₦airaland Forum

satandeterrible:
Poor, broke bastard.
Go and make your own money and worry less about how anyone chooses to display their affluence.
No be you or your stupid papa make the money for them.
Animal.

Ok12345:
If you marry her,don't ask her what she is bringing to the table oo.
She is giving you virginity, be contented.

All women are the same after several years in marriage, educated or not
We go still show you winchi winchi, no woman is totally calm or submissive once the kids starts rolling in.
Just that the educated one will make you achieve your dreams faster if you guys work together in marriage.

For me oo,I won't marry a man with half baked education.

Choose your poison wisely

seanwilliam:
@ ebenman , Honestly , I will advice you not to settle for less. Marriage is not something you do out of pity. If she’s not your type , you will lose attraction soon.


Don’t settle for less or bend your rules for women. Trust me if the table is turned she will never risk it with you . It’s not you being wicked that’s the reality .

Her being a virgin might be as a result of the fact that she’s an average ( ugly girls have lesser guys chasing them and she knows she’ll lose in two ways if she loses her virginity and still kon wor wor Join ).


Although I respect women with virginity especially 20 plus. For this naija.

Ebenman:
I have received a lot of bashing.

I guess I didn't really explain the situation well, so a lot of people didn't really get my points.

This lady in particular mum is late. Her dad is battling with stroke.

I stay in a 3-bedroom flat as a bachelor in a high-income area while she, her dad, and 3 other siblings stay in a room and parlor in a low-income area. I fear that one day her family will tell her sis and bro to come and start staying with us if we end up together since they will feel we live in a 3-bedroom flat.

More so, her yearly income is always not up to my monthly income.

She is not the First Lady to show interest in me. I asked her why is she interested in me, and she said that I don't drink, smoke, gamble, or womanize. I am always focused.

In essence, I am also a standard.

waititi:
yehn yehn yehn yehn. A real man goes for the one he loves. -did you read love in anything op wrote?? You are what is wrong with men. With women believing they can do whatever they want to us ,if the guy wasn't well off the lady would not even give a hoot about him but oh just cause she showed interest (despite his warning) you in your infinite stupidity thinks he should drop all his standards and settle for her. SIMP!

Bassmetrics:
Dear Op, marriage itself is a risk. This is a perfect case with my closest friend. All d picture u painted above were similar. In his case, d guy (a graduate n financial stable) lowered his standard to even marry a sec sch drop out from a poor home. D girl later showed him pepper.His Inlaw turned him to a cash-cow. As I type this, he is separated from his wife.

But note, everybody can't be same. It didn't work for him don't mean it won't work for u. Just follow ur heart

waititi:
mumu . I sha Know say your sense no dey work. infinite idiot

satandeterrible:
Go and marry her na.
Mumu

AfroKnight:
Ebenman don’t be deceived.

She is playing the long con. She has an endgame in sight and it is not going to be sweet smelling roses, trust me.

You see this insult you have given her several times (that she’s not your standard)? She intends to make you pay for saying that. No be everything you go dey tell woman. Filter your words.

End things with her. She is pretending to be humble. When she has you where she wants you, you will pay.

A word is enough.

oluwafemiabioye:
Bros. Pls why did you say this?

It's very important

Helpout12345:
OP, out of the issues you have with her "standard", I think major ones are the education level and physical attraction. The age is not that far from your preference.

You said she is a Virgin, a good person and loyal to you.

1. Put her loyalty and love to tests to be very sure she is not coming after you because of your money and status. It's always difficult for good men with money to filter our genuine ladies in their relationships because even the likes of online misandrists looking for husbands will pretend to be good women when they meet a man with money and status. To do this, take away benefits you give her now for sometime, pretend like you lost your job and struggling financially for sometime and watch her reactions.

2. Being a Virgin does not guarantee a good character and good woman in marriage. You have to watch her character beyond the virginity stuff. Does she really have good character and good heart? You also need to find ways to find her true character and her true mind. To do this, follow her on social media to follow her comments, watch her reactions and comments on real life situations happening around you both, watch different Nigerian movies together and spark discussion over the happening in the movies. Most times, women get carried away in movies and pour out their true minds during the movies.

3. If she is good based on 1 and 2 above, and the fact that she is a virgin in this century, then you have find a good one. Please don't lose her because you might never find another close to her again in your lifetime.

4. Education status can be improved. She can enroll in a university online or distance learning to upgrade herself to become a graduate you want. But I must warn you, marry her before you sponsor her in education. Don't ever sponsor education of a girl friend with hope that she will marry you in return.

5. On the physical attraction, I know you cannot change her height. To enhance your attraction, tell her how you want your woman to dress and appear but be careful not to body-shame her.

6. It's not wise to tell boy or girlfriend, they are not "your standard". It's demeaning and can make them hold resentment for you if it eventually works out between you both.

Summary, be careful not to lose a good woman because of minor standards that you can improve or enhance to have a happy home.

Ebenman:
I meant a lady 3 months ago. After we talked, she began to show interest in me, but she wasn't my standard, so I wasn't feeling the same way.

My standards are:
1. At least she must be a graduate
2. She should be self-sufficient (earning something reasonable)
3. At most 5-6 age difference between us
4. Looking calm and understandable
5. She must be an average-height lady

This lady, in particular, is an NCE holder, working as a teacher, earning little because of her level of education. She is just in her early 20s, and I am almost 8 yrs older than her. She is from a poor background and has 2 other younger siblings. She is also not tall and looks like an average girl.

