₦airaland Forum

Lade18:
Actually, it's in the ancient wisdom of "never upgrade a woman". Women don't upgrade men. Well, women don't love men . It's more common than it's uncommon that a woman will use you to level to impress men that are better than you. It's always the same story of "I send her to school and she dump me" and I used to ask "why the fuvk are u sending a woman to school? Once you build a woman up, she automatically outgrown you and seek better options than you. Date women at your level or maintain her at the level you meet her.

Men will get wiser as times go on. Use your look to game a woman not your wallet. If a woman wants me, I know it's my look , so why the Bleep will I spend on you if you ain't spending on me?

Lol yeah I know it happens, men do it too when they upgrade in life and swap the girl whose been there from the beginning and helped him for a ‘shinier’ upgrade

But I won’t be surprised if there are gaps in his story

Mtncardseller:
Very true, I nearly made same mistake training one of babe some skills, after getting little change she dey act bossy and rude. Thank God I no reveal everything to her finish...na so I block all access she dey use enter...till today she dey beg me and acting more nicer , trying to whine me. But I will never loose guard to her.

Nice one. Don't ever upgrade her again. Fùck her worthless pùssy and leave her at the level you found her. That's how to handle women. Don't let them use you as a vehicle to their destination.

Why this nonsense made FP is one of the wonders of the internet.

Touchypro:
It is easy, just find someone up to your standard. Better wake up I use to think exactly like this until I fully understand how women reason. If she's someone you are married to better, but you also need to be ten steps ahead of her.

Unnecessary stress to be honest. The major issue you are having is that you are worried about her leaving. Oh well, I am not for the most part. So that one doesn't worry me. All this extra steps is not necessary.

ibkayee:
Lol yeah I know it happens, men do it too when they upgrade in life and swap the girl whose been there from the beginning and helped him for a ‘shinier’ upgrade

But I won’t be surprised if there are gaps in his story

Ofcourse, It happens to everybody. When Ahmed Musa the football player upgraded, he left the over-weight wife after he made money in Middle East for a slim Port Harcourt babe, shortly after he married another slim Abuja babe.

So If a lady will leave you, then she will leave. Whether you upgraded her or not, what will be will be.

truthsayer009:
Ofcourse, It happens to everybody. When Ahmed Musa the football player upgraded, he left the over-weight wife after he made money in Middle East for a slim Port Harcourt babe, shortly after he married another slim Abuja babe.

So If a lady will leave you, then she will leave. Whether you upgraded her or not, what will be will be.

Lol nah the ‘upgrade’ is definitely THE chief factor, it is not whether you upgraded him/her or not

I do however find that men are given more grace to ‘upgrade’ than women who are expected to be ‘ride or dies’ and called all sorts of gold diggers

Jennyclay:
Upgrading your woman isn't a threat. Why is she your girlfriend/wife of you can't upgrade her? .

Reason I can never marry a broke man. A broke man who can't upgrade himself and you expect me to be with such man. God forbid!

You're talking out of point.
Your comment already shows you're a broke ass desperate gold digger.

I have a friend who always tell us that he can't marry a broke ass liability lady (like you) after hustling his way up

mariahAngel:
Oya, tell everyone what happened in-between the bolded, you deceiver!

Only a crazy woman would want to divorce a husband who's been that good to her.

We all know that no human is perfect… the man must have tolerated one imperfection or the other from her same way she must have tolerated his own imperfections… the truth is that after upgrading a woman, she may no longer be willing to tolerate what she would have tolerated if the man didn’t upgrade her.. herein lies the problem… remember she is not also a perfect being

This write up reminds me of my uncle...her wife was trying to divorced her after 4 children and have his property share into two.
One thing is certain in my life, I'll never do court marriage,,na nikah I go nothing like legal marriage

ibkayee:
Lol nah the ‘upgrade’ is definitely THE chief factor, it is not whether you upgraded him/her or not

I do however find that men are given more grace to ‘upgrade’ than women who are expected to be ‘ride or dies’ and called all sorts of gold diggers

But there is no formula to life itself, all those permutations people are doing will not guarantee anything per say. Maybe because I already have a paranoid mindset to life from the onset so nothing surprises me at all. That a woman would ask for divorce after x number of years when I have completely upgraded her doesn't come as a shock to me. If it will happen, then let it happen, the world goes on. As long as I don't go broke after the divorce itself, then I'm good.

CHoccolaTE:
What a disgusting thread filled with evil minded enemies of progress.

I have always said it that the average Nigerian man is a demonic beast, how can so many of you actively wish for your wives to always remain below you and advice each other to not help her rise in life?

