₦airaland Forum

femeritus:
It's surprising to know that you're the one providing for the family and to a large extent, even your half brother. I actually took some hours to ponder over the story and read comments here too before commenting. I hope you find the time to read and act on my advice. It may look lengthy but I took my time because I know it'll benefit others in similar situations too.

The truth is, your wife and your brother may not have had anything even though the chances are slim. Don't mistrust your wife yet and don't let her and your brother know you're suspecting anything, otherwise you might do something stupid, scatter the family peace or even end up dead all because of suspicion. Things are not usually the way they seem. Sex is the easiest thing to have with a woman or man irrespective of their marital status. But it could also be the most difficult thing between a man and woman depending on the values held by both parties or even one of them. I have courted a lady for years. She liked me, no doubt. We even passed the nights together in her place or mine but never had sex even though I made the move
but she always resisted and I was not the type to rape a lady. Conversely, I've met a lady on the road or bus and we ended up in bed few hours later. My advice is, don't conclude yet but you need to act fast, otherwise it's a matter of time before they commit the act.

Whether they're sleeping now is not clear but some things are clear from your narrative. You seem like the good guy who doesn't want to offend people but end up being hurt. The world is too rough for people like you. Secondly, you FAILED woefully in protecting your wife. Women need protection and assurance but you left your wife helpless and at the receiving end. Who knows how many times your wife must have told you about how your brother berated her or if she didn't tell you, she must have cried many times behind you wondering why you hated her so much or why she was so worthless to you. You failed to show her how much she meant to you when you allowed your brother turn her to a piece of rag. Now it seems she has realised you're not a hiding place for her and has decided to play along.

Don't get me wrong, she may not have given in yet. Just pray that she's still praying that you man up and help her reclaim her position in the family. That's if she is not already enjoying your brother and that is why I said act fast before darkness covers you up.

Your brother is playing a mind game on you and your wife. Don't think he's sleeping with her yet because I found it difficult to believe that he would ask your wife for an outing before you or cut meat for your wife before you with her teeth. He also called your wife before you and your wife picked just once after you had called her 4 times. It's either he's passing a message to your wife that you're nothing before him and he can do anything to your wife without you batting an eyelid (which is too bad and you're to blame for this) OR he's so innocent he doesn't see anything wrong with those acts. Afterall, he didn't need to ask your wife for an outing before you, if he had something to hide from you. He also didn't need to call your wife after she had failed to pick your call. By the way,I thought your wife was going to make an excuse that she wasn't with her phone when you called her, that she just picked her phone now when the other call came but telling you that she was trying to pick your call was DUMB and unbelievable at 4 different times.

MY ADVICE
Draw close to your wife and make her have a sense of belonging. Apologise for treating her like a slave and allowing your brother do worse.

Set clear boundaries with your brother. Don't give the impression that you're suspecting infidelity. Just let him know that you feel your wife has suffered a lot from you and him through the way she has been treated and you want to right the wrongs. Do this and keep your eyes and ears open. If you take your time, you'll soon find out the truth. If your wife is already bleeping him, they'll still not stop and that will give you the time to catch them red-handed. It's only a matter of time. Such things don't go on forever. There are so many ways you can find out but this my epistle is already too long to start saying that. By restoring your wife, you'll be at peace that you have mended fences and if she eventually turns out a hole, you can at least satisfy your conscience and have a genuine reason to move on.

Don't listen to people telling you to chase her out. Even though it may come as first thought, the truth is you have no evidence yet. Put your mind at rest, be the man in your family. It is not too late. There's never a wrong time to do the right thing. You can still put your brother in his place. If your brother doesn't care about your happiness, why care about his? The children you said have helped his mental condition may not even be the one doing it, it may be the way your wife is servicing him or the way she is pretending to play along so as have her peace and not to be the scapegoat. She may be giving your brother some false hope just to have her peace while praying God should give you the courage to caution your brother. I think that woman is bottling a lot and is suffering within.

Your metal health too is important so stop thinking about things that may not be happening and focus on what you know and can repair.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

truthCoder:
Not once did you condemn the step brother's actions. You kept on finding ways to put the blame basket at the wife.

You talk about 'expectations' for the wife. You act like nothing is expected from the idiotic brother.

Let the OP man up and protect his family.

