My advice for you is that you should not cheat cos you will be the one at the loosing end. Your husband got nothing to loose and you will be blamed at the end even though he was the one that pushed you to that limits. Men are likely to be distracted at some stage of their life, thats when you need to understand him better that one day he will come back to his senses which am sure he would. Just pray for him and ensure you do things that makes you happy so that what he does wont bother you. I wish you goodluck in you home .

Afodot0022:
My advice for you is that you should not cheat cos you will be the one at the loosing end. Your husband got nothing to loose and you will be blamed at the end even though he was the one that pushed you to that limits. Men are likely to be distracted at some stage of their life, thats when you need to understand him better that one day he will come back to his senses which am sure he would. Just pray for him and ensure you do things that makes you happy so that what he does wont bother you. I wish you goodluck in you home .

Thank you so much

ante56:
Thank you

I will never ask you to condone his cheating on you as that is an insult of the highest order. If you had been the one who cheated on him first, he would have gone berserk and put the curses of hell and the world on you for that. So, I see no reason why you should accept that for yourself either.

Also, It is better to at least keep your dignity than to roll in the same muck with him. Divorce isn't the end of the world. Instead, it is a chance to take the lessons you learned from your past experience and apply them in order to better yourself should you consider relationships again.

ante56:
What would you do if you are married, but your husband isn’t nice to you
Doesn’t show you attention, care or love but he has time for the ladies around him, gives them enough attention and care even though he claims he is not cheating
As a married woman who is lacking all these from her husband, is it okay for me to cheat on my husband?

no cheating isn't the way out, rather you could separate from him for a while, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I know you wished he did change when you both got married it might take him a short or long time to come around and act as the man who married you or he may never come around at all. As nigerians na on God you dey on am oh

I just feel you should have stayed away from marrying him, when he showed signs that he wasn't going to invest as much energy as you were in marriage. My sister, marriage involves hard work from both parties immediately you enter a union.

mokset123:
no cheating isn't the way out, rather you could separate from him for a while, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I know you wished he did change when you both got married it might take him a short or long time to come around and act as the man who married you.

*I just feel you should have stayed away from marrying him*
when he showed signs that he wasn't going to invest as much energy as you were in marriage. My sister, marriage is hard work.

Thank you so much

Kobojunkie:
I will never ask you to condone his cheating on you as that is an insult of the highest order. If you had been the one who cheated on him first, he would have gone berserk and put the curses of hell and the world on you for that. So, I see no reason why you should accept that for yourself either.

Also, It is better to at least keep your dignity than to roll in the same muck with him. Divorce isn't the end of the world. Instead, it is a chance to take the lessons you learned from your past experience and apply them in order to better yourself should you consider relationships again.

Thank you

Have you ever called his attention to his total neglect of you while he lavishes his attention to outsiders?

If you did, what was his response?

It's possible there's a reason for his behaviour which he may not even be aware of.

As a wife you have the right to have his attention but since you're being denied, it's necessary to find it why.

Infidelity is not the solution. It would further complicate the issue.

It's difficult to predict what may happen if he discovers your unfaithfulness.

Try to find a solution to it.

If need be contact a professional counsellor.

Socratiz:
Have you ever called his attention to his total neglect of you while he lavishes his attention to outsiders?

If you did, what was his response?

It's possible there's a reason for his behaviour which he may not even be aware of.

As a wife you have the right to have his attention but since you're being denied, it's necessary to find it why.

Infidelity is not the solution. It would further complicate the issue.

It's difficult to predict what may happen if he discovers your unfaithfulness.

Try to find a solution to it.

If need be contact a professional counsellor.

I have Calle his attention times with number but all to no avail
I can’t remember the last day he asked
“How was your day?
Even when I’m sick he doesn’t care at all
I have cried
Still no change
Reason why I thought of cheating so I wouldn’t care anymore
I won’t disturb him and I’m sure he’ll be fine

Yes

ante56:
What would you do if you are married, but your husband isn’t nice to you
Doesn’t show you attention, care or love but he has time for the ladies around him, gives them enough attention and care even though he claims he is not cheating
As a married woman who is lacking all these from her husband, is it okay for me to cheat on my husband?

