₦airaland Forum

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

Putting myself in your shoes, I can understand how bad you feel, not just that your daughter was raped but that her own mother, your wife could deny your daughter justice and denied you the knowledge of what had happened to your daughter. However, I want to plead that temper justice with mercy by not going for divorce except something in addition to this gives you the go ahead. My reason is that by the time you go for her bail, I expect that she should have understood the gravity of her offense. So please , except for any additional or further reasons, do not go for divorce. Your wife actually felt bad too but blood they say is thicker than water.

CLATHRIN:
I am a bit logical about life. Look, there is this term called 'teleology'. There is a teleological reason why things happen and people do what they do. I try the little I can to understand life from that stand point. He steals, why did he start stealing? She sells her body, why is she a prostitute? It helps me understand others when I put myself in their shoes. We don't all know the breadth and length of life, human beings are not robots, the reason why somethings happen might be much more removed from your remotest imaginations. Many people have unresolved deep pains and that goes a long way to determine how they act. Many people here will give you advice(s) based on how deeply hurt they are, they have been jilted by girlfriends and boyfriends, treated badly by others, that will affect how they respond. Some will call for very harsh punitive measures but you know what? The most powerful force in the world is agape love. Even, the stories people read on this platform and online affect how they think and respond. They see how infidelity, wickedness and evil is replete in most stories they come across online, subconsciously their brains are being encoded/wired in a certain way, how youthey choose your response then comes down to how stoic or pervasive you/their minds have become. Some are strong emotionally and will not be easily reconfigured by what they see. Think deep brother, what do you intend to achieve with your actions? How will this be of benefit to you and the society on the long run? You want a wife who's gonna give you the best of herself or that woman who will restrain herself (emotions, love, trust and body)from you and play it with caution? I mean, imagine that woman who would in the midst of some beautiful experience with you caution/remind herself about what/whom she's dealing with. Bro, you ain't dealing with an emotionless being here, you can pretend all you want and feel like she's below you, maybe you are even wealthier and do take care of her and her family, you cannot buy certain things or even force them out in life. Alright, I have said enough.

Who are you? Your words are so deep, captivating and compelling. I admire your sagacity. It's surely divine.

SocialJustice:
Vendetta is for children. Who wouldn't freak out and make wrong decisions in this situation? If the situation was the other way round, he really can't tell how it would have ended. It doesn't even matter.

Them done f*ck your pikin, instead of to lead the family as a man through this tough time, he's arresting his wife. What a fool, will the arrest undo the f*ck? Maybe the daughter even gave consent to the sex. What a great opportunity for all involved to learn and come closer as a family but little man child turned into a raging fire that will burn and destroy everything.

You are certainly sick in the head and shouldn't be near children.

jumper524:
so you'll divorce a good wife because she kept a secret that would make you divorce her from the start if she had told you?
what would she or you havve done if your 14year old brother raped your wife neice? im sure youll deal with the boy but still would keep it a secret. she did what she had to do, getting angry is justified, but divorcing her is bullshit.

Totally agree

Since he is 14years, the boy will be in juvenile ....until he turns 18 years, then tbe full rot of the law will take its toll on him. ..bail your wife ,and have a talk with her

Put away that woman if it's possible. One of the greatest mistakes to make is to marry an ignorant religious woman that pays more loyalty to their so called prophetess and God of men

Leave your wife out of this, get police people involved, and a human rights activist involved,detian the mum, and have that castrated Minor remand at a juvenile

mens83:
If your story is true, on what ground do you want to divorce her?
What evil did she do that is unforgivable according to you?
Yes she might not have told you but that does not mean she is bad wife. The trauma and shock is enough to emotionally damage her. She may have wanted to deal with it as family matter.
Now you know apply wisdom not locking her up and seeking divorce.
Mind you any woman you marry will never cherish and protect that your daughter if not worsen her case.
You said she lost weight. Now read in between lines and see that the rape issue was the reason. Don't add more fuel to the fire.
You can deal with the boy but be careful and mindful of more emotional trauma upon your wife.
That heart though and forge ahead with life.

By not informing him and to make the matter worse, the op got to know about the ordeal from someone not related to the family. The wife ought to have informed the pastor to help discuss this issue in due course.

co787:
She is 2 years old my wife is still in detention I will bail her next week I haven't arrested him yet because I am in Lagos there are in nnewi I am planning to go there next week along with my wife to arrest him and I will return to Lagos alone she will stay with her people

Get that 14yrs old guy arrested n let ur wife go n stay with her people, take custody of ur girl. Make sure that guy is jailed for his crimes, a 2yrs old? O! God so deal with that guy!! Eh!