She is very decent (a virgin) and loyal to me. I have told her severally that she is not my standard and I wasn't interested in her, but she refused to listen and began to feel very insecure. Maybe because I earn well and she knows I will soon get married.

She now comes to my house almost every weekend because I am very accommodating. Recently she has been telling me to delete the pictures of other females friends, in which I asked her on what grounds I should do that.

Note: I don't want to invest in a lady that is not my wife, and I am afraid her family will see me as a rich guy from which her other siblings can benefit if I proceed with her.

Should I block every contact with her, or should I forget about standards and risk and look at the good side?

Please advice

Ebenman:
She is a virgin, I confirmed.

kacglobal:
At this point I leave u to yourself. Cus am still wondering why you had to put my sisters and mothers into this discussion.

Me I no dey follow ppl like you talk. Ppl that can't keep things clean without insults.

Sammy101111:
At this era once a man comment she is a virgin you are big simp for God sake ( can’t you Mumu men wake up ) if you like meet your babe virgin that one no mean say she no go cheat or beep another nigga . Just pray for a good woman

Virgin as nothing to do in Nigeria constitution anymore

AfroKnight:
Cos nobody will hear those degrading words and let it slide just like that. He said hurtful things to her. The normal reaction would be to leave him with her dignity intact.

Her decision to stay despite the verbal abuse shows a plot to make him eat those words. There are some insults you don’t speak out loud unless you are ready for the consequences.

AlphaStorm:
Baba share us d story abeg !!!!

seanwilliam:
can a woman bend the rule for a man in this situation? If yes Have you personally experienced it before .

Ehmmah588:
Yes sir,I have experienced what it means to be "out of standard" with an ex(was 23 then,still struggling in school)and cos of my mental health I had to call it quits..... Funny thing is till today,she tells me "I was and will always be the best"..Though she's married to her "type",but she's not really happy

Helpout12345:
OP, out of the issues you have with her "standard", I think major ones are the education level and physical attraction. The age is not that far from your preference.

You said she is a Virgin, a good person and loyal to you.

1. Put her loyalty and love to tests to be very sure she is not coming after you because of your money and status. It's always difficult for good men with money to filter our genuine ladies in their relationships because even the likes of online misandrists looking for husbands will pretend to be good women when they meet a man with money and status. To do this, take away benefits you give her now for sometime, pretend like you lost your job and struggling financially for sometime and watch her reactions.

2. Being a Virgin does not guarantee a good character and good woman in marriage. You have to watch her character beyond the virginity stuff. Does she really have good character and good heart? You also need to find ways to find her true character and her true mind. To do this, follow her on social media to follow her comments, watch her reactions and comments on real life situations happening around you both, watch different Nigerian movies together and spark discussion over the happening in the movies. Most times, women get carried away in movies and pour out their true minds during the movies.

3. If she is good based on 1 and 2 above, and the fact that she is a virgin in this century, then you have find a good one. Please don't lose her because you might never find another close to her again in your lifetime.

4. Education status can be improved. She can enroll in a university online or distance learning to upgrade herself to become a graduate you want. But I must warn you, marry her before you sponsor her in education. Don't ever sponsor education of a girl friend with hope that she will marry you in return.

5. On the physical attraction, I know you cannot change her height. To enhance your attraction, tell her how you want your woman to dress and appear but be careful not to body-shame her.

6. It's not wise to tell boy or girlfriend, they are not "your standard". It's demeaning and can make them hold resentment for you if it eventually works out between you both.

Summary, be careful not to lose a good woman because of minor standards that you can improve or enhance to have a happy home.

Ballzproblem2:
all her character na format ,. they usually reveal their true colors in marriage,study her well ,bring in a hous help (young female to be precise) ,to test her true character ,how she reacts to the house help will determine everything.

mprtuary:
Mr Standard Mr. Standard, don't you think the lady has more standard than you with your Bryan you with this your with your English Grammar?

placeofallure:
I pity you if that's exactly your thoughts. You'll let some trolls who had no control over their own life mislead you in life.

First and foremost, women do lower their standards for men if they're in love. Get that belief off of your head that they don't.

Secondly, to ba ri se, ma pe paddy e l'ole. What standard are you talking about? You sound like some pompous, overbearing slave master. Do you know where she's coming from? It's either you like her enough to share or you don't. You already even anticipate her family will be leeches and needy. Some people are poor but they keep their dignity intact.

I won't tell you to marry her, Lord of Standards, if she doesn't merit your aggrandized benchmark or calibre. Just let her know on time so she doesn't invest her priceless emotions where it'll never yield returns.

Good luck to you.

Ebenman:
What is wrong with the grammar if not for one or two errors?

Just because a guy didn't like what I said and then decided to pinpoint the errors, must you follow the same suit?

Moreso, from the few words you typed, there are a lot of errors I can see there. Is this not a case of a pot calling a kettle black?

Wealthyonos:
Even your English shows you're not educated. My advice is, 'go back to school'.���

Raalsalghul:
Uhm ma'am, your post is filled with so much hate.

You can pass your message across without such bile.

You seem overly invested in this issue.

Care to share any experience?

Wealthyonos:
Even your English shows you're not educated. My advice is, 'go back to school'.���