Cheat but use Condom

ante56:


I have Calle his attention times with number but all to no avail
I can’t remember the last day he asked
“How was your day?
Even when I’m sick he doesn’t care at all
I have cried
Still no change
Reason why I thought of cheating so I wouldn’t care anymore
I won’t disturb him and I’m sure he’ll be fine

Firstly madam, you need to ignore all these inexperienced children telling you to quit or cheat on you husband. The problem started when you attached too much emotion and happiness to your husband.

All you need to do is to love yourself and find true happiness in yourself. Stop complaining and ignore him totally. Dress well, take care of your body, let him see that true happiness in you. When he is around, don't try to frolicking around him, instead, do that alone with good music. Make calls to your family and friends and laugh to it.

He would want to find out about the new person you became, at this point, don't back down or give a damn Bleep about him, continue with what you are doing.

Everything will gradually fall in place except he doesn't want you again in his life. Humans generally don't respect or value anyone who can't do without them, your husband is only taking advantage of this, having know that your true happiness depends on him.

ante56:


I have Calle his attention times with number but all to no avail
I can’t remember the last day he asked
“How was your day?
Even when I’m sick he doesn’t care at all
I have cried
Still no change
Reason why I thought of cheating so I wouldn’t care anymore
I won’t disturb him and I’m sure he’ll be fine

anita get a job because if you have a job you would worry less about his behaviour, give him a time frame to come around, if he doesn't walk away. He clearly doesn't love you or you are constantly doing things he dislikes.

Have you done both white wedding and traditional wedding?

Clearly for you to consider cheating it means that ex of yours you are considering given him green light?

You are playing with fire!!! I am sure where you are from if a married woman cheats you know what happens to the man, he would die

ante56:


I have Calle his attention times with number but all to no avail
I can’t remember the last day he asked
“How was your day?
Even when I’m sick he doesn’t care at all
I have cried
Still no change
Reason why I thought of cheating so I wouldn’t care anymore
I won’t disturb him and I’m sure he’ll be fine

have you reported him to his family people or a respected priest or marriage counselor

osato45:
anita get a job because if you have a job you would worry less about his behaviour, give him a time frame to come around, if he doesn't walk away. He clearly doesn't love you or you are constantly doing things he dislikes.

Have you done both white wedding and traditional wedding?

Clearly for you to consider cheating it means that ex of yours you are considering given him green light?

You are playing with fire!!! I am sure where you are from if a married woman cheats you know what happens to the man, he would die

If a married man cheats, the wife will not die but when a marred woman cheats, the husband dies.....is it how easy a husband's life is in the hands of the wife, to decide if she wants him dead or not?

yemmit90:


Firstly madam, you need to ignore all these inexperienced children telling you to quit or cheat on you husband. The problem started when you attached too much emotion and happiness to your husband.

All you need to do is to love yourself and find true happiness in yourself. Stop complaining and ignore him totally. Dress well, take care of your body, let him see that true happiness in you. When he is around, don't try to frolicking around him, instead, do that alone with good music. Make calls to your family and friends and laugh to it.

He would want to find out about the new person you became, at this point, don't back down or give a damn Bleep about him, continue with what you are doing.

Everything will gradually fall in place except he doesn't want you again in his life. Humans generally don't respect or value anyone who can't do without them, your husband is only taking advantage of this, having know that your true happiness depends on him.

Thank you so much

ante56:


I have Calle his attention times with number but all to no avail
I can’t remember the last day he asked
“How was your day?
Even when I’m sick he doesn’t care at all
I have cried
Still no change
Reason why I thought of cheating so I wouldn’t care anymore
I won’t disturb him and I’m sure he’ll be fine

Is there any one he respects that you can intervene in this matter?

If you're Christians you may wish to inform your church leader or any elderly person who has some influence on him.

