You got married 2months ago, yet you are 7months pregnant. Do you see why I'm always against ladies using pregnancy to marry?

Before you married that man, how many months or years did you court him? Did you visit his village home, if you did, you would have heard that cerebral palsy baby existed and asked questions, even if the family had lied to you when you asked, your own family would have
done some detailed investigation to save you this trauma, but ladies of these days open leg and belle first before marriage.


Now you are asking us for advice
If you had asked the proper questions and nosed around during courtship and not gotten pregnant first, it would have saved you a great deal.


Now you want to carry an 8month pregnancy to the village to go burden your family, your family will now begin to cater to you and a baby on the way.


Abeg na your life, do whatever you want. As you made your bed, lie on it. I don't have any advice to give.

He didn't tell you he had a child before marriage, you couldn't also open your mouth and thinking brain to say pregnancy after marriage abi?

Ulunne777:


So the man who couldn't provide a dime for the care of a special needs child both birthed isn't wicked?Some of you are just so wicked its unbelievable.

David Nnachi abandoned their own for Jodie the lady that sang' Kuchi kuchi'.She's even crying and talking bout being depressed let alone a 7 month old preggy woman.

Fear God

What is this one saying??

generalwo:
..... I can help if only she gives me the man's number.....i was another woman's responsibility when my mum who had me at a very young age left me..... So it's nothing new taking care of someone else's kid...... It's not like the man is beating her... It's not like he's doing anything out of the ordinary... He has a kid which he didn't tell her about... He's wrong... Agreed.... The kid has a special need... He's wrong agreed..... Isn't this the time to show support and love for both the man and the baby even though the child's mum is insensitive and inconsiderate At what point does "for better for worst" applies in marriage

But if a woman brings an illegitimate child to her marriage you people will call her Ashawo and Olosho and drive her out of her home.


Women dn wise. All this Una backyard sense nr dy work again.

I put the whole blame on the child's mother, she could've done background checks know if the man is committed to her before keeping the pregnancy. She probably kept it with hope that man will marry her and that did not happen plus the fact that the child is not fine, she decided to leave and abandon the whole thing. If the child was normal all we would've been hearing and reading from her is praise-singing the child and claiming her "boundle of joy" when no one was there for her. Some women are so evil and selfish.
To you the OP, if you can't carry it then leave but remember that it if the child was normal and probably becomes a successful person tomorrow, you would've been front to claim the credit tomorrow.

kayperry:




Seems you believe so much in God, so did God tell you its compulsory she leaves before solution fit come, will it be tew much as a couple to brainstorm together thru the storm.
Just one week, she want to japa if naa her child she fit japa, according to her the husband earn peanut i think poverty furstration is more a catalyst she just wan use that child save face[b].
naa poor man house woman dey get principle [/b]



for better for stay for worst i japa .. is the trend

Whatever ! I am done with this topic. It’s so exhausting when people resort to emotional blackmail. Go and pick the child up yourself and take care of her!

Nozino:



You that is dead? You see how you life is hard currently, do you want to finish yourself?

Nozino or whatever you call yourself, see how you have become a nuisance on this thread..

A once peaceful thread has been turned into a cursing spree by you.
Samething you do in the public space everywhere you go.

If I serve a LIVING GOD
Starting from today because you first responded with curse even when I didn't, let CURSE FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO, men, women and children both young and old shall hurl curses at you in eke, ore, nkwo and Afor, people you never know shall see you and curse you, you will even receive beatings publicly then you shall remember this day. Then it will be too late for you.

Nozino:



Your opinion will kee you.

E reach to give them.

Nozino:



But if a woman brings an illegitimate child to her marriage you people will call her Ashawo and Olosho and drive her out of her home.


Women dn wise. All this Una backyard sense nr dy work again.

.... I once dated a lady who had 2 kids from a previous affair and adopted the kids as mine.... Until their mother cheated on me..... So na you know if your sense dey your backyard...... I no join those wen dey call people names because them get kids from their previous affairs..... No dey use the same stick beat everybody

iammarvellux:

Nozino or whatever you call yourself, see how you have become a nuisance on this thread..

