₦airaland Forum

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

OP, this is the best advice. You don't need to read any other again.
And mind you you, he might be obsessed with your plumpy body.

ismhab:
This is the best advice, but don't you think for the husband to be, to move to Abuja na one wahala? because living in Abuja no be easy, life very expensive, from shelter, food, utilities e.t.c

Lagos is also expensive. It all depends on the location. Same applies to Abuja.
Not taking a risk is a risk on its own.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

May the God of the universe bless you for this advise

aylive02:




Don't listen to any comments again. Just follow what the poster above me said. Peace be unto u

Lol
What of if pesin tell her to paste aza, wetin she go do?

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

What you will get here is intellectual advice. Go for a reputable man of God and get spiritual one. He may change.

XullySwt:
Wow
Thanks alot for your time and contribution.
This comment will do alot in my future decisions. Good continue blessing your family.

As a gentleman and on behalf of those children, all i have to say make tonder faya yu if u do dis kyn mumu thing.
On a serious note, come and dash those children to people that truly love kids before you embark on your journey of tribulation.
1) you secure AND RESUME a well paying job in his city before relocating.

2)He secures AND RESUMES a well paying job or self employment (e.g trading or transport business) in your city.

As for all you ladies/women, "i will be helping him out in his business" is not a job!!! You're just jobless entity encroaching his personal space and constituting an unpleasant liability. No surprises when such business always loses focus and crumbles causing the relationship to become war zone.

iHart:
He has a business and you said he is jobless, what do you mean?

I tire
Maybe na small or petty biz

RepoMan007:
What you will get here is intellectual advice. Go for a reputable man of god and get spiritual one. He may change.

Classic

teeshet:
the one i have is lazy but good in bed. If you are ready

what's her email of WhatsApp

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

@OP i think, this man has said it all.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Madam, take this advise . . .laminate it and keep it because you are going to need it !

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Lolz. Leaving your job will be the biggest mistake of your life. Jobless person want make employed person leave him job to join am for joblessness. Let him get a job first besides I don't trust the affections of jobless men.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

This is the most honest, candid, real and sincere advice you can get and follow.

Like he has rightly said, stay in Abuja till things get better for him to be able to have a stable income and provide for you guys. Don't allow love blindfold you o. Nigeria is now "a bird at hand is better than 9 in the air" if you get what I mean. Don't loose your sure income for uncertain é go better in Zaria o

XullySwt:
His managing a little business.
What i mean but jobless like no monthly salary to keep the business going normal.
Sorry for not expanciating. Thanks for ur comment

when he is doing business, he has a job. If the business is not paying him enough, that's another thing.

For you to abandone a 50k job to move in with him means he earns enough to cater for both of you.

if you love him don't quit your job .

from experience you'll have to keep your job cos you get bills to pay .

if he's willing to start small then you'll bck him up and when it's time everything will surely fall in place.

the most important thing is that I see you loved him and with this you'll have to keep giving him hope . God can never leave you in a situation where there will be nothing for you to do but just that some people wanna be born and start walking immediately .

tell him to stop looking at his Mates and start where he is.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Your story is incoherent..he has no job yet he has a business? you have two kids and dated a jobless guy for two years? he paid your dowry and planning wedding for november on what budget? Please clarify.

No mater what you do, do not leave your job..your kids come first..beside that will still cause issues in nearest future because you wont want to fall pregnant anytime soon and when you eventually do,he will not treat the three kids as equal trust me.

P>S...From the stories I read recently on nairaland,I cant say for a fact who is more desperate to get maried between Nigerian men and woman lately.

This na format na! Just be straight about it.

There's this saying a bird at hand is far better than the ten thousand birds in the forest! You said the guy sincerely love you. And you sure is love or lust? My candid advice is for you to maintain your job. Let him relocate to Abuja to search for jobs. Because it might gotten a financial support to marry you through is relative, but how far will it last. My dear you need to think wisely before you too decision that you will remain to regret in the rest of your life.

From experience, most women ask for advice but will never implement the quality ones. Let me add to the voices of reason, no job, no marriage!

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

You had better wait. Your children keeps you company. What other companionship are you looking for? It's like you want to start feeding three mouths if you've not started. A man in mid 30s still struggling, what does that say about him? Don't be fooled by the gentleness and sweetness he is portraying. It's because he has no money.

