Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? - Family (4)

Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? (23555 Views)

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Flesh10: 11:00pm On Jan 21, 2023

That manipulating Bitch will set u against your family. You have to know that in life when trouble comes your family will always be the one for you.

See ehh, I am not a fan of people carrying family problems on their head, that is the fastest route to poverty OR not achieving anything but inasmuch as we don't want to be caught into the web of black tax we also do not want to completely cut off family members.

That your girlfriend is already showing signs of a domineering partner that will chase away your family members from the house and only welcome her own people. You have to curtail her or live with a wicked soul.

Pay attention to how she treats other people you will see that whatever doesn't benefit her, she cuts it off.

I don't want any family member to stay with me but I will not tolerate my fiancee doing the chasing. Never!

3 Likes

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Sterope(f): 11:00pm On Jan 21, 2023

You know the answer.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by albert2512: 11:01pm On Jan 21, 2023

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).

When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.

I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.

She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.

Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.

The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her.

Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?

N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Bros, you never see wife wey u go marry.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by DLivingAncestor: 11:01pm On Jan 21, 2023

Aliou007:
NEVER put your girlfriend before FAMILY. Don't ever think about it sef. Die the thought bros.

Exactly

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by jaxxy(m): 11:02pm On Jan 21, 2023

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).

When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.

I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.

She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.

Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.

The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her.

Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?

N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

I sincerely have a problem with a girl that dislikes or can't put up with my family especially if my family member is not problematic.

I also can't accept a girl that shops for excuses to validate her reasons when she should know families and situations are different or is she just unintelligent to know that?

I can understand there should be boundaries in marriage bt in a relationship no so why is she demanding for such even before marriage? It shows lack of understanding, empathy and intolerance.

I will not deal with any girl who can't handle her inlaws in a genuine and fair manner as she will expect of u if it were her own family member in marriage.

Is ur gf wrong? Yes. Is this a red flag? if she can't accept she is wrong in this scenario then Yes it is a red flag.

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by taxiappguy: 11:03pm On Jan 21, 2023

OP, she is 100% correct. Your anger is not justified, only swift action can help you here. Like madam has said, you need to man up and say no to her! She needs to leave your house ASAP. Who girlfriend help. When the chips are down and your sister bounces back which I am one million percent certain she will and God forbid small challenge happen to you, who do you think will bat for you? Your inconsiderate girlfriend? You need to chase her out quick before she poisons the baby.

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Goodlady(f): 11:04pm On Jan 21, 2023

cedricksly:
lol for boyfriend and girl matter that isn't even fiancee yet, Talkless marriage... If the said girlfriend dey stay her own house she rent with her money and not living 90% in his boyfriend house this kind talk for no show up. If she is tired she should stay in her own house where nobody will disturb her.. This same person tomorrow if them marry her, Na her type family dey give the husband person to train.. THE YOUNG MAN HAS RIGHT TO ACCOMMODATE HIS FAMILY MEMBER AS IT DEEM IT FIT UNTIL HE IS MARRIED, PROVIDED HE IS COOL WITH IT AND DOESN'T CONSIDER IT A Burden. Then dey talk apartment na 1 room ur mind self go. Are there not mutiple room apartment other than 1 room? She only has right to complain if they were roommates or legally married. I once accommodated my then girlfriend sister & husband for 1year 3 months, we need help at one point of our lives, and till date I do not regret accommodating them because the house was filled with Reciprocated respect and the man was 101% responsible... Infact when me and the mumu girl broke up, I hide it from the couple so they don't feel unwelcome, they found out 7months later... Life no hard, Na we dey over complicate tinx

But saw nothing wrong as his sister became a baby mama. Remove the log from your eyes first.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Goodlady(f): 11:05pm On Jan 21, 2023

Aliou007:
Shut up abeg.

You are the I e to shut up!
😡 Angry 😡💢💢💢💢😡😡😡😡😡

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by qtguru(m): 11:06pm On Jan 21, 2023

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).

When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.

I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.

She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.

Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.

The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her.

Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?

N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Would it be a problem if it were her sister ?

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Goodlady(f): 11:06pm On Jan 21, 2023

Thermodynamics:
Stop supporting rubbish, if the girl was the op girlfriend's sister wouldn't she offer the same help? Women do not like too much visiting but if it's the woman's family member she can harbour them forever, you women are very very selfish creatures, you only think of how this will benefit you all the time, it's all about me me me, if I'm the OP I'll kick out that self-centred bìtch of a girlfriend out of my life.