A once peaceful thread has been turned into a cursing spree by you.
Samething you do in the public space everywhere you go.

If I serve a LIVING GOD
Starting from today because you first responded with curse even when I didn't, let CURSE FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO, men, women and children shall hurl curses at you in eke, ore, nkwo, Afor, people you never know shall see you and curse you, you will even receive beatings publicly then you shall remember this day. Then it will be too late for you.

You’re dead already. Go and bury yourself. I’m not going to let vile people like you shame this woman into accepting what you won’t accept.

Kobojunkie:
Stop using God's name to try to emotionally blackmail the OP into accepting your nonsensical advice there.

How can a child born to a married women be said to be born out of wedlock? You high on wall paint abi wetin?

A working solution to what exactly? Her marriage or your delusions of what is her marriage?

Wow! Kobo, I never knew you could be this insultive. I guess it's my day when you quote me.
If you needed more explanation on what I said, you could have asked but since you have started and ended it with insults, peace be unto you, O, wise one. Have a lovely Sunday in the Lord. God bless you!

JONNYSPUTE:
..,.. Lol. What if after given birth she finds out that her own child has the same issue? Wetin she go do?

Maybe drop her child with the husband and jepa her own

You think to care for a child with cerebral palsy is a small work? It's not easy if you are not the mother or a paid carer. Op abeg park go back village cus your husband wasn't truthful at the initial stage. This is a complicated issue.

Le2money:
You are right but blv me when we have headache, does cutting off the head from the neck the solution? The man can simply ask his own mom to come and look after the child and it would be an agreement btw the wife and husband....I think u understand my point too

l get u but u know we are different.
Is not easy to bear and understand when u were lied to.

Ulunne777:



E reach to give them.

I tire for them.

Everybody is asking the OP to care for the child without asking the Father to do same. If the mother could care for her for 7years, why can’t the father care for her?

The excuse that Men don’t make adequate care givers have been proven to be false. Go to care homes in the UK and see Nigerian men packing shit and cleaning yansh. But here in Nigeria, they’d expect their wife to do that for their own parents. E nr work again. Everybody dn wise.

advanceDNA:


The solution is that the wicked mother should come and carry her child....

U parted ways with a man

U still don't want another woman to enjoy him

shes mád

Very selfish woman indeed! I just pity the new wife and the poor girl who is in the middle of this. May God help her

Ginaz:


Whatever ! I am done with this topic. It’s so exhausting when people resort to emotional blackmail. Go and pick the child up yourself and take care of her!

So the logical thing is saying "God won't leave is own" to a child running away from the problem is your logical solution kudos

generalwo:
.... I once dated a lady who had 2 kids from a previous affair and adopted the kids as mine.... Until their mother cheated on me..... So na you know if your sense dey your backyard...... I no join those wen dey call people names because them get kids from their previous affairs..... No dey use the same stick beat everybody

Pls don't respond to that guy called Nozino, he has suddenly become a public nuisance on this thread. My happiness is that, he entered my trap. And will not leave until I say so.
Imagine this nozino from nowhere, cursing people who are just trying to profer a solution.

generalwo:
.... I once dated a lady who had 2 kids from a previous affair and adopted the kids as mine.... Until their mother cheated on me..... So na you know if your sense dey your backyard...... I no join those wen dey call people names because them get kids from their previous affairs..... No dey use the same stick beat everybody

Na only date? You should have married her.

Femifasola:

No long talk, donate your sister or mother

Look at this nonentity... do u even know ur parents? Senseless goat

Blessedmercy8:


Leave all this excuses. He didn't tell you, he didn't tell you. Did you try to find out?

Oh.. now you're helping him look for a wife... but if the mother had told you then to leave her man for her, would you have agreed?

You don enter now, see wetin dey inside, you come dey run.

One thing you should know is, marriage is not all that fun. It's a parcel full of surprises and you just have to brace yourself for it as each day unfolds. Or what were you expecting?

