support system who encouraged and stood by me all this years.

You don't run from challenges, you stay focused and look for solution(s). That's what am preaching not vengeance like you are doing.

H0711:


I rather suffer in my parents house than in an unhappy place raising the child in her condition which might result in myself developing high blood pressure and depression.

nobody has asked you to raise the child especially in that condition, mandate your man to take her elsewhere and stay where you are, going back to your parents would be more shameful and it would result to u having multiple baby daddies, forgive him for not telling u of his child beforehand, it would have been Okay to leave if u weren't carrying his child.

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Your husband was wrong to keep such such vital information from you. However, I really don't think this is enough cause for a divorce. You can both come up with tenable solutions for the care of the girl depending on the availability of funds. Her care can be managed by a professional caregiver. Unless you have some other issue with your husband, this isn't enough for a divorce.

Modification: Since funds are a problem, giving your husband some space may be the only way out, considering your condition. Return home, get some rest, have your baby and then decide on what to do next. Don't end your marriage in haste though. I wish you the best.

Taigaban:
Don't leave your marriage. Marriage is full of problems and this is one of them. There are solutions to this. Give him the only condition to make you stay. He has to pay a mate to take care of her. Or he takes her to one of his relative and pay him or her monthly to take care of her. This girl's burden cannot be on you especially with your condition. Certain relationship are not worth the trouble. There are certain ladies you should not even sleep with. They can retire your progress, block your future, or put you through stress for life. Now he is to take care of this girl in her condition for life or as long as she lives.

Accepting a 7year old special needs child is one of the problems of marriages? In which state or country? Was your parents marriage marred with this abnormality?

H0711:


Thank you I am leaving on the 4th of August even right now I left him alone with the child I am not coming home until tommorow I need a break. he should feel the pain he has put the child mother for raising the child alone for good 7 years . I am a woman I really feel her pain. I have done it for a week and my body gave up it is not easy at all.

yes, i feel your pain... It's not easy... I totally understand with you..just be safe where ever you are... Your family members should be aware of your every move... Please.. For security reasons... You're most welcome, anytime...

BloomingDale:


God works in mysterious ways. You just might be the solution. Think about it.

Lol...I see what ur doing. Yea its possible. I have adopted people here as mine even without meeting them ( especially those who can't help themselves) and I keep doing the little I can by keeping them on payroll as best as I can. I no come out talk but they know themselves. Once again I hope and pray u see beyond ur nose. I see ur posts on this topic so I can tell the kind of woman u are. God will help us all..

HRHQueenPhil:


I can't imagine what u are going through
This is very wicked of the man
I wld advise u don't leave ur marriage
Every marriage has test and this is one of it
Two solutions
-get a good maid that can assist with looking after the child
- u can start a business that helps u support ur man and leave d house so u won't constantly be in pain
Remember to lift the child up in prayers and fasting so it shall be well with u as well

you're stupid and deluded. As if you will stay if you're in the same situation. The way una dey talk sometimes ehn

This pregnancy could have been terminated. I’m not sure why people purposefully bring handicapped children into this already cruel world.

meetme01:


I read all your response to others on this thread and I realised, you are either a family to OP,or you just want to be noticed. Good, we have noticed you.

I am a special need individual for 19years doing great things that you will ever imagine.

All you stated above, I do it myself. Thanks to my support system who encouraged and stood by me all this years.

You don't run from challenges, you stay focused and look for solution(s). That's what am preaching not vengeance like you are doing.

If you like, be a special needs person for 100years. It doesn’t change the fact that the child isn’t her responsibility, she isn’t obligated to do anything for her, and if the reverse was the case, same you would advise her husband to throw her out of the house.

Pls call mè on 08078321505 or 08023351618 for help. Remaìn in your marriage pĺs.

Nozino:



If you ever get married, your wife will come with 7 special needs kids. And your daughters will experience similar marital problems.

the one in your womb will come worse than your step wife as you claim, you are a useless woman that's why you won't have a stable Life, before you marry, you think marriage is bed of roses, small challenge you want to run and you expect me to be begging you to stay to completely destroy that innocent man abi? Thunder fire you

My dear, you should not face this burden while pregnant.. Not good for you and could be dangerous... Please kindly leave... The mental torture is too much and to be honest you can never trust him again..

delishpot:


You have been noticed. Say hello to your mom for me. She taught me well for you to have recognized my profession so easily. My apprenticeship under her ashawo hustle did not go to waste.

you stink

victorazy:


you get mind o!
Leaving your marriage because of this flimsy excuse is ridiculous, that care money is too much but you can find another solution.

It is flimsy because you haven’t cared for a child. You dn pack 7years old shit before? Someone that can’t communicate? How she wan take dy carry her waka? Do you know what special needs is? You’re mad sir. May God allow you experience it.

ugolightswel1:


Young woman listen to me if you can.

Anybody here advicing you to leave is a home breaker.

Your mind asking you to leave is actually trying to mislead you.

don't leave your marriage, it's for better for worst.

marriage is not come and chop
stick your ground and put the necessary sacrifice and make a great mother for your home.

Look for an assistant you people should pay like 50k monthly by the way there's no job people will rush in for it.

Assist the child in prayers and constantly take her to church for serious prayers; GOD of miracle still exists.

