That is a very BIG RED FLAG. A broken engagement �/courtship is far more better than a broken marriage. Be wise and smart, don't enter marriage with sentiments.

wamide042:
. no wedding again and my sister too is Happy right now.

Are you sure about this?

Lady you don't want to marry the man simple, forget all this talk about my father was not happy, my aunty was not appreciated story.

faithfull18:

And what's the place of women in the Bible??

Very funny, but you know what the men in Bible did?

Jalaw:


Are you sure about this?

100percent… my younger sister.. lol… she’s fierce.

GboyegaD:


I think the ladies are been emotional as such, don't get offended by their post. I wonder how he waited till this moment though cos I for one cannot. A relationship where you are dating the entire family is gibberish. Parents and family members should learn to stay clear of people's relationships.

At the same time, parents should be there to protect their child, especially if it's a girl. You don't want your daughter marrying a beast na.

The parent played their role well by watching our for their daughter.

The OP would have entered one chance. That guy for turn you into punching bag, you go wash cloth tire for him and is family like say you be slave. So many bad men out there. No capping.

Marriage is not for everyone!
Marriage is for the strong hearted!
Marriage takes two good heads to tango!
Marriage is meant for the mature minds!
Marriage no be beans!

CAUSE AND EFFECT FOR THE FAILED PROPOSED MARRIAGE

Your family members are too possessive and wants to control you, including your guy...Your guy has seen through these bossy attitudes from your mom, dad, aunt and you in particular but you have refused to see reasons with him and that's why he too is overreacting.

For every action, there's an opposite and equal reaction...I guess, that's why everything went south in your purported marriage that was never held.

Do you know that his mom never liked this bossy attitude from your folks and that's why she called and never apologized or speak in volumes to the reason for her son's cancellation of the marriage.

Babe, you are now feeling as if you are the innocent party and the man's family is the guilty one...That's a FAT big LIE!

This experience that happened to you is going to affect you emotionally and it will longer for a while.

HEADWAY

The marriage never worked so I'll suggest you move on because you gawked in this.

Next time, if you meet a serious guy in the future who wants to be your husband, I'll suggest that he's always put in the light of all the wedding preparations.

Furthermore, never be one sided in your rationale, do seek for your partner's opinions and contributions in all things.

I know you hold your family in high esteem. Do hold your future partner's esteem highly too.

Love is not always everything in a relationship...Maturity, understanding and attention matters a great deal too.

Anyway Op, I'm interested in marrying you that's if you are willing....I'm too down to Earth!
0/8/1/3/4/1/9/8/7/9/5

GboyegaD:


He was wrong to have said he was going to write a check and it is also obvious himself and your sister were not communicating. They should choose their date and not the other way, but what do I know?

They choose a date but the guy was insisting this December whereas my sister already told him that December couldn’t work because we already have this year planned up for other vital occasions only for him to say that if it’s money that he was going to write my Dad a cheque.
That was what angered everyone including my sister too, like do we look like we’re hungry or what… even if you’re Dangote there are things that shouldn’t be said actually my sister has been having mixed feelings about getting married to him in the first place.

Op.... All I can deduce from ur writeup is nothing but pride from ur family, making it look like u are doing the guy a huge favor by accepting to marry him so for that reason, he shouldn't have a mind of his own or even utter his displeasure when he discovers any. U knew him well even before u agreed to marry him, problem started when u allowed family emotions set in... To u, it's more of ur family's validation rather than the emotion of the guy in question, wrong move.....

Gospel2Day:


Then you should have heard from the guy before criticizing her.
Your comment shows that you have already taken sides with the guy.
If people tell you that you're rude, disrespectful and proud, all of them cannot be wrong. Check yourself.
Whenever someone says I don't care what people say or think about me, they have attitude and arrogance issues.

When you say all of them do you mean just the family which is the example that was given or the larger society as a whole because if its a group of people that says you are rude aka family then they can be wrong due to their traditions or belief, on the other hand if it is a group of different random people in the larger society that makes rude remake then its probably true. In this example its only one family and they may be wrong or crazy or anything. So your example is absolutely wrong

tunwumi:


Very funny, but you know what the men in Bible did?

