₦airaland Forum

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Richy4:
Recipe for a disaster...
So after the marriage, one of the kids falls ill and the doctors says 160K or no attention would be given to the kid in the hospital, Considering the fact he has no source of income, what will you guys do?..

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Shoodboi:
He is in his mid 30's and wants to get married despite having no tangible source of income. It appears that he's only interested in getting married because he's getting older.

Don't throw your children into a meat grinder for "love". You'll be responsible for fending for your kids and not him. Hold onto your job (and even the marriage) until things get a bit better. He doesn't need to be rich. But he does need to be stable. And the fact that you are coming in with two kids makes that super important.

Karleb:
This was exactly my thoughts about a guy earning 100k who has decided to use napkins rather than pampers and he and his wives were being hailed for being prudent.

What if during the course of delivery, there were complications and the doctors demand he pays 300k upfront for surgery?

Nigerians sha will never learn.

When you remind them of what lies ahead, they will tell you that God is in control, that he shall provide... Making people who decides to plan before venturing into it look like they don't believe in God

lomprico:
Ha! I'm a man o! But marrying a jobless guy? Hmmm
Does he have any handwork or skill he uses to pay his bills?

TheGift:
He needs to get His act together first.

You don't have any of the irrational reasons society gives to women to hurry. You have married . You have had kids.

He should go to His place, take six months to one year and sort His business out. Then come back when He is ready to take care of Himself and a family.

ibechris:
This is not love...how can u take this foolish risk.

There is a an adage that says,eyes dey eat before mouth.

This isn't love madam. At least u have been married before use your common sense.

If u follow this man blindly without a job,who will feed your children? he loves your kids,how just imagine!

Advice:
Pls,leave marriage and let that man go fix himself up,how can a jobless man marry u?

Are u going forward or u are going backward?

What tribe would allow this,a man who has nothing doing to marry u...I wonder how u guys foist poverty and hopelessness upon yourselves.

Your salary isn't enough and now u want to abandoned your job for marriage without an income.

Pls,use your tongue to count your teeth.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Xedmark:
Hmmm...what bothers me is why you want to get married to man who still fall to the category of "I'm looking for a job" in his mid 30s. He has a business in Zaria, can he cater for both of you and the kids, provide shelter, pay the school fees, rent, emergency health issues and so on?? Follow him to Zaria if only he can provide and don't follow his words until you see proves and glaring evidences that the business is enough to provide for you.

iHart:
He has a business and you said he is jobless, what do you mean?

Savedday:
What am trying to understand is, what kind of a man will marry a woman, that has 2 kinds, when he has no income?

That man is not in his right senses, you have use juju for the man. That is why he want to marry an overused woman with two kinds.

What a shame!

mukthar2000:
Sister never made a mistake that would lead to future regret for u pls, my own advice is that stay in ur location with ur present job, convince him to come to ABUJA if truly the love u and ur two kids, instead of u going to met him in Zaria with two kids, ABUJA is more industrious and well paid than Kaduna zaria.
But always have this at the back of ur mind that if the single guy get a better job , by then his eyes might open that single mother are not for his level, I believed by then u might have quite ur ABUJA job, sister be wise pls, ur kids and ur job are ur husband presently, any man should just be additional for u pls. BY WISE

bennyflipy:
People get mind sha, catering for 3 people plus yourself without a good source of income in this economy no be play o.

Zaria of all places sef, let him move to Abuja jare, within 1 month he must get something doing.

XullySwt:
My dear thank you for this ur comment.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Powersurge:
1. What business is he doing?
2. How was he able to live for two years when he has no job? Does he have other sources of income?
3. What skills does he have?


People get mind sha. I am in my mid 30s I am currently earning around 200k yet I won't dare marriage unless my wife is earning something as well (at least 50k).

I perceived you guys are from the north. Things could be different over there (cheaper things, food might not be a problem etc). If not, person no get source of income won marry a woman with kids. Hian!

My advice. Study the business. Is it yielding something? If you guys put more effort can it sustain you? How are other people doing the same business performing? If you even forget your career and marry him are u sure after growing the business he wouldn't bring other people that will be benefiting from your labor? Do you see him as ambitious person? How badly do you need the marriage? Do you think your children need a father figure? Sit down and sincerely answer these questions. Then make your decision.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

XullySwt:
My dear thank you for this ur comment. 2 kids dear