₦airaland Forum

Blackman101:
if the story is true oh, cos i have my reservations, My God forgive you, Some secretes are taken to the grave.

It is true.

forerunner022:
I put it to you that, you already wished to have sex with your ex on your official assignment journey, that's why of all places it is your ex sister's place you choose to lodge. I thought when someone is married, he or she should cut ties with his or her ex by all means necessary to avoid such temptations. Now the deed is done and your conscience has been eating you up for the past ten years. But wait o, e get wetin you never tell us; where did you tell your husband you lodge that night you had sex with your ex?

He knows the truth about where I slept but didnt opened up about ....

bonnyhope:
This does not sound like a real life story

Women cannot be this useless

I disagree

Okay

AlanSugar:
Fake arse op.
You slept with your ex and you suspect your husband now knows, question is, are you gay cus I'm seeing your genre as male here?

I wonder how u were able to excel in English language in your WAEC or NECO. And you can't see that the story is attributed to Relationship matters. Olodo!

Elsueno:


This story na pure lie
Even d sister sef no go allow u to sleep in same room with her brother, she go invite u to stay with her. Muslims are very sensitive to these kind of stuff...Even as a joke she no go allow u to fuvck 4 d house. Now even if dat ur ex no get sense him go sleep for parlor & ask u to take d room Incase his sister did not ask u to share d room with her.

iN CONCLUSION, THIS IS MADE UP BULLSHYT

Hhhmmmm, This is another twist to the story. May God bless u with wisdom.

I am so tired replying all these brainless human who can not read carefully. Go to the bottom of what you regards as BS and see for your self. Olodo!

anonimi:
Did you change to a woman to type this BS

perezeghi:
While your husband has written his path, you later joined in to write yours......
Well good that both of you are on NL. Go on and make a comment on his and maybe he'll make on yours.
For a married woman you are catching cruise and no iota of shame.


https://www.nairaland.com/7284714/wifes-ex-boyfriend-ruin-marriage

Waooh. I didn't know about this. As you can see, shit happens in life. So many marriages are in trouble. This story is legit.

Daughterboard:
This is one of the approaches to adopt. Before Op confesses to her husband, she should first secure an accommodation. Move her belongings to her new accommodation and from there makes a call to her husband to confess and ask for his forgiveness. She should not attempt to return to her husband until he personally persuaded her to return. It's a form of reversed psychology on the husband and the entire family.

Hhmmmmm!

No offence, u sounds like a kid.

obaaderemi:
Fake ass busted.

sammhi:
Ur moniker shows you are Male so who is the husband or U be gay ?

You are so daft to even believe it was my story. You had time to check monika, but you could not read where the story was taken from? Olodo!

otosa:
The most significant thing about the cemetery is that it full of untold stories.

God bless you.

SisterAnn:
The last time I saw the guy I gave my virginity, I gave him a wide berth.

You just earn my follow. You are one of the few sincere person right here.

EZENDIZUOGU:
Just ask God for forgiveness and move on. Men are generally jealous , kill the idea of confessing to your husband, unless you are tied of that marriage because your husband will always use it against you anytime there is misunderstanding between you both. my 10k advice

True

Ademoore07:
Honestly, i once experience this.

Some people right here will still call u a liar.

oke2018:
Fake or no fake , things dey occur , even now things dey occur well well .

Don't know that. Or they chose not to. Things dey really occur.

jaydee87:
Smilessssssss...
Don't let anybody make you feel bad ooo..
U made a mistake a decade ago or should I say, you wanted the mistake to happen and it happen. Let it remain in the past joor. Since you know you are vulnerable to your ex try all your best not to contact him again. That is the best way to avoid such. For your husband be more loving to him. What he don't know won't hurt him. If you tell him, he may forgive you or not but he won't forget it and he will have dis resentment towards you and can you live with that?
Just be more loving to him henceforth.

Thank you for sharing your story..

Thank you Jaydee

daylay7:
I was in love with this guy so much that we do everything together. Aside from the fact that we share the same goals, religion put us far from each other. He was a muslim and I, a christian. I loss my virginity to him (we were both naive in that practice anyway). My parents forbid me and we drifted apart but I loved him still.

I met another guy afterward who shares the same belief with me and we got married three years later. Infact, my ex came for the wedding and celebrated me even during the reception( my husband already know his story and was not surprised when he saw him at the wedding).

A year after the birth of my son, I had an official assignment in another location where my ex's sister resided and because I could not complete the assignment that day, I decided to sleep over at her place. But on getting there, I saw my ex sitting in the living room. It was already late as at that time and I couldn't go back or book for a hotel and I decided to chilled out, telling myself that nothing must happen between us that day. My greatest mistake!

The apartment was just 3 bedroom. A master bedroom for the sister, a room for the children and the other for a visitor. Now we are having two visitors who once shared a thing for each other. My ex invited me into the room but I declined telling him I would rather sleep on the floor in the living room or he should bring a matrass for me. He brought the mattress in the visitors room into the living room and we both slept on it. One thing led to another in the middle of the night.... . And it happened! Coincidentally, my husband called at that time. I had to switched off my phone.

When I got back home the next day, I apologized to my husband that I had a flat battery and he didn't say anything but my husband never looked at me the same again. He never quarreled or said anything even after couple of years later. But the way he talks sometimes as if he kws I am hiding a secret from him and he wants me to open up to him. My fear is that if I should open up, I might lose my marriage and my family. What happened between my ex and I was a one time thing. I never went back or saw him again. It has been 10 years now and I am still feeling bad about it especially when he talked about cheating couple.

This feeling is eating me up. I don't know if I should still open up to him or I should forever remain silent about it....

cc: Relationship matters

Okay my 2 cents - this won’t be popular but ….