If not, you can think of a family friend but I advise such a person must be someone he respects.

I don't advise you inform his family member because his attitude may be a reflection of the family, in which case they won't be able to help.

You can send me a mail if you don't mind

Socratiz:



Is there any one he respects that you can intervene in this matter?

If you're Christians you may wish to inform your church leader or any elderly person who has some influence on him.

If not, you can think of a family friend but I advise such a person must be someone he respects.

I don't advise you inform his family member because his attitude may be a reflection of the family, in which case they won't be able to help.

You can send me a mail if you don't mind

you will be shocked she knew all these things before entering the marriage, because she felt she could change him, now she is regretting her actions, wanting to commit a more heinous crime of adultery in the name of payback.

Lesson you can drag a camel to the river but you can't force it to drink water

yemmit90:
■ Firstly madam, you need to ignore all these inexperienced children telling you to quit or cheat on you husband. The problem started when you attached too much emotion and happiness to your husband. All you need to do is to love yourself and find true happiness in yourself. Stop complaining and ignore him totally. Dress well, take care of your body, let him see that true happiness in you. When he is around, don't try to frolicking around him, instead, do that alone with good music. Make calls to your family and friends and laugh to it.

■ He would want to find out about the new person you became, at this point, don't back down or give a damn Bleep about him, continue with what you are doing.

■ Everything will gradually fall in place except he doesn't want you again in his life. Humans generally don't respect or value anyone who can't do without them, your husband is only taking advantage of this, having know that your true happiness depends on him.

1. You mean though she is in a marriage, she should adjust to living life as single folks do? What then is the point of saying one is married?

2. LOL...so you think because she starts to live as though he doesn't matter, he will suddenly come around?

3. So your head is not completely stuck in lalaland afterall yet you advise was for her to play single-woman-wearing-marriage-badge for how long again?

ante56:
What would you do if you are married, but your husband isn’t nice to you
Doesn’t show you attention, care or love but he has time for the ladies around him, gives them enough attention and care even though he claims he is not cheating
As a married woman who is lacking all these from her husband, is it okay for me to cheat on my husband?

if you want to cheat cover it well and make sure he never finds out. Sometimes you need to release the tension and let someone else shower you with attention, body no be firewood. But try to work it out with your husband and pray,

Kobojunkie:
1. You mean though she is in a marriage, she should adjust to living life as single folks do? What then is the point of saying one is married?

2. LOL...so you think because she starts to live as though he doesn't matter, he will suddenly come around?

3. So your head is not completely stuck in lalaland afterall yet you advise was for her to play single-woman-wearing-marriage-badge for how long again?

Ordinarily most of your posts/replies on Nairaland doesn't worth attending to because you are too notorious in misleading people especially women with your quack reasoning.

1. If you tell her " what s the point in getting married", you should be able to tell her husband the same and give her solution to the problem.

2. Yes, he would, and I am 100% sure about that except he doesn't need him anymore in his life.

3. For as long as her husband come back to her sense and Value her. Like I said before, in which you know if you are that intelligent, humans generally don't respect or value something that is not though for them to handle or please. Being too emotional attach or always wanting someone acceptance will only devalued you in the present of that person. The same thing apply to a women starving her husband sex, the day he stop asking or don't give a fu-ck about her is the day he liberate himself. If this woman apply the logic I gave her, and the husband do not drastically change after this, just quote this and call me bastard.

yemmit90:

1. If you tell her " what s the point in getting married", you should be able to tell her husband the same and give her solution to the problem.

2. Yes, he would, and I am 100% sure about that except he doesn't need him anymore in his life.

3. For as long as her husband come back to her sense and Value her. Like I said before, in which you know if you are that intelligent, humans generally don't respect or value something that is not though for them to handle or please. Being too emotional attach or always wanting someone acceptance will only devalued you in the present of that person. The same thing apply to a women starving her husband sex, the day he stop asking or don't give a fu-ck about her is the day he liberate himself. If this woman apply the logic I gave her, and the husband do not drastically change after this, just quote this and call me bastard.