Makes no sense

Comments here are melting my heart. Life itself is not fair at all, i would have been very rude with my comment but you are a lady but i will just make it simple for you. Ask the guy one question "If you move with him to Zaria what will you be doing? Or what does he intend to set up for you. i can see here the both of you are from the North reason why he is just quick to talk marriage to you. And for the sake of your kids, my dear if you are ok in Abuja there, let him move and search or start a job or his business in Abuja, but First help him do a feasibility of his business in your current environment

Keep your job and let him move alone first. When he is settled you can then move to meet him with the kids.
Also, you could stay put and Job hunt in his town first before you relocate....

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

You should be thankfully that you have caught a simp who wants to settle down with a woman with two kids already. And the simp does not even have a job yet (God gives him one) and by the time he comes to his senses it will be already late.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Baba you for no tell her the truth. As she off her brain because of prick

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Congratulations on your new life with a new guy

You are lucky to have a man that loves you and accepts your children with love

If he is the one that paid uoir bride price from his own money then he means taking you to another good level

Though you guys don't have much now, you are a struggling woman and am sure he is so there is hope for you guys

The main issue now is, if you guys can't afford the type amd kind of big wedding you want to

Why not invite few family members, go to your church and get God blessing, that is the same thing people do get from the alta
Then go to your parlour and entertain them

You are not doing the wedding to impress anyone but to get wedded and have your witnesses

You guys have alot to do with money
Especially you that have much responsibilities on uoir children and your new home

By the time you guys have made your fortune, you can celebrate your wedding anniversary as glamorous as you want

YOU ARE PLAYING WITH "SHEGE"

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

So you want your two children to suffer because of a man?
How does any right thinking man prepare to get married when he has no job? And the fact that you are thinking of leaving your own source of income to move to his state where two of you will become jobless, with your kids?

Eeeei God

XullySwt:
Exactly his plan, coming down to Abuja, but the way time is running so fast his still yet to settle.
I will shine my eye and be wise dear.
Thank you

is better u shine it sisterpls and pls don't be too despite of having partner, Allah no best plans for everyone of us, loving u for 2 or 10 years doesn't mean the be ur real partner, just be very carefully and be prayerful for Allah to choose the best for u inshAllah

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

It is very difficult reside far away from your spouse. I understand that your love sweet, but it will be better to maintain different locations until your finances are good enough.

I have friend that doesn't reside in the same city as his wife, by God's grace the union is standing for eight years now. My friend is a lecturer; consequently, during his vacation he moves to his wife's place. Covid lockdown was very beneficial to the family.

Furthermore, another friend and his wife were together for only 14 months until a better job offer took him to a far away city. It wasn't easy travelling every month or two. By God's grace they never drifted, and there was no side-dish. Now my friend's finances have improved, his wife has relocated and they are enjoying their family.

My suggestion is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your boo, delay your relocation until his finances are up or you secure another teaching employment in his location.

Your kids' happiness is key as well.

Oh dear, am happy this comment is coming from a female like me.
My dear we aren't planning for any big wedding, i do much appreciate ur advice i like it. Thanks for ur compliments.

frozen70:
Congratulations on your new life with a new guy

You are lucky to have a man that loves you and accepts your children with love

If he is the one that paid uoir bride price from his own money then he means taking you to another good level

Though you guys don't have much now, you are a struggling woman and am sure he is so there is hope for you guys

The main issue now is, if you guys can't afford the type amd kind of big wedding you want to

Why not invite few family members, go to your church and get God blessing, that is the same thing people do get from the alta
Then go to your parlour and entertain them

You are not doing the wedding to impress anyone but to get wedded and have your witnesses

You guys have alot to do with money
Especially you that have much responsibilities on uoir children and your new home

By the time you guys have made your fortune, you can celebrate your wedding anniversary as glamorous as you want

I smile reading this because i see light at the end.
Yes we also tot of this plan but you know how Abuja to Kaduna road is now, moving up and down is not a nice one for now. Thanks alot i really appreciate ur comment.

saintneo:
It is very difficult reside far away from your spouse. I understand that your love sweet, but it will be better to maintain different locations until your finances are good enough.

I have friend that doesn't reside in the same city as his wife, by God's grace the union is standing for eight years now. My friend is a lecturer; consequently, during his vacation he moves to his wife's place. Covid lockdown was very beneficial to the family.

Furthermore, another friend and his wife were together for only 14 months until a better job offer took him to a far away city. It wasn't easy travelling every month or two. By God's grace they never drifted, and there was no side-dish. Now my friend's finances have improved, his wife has relocated and they are enjoying their family.

My suggestion is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your boo, delay your relocation until his finances are up or you secure another teaching employment in his location.

Your kids' happiness is key as well.