Sit down there. You don enter, you don enter.

Nwata fu ihe o choga, ahu e doe ya.
Happy married life.

Close that dirty mouth of yours! As if na she suppose get the blame if not the liar.

"Marrying him with his lies" was not your only mistake. Your foremost mistake was sleeping with a man who was not your husband. If you had followed the "manual of life" and stayed chaste until your wedding night, you won't be seven months pregnant today. Your pregnancy has complicated your situation and this is really very sad. You are going to have a challenging couple of years, given your family circumstances, from your previous post.

if anything, learn not to open your legs for a man who is not legally married to you, even though everyone else is doing that. That will save you loads of significant headache. We are living in the most complicated and dangerous period in human history. You will do well to follow and observe the manual for living. It will help lessen the number and type of significant challenges we expose ourselves to.

I wish you well!

H0711:


First of all our relationship was based on lies because he didn't tell me anything about her or her condition if he had told me from the onset I would have decided whether to quit or stay but he didn't tell me anything until the mother dropped her off and why would I have suffer for someone else responsibility. My only mistake was marrying him with his lies but his child in that condition is not my responsibility at all. If her mother that carried her for 9 long months cannot do it anymore me too I won't do it because I have done it for a week and I am already tired. Please if you think it is that easy if you are a woman you care enough for her come and marry him and take care of the child or if you are a man ask one of your sisters to come and replace me so she can take care of her.

God bless u

Ndidi2:
l get u but u know we are different.
Is not easy to bear and understand when u were lied to.

backnbeta:

Very selfish woman indeed! I just pity the new wife and the poor girl who is in the middle of this. May God help her

How is she selfish Biko? Did she impregnate herself? Most of you don’t understand the condition this child has. It isn’t easy to manage alone. The mother most likely had to stay with her 24/7 without any form of support, not even financial support from the child’s father. She did this for 7years. She dn try. Let the father continue.

Wahala be like bicycle!

Nozino:


Na only date? You should have married her.

... U for come marry woman wen dey under your roof go sleep with another man..... Uncle marryer

iammarvellux:

Pls don't respond to that guy called Nozino, he has suddenly become a public nuisance on this thread. My happiness is that, he entered my trap. And will not leave until I say so.
Imagine this nozino from nowhere, cursing people who are just trying to profer a solution.

Me? In your trap? Lol

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

It seems you've already made up your mind, although it's not easy and I can't blame you.

But even if you leave still be praying for the child. There's nothing God can not do.

generalwo:
... U for come marry woman wen dey under your roof go sleep with another man..... Uncle marryer

So you can’t accept that?

But you want this woman to accept and care 24/7 for an illegitimate child? You really dy mad.

achimendy:



It seems you've already made up your mind, although it's not easy and I can't blame you.

But even if you leave still be praying for the child. There's nothing God can not do.

You can help with the prayers you hear.

J0vialjune1:


OP please disregard this my former advice.
Kindly go back and apologize to your husband.
E get why

Apologize for what? For giving her stress or lying? Na so you dey find husband reach?

lastchild:
Believe me, if you leave that marriage you will regret it later.

This is what will happen when you leave.
1.. your husband will marry another wife and life goes on.
2..That child will be taken care of in that house you ran away from.
3.. you'll look for husband and will not find, you'll be labeled a single mother that was chased out of her husband's house over infidelity

Make we hear word! As if marriage is a golden prize. Your comment sounds like that of a teenager. OP runnnnnnn!

Le2money:
God bless u

and you too dear..

My advice will be for you to tell him to convince his mother again, maybe he should do more in term of responsibility to his daughter by increasing the tips or care taking stuff. Let his mother help you out in this situation.
I believe no matter what, if he talk to his mother , his mother will rethink and take care of his child for him. Maybe he stopped sending the poor woman upbring for his daughter that is why his mother return the child otherwise no mother will act that way if the son do his responsibility very well by send money, visit, and other stuff the child need.
Pls dnt abadon your marriage because of a the innocent girl, she might actually be a point of blessing to you.