Klass99:
At the bolded, I am not one of those zombies who believe blood is thicker than water and family is everything. That adage is the sort of mindless bullshit that irritates my soul to no end and gives rise to situations like these.

I am not interested in having kids of my own, but there are two categories of people I don't joke with or mess with in my life, that is young children and aged folks from 60 years and above. In my mind these are a vulnerable set of people who need help, protection and care the most.

From my village I would have called my husband to please come down and help me deal with my younger brother and possibly have him arrested. I would not have even let my people know hubby is on his way until he arrives to specifically deal with my brother. I hate nonsense and stupidity, it doesn't matter if it's coming from blood relatives, it will not be tolerated or endured.

I am not just saying this for talking sake, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh and every individual is wired differently with a mind and mindset of their own.

Thanks you sister. You are really class. The wife's family is dysfunctional. That's why they felt it was better to shield their 14 year old spoilt brat than making him face consequences. You may not really know your wife, surprised you called such a co-conspirator 'a good woman'.

headbasher96:
i wonder how some clown the take buy phone sef wait until u marry good wife then lose her to something that should have been settled without a hitch

easier said than done,na your type go de beat your wife over very little misunderstanding, una go come online de form maturity...for Christ sake, the victim is a 2 years old...how do u expect the man to feel or react...I'm not in support that he should arrest his wife, but let him separate from her for a while and ensure that her brother rots in jail...Bleep inlaw shits

logiktech:
Foolish human being. Wonder how your daughter will feel later realizing you jailed her mom. You arrested her then bail her later!! Very foolish and waste of time and money. Ode

I pray it happens to you so that you also feels what the op is feeling

I will advice you calm down Sir,Even your wife is more hurt than you in this situation but She is only trying her best to be a good mother,good daughter to her parents and still be a good wife to you hence the reason why she could not bring herself to tell you about the ugly incident that happened to her own daughter where her parents stays.
She is just trying to protect the image of her family which she did in the wrong way.l wouldn't advice you to divorce her because she isn't the one that rape your daughter instead you should find that pedophile and have him arrested and totured,if you arrest and divorce her people will still blame you
and you might not be lucky to find a good woman like her again.l will leave you with this Yoruba proverb that says "ori bibe ko no ogun Ori fifo" Cutting the head is not the solution to the headache.it is well.

Klass99:
At the bolded, I am not one of those zombies who believe blood is thicker than water and family is everything. That adage is the sort of mindless bullshit that irritates my soul to no end and gives rise to situations like these.

I am not interested in having kids of my own, but there are two categories of people I don't joke with or mess with in my life, that is young children and aged folks from 60 years and above. In my mind these are a vulnerable set of people who need help, protection and care the most.

From my village I would have called my husband to please come down and help me deal with my younger brother and possibly have him arrested. I would not have even let my people know hubby is on his way until he arrives to specifically deal with my brother. I hate nonsense and stupidity, it doesn't matter if it's coming from blood relatives, it will not be tolerated or endured.

I am not just saying this for talking sake, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh and every individual is wired differently with a mind and mindset of their own.

The husband would have likely committed murder tbh.

RIO1987:
Leave your wife out of this, get police people involved, and a human rights activist involved,detian the mum, and have that castrated Minor remand at a juvenile

A dangerous woman who could report to a Prophetess but not to husband

Anyway with an 18 years experienced of marriage class, 1. I sympathise with you. 2. It's a very sad one, but it has happened means it has happened. 3. Kindly help your daughter heal very fast by engaging her with a good emotional therapist. 4. Involving police on your wife is also adding to publicity of the whole stuff which will add to your daughter's mental health.5. The gud thing dt picked my interest is dt your wife has been a good wife till then.6. How do you think divorcing her and taking custody of you daughter will solve the problem?

My humble advice.... The devil you know is better than the demon you don't know. Your in-law my be possessed and needs not to come close again or your children going close again. 0808 829 5668 U can through to me for further discussions.

14 years raping! If he don reach 20years uko go Rape every every

Klass99:
At the bolded, I am not one of those zombies who believe blood is thicker than water and family is everything. That adage is the sort of mindless bullshit that irritates my soul to no end and gives rise to situations like these.

I am not interested in having kids of my own, but there are two categories of people I don't joke with or mess with in my life, that is young children and aged folks from 60 years and above. In my mind these are a vulnerable set of people who need help, protection and care the most.

