BloomingDale:


There is no joining here. Your wife or husband is whomever you have sex with first. That is the Bible joining. You guys keep deceiving yourself with traditional/white wedding.

Jovialjune1:



Pls leave.

Since he can keep something as huge as a child, who knows what else he's keeping from you

You are justified to leave abeg.

H0711:


Yes I have made up my mind because it has not been easy for me because i take care of her everyday from morning until hubby get home at 7-8pm . It's been a week only and my head want to explode and my body want to give up. I am tired and the level of stress is too much for me in this my condition I need rest not all of this burden . I can't do it anymore. I am not leaving him because of his poor condition it is because I can't take care of his special need child , his financial state hasn't been a problem to me because no condition is permanent I know one day everything will be fine but i can't take care of his special need child in this my condition.

xproducer:


----

So say you abi? Where did you learn such foolishness? We should look to the inerrant word of God for truth!

"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.[/b]" - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

"[b]Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:1-2

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

dawnomike:
My churchy mind wants to tell you to stay in your marriage as it is for 'better for worse', but i surely can't judge you if you do otherwise as he was not truthful to you from the set go.

The burden is much as you presently heavily pregnant... If he can put his daughter in a place where she will be taken care of without affecting you, please, stay in your marriage.

Just in case he can't, give him space

Blessedmercy8:


What's the deceit there?

Ok, agreed the man didn't tell her but did she at anytime ask the man if he had a child somewhere and the man denied it? No! So no case here.

Shes just wants to have her cake and eat it. Shes not willing to sacrifice or support her spouse. The man is also having a hard time and needs her support but no, she's only concerned about herself alone. she's just being self-centered.

There's nothing like deceit. She should learn to ask questions in her dealings with people next time. I guess she got carried away by what she was enjoying then and never bothered to do the needful.

cocolacec:


let your husband get a houselhelp for you to asisst you with the girl.The little girl deserves all the love she can get from her family.Please let her stay with you as a service to humanity.It is not her fault she was born with disability.

Bobmarie:
You are mentally unstable.

Seek help.

Skyview01:


Divorce that man ASAP.
The foundation of the marriage was based on deception.
If you don't, you will regret 10 years down the line.

HRHQueenPhil:


I can't imagine what u are going through
This is very wicked of the man
I wld advise u don't leave ur marriage
Every marriage has test and this is one of it
Two solutions
-get a good maid that can assist with looking after the child
- u can start a business that helps u support ur man and leave d house so u won't constantly be in pain
Remember to lift the child up in prayers and fasting so it shall be well with u as well

tunnex190:


If you must know... Most of the marriages these years are mostly based on deception. We just know how to keep secrets more than one another. It's the ones that get leaked we know of.

eyinjuege:


Most likely it was a healthy pregnancy but difficult delivery.
Many healthy pregnancies with obstructed labour and delay in having a c-section will lead to poor oxygen supply to the baby, ending up with a cerebral palsy.
Some infections in pregnancy too may cause this, but most times thebparent may not even know about the infection.
Another cause is when a newborn healthy child develops a severe infection shortly after birth causing damage to the brain.
It's a sad situation.
Some children don't have so much damage to the brain due to early intervention and have mild forms of cerebral palsy where they can walk, talk a bit, eat by themselves and even have some high level of intelligence.
Unfortunately, some cases are severe like this child's own

Nozino:




Why can’t the girl’s father be there for her? I’m genuinely curious?

advanceDNA:


This is funny...u are guilt-tripping someone that has no experience taking care of kids with special needs, that cant walk, talk or do basic function.... the funniest part of your guilt-trippimh statement is the "little girl clearly needs you" ....

the little girl needs her mother not a pregnant stranger with a financially struggling man...

The mother that abandoned her with a man that wont be around and a woman thats a total stramger to the child is the one that needs this sermon.

.. I mean, what kind of mother abandons her special needs child with people that have no experience caring for such child..??

Ginaz:
My only worry is the child, But God always take care of its own. It is well!

UjuJoan2:


How old is this girl? I find it difficult to believe that taking care of her is as tiresome as you’ve been describing.

I understand that you have been taken unawares and your husband tricked you into taking care of this young girl. But such is life, you married him and must have been prepared to take all of him, the good and the bad.

You can leave if you want to, nobody will blame you for that.

But there is a little girl involved!!!

I know she is not your problem, her own mother abandoned her, her own father cannot be there for her and somehow she is now in your care. But life is full of unexpected situations.

This is a test of character and posterity will judge you for whatever decision you make now.

If it were me, I will stay. Not for the lying husband or his irresponsible ex, but for the little girl who clearly needs you.

Eaglesence:
.

Send the child to her mum. That is what your husband should do

UjuJoan2:


You are beating a dead horse. The child needs her mother, yes. But her mother is not emotionally ready to handle her that, especially since she is all alone with no support from the child’s father.

You wouldn’t know, you’ve never been in those shoes.

H0711:


Being a single mother is not a death sentence but the choice of staying and taking care if the child will lead me to develop high blood pressure and depression. My health is more important I want to be alive to take care of my son than dying for another person responsibility. Her mother is alive he can take her back so they can both raise her together.

UjuJoan2:


You are beating a dead horse. The child needs her mother, yes. But her mother is not emotionally ready to handle her that, especially since she is all alone with no support from the child’s father.

You wouldn’t know, you’ve never been in those shoes.

GraciousVictor:
is this your first time of interacting with jovialjune1?
lol she was sent packing from her husband's house after the DNA tests revealed that the triplets she delivered isn't in tandem with her husband.
The man got angry and kicked her ass out.
Ever since she has been frustrated and tend to bring her failed marital life to this forum.
That thread exposing her secrets was deleted by the mods, go through her posts you'll see how frustrated she is.
Just ignore her

PraiseHim4ever:


Now I understand

tibatobi:
u need to be wise .. the intention of that woman is to destabilize ur marriage and that is exactly what u want to do now....let me borrow u sense...be aggressive..go and look for the mother of that child and return that child back to her aggressively... If she bring her back 10 more time return her back 100 more time...be aggressive and be proactive don't be defensive in this matter protect ur marriage..

Melap:


Are you minding that twaat. Her post was so stupid and annoying, she just open mouth waaaa to say rubbish

mabea:
I believe the main reason you are leaving is not just that child but poverty.

Princewell2012:

When she have already concluded her plans to leave why did she came to nairaland.? To do what exactly?
Somebody have already told her that marriage is for better and for worst. Please don't encourage her to leave.

Secondly do you know if the problem is from the man himself? What is the evidence that she will not give birth to an slowpoke too if the man is the owner of her pregnant?
Happy Sunday.