HarunaWest:
From the look of things. He has a secret that you don't know. A secret between he and your wife. I don't think they are having an affair. First thing first, run a coded DNA test on your kids to confirm paternity before asking other questions

obiekunie01:
Bro what really do you want to hear from us that you don't already know but too scared to face it.

is it the fact that your step-brother has used the frustration from his ex-cheating wife to knack your hoe-wife's brains out and turn her to his sex slave just to prove to himself that he is still a worthy man and that all women are cheats!

or you just want us to tell you to relax that you will soon end-up 6feet below so they have the freedom they so desire so as to continue their unhindered kpanshin.

or you just want to hear from us that your mother is also aware that they are fucking themselves mad but advised your hoe-wife to keep answering your step-bro whenever he calls her so she wont provoke your step-bro into spilling the beans on her.

ok i get it - you want us to tell you that your wife is so used to fuking your bro that she is no longer afraid of what your reaction will be if you finds out.

Ok. let me tell you this, whichever way you want it, you are already a loser.

You either man up and cutout with the little respect you have for yourself by divorcing you wicked asawo wife - dont even give her any reason for the divorce. just go to court and seek to divorce her on irreconcilable difference and fear for your life. that way, you would av defeated them totally. (thou when you divorce her, be rest assured she will move in with your step-bro. but he will dump her after 6 months cause she will no longer give him tht excitement of fukn your wife).

But if you decide to continue with the marriage, i guarantee you that you will soon be dead - max two years.

take care of you bro.

Babapyro:
My ex wife did the same thing before I made her disappear

Emarvel:
One of the kids, belong to your brother.
Or
Your brother knows a very deep dirty secret about her and she's afraid, he'll reveal it.
Hence, the reason she always comply.

Rilwayne001:
You sounded weak.

GboyegaD:
Why not have a real conversation with her instead of acting police catch the thief?

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

sukkot:
lol bro i couldnt respond to you in that thread . i am blocked in travel section till aug31. how you dey ? ehn e be like say na ibadan all the actions dey oooo make i come chill for bodija

Wallade:
The half brother is an outsider in that marriage. I have no business with him, I can't focus on him because he is a mere temptation or trial personified in that marriage. The half brother is inconsequential.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

Rilwayne001:
I see you really give the guy knock for Hin head, the thing pain am well well and he got no option than to shut you up in that section

Anyways Ibadan make sense oh. And this one you know about Bodija, Omo, I dey fear you oh! Even me sef never chop Bodija life wella. But plenty life dey here oh!! Lol

sylve11:
@bolded, do you know IT guy who can do that?

truthCoder:
Apologies, but it is either you are not married or you dont have a close relationship with your siblings or both.

Your brother is never an outsider if you grew up together.

Some people’s best friends are their siblings.

A husband must protect his family. Period. In this situation, the husband has done nothing to protect his wife or kids. He is only sulking online and sharing distrust about his wife.

If you believe the woman needs no protection and should be the suspect here, no problem. Thats your opinion. I have also shared mine.

Cheers

Timiblanko:
Does she use WhatsApp? I have an app that I can give to you that you can use to track her WhatsApp messages.

Wallade:
I don't maintain a close relationship with my siblings in view of my marriage; every one minds their marriage.

If you fail to define the boundaries between your initial family (siblings, parents and extended family) and your own family (wife and kids), you will have more family issues to address.

You must get to the point where you realize that your brother, siblings and parents are outsiders in your marriage.

Let me ask you: how many toasters do you want to protect your wife from? Are you gonna be picking fights with everyone you suspect to be hitting on your wife or to be dating your wife? I suspect you are a SIMP already.

These are my opinions about the op and you; I am entitled to my opinion.

grop1040:
Having to go through so many posts here gives me mixed feelings but not a judgmental mentality. Me myself and I knows what to do from today. i admit that I sulked in, I admit that am a weakling even though deep down am not, but I can be classified as one since I didn't man up and do what i ought to do at the right time. Let me quickly clear some air here so I don't get misinterpreted.

The issue of him yelling at her was never in my presence, she will always report to me because when most of the yelling happened, I was never present there. The only time wotowoto was sprinkled on my face was when she asked about their outing, and the giving her meat he already bit off from. Aside thsi very issue, my marriage have been encompassed with so many issues, my wife lacks respect for me, not because I dont deserve to earn it, but it seems her upbringing is somewhat the reason, and yes I dont trust her, so many things have occurred that signals infidelity, but havent really gotten a vital evidence to hit the nail on the head.