From my village I would have called my husband to please come down and help me deal with my younger brother and possibly have him arrested. I would not have even let my people know hubby is on his way until he arrives to specifically deal with my brother. I hate nonsense and stupidity, it doesn't matter if it's coming from blood relatives, it will not be tolerated or endured.

I am not just saying this for talking sake, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh and every individual is wired differently with a mind and mindset of their own.

Your parents did a proper job raising a human with a conscience and morals like you.

Sadly today's society is corrupt that I'm wondering how a 14 year old boy knows what sex is about to the point of molesting a 2 year old, like wtf...this world is sick all in the name of people forming woke and abandoning their parental duties, this story irritates me to my bones coz it reminds of a similar thing that almost happened to my little sister if not that I walked in right when it was about to happen, God save the idiot that day else na hell him for dey now.

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

Please Sir, I'm sorry for such abominable act on your precious little daughter.

Where does your wife come from??

LINTUNE:
u are an idiot,go and read again, the said daughter is just 2 years old..idiot, think with your head for once...u think it's easy for him?

You can't correct without being abusive? Typical. Common sense couldn't tell you that was a mistake of omission. That the girl is even 2 is more reason this matter should die without further chaos. Let him tell the world that his daughter was raped. The world will remember and taunt her with it until she leaves this earth.

these iiigbo people with their cannibalistic nature, igbo land is still in 12AD



imagine raping your own sister kid, what a useless family. you should give her conditions, I wouldn't support divorce because you revealed she had been the best wife to you



the conditions is this, after getting heal of what happen, tell her to either cut off anything that had to do with her family or leave your life, if she agreed to cut them off please stick to her



I can't even revolved my thinking towards that insane and abominable acts, igbo land needs cleansing

Mindlog:
You are certainly sick in the head and shouldn't be near children.

Learn to spot a mistake when you see it and stop being unnecessarily emotional. No be your pikin them f*ck. Acting like you f*cking care about a random anonymous stranger you met online.

co787:
She is 2 years old my wife is still in detention I will bail her next week I haven't arrested him yet because I am in Lagos there are in nnewi I am planning to go there next week along with my wife to arrest him and I will return to Lagos alone she will stay with her people

For women out there; please protect your children first before considering other family members because if you don't care for or protect them, who will? I understand the woman in question would have gone through hell handling this case- opposition from her own mother and other siblings and relatives, shame of telling other people and All. But in all, she has no moral justification to keep this from her husband; the father of the victim! She messed up by confiding in a prophetess instead of her husband.

OP, please release her immediately, take better care of your daughter, follow your wife to the village and arrest her rapist brother (if she hasn't told him to run away), at least let him face some kind of punishment. If your wife must visit the village, let it be without any of your children.

Dear OP, my heart is broken reading your story. But I can assure you two wrongs do not make a right. Your wife was wrong for not informing you but remember she's also a victim here. She's not the criminal.
Truth be said, you're also wrong for locking her up. I am sure you have doubts in your heart about the way you have handled this matter. Perhaps, that can explain why you brought it here.
Please Sir, forgive your wife. Go and secure her bail! Consider your daughter who would be most affected by whatever decision you take. That girl has been violated, but don't make her grow up with the hurt of living in a loveless home or being raised by a single parent. The damage will be more than what she's has experienced.
I believe you're a Christian, there is nothing impossible with God. Kindly take out time and speak with God, ask Him for wisdom to handle this matter. No matter the hurt, there is a path to healing. It is well!

Oh Lord!!! I cringed reading majority of the comments on here.
1. A 2yr old girl was SERIALLY raped by a 14yr old boy and no one is seeing the criminal angle first!
2. It is a case of criminal negligence on the part of the mother first cos it wasnt as if she was in the village to work but to care for her sick father. So she left her child to the hyena and focused only on her papa. Excellent!
3. The deed(s) were done and she still had d mind to abet the crime by not reporting to the police nor informing the father of the child. Criminal!!!
4. The man still asked her why she's looking so disfigured and she cooked a big fat lie to cover up instead of confessing and humbly seeking for forgiveness. Perhaps the husband might have not seen her as an enemy. They would've agreed on the next line of action.
5. By covering up a crime, she's vicariously liable for the rape and incest committed. She consciously threw her own family under the bus to save her incestuous brother.
6. Her arrest is legally proper, however it's either the man proceeds with case to court so that the police can arrest other culprits including the rapist and his mother.
7. Police detention is not a punishment and u should not abuse it. Its either u prosecute her in the Court or u withdraw the case so that she can be released.
8. There's no more friendship after police case, so have it in ur mind, that ur marriage is scarred for life and ur relationship with ur in-laws is as well. However, if u feel u need time to heal, goodluck but I would advise that for your mental health, happiness and the safety of ur child and Future children, you need to dissociate from your wife and her family.