If a random person says they wish their brother or neighbor should never rise above them in life, that random person will be called a wicked and evil person but when it's husband's wishing it for their wives, somehow that kind of wickedness becomes acceptable to them.

Your rubbish pride cannot handle a woman being better than you, that's why you people don't want your wives to rise above you, not because of the nonsense reasons you wrote here, in Nigeria presently, many wives are the ones feeding husband and children and they keep quiet about it to maintain their homes, look at that topic in frontpage about the woman whose husband spends all his money on gambling.


I don't blame you people, it's Nigerian women that love carrying marriages to evil men on their heads I blame.

Your statement would only be true for a man who deliberately marries and ambitious woman and try to suppress are growth so that she will not be better than him… there are about 4 billion women in d world, a man can find a woman who is not ambitious who is family oriented and just want to birth children, nurture them, take proper care of her husband and in return, her financial burden is borne by the man… and if the man has what it takes, and goes for this kind of arrangement then where is d wickedness in this?… have u noticed that most successful career women are single these days? High value men don’t want them because of the obvious

My place in Bayelsa state, a man from my extended family, had this very fine girl as girlfriend, and they both had three babies. Meanwhile, she was studying law; he was the the one sponsoring her. And immediately she rounded off and got a job, she left him. She gave the excuse that he was too old for her.
" fear women, guys".

jaxxy:
Depends on the type of woman u have... By ur woman I hope u mean ur wife not ur girlfriend?

Modified:
Reading the post, it seems to depend on the type of marriage u have and the type of relationship u have with u wife.

The woman doesn't love him she only loves the conditions, influence and things he does for her to keep her under his control. Buying gifts for each other doesn't mean shit when u have excess money to throw around.

Any day she sees him as powerless over her like she gers favored directly by a governor or president here in Nigeria she will still show her true colors again.

That is not love it is control.

You still dey speak grammar. You never know nothing. On the 23rd of December, I send my

abobote:
A threat, the other my wife reminded me that I promised to send her to school, I told her maybe after the fifth child, so that anything that happens from there I won't feel too bad.
We have only two kids together for now

You made her a promise and now you're renegading on it? Do you have any idea how much women hate men that "wield" their power/position/money over them?

You're simply making a monster out of your wife. Best hope she's not a vengeful person.

jaxxy:
Depends on the type of woman u have... By ur woman I hope u mean ur wife not ur girlfriend?

Modified:
Reading the post, it seems to depend on the type of marriage u have and the type of relationship u have with u wife.

The woman doesn't love him she only loves the conditions, influence and things he does for her to keep her under his control. Buying gifts for each other doesn't mean shit when u have excess money to throw around.

Any day she sees him as powerless over her like she gers favored directly by a governor or president here in Nigeria she will still show her true colors again.

That is not love it is control.

You still dey speak grammar. You never know nothing. Women are very brutal and they don't care about your feelings. On the 23rd of December, I sent my supposed girlfriend some cash for the Christmas. Babe called me to say that I was the best, blah blah. Since that 23rd till just yesterday, is when this babe called my line. I was really engaged with stuffs that 25th and so I didn't call or text her, and she didn't either. No Christmas message, nothing. After the 25th, I locked up and didn't try to call, and she didn't either too, until just that yesterday.

mariahAngel:
Oya, tell everyone what happened in-between the bolded, you deceiver!

Only a crazy woman would want to divorce a husband who's been that good to her.

You just dey realise sey your gender, many dey Kent?

truthsayer009:
Ofcourse, It happens to everybody. When Ahmed Musa the football player upgraded, he left the over-weight wife after he made money in Middle East for a slim Port Harcourt babe, shortly after he married another slim Abuja babe.

So If a lady will leave you, then she will leave. Whether you upgraded her or not, what will be will be.

The example you gave is not the same as the OP's.

Was it the over-weight wife that upgraded Ahmed Musa? Rather he upgraded himself before marrying another babe.

OP's case was about women biting the fingers that overfed them.

CHoccolaTE:
Don't mind these wicked liars.

Tufia, very nonsense thread. Just look at these demons in human flesh claiming women are not supposed to be better than their husband, As if women are not already doing the job of primary breadwinner in many families today.
You people are lucky that naija women are docile, if I find out that a man I married has this mentality, I will hustle relentlessly to make sure I end up more successful than him.

Make I see whether he go divorce me because his babyish ego cannot handle it.

Use your own money develop yourself.

Dshocker:
Men don't abuse power, except from few.