1. Your response doesn't make sense.

She says she is married and her husband is cheating on her and asking if she is to do the same. So?

2. Wow.... so even though it is very possible the man is probably contemplating ways to abandon her as we speak, you are instead trying to get her to believe that if she waits for him, acts like she is single again, he will most definitely come back to her, the same way it has happened for every person out there who has ever tried that formulae?

3. Oh! She is supposed to continue living this single-married woman life for as long as it will take for the man to come back to her?

This reminds me so of very sad it was to watch abandoned wives pine and long for the men who abandoned them in marriage to return. There heads were filled with lies that if only they do better, take care of themselves, worked Hardee, etc., the men that abandoned them would surely come back. Most of the men moved on, had other families and even forgot about the children they had with their abandoned wives. While majority of the women who were abandoned in marriage, raised their kids alone, never again to even see the backsides of the man who abandoned them in suffering.
..... this the kind of life you will wish on even your own sister, right?

Kobojunkie:
1. Your response doesn't make sense.

She says she is married and her husband is cheating on her and asking if she is to do the same. So?

2. Wow.... so even though it is very possible the man is probably contemplating ways to abandon her as we speak, you are instead trying to get her to believe that if she waits for him, acts like she is single again, he will most definitely come back to her, the same way it has happened for every person out there who has ever tried that formulae?

3. Oh! She is supposed to continue living this single-married woman life for as long as it will take for the man to come back to her?

This reminds me so of very sad it was to watch abandoned wives pine and long for the men who abandoned them in marriage to return. There heads were filled with lies that if only they do better, take care of themselves, worked Hardee, etc., the men that abandoned them would surely come back. Most of the men moved on, had other families and even forgot about the children they had with their abandoned wives. While majority of the women who were abandoned in marriage, raised their kids alone, never again to even see the backsides of the man who abandoned them in suffering.
..... this the kind of life you will wish on even your own sister, right?

I won't insult you back because you are not new to me on this childish display.

Let me clarify it because it seem you understood nothing from my previous post directed to the poster.

Being happy or don't give a fuc-kp about her husband doesn't mean she would be acting single. It simply mean the following:

1. Be happy always irrespective of his action.

2. priotize or love yourself more than anyone else.

3. Stop complaining completely about his lack of care or sex.

4. Always look good, dress well, improve your self confidence. Give him whatever he wanted but never ask for it like before.

5. Detach yourself emotionally from him, by this, whatever he does won't give you Headache or High blood pressure. Always act as if you can live without him.

No one disrespect or care less about a partner he/she knew can easily get better option without him/her.

Afodot0022:
My advice for you is that you should not cheat cos you will be the one at the loosing end. Your husband got nothing to loose and you will be blamed at the end even though he was the one that pushed you to that limits. Men are likely to be distracted at some stage of their life, thats when you need to understand him better that one day he will come back to his senses which am sure he would. Just pray for him and ensure you do things that makes you happy so that what he does wont bother you. I wish you goodluck in you home .

. I think these distractions maybe traps likely to draw a man backwards. Just like the woman is expected to be focused, men ought to be strong for their families and not give-in to 'distractions' especially at the formative years of their marriage

yemmit90:
■I won't insult you back because you are not new to me on this childish display. Let me clarify it because it seem you understood nothing from my previous post directed to the poster. Being happy or don't give a fuc-kp about her husband doesn't mean she would be acting single. It simply mean the following:
1. Be happy always irrespective of his action.
2. priotize or love yourself more than anyone else.
3. Stop complaining completely about his lack of care or sex.
4. Always look good, dress well, improve your self confidence. Give him whatever he wanted but never ask for it like before.
5. Detach yourself emotionally from him, by this, whatever he does won't give you Headache or High blood pressure. Always act as if you can live without him.
■No one disrespect or care less about a partner he/she knew can easily get better option without him/her.

LOL .... will you also give this very same advice to a man whose wife is cheating on him?