God be with u.

co787:
She is 2 years old my wife is still in detention I will bail her next week I haven't arrested him yet because I am in Lagos there are in nnewi I am planning to go there next week along with my wife to arrest him and I will return to Lagos alone she will stay with her people

don't go with your wife. go with police and arrest the idiot. if they refuse, tell her mom to come bail her daughter , and when she comes arrest her too until they provide the idiot...

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

I urge restraint. What has been done cannot be undone. Bail her immediately and seek for peace within your home. You have said she has been a good wife to you yet you want to device her over this little indiscretion. If you divorce her you may bring in another devil that will make your life miserable and that your daughters a living hell. She was probably torn between familial affinity and you and she thought she could hide it from you not knowing we live in a world where secrets are hard to keep.
Find it in your heart to forgive her and move on if you also want our heavenly father to forgive you of your own personal sins.
As for that boy they should look for a way to give him some public lashing so he can understand the gravity of damage he has done. Truly the devil is just busy prowling about seeking for whom he may devour.

But instead of lucked up your wife, you should av send her back to her family , Bcoz right now that you furious with her she can't stay with you in order not allow devil to use you or your wife.

OP you arrested your own wife?
Like did you know what that woman passed through knowing what happened to her own daughter. Why didn't you arrest the rapist. Why didn't you just separate from her after that.

Hmmm,.na wa oo

Anyone that can hide this from the husband or wife is evil. You are evil oh for saying that too.

ibechris:
If u divorce ur wife and marry another woman wetin u gain?

Your woman was wrong in all indices and that shows how bad she felt by her weight loss and for not confiding in u.

I bet u,there is no woman/man that wouldn't hide this kind of thing to his or her family members because of how abominable it sounds.

However,u can't use ur hand to shatter your home...she,ur wife has been battered emotionally and I think,she needs to be covered and not shamed to this level.

Note,u have arrested the wrong person.

What happened to the main culprit?
This is a very complicated matter that needs to be treated with extreme care and caution,if not,u may not escape the stigma that comes with it.

Good luck to u.

This is one of the major problems with Nigerian marriages - poor communication.

Did you even ask your wife to explain herself? Seeing how you're reacting now, only God knows what you would have done if she told you. Maybe she was scared?

She is your wife. Bail her, sit down with her and talk to her. Let her explain herself. Turn that your anger to her brother the rapist.

co787:
My wife and daughter traveled to her village in August for 3weeks and they were supposed to be back before the school resumption but she changed her mind saying her mother was seriously ill that she has to extend her stay which was fine by me and when they returned back I noticed that she has lost so much weight which I asked her why she said it was due to the stress of caring for her sick mother which is normal.

She is her only daughter and oldest of 4 her younger ones are boys so they cannot take care of their mother better than her. Here is the reason I got her arrested, during her stay in the village, her 14 years old brother raped my daughter. This is one of the reason she overstayed in the village. She didn't tell me anything about my daughter being raped she and her mother had decided to give her treatment and cover the idiot that repeatedly raped her and when she came bck she didn't say anything to me but she confided in her prophetess which in her turn has started spreading news until it came to my ears that my own daughter was raped and her own mother has kept quiet and I can imagine if it was a member of my family that did the abominable acts the whole world would have heard it and she would have done everything in her power to put in prison.

But because it is her own brother, she has decided to keep quiet and not knowing the world is small and not secret is hidden forever. I took my daughter to the hospital the result has confirmed she was tampered i was devasted she has been the best wife to me and she has helped me and my sisters to reconciled in the past but what she has done to me it is unforgivable and I have arrested her and when I bail her I will divorce her and take custody of my daughter.

I don't know if I need advice or not but your input and suggestion are welcome I will be reading all your comments.

STARGREEN:
So deep, yet trust me she's equally feeling bad as much as you are that her own brother that should have protected her daughter is now the evil she's scared of.

It's not a sufficient reason to divorce her, but it's a sufficient reason to ask for space until you heal.

Trust me, you gonna overcome this issue with time. Get back to your feet bro.

That she is feeling bad is no excuse. She is an evil woman. A demon. She must have forced the poor child not to talk to her father about the rape.
If you really think it is safe to continue living with a woman that can hide your daughter's rape from you then you need prayers.