Now listen guys, there are other branches to this issue that I havent laid down, because if I had done included it to the initial post, you guys wont highlight the main issue at first. Most times when we have issues, she seems to call my brother to call me, because she feels hes the only one that can convince me, though many attimes i stand my ground on my decision and he does nothing but to respect it, though he dishes out advises to serve interest of reconciliation. So after plenty reports to him, he one day asked me to get me a girlfriend that instead of getting mad at all her shenanigan's, that having a girl out there will at least make things most soft in accordance to my reactions, I was like well I have a gf (which I dont) that shes actually the one that have made me reduce the reactions towards her whenever she messes up, I wanted to see what he'd say next based on my suspicion of them both to know if hes trying to set me up, so I was like though the girl have relocated to Canada so we ended the relationship. Lo and behold, one day my wife and I were arguing, it was issue over suspicion of her having an affair, omo the told me point blank " i don hear ur gist" u get gf outside. The way it sounded, she was 100% sure of the statement and my mind went straight to my brother. The whole ish is stringed together in a way where I just feel i dont know where to spread my net to actually get to know whats going on. But then I leave everything to God, though am watching.

grop1040:
Hi guys,

Something happened 9 months ago, I decided to keep mute or probably just wait for the right time to commence my investigation to actually know what is going on between my step brother and my wife.

So I'm 9 years already into my marriage, and we have 3 kids. My step brother who is the 2nd of my mum has temperamental problem.

He's bossy and very vulgar plus he's controlling, everybody knows him for that, he was married 13 years ago, however after his family relocated to the USA, he later found
out that his 3kids aren't his, the marriage ended like that, ever since then he's been traumatized, emotionally and any other way one can describe him as. Sometimes in order to at least feel that children presence around him, he would ask me to have my children come over to his place for some days, and I could witness how that really helped him over time, but then I noticed the absence of his wife started making him familiarize with my wife in certain odd manners which I was not really down with.

For example, if he comes to our house, most times comes around with a friend, either female or male, my wife seems not to be the attache type who would sit with us in the living room, she will rather be upstairs in the room, I have witnessed cases where he will shout at her, saying how can everybody be here and ur there upstairs?

There was even a time when one of the visitors he came with sighed and made face in a way that defined, wow, "was that necessary". Or times when he will ask her to cook stew for her, if she forgets or probably didnt want to do it because she knew it isnt her duty, she will be yelled upon, you'll here things like, where
is the egusi i told u to make, even the one you made last time, u didnt put enough this and that

Now yall might think am a dullard or a simp, or someone too relaxed as gentle and as patient as I am, I be original demon, if I start my madness, the result will end in eternal damage, and our family background from my mums side where this my brother was born, we tend to uphold unity over adversity, so when things like this occur, mum would rather have us calm and not fight so unity can continue.

So sometimes last year, the major issues started grooming that made me start to think if there was something going on with my step and my wife, it started with when the kids were with him, so madam and I were suppose to go for outing, so we decided to branch at his place to check up on the kids, on getting there while in his living room, he said to my wife "I like your hair" she responded thanks, he was like are u guys going out, I was like yea am taking her out, next thing she asked my madam, so when are we going on
our own outing? I shrugged and didnt understand where that came from, though she didnt answer him.

While we were leaving, I was waiting for her to bring up the topic and put it to me that why did ur brother say such a thing, even if its a joke, its too expensive, but she didnt, I brought up the topic, and she was like shes surprised too that she never thought he would say such a thing.

5 days later, we had a family party in his house, my other brothers, cousins and my mum, my children were there, while the
caterer were cooking outside, and we were all in his living room drinking, he opted to get some meat to dish and give everybody to at least be chewing something, he served it round but when it got to my wives turn, the one he already bit off from was what he gave her, funny thing is, it was only my mum and myself that saw the scene, my wife was not aware, that was when I knew something could be going on.

Afterwards, I put the ish through to my wife, she acted disgusted and said she cant blv he would do such, that although my mum already called her to say the same thing. So I asked details of what she discussed with my mum, she said my mum advised her that whenever he calls her, she shouldnt pick, that when he knows its obvious that shes avoiding his call, he probably would want to report to her, and then she will now break the silence of what she my wife have been experiencing with him thus her refusal to pick his call.