Try and forgive your husband

And endeavours to do all for the child with the love of GOD so that your prayers shall have a healing on her thanks

Oga, the husband dumped a special needs child on a 7 month pregnant lady. An assistant ke? The child needs a minimum of 2 assistants. One to be taking care of her during the day and the other one at night. That is why everyone is running away from the child. Even her husband ran away from the first wife due to the child, but luckily the ex wife traced him. The man only earns 15k per month.

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

He shouldn't transfer such burden to you

EgunMogaji2:
This pregnancy could have been terminated. Thanks m joy sure why people purposefully bring handicapped children into this already cruel world.

It is possible that the husband's meagre means could not afford proper prenatals to check what was in the offing.

TheFacelessMan:

Disclaimer - hope this story is for real....

I was really surprised to see 1 or 2 empathetic responses before you...

Most comments were really cold-hearted. The husband lied which is bad. But this lady fleeing at the very first sign of trouble is a pointer that the love for the man was never there. The man knew she would flee if she knew the truth and that's why he lied.

Just 2 months and she wants to leave? I think that's the best for both parties anyways before she poisons the girl out of frustration.

@ OP. Flee PLEASE. Best for all involved.

They should send the child to live with you for two months to see how easy it is to deal with a special needs child. I’m not even factoring the betrayal and breach of trust. But no issues, your daughter will experience the same in their marriages.

Uniquekriss:
nobody has asked you to raise the child especially in that condition, mandate your man to take her elsewhere and stay where you are, going back to your parents would be more shameful and it would result to u having multiple baby daddies, forgive him for not telling u of his child beforehand, it would have been Okay to leave if u weren't carrying his child.

You are trying to manipulate me it will not work in Jesus name. If you care enough come and join him so you can help him to take care of the child. I bet you will not even stay for 10 mins you will run and go back to where you came from

killmods:

Lol...I see what ur doing. Yea its possible. I have adopted people here as mine even without meeting them ( especially those who can't help themselves) and I keep doing the little I can by keeping them on payroll as best as I can. I no come out talk but they know themselves. Once again I hope and pray u see beyond ur nose. I see ur posts on this topic so I can tell the kind of woman u are. God will help us all..

Oga, don’t judge me. I’m just telling it like how it is. I also spend millions yearly taking care of other people kids. Anyone can do that if they have the money, so nothing special about it. This is a special needs child. The child needs round the clock care, at least a minimum of 2 assistants specialized in caring for disabled children, and you want a 7 month old pregnant woman to carry such a heavy burden. Oga, you are simply just a wicked man with no respect for women.

latolz:
My dear, you should not face this burden while pregnant.. Not good for you and could be dangerous... Please kindly leave... The mental torture is too much and to be honest you can never trust him again..

Thank you I am at my brother place . I will not go back there again. I am staying here until thrusday when I will leave for the village

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
the one in your womb will come worse than your step wife as you claim, you are a useless woman that's why you won't have a stable Life, before you marry, you think marriage is bed of roses, small challenge you want to run and you expect me to be begging you to stay to completely destroy that innocent man abi? Thunder fire you

All your children will be still births. Tears will never finish from your home.

BloomingDale:


Oga, don’t judge me. I’m just telling it like how it is. I also spend millions yearly taking care of other people kids. Anyone can do that if you have money, so nothing special about it. This is a special needs child. The child needs round the clock care, at least a minimum of 2 assistants specialized in caring for disabled children, and you want a 7 month pregnant woman to carry such a heavy burden without assistance from the husband. Oga, you are simply just a wicked man with no respect for women.

Now I'm wicked? Does she have to be the one to attend to the special needs child herself? They can both compromise and make provisions or seek outside help together. U telling her to run away from her union u are kind shebi? Keep exposing urself. I have nothing else to say to a woman like u.

H0711:



I am not alone. my elder brother and wife leave in abuja too , right now I am at their house and in the village I will receive more support from my parents and other relatives

So sorry about your situation.

generalwo:
If she was your child will you abandon her? Advise her dad to employ a maid to assist with taking care of the child.... Marriage is for better for worse..... You leaving him because of this defies everything a good marriage stands for.... He messed up not telling you about the child in the first place but i advise you forgive him..... Children are blessings.... No matter the disability or conditions they are in..... I didn't say it's easy but think twice before you leave..... Don't love for the good times only..... Unless you already have someone you're seeing and then you're using this as an excuse to japa.... Let me ask... What if it's your husband that had an accident and finds himself in such a condition... That's how u will leave him and go abi..... If na man dey do this one now... Them go begin shout men are scum follow everywhere... It is well Sha..... I have always said it that this generation knows nothing about true love... They love only for the good times... When the going gets tough..... They change without thinking twice

Thank you very much for this advice. But as you read OP is 7months pregnant and can’t really take care of her rn. Can you please accommodate her?? Look for a maid and I will pay 25k/month while OP puts to bed and nurses her baby. Please, like the good Christian you are, do it Nna.

Nozino:



Her child is perfect and protected. You shouldn’t be saying all this because I’m sure all your children will be still births!

you will soon learn how to read, understand and write so that you won't be placing unnecessary courses on your head and that of your generation.

kollinz1234:
you will soon learn how to read, understand and write so that you won't be placing unnecessary courses on your head and that of your generation.

The Nozino guy is jobless. Written more than 10 comments on the issue. Probably has siblings cursed with cerebral palsy. See his obvious lack of hometraining.