Well before you decide on what to do- you better take advice from someone who has walked in your shoes.
There are many men who have cheated on their spouses . Their wives know or may have a hint but the husband will never confess. If the wife brings it up - they may admit it.

Let your husband open his mouth and ask you. For the fact that he hasn’t and has had sexual intercourse with you over the past 10 years means either :-
1. He’s cheated/ cheating and believes you both are on level playing field.
2. He knows nothing but your guilt is betraying you.
3. He knows and has forgiven you already.

The option 3 man does not exist.
There is no way a man will not bring such an issue up. We are not wired that way.

So my advice and what I do to rid my conscience of guilt. Is bend over backwards for things I would not do for a certain period. In short I’ll try and balance the scales.
So for instance let’s say cheating on my spouse counts as 100 Naira.
I might clean and mop the whole house ( 20 Naira ) - something I detest doing .
I might take the kids to school for the whole week ( her role) 20 naira
I might take her out to a fancy restaurant ( my treat) 20 naira.
Etc to etc till I balance the scales.

You cannot take a chance he will forgive you if you tell him. That’s for the tv and books . Confess to God and live your life . ( it was a one time thing)

Philipmaxwell:
My dear, having read your story, I can tell you there was nothing accidental about what transpired that night. Maybe you didn't plan to cheat on your husband before you got to the house, but that was the only thing in your head, once you saw this ex.

Even teenagers know enough not to share a room with an ex. But you not only shared a room, but you also shared a mattress, and except me to believe any of what followed was accidental? As if that's not enough, your husband called why you were in the act, and your response was to turn off your phone because all you wanted to do at the time was focus on cheating on him. If it was accidental at all, any call will be enough to distract you and give you time to come to your senses, not to talk of that of your husband. But all you could do was switch it off. My dear, you are a cheat and you do not deserve the man you are with.

Why do I say so? I'm very certain you didn't feel any guilt after the whole thing. The only reason you are feeling guilty now is that your husband has been so loving that you can't even find a reason to justify the evil act, whether introspectively or retrospectively. You have come to see that he deserves a better woman, that's why you feel guilty.

Too bad, he will probably forgive you if you tell him. You don't deserve that much. No cheater does

Hhmmmm. Thanks

daylay7:
You just earn my follow. You are one of the few sincere person right here.

How is that?
Ok you are the Op...
Peace!

rickleye:
Okay my 2 cents - this won’t be popular but ….

Well before you decide on what to do- you better take advice from someone who has walked in your shoes.
There are many men who have cheated on their spouses . Their wives know or may have a hint but the husband will never confess. If the wife brings it up - they may admit it.

Let your husband open his mouth and ask you. For the fact that he hasn’t and has had sexual intercourse with you over the past 10 years means either :-
1. He’s cheated/ cheating and believes you both are on level playing field.
2. He knows nothing but your guilt is betraying you.
3. He knows and has forgiven you already.

The option 3 man does not exist.
There is no way a man will not bring such an issue up. We are not wired that way.

So my advice and what I do to rid my conscience of guilt. Is bend over backwards for things I would not do for a certain period. In short I’ll try and balance the scales.
So for instance let’s say cheating on my spouse counts as 100 Naira.
I might clean and mop the whole house ( 20 Naira ) - something I detest doing .
I might take the kids to school for the whole week ( her role) 20 naira
I might take her out to a fancy restaurant ( my treat) 20 naira.
Etc to etc till I balance the scales.

You cannot take a chance he will forgive you if you tell him. That’s for the tv and books . Confess to God and live your life . ( it was a one time thing)

Hmmm!

SisterAnn:
How is that?
Ok you are the Op...
Peace!

Peace out

Rinoxy:
Nice one man, but u need do more; stop her from coming to ur house permanently.

Thanks pal. That's the first and last time. I really wanted to have sex with her but I killed the urge.

Now just business between us and she's about to get me a website to build for someone.

Married Women have sex secretly and no one not even hubby will know.

beyondPen:
Thanks pal. That's the first and last time. I really wanted to have sex with her but I killed the urge.

Now just business between us and she's about to get me a website to build for someone.

Married Women have sex secretly and no one not even hubby will know.

Good u killed the urge.
Happy weekend man.

beyondPen:
Thanks pal. That's the first and last time. I really wanted to have sex with her but I killed the urge.

Now just business between us and she's about to get me a website to build for someone.

Married Women have sex secretly and no one not even hubby will know.

Thanks for sharing. Some people will still say you are lying.

daylay7:
Thanks for sharing. Some people will still say you are lying.

Its real. Women can go undercover and hide their tracks.

We men don't care. Married men do it openly as long as they know nobody has time to go tell their wives they are cheating.

All of u forming saint are worst than the OP shit happens,the true test of love is when no one is looking even the mommy GO go open leg enjoy few rounds !

Once u tell ur hubby just pack and go

I won't dignify you with a response, it's not worth it. Peace.

daylay7:
I wonder how u were able to excel in English language in your WAEC or NECO. And you can't see that the story is attributed to Relationship matters. Olodo!

daylay7:
No offence, u sounds like a kid.

You sound like a liar.

ifinger:
All of u forming saint are worst than the OP shit happens,the true test of love is when no one is looking even the mommy GO go open leg enjoy few rounds !

Once u tell ur hubby just pack and go

The stupid op is a man. Fake story.

AlanSugar:
I won't dignify you with a response, it's not worth it. Peace.

Just admit u mess up. Too quick to judge and spill trash.
Weldone sir

obaaderemi:
You sound like a liar.

Only a liar knows who lies. That means you are the king of liars!

obaaderemi:
The stupid op is a man. Fake story.

Still making the same mistake. Has the OP ever denied that he is a man? or you don't know how to read and understand. I don't blame you since u only passed English language through an arranged special center. Olodo!