So I called my mum and I was like being calm, patient and cooperating with the useless policy of the family doesnt mean that the recent things happening won't seat any longer with me, that am gonna have to confront him and put him in his place. My mum begged me and begged, cos she's 76 years old, I considered and I had no choice but to cooperate with her advise.

The funny thing is, after this whole ish, I asked her that if he calls, will you pick, she answered yes I will, but I will have to see what he has to say first to know if I will continue the conversation or not, I was like for real? You must be kidding me, it means something that I am not suppose to know of is happening, she was like oh well its ur fault, why didn't u confront him instead of listening to ur mums advise.

Since then, I have let it slide, but what actually made me bring up this issue again, was when I went to my bros house to pick some stuffs my sister sent from the USA, madam was off to the market, I called her to ask if she would like the only size 10 of the shoe I saw cos she wears 9, she didnt pick after calling like 4 times, immediately my brother called her with his own phone, she picked and was like sorry when you called I try to pick but it was nt connecting, I just weak at that moment sey wetin dey sup.

Guys, ladies, from deep experiences u guys must have gone through, what do u think could be wrong and what do yall think I should do, something could be happening
that if I dont unravel early, it might be the cause of ones demise or destruction.

sukkot:
lmao bro thats entrapment na hehe. you bait me into an argument knowing you are a mod and can ban me. no be juju be dat ? ehn Rilwayne send me invtie now make i come chop life for ibadan. i done chop life for ibadan befoe sha around that UI region also. i like ibadan. in fact i fit move go ibadan . i follow this youtuber, she is from ibadan. she is always showcasing ibadan life and food. ibadan has the best food oooo

obiekunie01:
Bro what really do you want to hear from us that you don't already know but too scared to face it.

is it the fact that your step-brother has used the frustration from his ex-cheating wife to knack your hoe-wife's brains out and turn her to his sex slave just to prove to himself that he is still a worthy man and that all women are cheats!

or you just want us to tell you to relax that you will soon end-up 6feet below so they have the freedom they so desire so as to continue their unhindered kpanshin.

or you just want to hear from us that your mother is also aware that they are fucking themselves mad but advised your hoe-wife to keep answering your step-bro whenever he calls her so she wont provoke your step-bro into spilling the beans on her.

ok i get it - you want us to tell you that your wife is so used to fuking your bro that she is no longer afraid of what your reaction will be if you finds out.

Ok. let me tell you this, whichever way you want it, you are already a loser.

You either man up and cutout with the little respect you have for yourself by divorcing you wicked asawo wife - dont even give her any reason for the divorce. just go to court and seek to divorce her on irreconcilable difference and fear for your life. that way, you would av defeated them totally. (thou when you divorce her, be rest assured she will move in with your step-bro. but he will dump her after 6 months cause she will no longer give him tht excitement of fukn your wife).

But if you decide to continue with the marriage, i guarantee you that you will soon be dead - max two years.

take care of you bro.

grop1040:
Having to go through so many posts here gives me mixed feelings but not a judgmental mentality. Me myself and I knows what to do from today. i admit that I sulked in, I admit that am a weakling even though deep down am not, but I can be classified as one since I didn't man up and do what i ought to do at the right time. Let me quickly clear some air here so I don't get misinterpreted.

The issue of him yelling at her was never in my presence, she will always report to me because when most of the yelling happened, I was never present there. The only time wotowoto was sprinkled on my face was when she asked about their outing, and the giving her meat he already bit off from. Aside thsi very issue, my marriage have been encompassed with so many issues, my wife lacks respect for me, not because I dont deserve to earn it, but it seems her upbringing is somewhat the reason, and yes I dont trust her, so many things have occurred that signals infidelity, but havent really gotten a vital evidence to hit the nail on the head.

Now listen guys, there are other branches to this issue that I havent laid down, because if I had done included it to the initial post, you guys wont highlight the main issue at first. Most times when we have issues, she seems to call my brother to call me, because she feels hes the only one that can convince me, though many attimes i stand my ground on my decision and he does nothing but to respect it, though he dishes out advises to serve interest of reconciliation. So after plenty reports to him, he one day asked me to get me a girlfriend that instead of getting mad at all her shenanigan's, that having a girl out there will at least make things most soft in accordance to my reactions, I was like well I have a gf (which I dont) that shes actually the one that have made me reduce the reactions towards her whenever she messes up, I wanted to see what he'd say next based on my suspicion of them both to know if hes trying to set me up, so I was like though the girl have relocated to Canada so we ended the relationship. Lo and behold, one day my wife and I were arguing, it was issue over suspicion of her having an affair, omo the told me point blank " i don hear ur gist" u get gf outside. The way it sounded, she was 100% sure of the statement and my mind went straight to my brother. The whole ish is stringed together in a way where I just feel i dont know where to spread my net to actually get to know whats going on. But then I leave everything to God, though am watching.

femeritus:
It's surprising to know that you're the one providing for the family and to a large extent, even your half brother. I actually took some hours to ponder over the story and read comments here too before commenting. I hope you find the time to read and act on my advice. It may look lengthy but I took my time because I know it'll benefit others in similar situations too.