But most women will abuse it.

Have you ever heard of a wife publicly chatise their powerful husbands for abusing power? How many politicians wives have you seen speak publicly against their politician husbands abuse of power? They don't. They love that wickedness from their husbands, because that is their innate desire, to HSE power to do wicked stuffs.

ThierryJay:
The example you gave is not the same as the OP's.

Was it the over-weight wife that upgraded Ahmed Musa? Rather he upgraded himself before marrying another babe.

OP's case was about women biting the fingers that overfed them.

Yes you are correct, but my point was this can always happen to anyone. No one knows tomorrow.

It depends on the individual, infact the individual might be a responsible, loyal babe and all, but she can along the line change. I bought my gf a 2013 toyota camry, full option, thumb start, panoramic ...etc. The first day she ever said I LOVE YOU like for real the way it sounded was real. Months after we had issues, she claimed she couldnt drive home that night, but drove to GRA at one of her clients apartment hotel to stay the night, she was given an executive suit. That night I drove behind her, trying to stop her not to go, but omo she speed speed speed, i just dey talk am for my mind sey see this life, car wey i buy this woman na him she take her hand drive herself go her client apartment go sleep. I off.

Kobonaire234:
So what about the myraids of male Nigerian leaders who sent dss to arrest their opposition?

Were they women in disguise?

Was ibb, abacha, buhari, gej and yaradua under whose watch many people were arrested by dss women?

Ok o.

Tell me just one woman that divorced her or speak against their husbands' abuse of power? Women love these type of men, because they love and envy such dirty power play themselves.

Wellington123:
Your statement would only be true for a man who deliberately marries and ambitious woman and try to suppress are growth so that she will not be better than him… there are about 4 billion women in d world, a man can find a woman who is not ambitious who is family oriented and just want to birth children, nurture them, take proper care of her husband and in return, her financial burden is borne by the man… and if the man has what it takes, and goes for this kind of arrangement then where is d wickedness in this?… have u noticed that most successful career women are single these days? High value men don’t want them because of the obvious

They don't want them because they can't subjugate them.

Men marry women primarily so she can be dependent (financially) on him, and if she's dependent on him, she has no choice but be submissive. It's an ego thing for men. If it looks like she won't need him as much as he would like, he turns the other way. Same reason why well to do men don't go after rich men's daughters is why these same men greedily go after broke/struggling/below their status ladies.

On the other hand, women aren't as submissive as men want them to be. Nature didn't make women submissive, culture did. Majority are only submissive because the man wields the power in the home. If he's too rigid and demeaning with it, she takes her first grab at freedom and aims to escape from under him. It's a vicious cycle at this point.


My thoughts on this is that the majority of the negatives encountered with upgrading a wife is much more dependent on the type of man you are, than on the type of woman your wife is.

folake4u:
Men don't abuse power?? This is clearly laughable.

I'm amused right now.

Men don't abuse power in the sense women do.

2elliot:
Tell me just one woman that divorced her or speak against their husbands' abuse of power? Women love these type of men, because they love and envy such dirty power play themselves.

Better marry a man since women are so awful to you but men are perfect.

2elliot:
Men don't abuse power in the sense women do.

Kay.

BMathew:
I saw this post on Facebook, guys what's your honest opinion?

One of my senior friend met his wife in the 1990s as a typist working in a business centre near a court. He was smitten by her and promised to upgrade her.

He is a lawyer, he married her and trained her in school to become a lawyer too. She was called to bar, he got her a job in the court and she became a Legal Assistant at Judiciary.

His aim was for her to become a judge or magistrate. Presently, she is a Chief Registrar, she would have been among the judges appointed by Governor Wike except that she was originally from Akwa Ibom.

My senior friend have on many occasions travelled to the UK, USA, Germany and Hong-Kong. He never thought of divorcing the wife or abandoning his family. They have 4 children together.

Few years back, he decided for the first time to travel with the wife. The wife's sister has been living in the USA. He trained the wife's sister too, she met her husband who took her to the USA while living in his house in Port Harcourt.

The USA Embassy usually give 2 years Tourist Visa to first timers. So his wife got 2 years. While they were in the USA it was decided that the wife stayed back and give birth to their last child whom she was pregnant with.

My senior friend came back to Nigeria, few months after she gave birth and was expected back. A lawyer from FIDA (Women's Lawyers Association in Nigeria) served my friend a Divorce Petition.

He was heartbroken. He still loved his wife, but she said she wanted to stay back and was no longer interested in the marriage.