If the OP marry that yeye girl him own don finish.

Ymis the girl responsible for his sister's predicament? You no even talk of the irresponsible man that's maltreating the sister. Men like you are toys controlled by families.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Goodlady(f): 11:07pm On Jan 21, 2023

Positiveme2020:
.
My family is No.1 , no gf can come between me and my siblings.

See his mouth like family mouth! 👄

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Goodlady(f): 11:07pm On Jan 21, 2023

Nehyooh:
The truth here is that the girlfriend seems not to be accommodating, stylishly dictating to the guy. Agreed, let say the older sister was unlucky with the man, her condition is apparent enough, so what's wrong if she stay with her brother for the mean time? The girlfriend is not even yet a wife, but still left her parents house and decided to be cohabitating with a guy she's not married to yet.

I don't tolerate nonsense!
Why will just an ordinary girlfriend be saying/doing rubbish towards my siblings that I've known for years before I come across her.

What's the assurance that the so called "girlfriend" is even faithful to the guy?

NB: Not every girlfriend becomes "future wife"
Good characters is one of the top traits responsible man look for in a lady. The girlfriend seems authoritative!

She's a good gf

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Thermodynamics(m): 11:12pm On Jan 21, 2023

Goodlady:
Ymis the girl responsible for his sister's predicament? You no even talk of the irresponsible man that's maltreating the sister. Men like you are toys controlled by families.

I rather be a toy controlled by my family who genuinely love and would stand by me during difficult times, than to be a simp to one self-centred woman who will run away at the slightest sign of distresse, I'll quickly do away with any woman wife/girlfriend before I do away with any member of my family.

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by CDCEO001: 11:16pm On Jan 21, 2023

A decent family knows that is not proper to move in to a man house when they are not married. A girl you are not yet married to moved into your house and want to push your sister away and you are here asking questions. Let that your yeye girlfriend go to her own house and visit on weekends. She will probably chase your family members away when you get married.

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Johnsown1(m): 11:18pm On Jan 21, 2023

That girlfriend of yours needs a chill pill because she is over reacting. There is nothing wrong with your sister staying with you.
I know that woman always want their space and they always want to be in control but I think it's too early for the complaint. You just need to watch out because it might be a red flag

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Igwetech: 11:21pm On Jan 21, 2023

Any woman that cannot support you helping or housing any of your siblings while still dating is not worth to be your wife period. Can she do such to her siblings? Just asking? Was she responsible for the house rent or the upkeeping? Women knows themselves better and she doesn't want her to spill her beans

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by cedricksly: 11:26pm On Jan 21, 2023

Goodlady:
But saw nothing wrong as his sister became a baby mama. Remove the log from your eyes first.

madam there is no log in my eyes, I choose not to judge anybody in this my life coz I myself is far from perfect, rather it is you who is an Hypocrite. By all standard baby mama is far better than abortion that most of you involve yourself with, because majority of you flush yours down the toilet and someone choose to keep hers does not make her less of a human.. Look at yourself, a sinner judging another sinner for sinning differently.. And mind you, that baby mama issh wasn't the main plot of the whole Narration, if it was, he would have laid emphasis... See Aunty Goodlady just be going lets not start with each other this night.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Origin(f): 11:34pm On Jan 21, 2023

This life na cycle....

Na turn by turn....

Ask her if this happened to you would you want your brother to accommodate you and ease you huh

Just imagine that in the future something happens to you and it's only your sister that can help will she be able to stay with her peacefully then?

That conversation should be strictly between your wife and yourself. Avoid your wife interfering in your family matter or your family interfering with your wife.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by dannex4adx(m): 11:41pm On Jan 21, 2023

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).

When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.

I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.

She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.

Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.

The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her.

Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?

N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

Your girlfriend is a devil, infact she is a witch. She wants to destroy the relationship between you and your family. You know your sister first before you idiotic girlfriend. If anything bad happens to you (God forbid) your stupid, empty skull girlfriend will abandon you and only your family will stay beside you.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by AdviserGeneral: 11:43pm On Jan 21, 2023

Red flag! Just be careful. She is still your girlfriend and not yet your wife, and she is making such orders and threats. Whatever you are seeing now is what will play out in the nearest future. No member of your family would be welcomed in your house once you marry her. Don't allow her tear your relationship with your siblings apart

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Goodlady(f): 12:00am On Jan 22, 2023

Thermodynamics:
I rather be a toy controlled by my family who genuinely love and would stand by me during difficult times, than to be a simp to one self-centred woman who will run away at the slightest sign of distresse, I'll quickly do away with any woman wife/girlfriend before I do away with any member of my family.