The truth is, your wife and your brother may not have had anything even though the chances are slim. Don't mistrust your wife yet and don't let her and your brother know you're suspecting anything, otherwise you might do something stupid, scatter the family peace or even end up dead all because of suspicion. Things are not usually the way they seem. Sex is the easiest thing to have with a woman or man irrespective of their marital status. But it could also be the most difficult thing between a man and woman depending on the values held by both parties or even one of them. I have courted a lady for years. She liked me, no doubt. We even passed the nights together in her place or mine but never had sex even though I made the move
but she always resisted and I was not the type to rape a lady. Conversely, I've met a lady on the road or bus and we ended up in bed few hours later. My advice is, don't conclude yet but you need to act fast, otherwise it's a matter of time before they commit the act.

Whether they're sleeping now is not clear but some things are clear from your narrative. You seem like the good guy who doesn't want to offend people but end up being hurt. The world is too rough for people like you. Secondly, you FAILED woefully in protecting your wife. Women need protection and assurance but you left your wife helpless and at the receiving end. Who knows how many times your wife must have told you about how your brother berated her or if she didn't tell you, she must have cried many times behind you wondering why you hated her so much or why she was so worthless to you. You failed to show her how much she meant to you when you allowed your brother turn her to a piece of rag. Now it seems she has realised you're not a hiding place for her and has decided to play along.

Don't get me wrong, she may not have given in yet. Just pray that she's still praying that you man up and help her reclaim her position in the family. That's if she is not already enjoying your brother and that is why I said act fast before darkness covers you up.

Your brother is playing a mind game on you and your wife. Don't think he's sleeping with her yet because I found it difficult to believe that he would ask your wife for an outing before you or cut meat for your wife before you with her teeth. He also called your wife before you and your wife picked just once after you had called her 4 times. It's either he's passing a message to your wife that you're nothing before him and he can do anything to your wife without you batting an eyelid (which is too bad and you're to blame for this) OR he's so innocent he doesn't see anything wrong with those acts. Afterall, he didn't need to ask your wife for an outing before you, if he had something to hide from you. He also didn't need to call your wife after she had failed to pick your call. By the way,I thought your wife was going to make an excuse that she wasn't with her phone when you called her, that she just picked her phone now when the other call came but telling you that she was trying to pick your call was DUMB and unbelievable at 4 different times.

MY ADVICE
Draw close to your wife and make her have a sense of belonging. Apologise for treating her like a slave and allowing your brother do worse.

Set clear boundaries with your brother. Don't give the impression that you're suspecting infidelity. Just let him know that you feel your wife has suffered a lot from you and him through the way she has been treated and you want to right the wrongs. Do this and keep your eyes and ears open. If you take your time, you'll soon find out the truth. If your wife is already bleeping him, they'll still not stop and that will give you the time to catch them red-handed. It's only a matter of time. Such things don't go on forever. There are so many ways you can find out but this my epistle is already too long to start saying that. By restoring your wife, you'll be at peace that you have mended fences and if she eventually turns out a hole, you can at least satisfy your conscience and have a genuine reason to move on.

Don't listen to people telling you to chase her out. Even though it may come as first thought, the truth is you have no evidence yet. Put your mind at rest, be the man in your family. It is not too late. There's never a wrong time to do the right thing. You can still put your brother in his place. If your brother doesn't care about your happiness, why care about his? The children you said have helped his mental condition may not even be the one doing it, it may be the way your wife is servicing him or the way she is pretending to play along so as have her peace and not to be the scapegoat. She may be giving your brother some false hope just to have her peace while praying God should give you the courage to caution your brother. I think that woman is bottling a lot and is suffering within.

Your metal health too is important so stop thinking about things that may not be happening and focus on what you know and can repair.