₦airaland Forum

sharone21:
The 'illegal' stresses men give themselves eg cheating, womanizing, keeping unnecessary secrets,gambling etc apart from what could actually stress them: village people due to envy, politics, lifestylechoices: drinking, smoking etc

The woman carries pregnancy for 9 months and pushes out baby ALONE..... Does house chores, some will even fetch water ( pregnant/ not) in homes where they have wells while their able bodied men are alive, do home work/ breast feed/ cook almost at same time, chase higher degrees like men, chase money.....

And the only thing men can do to show they are REAL MEN which is looking for money, they still beg for support from women... They turn cry babies and say: they need support from women.....looking for money is not for only one person( I wonder the day men will help women carry pregnancy and push out babies)..... Men will not die of stress chasing money( lol.... Thing wen women dey do and not crying, just that when married at least there should be VALUE added to a woman's life by her King.... Women may talk to their men inside the house so they live up to expectations but women try not to spread this outside to preserve the dignity of their 'ogas'....

I think the men are physically stronger but women have inner strength and resilience besides from birth women have been going through PAINS and thus are stronger... Pains like: ear piercing, making their hair, seeing their period, carrying pregnancy, pushing out babies unlike men that the major pain they had was circumcision which some girls also do.

Anyway, I thank God that despite being tagged the weaker gender and ladened with more work especially in Africa, women still live longer.

Beautiful. . . .

OvertheTop:
You are Right My brother....
But it is not Easy o....in the face of a Judgmental Society.

imagine the shame if one's kid is Sent home from School for Not paying the School fees...
All the Mother will say is: Papa Emeka, Go and pay school fee o. and she will just free her mind....knowing you will go and look for the money....
the Man will now be running Helter Skelter for the Money and he might even borrow (more future Pressure)

This is Just 1 out of the Most Troublesome bills on a Family Man's Head.

He Still has to Think about:

House Rent 300k/Year
Transportation to Work/School 50k/Month ===> 600k/Year
Feeding the Family Monthly(H W+2kids) 70k/Month====> 840k/Year
School fee (2kids) like 250k/Year

TOTAL like : 1.9 Million Per Year

and you want to Save to build a House of Like N 20 Million for the family
and you want to Buy a Luxury Car for the family of like N 4 to 5 Million


How will the Man Sleep at Night??
Especially when he knows His Job/ Source of income is NOT STABLE


In my own Opinion: The Greater Killer of Man is day-to-day FAMILY EXPENSES
because he is Worried to complete the Above task for over 20 Years (till the kids Leave School and get a Job)

Hmm... The children grows up and focus on their mothers. Infact the fathers become irrelevant. May we not sow and reap pains.

KanwuliaExtra:
Understood.
I have one family member whose wife has abandoned him because he is 'stressed' from working. He stays on the internet arguing on social media platforms till he was fired from his job for 'online tradiing and gambling'! Now, he has high blood pressure and has moved in with another family member. The wife and children have relocated farrrrrrrr away from him to avoid further conflicts. The only son has copied his father's habits and sleeps online too, instead of obeying house rules concerning social media addiction.

Father addict. . .
Son addict. . .

I don't know ANY FAMILY HERE IN THE DIASPORA WITH ONE FAMILY INCOME. Or the father as a sole bread winner. The men will NOT EVEN ALLOW IT. . . unless they are dealing with 'newly imported spouses' or spouses with academic or medical challenges.

I DO NOT KNOW ONENIGERIAN MAN AROUND ME THAT IS A BREAD-WINNER. You cannot make it as an individual or as a family with ONE INCOME. It is NOT POSSIBLE IN THE DIASPORA. . . .It is even the wives that are mostly the bread-winners. Most of our NIGERIAN MEN have lost the zeal to maintain meaningful employment and really give up easily because of their love for 'get rich or die tryng' fraudulent mentalities!

Then the set of Nigerian men you know are a sorry bunch. Best you don't associate with those cos one needs people that would help one grow around them not people that would pull you down to their level. You better run

oz4real83:
A man already has a lot of personal pressures added to other family pressures. That same man falls in love and the girl he falls in love with suddenly becomes an "orphan" without family and dumps all her life worries and pressures on that same man. When they become married, children pressure becomes added to an already overstressed man, how will such a man live long 🙄🙄

Whatever you're doing make sure you don't over burden yourself with unnecessary pressure from other people, worrying and inconveniencing yourself up and down. Provide for your family; what you have give them, and what you don't have tell them I DON'T HAVE!! I assure you they won't die.

drnoel:
Then the set of Nigerian men you know are a sorry bunch. Best you don't associate with those cos one needs people that would help one grow around them not people that would pull you down to their level. You better run

Notice that our men die untimely because they have no peace in their homes? Nigerian women are not good. African-American women are 'demons'. . .Caucasian women get wrinkled too fast. . . .all kinds of excuses. Is there any kind of woman that can please them? Even the ''village virgins"? Make dem try find happiness and stop spreading acrimony in relationships abeg. Women can be psychotic too. YES. But it takes two!

A sorry bunch is an understatement. Especially in the medical field. If you earn more than your husband, na wahala o. If you husbands EARNS more than you as 'BREAD-WINNER" nko? . . . YOU DON DIE BE DAT! You go get 'co-wives' ke! Dem go pepper you ehn. . . .? Just sadistic and manipulative. The reason most of them get thrown out of the houses in the diaspora TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND UNGOING STRESS!!! They will want you to 'submit' your paycheck and use ' OSINACHI BIBLICAL JAZZ' to try to control you like most men do in Africa. I know many women who would rather suffer in silence than be divorced in the diaspora. So the men take advantage of the situation.