Family man calm down. No one is saying you should send your kins away. But you ll likely lack a strong woman by your side.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by jclassiq(m): 12:21am On Jan 22, 2023

It seems that yours is a family of irresponsible people.

What tribe are you? Well let me guess... Never mind.

This is very embarrassing in case you don't know it yet.

No family values or principles. Just cohabiting without marriage. Your parents did a poor job; perhaps they also did the same thing.

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Thermodynamics(m): 12:24am On Jan 22, 2023

Goodlady:
Family man calm down. No one is saying you should send your kins away. But you ll likely lack a strong woman by your side.

"Send your family away" That's exactly what the OP's girlfriend is saying.
Strong woman or bad woman?

I don't need a toxic, self-centred, do for me all the time kind of women please.
And I definitely don't need a feminist as well, these are not strong women, these are toxic women.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Queengolden(f): 12:26am On Jan 22, 2023

Reinamaria:
Since your sister has gotten herself a place and moved out, what is the point of bringing the issue here?
What do you really want to know?
I honestly want to know.

you sound like the sister

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Victoxy(m): 12:26am On Jan 22, 2023

Feminist Dem 🙄🤶🦹🦹🦹🎠😂🇱🇷🇨🇦🏄🏄

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Chidi2022: 12:35am On Jan 22, 2023

The only thing i want you to know is that, your girlfriend is not accommodating one bit, neither is she tolerant... Just know that if you marry that lady, your family members will become outcast in your own house... Think am well...
Not after marrying a woman that will use pepper body and strong face to chase all your families away, then when you need help and don't get it from your families, you will start labelling them bad....

1 Like

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by 4ward4: 12:43am On Jan 22, 2023

Marry a woman who understands where you are coming from . Obviously she doesn’t understand, I guess that is exactly what your elder brother is experiencing but he can’t speak out . Deep down in him ,he really wished to help.
I have seen where a man had to move his brothers to stay in his house because he was the first born . Trying to plan a future for them . Luckily he had a good wife , she understood until all those boys were able to stand on their own. Of course there must be frictions but she handled it with wisdom .
Just know exactly where you are coming from. Take this to the Bank , never you marry such woman , you will see hell on earth . Gradually in order to please her , you will be drifting from your family and eventually end up becoming a stranger to your family

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by REALretep(m): 12:46am On Jan 22, 2023*

Slime7:
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her.

Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?

N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

She appears like one that will cut you off from your family if given the chance 🥱 (check bolded above).

Maybe there's something about your family she doesn't like
Or maybe she's not just the family-friendly type which is a critical trait you should consider if you intend to wife her

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by medriano: 12:57am On Jan 22, 2023

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).

When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.

I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.

She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.

Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.

The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her.

Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?

N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

That girlfriend of yours is sick in the head. What right has she to decide who stays with you? Imagine an outsider dictating to you how you should treat your own blood. These are the signs we always ask people to look out for. Your gf is not a good person, dump her now before she turns you against your family. She is bad news.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by zedegit: 1:01am On Jan 22, 2023

caesymore:
.

Hmmmm. making relationship sound like a Job or I'm I the only one seeing it this way... you see why real Niggas run from all this relationship as it comes with a lot of burdens these days.

Na so one dey disturb me like yesterday say she loves me and would like to be my Wife I laugh tire ( the boldness off me), I come wonder wetin she fit offer me apart from her toto, just this morning Babe dey yarn me say she dey Hungry with beta boldness oh, I come tell am make she find something chop she say make I send am money I off, I told her if she recalled what she told me yesterday she said yes, then I replied her that she needs a good paying Job and not a Husband. babe provoke still dey ask me wetin I mean

Ladies should be comfortable to a point before thinking marriage as e get wetin hunger fit do you, you go marry to quench hunger and not marry out of love.

That's women for you.

Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by Magnoliaa(f): 1:09am On Jan 22, 2023

joyousever:
So since your sister has gotten a place, so why did you bring up the issue here and what do you want us to do? To me, since the bone of contention has been resolved, there's no issue here anymore.