At the end of the day my senior friend was able to use her family and some of their mutual friend to talk to her. He promised to have a joint bank account with her and do all other conditions she stated, including another marriage at the registry.

She came back. He stole her passport. He decided within himself never ever to let her travel again. They celebrated their 25th anniversary recently. They were so happy in church, she bought him an expensive wristwatch, while he bought her a car. They have not done the marriage at the registry.

During his birthday last year, she surprised him with a trip to Transcorp Hotel, Abuja. She loves the husband, but if he allowed her to travel to UK or Canada today, she will begin to see a world better than what she has and she will forget her love for him and wish to have something better than him.

My friend has decided that he will make sure she doesn't become a judge. He wants his daughter, who was recently called to the bar to go into the judiciary, and he will pursue for her to become a judge in place of her mother.

He has learned his lesson, but the wife doesn't know this. The wife is not a bad person. She was being a wvmån. It is a biological trait in them.

Don't wait till it happens to you before you learn.

Go to many families in Anambra and Abiriba whose children flooded overseas in the late 1990s to 2000s; I make bold to say that 70% the mothers who went for Omogwu never came back to their husband. They abandoned their younger children, the family, and their husband and stayed back.

If you genuinely love your wvmån, do not upgrade her to a better life that she has never been accustomed to, you will regret it bitterIy. Build your wvmån but keep her below you.

Seun, RoyalRoy

50/50

BMathew:
I saw this post on Facebook, guys what's your honest opinion?

One of my senior friend met his wife in the 1990s as a typist working in a business centre near a court. He was smitten by her and promised to upgrade her.

He is a lawyer, he married her and trained her in school to become a lawyer too. She was called to bar, he got her a job in the court and she became a Legal Assistant at Judiciary.

His aim was for her to become a judge or magistrate. Presently, she is a Chief Registrar, she would have been among the judges appointed by Governor Wike except that she was originally from Akwa Ibom.

My senior friend have on many occasions travelled to the UK, USA, Germany and Hong-Kong. He never thought of divorcing the wife or abandoning his family. They have 4 children together.

Few years back, he decided for the first time to travel with the wife. The wife's sister has been living in the USA. He trained the wife's sister too, she met her husband who took her to the USA while living in his house in Port Harcourt.

The USA Embassy usually give 2 years Tourist Visa to first timers. So his wife got 2 years. While they were in the USA it was decided that the wife stayed back and give birth to their last child whom she was pregnant with.

My senior friend came back to Nigeria, few months after she gave birth and was expected back. A lawyer from FIDA (Women's Lawyers Association in Nigeria) served my friend a Divorce Petition.

He was heartbroken. He still loved his wife, but she said she wanted to stay back and was no longer interested in the marriage.

At the end of the day my senior friend was able to use her family and some of their mutual friend to talk to her. He promised to have a joint bank account with her and do all other conditions she stated, including another marriage at the registry.

She came back. He stole her passport. He decided within himself never ever to let her travel again. They celebrated their 25th anniversary recently. They were so happy in church, she bought him an expensive wristwatch, while he bought her a car. They have not done the marriage at the registry.

During his birthday last year, she surprised him with a trip to Transcorp Hotel, Abuja. She loves the husband, but if he allowed her to travel to UK or Canada today, she will begin to see a world better than what she has and she will forget her love for him and wish to have something better than him.

My friend has decided that he will make sure she doesn't become a judge. He wants his daughter, who was recently called to the bar to go into the judiciary, and he will pursue for her to become a judge in place of her mother.

He has learned his lesson, but the wife doesn't know this. The wife is not a bad person. She was being a wvmån. It is a biological trait in them.

Don't wait till it happens to you before you learn.

Go to many families in Anambra and Abiriba whose children flooded overseas in the late 1990s to 2000s; I make bold to say that 70% the mothers who went for Omogwu never came back to their husband. They abandoned their younger children, the family, and their husband and stayed back.

If you genuinely love your wvmån, do not upgrade her to a better life that she has never been accustomed to, you will regret it bitterIy. Build your wvmån but keep her below you.

Seun, RoyalRoy

low self esteem. If you know your worth, upgrading anyone won't be your headache

Lots of bitter people on nairaland

Tales by moonlight

ibkayee:
So she just served him divorce papers for absolutely no other reason other than she wanted to stay in the US?

The guy sounds very possessive and controlling, so whilst I can’t categorically say he did anything or what he did, I won’t be surprised if there are gaps in this story and incriminating details have intentionally been left out.

Something about this story creeped me out

Yes she did.....cos she is "fed up" or "bored"....that's women for you....