Flip side. If a Nigerian woman sits at home and does nothing to help. . .she will fall out of favor in her marriage. It forces her to STRUGGLE and pull her pants up!

I am not associating the 'sorry bunch' phenomenon to ALL Nigerian or African men. Truth be told, MOST our men are extremely 'spoiled' and catered to in the African context as 'kings'. When they leave the shores of Africa. . . they experience 'culture shock' and find it extremely difficult to adjust. The sense of entlement is unreal with misplaced priorities. The reason they quench. . . for lack of personal accomplishment.

The saddest part is that males and females born in the diaspora don't really have role models to look up to if the 'man' of the house has lost his way in the family by displaying the most unproductive work ethic. MANY NIGERIAN MEN KEEP DROPPING LIKE FLIES IN THE DIASPORA more than women. By 60. . . they claim 'disability' and stay at home.

No life insurance
No benefits
No investments

Only depression and mid-life crises.Then they rush home to start new families with new wives. . . then drop dead! Lack of material and spiritual content in OLD AGE IS A CURSE. No plan for retirement.

Ridiculous!

KanwuliaExtra:
I did not imply the above in any way.
Child rearing is mainly the responsibility of a woman.
The reason we have many single families headed by women(married or unmarried).
Even if men participate in raising children, most can only be there for brief periods. They are mostly out of the homes making a living or other families! FACT!

That's a lie... Breast feeding is for woman but child upbringing is for both... Simple... Even apes, wolf's, fox, penguin... Do these... It's natural and it's nature

Tycyborg:
That's a lie... Breast feeding is for woman but child upbringing is for both... Simple... Even apes, wolf's, fox, penguin... Do these... It's natural and it's nature

Ok.

KanwuliaExtra:
Notice that our men die untimely because they have no peace in their homes? Nigerian women are not good. African-American women are 'demons'. . .Caucasian women get wrinkled too fast. . . .all kinds of excuses. Is there any kind of woman that can please them? Even the ''village virgins"? Make dem try find happiness and stop spreading acrimony in relationships abeg. Women can be psychotic too. YES. But it takes two!

A sorry bunch is an understatement. Especially in the medical field. If you earn more than your husband, na wahala o. If you husbands EARNS more than you as 'BREAD-WINNER" nko? . . . YOU DON DIE BE DAT! You go get 'co-wives' ke! Dem go pepper you ehn. . . .? Just sadistic and manipulative. The reason most of them get thrown out of the houses in the diaspora TO AVOID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND UNGOING STRESS!!! They will want you to 'submit' your paycheck and use ' OSINACHI BIBLICAL JAZZ' to try to control you like most men do in Africa. I know many women who would rather suffer in silence than be divorced in the diaspora. So the men take advantage of the situation.

Flip side. If a Nigerian woman sits at home and does nothing to help. . .she will fall out of favor in her marriage. It forces her to STRUGGLE and pull her pants up!

I am not associating the 'sorry bunch' phenomenon to ALL Nigerian or African men. Truth be told, MOST our men are extremely 'spoiled' and catered to in the African context as 'kings'. When they leave the shores of Africa. . . they experience 'culture shock' and find it extremely difficult to adjust. The sense of entlement is unreal with misplaced priorities. The reason they quench. . . for lack of personal accomplishment.

The saddest part is that males and females born in the diaspora don't really have role models to look up to if the 'man' of the house has lost his way in the family by displaying the most unproductive work ethic. MANY NIGERIAN MEN KEEP DROPPING LIKE FLIES IN THE DIASPORA more than women. By 60. . . they claim 'disability' and stay at home.

No life insurance
No benefits
No investments

Only depression and mid-life crises.Then they rush home to start new families with new wives. . . then drop dead! Lack of material and spiritual content in OLD AGE IS A CURSE. No plan for retirement.

Ridiculous!

The men you know, the ones in your circle are really a sorry bunch. Why would a man finish the stress of having a family and then rush back to Nigeria at above 50 to start a new one? Food 4 thought. Means by the time he is 70 his first child is 20. Need I say more.
I think it's the circle of friends around that said individual.
There was a friend of mine that also had such a mind set till he saw my wife. He was always attempting to suppress his wife and always kept telling me not to give my wife free hand but I ignored him.
The time it dawned on him was one time he was very sick and madam was helpless. That was when I told him and I quote "bro, if you continue Ike this, you will die early". This life is too short

drnoel:
The men you know, the ones in your circle are really a sorry bunch. Why would a man finish the stress of having a family and then rush back to Nigeria at above 50 to start a new one? Food 4 thought. Means by the time he is 70 his first child is 20. Need I say more.
I think it's the circle of friends around that said individual.
There was a friend of mine that also had such a mind set till he saw my wife. He was always attempting to suppress his wife and always kept telling me not to give my wife free hand but I ignored him.
The time it dawned on him was one time he was very sick and madam was helpless. That was when I told him and I quote "bro, if you continue Ike this, you will die early". This life is too short

Not the men I know. . . THE MEN WE KNOW like MR. IBU!

The men you know like the one you described are typical MUNGO PARKS!

Giving wives “free hands” to sign checks or “drive cars”?

Chai!!! Women dey suffer sha! Thanks to the gods, we live longer without these “MUNGO PARKS”!

God cannot punish us twice in a lifetime.