As for your gf, she didn't overreact and her anger was justified! Every normal lady will react negatively to the whole scenario. And yes! Me too, I've never seen an elder sister that lives with her younger bro time and again without an iota prestige! And why does she keep having relationship troubles? You need your own space abeg!

Like, wooowww. 😮

I was thinking something was wrong with me all along oooo.

Like how EXACTLY is this girlfriend at fault?? In this matter??

It is very very scary the way the opinions here flippantly talk about women.

Some are even saying she be girlfriend, not wife yet? Like for real?? Nor be someone you value, VALUE ENOUGH as a gf you go wife? How exactly can a gf be someone without no worth, but a wife is/will be? Where exactly is that switch going to happen?

It's one thing helping your family members, but why the constant encroaching on space? And why not with the other brother WHO IS MARRIED? Those ones nor fit collect nonsense abi?

This same situation will easily turn to "disrespect" and control of a simp boyfriend if it was the wife's brother/sister that was always coming to her place to crash whenever he has relationship issues o.

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Re: Am I Being Manipulated? Is Her Anger Justified? by MansoryMX(m): 1:11am On Jan 22, 2023*

Slime7:
Hi guys,
I need your advice on this. It is causing issues in my 2 years relationship.
I came to Lagos in 2018 after my NYSC. Prior to that, I had plans for my older sister to come stay with me, considering how difficult things were.
Note that my married eldest brother was in Lagos before then. I understand that maybe he needs his privacy, but he didn't help in any way (he didn't have to).

When I got the apartment, I met my girlfriend while she was serving in Lagos. My older sister has yet to move in with me, but I have mentioned to her not once but twice that she will soon come and live with me.

I will also like to mention that my elder sister was living with her boyfriend before I came to Lagos. This doesn't seem right to me or to her.

She moved in, and we were living together peacefully. Along the way, she broke up with her boyfriend. About 6 months later, she got into another relationship. The man seems interested in marrying her. And they were making plans for settling down. Unfortunately, she got pregnant out of wedlock for the man. She had to move in with the man.

Now this is where the issues begin. After a few months (after her childbirth), they always have issues. They go on and off. Two times they had issues; she carried her bag and came to my place. Two times it happened, and she stayed with me for not more than two months put together. This didn't go well with my girlfriend. She complained that my sister is always in the picture, and she doesn't like that.

The third time, the man abused my sister, and he beat her up. I went to the man's house with my "married eldest brother." We fought with the man and threatened to arrest him. He pleaded, plus the neighbors and the landlord too. That night, we took my sister away from him. My sister chose to stay at my place until she gets an apartment for herself and her kid.

This really annoyed my girlfriend. She always says things like, "My family does not respect me." That's why my sister can move in to my house knowing that I am in a relationship.
"Why does she like to stay with me and not my brother?" "Why do I have to always be the one to bear the burden?" Note that my sister works, and she can take care of herself and her kid. She just needed a place to stay until she got her own apartment.

She feared that my sister could just move in with her bags when we get married, which I have assured her is not possible.
She claims she likes her space and all. She claims she doesn't like the "on and off" as sometimes she may want to spend a "lone" time with me. Spend weekends... and this won't be possible when my sister is around.
She claims that she has never seen a scenario where an older sister with a kid is leaving with younger brother.
She always give instances where she has never seen guys in relationships allow their older sister to come stay with them.
She claimed that sometimes I should "man up" and say NO to her.

Is she overreacting? What did I do wrong in all of this? Am I being manipulated? Is her anger justified?

N.B My sister has gotten a place for herself and has moved out.

I am not concerned about your sister moving in and out of your house as she like. That's up to you to fix man. What I am more concerned is that have any of you taken your time to look at things from a neutral view to see if your sister is the faulty one? Lately a lot of women are giving their man serious headache and lack of peace of mind for no just reason and as a result of this! So many broken homes lately. My elder sister wanted to carry that leg, our family sat her down and talked to her about creating peace in your home. I will advice yall call your sister and advice her. Nothing dey street for woman wey don drop one and getting older but if her man is the one causing the quarrel for no just reason then her walking away is justified. The reason I am saying this is because women are manipulators, quarrel igniters. When they start a fire for no just reason and get burnt they will wails "He beat me". As for your girlfriend, make her understand that you will set boundaries to enable her have her privacy be it as your girlfriend or later your wife.

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