This is what you consider having better options for a woman who is in a marriage, a whole Mrs. badge carrier, this is better option? Kai!

ante56:
What would you do if you are married, but your husband isn’t nice to you
Doesn’t show you attention, care or love but he has time for the ladies around him, gives them enough attention and care even though he claims he is not cheating
As a married woman who is lacking all these from her husband, is it okay for me to cheat on my husband?

If you're not wanted in a place, leave.



It's not childish advice, it's meant to teach you to value yourself.



You have low self esteem, that is why you can open your eyes wide and marry a man that refused to help you when you were sick.



Is he rich, are you poor, do you have a job?


How old are you? How old is he?


Leave him, don't try to change him because he never loved you and he will never love you, he has the right to either love you or not. It's up to you to respect yourself and save your tattered dignity.


Take it from me as the Cardinal Truth:



You will survive.

Saintmary:



If you're not wanted in a place, leave.



It's not childish advice, it's meant to teach you to value yourself.



You have low self esteem, that is why you can open your eyes wide and marry a man that refused to help you when you were sick.



Is he rich, are you poor, do you have a job?


How old are you? How old is he?


Leave him, don't try to change him because he never loved you and he will never love you, he has the right to either love you or not. It's up to you to respect yourself and save your tattered dignity.


Take it from me as the Cardinal Truth:



You will survive.

Thank you so much

Kobojunkie:
LOL .... will you also give this very same advice to a man whose wife is cheating on him?

This is what you consider having better options for a woman who is in a marriage, a whole Mrs. badge carrier, this is better option? Kai!

Now I could see you are just catching cruise here.

Bye.

yemmit90:
Now I could see you are just catching cruise here.
Bye.

You mean you are not the one catching cruise by giving her advice you would probably never give to your own daugther or son for that matter.

Hanty is like your network is not connecting. You say your husband is not cheating on you but he is caring and playful with other ladies while ignoring you. And now you want to cheat.
Let me ask you. What is it you lack that your husband is looking for outside? Are you rude, disrespectful, dirty and unkempt? Are you an aggressive woman in your home? So you trouble your husband? Do you attend to his needs? Emotional, cullinary, sexual needs?

look inward yourself for faults he dislikes.
report him to the family.
if he doesn't change, opt for divorce

ante56:
What would you do if you are married, but your husband isn’t nice to you
Doesn’t show you attention, care or love but he has time for the ladies around him, gives them enough attention and care even though he claims he is not cheating
As a married woman who is lacking all these from her husband, is it okay for me to cheat on my husband?

Not sure if anyone had already asked this question, but HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?
If your marriage is still "young", like under 1 year, I would advise you to be patient, and simply pray for your husband/marriage.
Young marriages go through crazy stuff like this when the couple is starting to live together and build together.
There are spiritual forces that need to be dislodged first. They are usually dislodged after the first or second year (usually the first year).
Then things settle down, and everybody starts behaving well.
Even this your thought about cheating may be coming from such forces.
But if this marriage is above two years, then seek divorce because it forebodes the future entirely.
But in all instances, cheating only complicates things and make them harder to handle.
Thread cautiously.

ante56:


I have Calle his attention times with number but all to no avail
I can’t remember the last day he asked
“How was your day?
Even when I’m sick he doesn’t care at all
I have cried
Still no change
Reason why I thought of cheating so I wouldn’t care anymore
I won’t disturb him and I’m sure he’ll be fine

No dey reason am. Consider yourself has one who has no one in the world. That way, whatever he does wouldn't move you anymore.

It's the stupid advice from men who are asking you to pray for him for me. Is he an handicap that you're praying for? A full grown man who does things out of his own will is who you're been asked to pray for. Will the same be said to man if the reverse was the case?
I know cheating doesn't favor women, and I'm not asking you to cheat, but if you've called his attention it severally and it doesn't seem like he's gonna turn a new leaf, ma'am, perform your wifely duties, but stop giving hoot about his cares, attention or other things. After all, you were all fine before his arrival into your life.