Yes na, is it Abraham, Isaac, Jacob or even Joseph in the new testament we want to talk about biko tell us the place of women.

My darling move on ooo. Better husband will come
This one is not husband material but katakata material.

To Others reading:

Never judge from one side of a story. There are some information here that needs further questioning. In all, marry your "friend" so confrontation will have been more like a collaborative "discussion" on solving issues. There will always be issues amongst human

To the Ladies question:

Love in today's world has become relative and I don't think anyone here can tell if he does love you or not. In terms of maturity, you both might have a challenge in this area and not only him. From your post, it doesn't seem all your fault

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

I am so happy the young man dumped your arse. Imagine. Your aunt , your mum your dad your siblings this and that. You are bad news. If he had married you would would have been a classic case of wife without a mind of her own whose family and feilds control her.

Aunty you are not ready for married hence you will be alone for a very long time . No real man can stand what you are offering .

You see all those women enocouraging you on?.those are lonely depressed narcissistic bitter over aged ugly broads who no one wants.

You had a good man and pushed him away with stupidity. Your loss his gain.

A real woman would tell you the truth you messed up those bitwgr misandrists would praise you solely because misery loves company.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

You should be able to judge by yourself if he is a rude guy or not.You can't just claim he is a rude guy because your parents said so.We don't know the kind of conversation he had with your family for them to claim he is rude.Even you as a person there are some shits you won't tolerate from some people but if they are to ask those people about you, they will say you are rude simply because you are not playing to their tune.
Be wise!

Wedding already called off. No need for too much talks. Just move on and wait for the next r/s. Know areas where u fell shot and plan to do better next time. Shikenah!

dude exposed himself

royalfly:


Please, stop showcasing yourself. Yes we done hear say u be seer. The fact is they both acted wrong. It all started with the girl.

Point out her fault I want to hear it.

ahnie:
Ekwueme!Ekwueme!!
You're the living God oh
Eze no one like you.


That wasn't just a song,there lies the answers you seeketh.

A quick reminder as a brain teaser,that song up there was sang by osinachi.


We never still solve her case.

Beautiful response. I wish she can understand. What you said has more than what she needed to hear.

CSTRR:
That man is rudely behaved.
He would deal with you in marriage, since he has no regard for your people.

I am a man, and I understand not being a simp.

But if that kind of man tries to marry my sister after such behavior, I would disown them both.

Such rude idiot.

LAWYER!
U have already passed judgement without fair hearing of the man
He should be hanged immediately because a woman said her side. She must be very right.
Please have patience before crucifying innocent souls. Don't get carried away. And I pray you don't come apologizing when you start hearing the man's side of what transpired

Celebrate God have just save u from an abusive marriage

GboyegaD:


He was wrong to have said he was going to write a check and it is also obvious himself and your sister were not communicating. They should choose their date and not the other way, but what do I know?

Why are you talking as if you don't know families will have to agree on date.

Infact in some families it's the Father of the bride that will choose the date, even the bride and her mum might not have a say in it, it might not sound right but it's Family dynamics.

They said the have plenty events lined up for this year ( which has just 3 months more by the way) that it should be done next year, the guy is writing out cheque loool, did they tell him they don't have money for their daughters wedding. All these stories make me wonder the kind of boys being bred nowadays.

Please don't support this you are a matured person.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

.
How old is the guy?

Munzy14:

Wait, A man coming to marry you, how did he get to a stage of having money issues conversation with your Aunt?..You really allowed a lot to deviate.

A mind of your own is not just about expressing yourself alone, It equally involves taking some critical decisions without running to family or friends around you.

They will spoil the broth with too many spices..like do this, do that, don't agree to this, agree to that.

I kept wondering. Like wtf?

Sister be happy and go for thanksgiving.
Thank God for saving you from a prospective terrible marriage experience.
You might not like this advice but still I will advice you to ignore him and move on with your life even if he comes back begging with his whole family.
It's better to stay single than to experience a terrible marriage because once you enter you will start giving yourself 1000 reasons to stay and endure which might mean you will live the rest of your life in bitterness and regret

wamide042:
Congratulations dear…. God has already delivered you.
My younger sister is also going thru same right now and as it is we also have called off the wedding. My sister’s fiancé is so full of himself, when he brought the marriage proposal my family agreed but told him that they could only do it next year because we already have events planned up for this year and it will be too chocked. Naso guy begin dey vex to the extent of him saying that my Dad should write out the budget that he will write my Dad cheque.
Omo!! We blasted him and his family infact it was sister herself that said she’s no longer interested in the wedding and yes we agreed with her. That’s an insult to us like…WTF !! Loro kan sha.. no wedding again and my sister too is Happy right now.

Oturukpeke!!!

Loool he came to marry wife and he's behaving like this insulting your brides family like that?

All these overgrown, spoilt, baby boys roaming about the country nowadays sef. Very tact less set of human beings. Make e chop him money.

Munzy14:

Wait, A man coming to marry you, how did he get to a stage of having money issues conversation with your Aunt?..You really allowed a lot to deviate.

A mind of your own is not just about expressing yourself alone, It equally involves taking some critical decisions without running to family or friends around you.

They will spoil the broth with too many spices..like do this, do that, don't agree to this, agree to that.

U are a Critical Thinker.
In all these no one asked what the actual problem was. She didn't enumerate what transpired and how it started.
She left a whole lot unearthed and went straight to the Guy's attitude. She may have dodged a bullet but her explanation will enable us understand if it's a LIVE Bullet or Rubber Bullet.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

If the guy don fvck you..Sorry

If he didn't smash your pusi... Congratulations..and move on.

mariahAngel:
You dodged a bullet dear.
Be thankful.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

Red pill taken too far

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

When next you meet any man who shows interest in marrying you, before saying, "Yes!", inquire about him of GOD.

You see that point up there, never ever in your life skip it.

Don't ever think you can study a man to know his mind or truth. It's a time waster.

Same at the bolded goes for the men too.

wamide042:
Congratulations dear…. God has already delivered you.
My younger sister is also going thru same right now and as it is we also have called off the wedding. My sister’s fiancé is so full of himself, when he brought the marriage proposal my family agreed but told him that they could only do it next year because we already have events planned up for this year and it will be too chocked. Naso guy begin dey vex to the extent of him saying that my Dad should write out the budget that he will write my Dad cheque.
Omo!! We blasted him and his family infact it was sister herself that said she’s no longer interested in the wedding and yes we agreed with her. That’s an insult to us like…WTF !! Loro kan sha.. no wedding again and my sister too is Happy right now.

This is ridiculous. I will summarize as follows.

1-The guy obviously wanted December because that is when most festivities are slated for Especially people who have a lot of family and friends outside the country. If for any reason this December did not work for your family, the onus was on you guys to give him cogent reasons why including naming the events that are so important to your family in December. A wedding is a weekend only, not a month.

2- The guy suggested that if the money was the reason for the delay, he could write a check to cover everything. This clearly shows that you guys did not provide any reasonable explanation for not wanting this December. For example, you cannot tell a man that you have a family burial in December and he would still insist on using December.. it is common sense.

3- why all the sensitivity?? The guy get money, is that a sticking point too? He offered to cover your family’s part of the wedding, is that a wrong thing too? Having money comes with a little bit of pride, deal with it. Pride isn’t the same as disrespect.

4- when your sister gets to 30 years now without another suitor, you all will look back at this and wish you handled it better. The sticking point here is that he was never told exactly why December would not work. Your family did not also bother to ask why he really wanted December. Everything na cooperation

5- finally; wether your sister is happy or not, it is no loss to the guy. Your case is exactly like the op, Nigerian families with their over bearing attitude and need for constant validation. Wedding planning should be left to bride and groom. No need for this free for all.

Peace!