₦airaland Forum

Tumbuleke:
Hello House,

Please, I need advise on how to console and encourage a friend of mine here in naija that heard the news of the death of her newly wedded husband who returned to the US after the wedding ceremony.

The husband lived in the US for so many years, he had a good woman/wife with two children. I don’t know if they were legally married or he settled with the lady and had kids with her for papers during his early years in the US.

Now, after years of being divorced or separated from the lady, I think a calabar US based woman according to him, he then met my friend at an occasion while he came to naija. He pick interest in her and proposed marriage, after like one or two years of communication over the phone. They got wedded seven months ago, and he flew back to the states. Communication continued via phone, until there was a break in communication, my friend here in naija tried to reach him but to no avail, until she called one of his US friend who went and confirmed that her husband was about entering his car packed on a hilly road, he forgot the handbrake wasn’t activated, and the car rolled with him to a tree…he had some fractures and rushed to the hospital. At a point, he was recuperating, although couldn’t speak to my friend on phone.Due to his extreme condition, I think the first wife came but shut every communication. So literally my friend was left in the dark until she heard that he had passed away.

His burial will be in the states, and his family here told my friend that they will come for discussion after the burial, probably for his properties which was gotten in both his name and wife’s name(my friend). Before his demise, he had told her how terrible most of his clans are, and how she should try to avoid them and keep things secret from them

How do I encourage her at this time and also the impending battle with her late husband’s family

1stGenAmerican:
Even IF he was really divorced, she isn’t entitled to any of his properties or money such as retirement or life insurance here in the US, especially if he lived in a community property state. The first wife was able to cut off communication which leads me to believe they were either still married or she was still listed as his next of kin. Add in the fact that he had kids who are his legal heirs unless they are adults and he went through the steps to legally disinherit them and things look even more bleak for the friend. And this is coming from me, a US-based lawyer.
OP, which US state did the man live in?

seanwilliam:
This is a lie from the pit of hell.

I can bet my two balls that your friend ( which is you) didn’t contribute nada to the said property.


From your narrative the man was financially buoyant and he had been sending money home before he met your friend( which is you ) but his family according to you was “eating the money” I know this is a false narrative to gather sympathy .

You and your friend na thief , she didn’t have any kid with him , and I’m sure during his short time with her, she enjoined part of his money too. She should move on .
Honestly speaking , it means that his demise is not painful to your friend self ( which is you ), y’all about his properties.


Who even know if na from your body e carry trouble




This is a reminder to guys out there,
Women no Dey love without benefit attached…

1stGenAmerican:
But you said in your first post that the first wife came and shut down communication. How did she do that without knowing where he lived?


There’s also a small chance that the man isn’t dead, he just wanted to ditch your friend and enlisted his family to lie for him.

Tumbuleke:
By shutting communication, I mean there was no phone of communication via phone call. One of the child that was given my friend some little information while he was in hospital, suddenly stopped communicating. She was left in the dark until he died. Even at present, she has no real details on what next consigning his dead body.

As of if he is dead or alive, sure he is dead.

1stGenAmerican:
OP, as a lawyer, asking probing questions and poking holes in testimony is a strong habit so forgive me. But why did your friend have to contact her husband’s US-based friend to find out anything about him when she could’ve just reached out to his family in Nigeria? I don’t understand why she was able to reach out to them about property but couldn’t reach out to them with concern after she stopped hearing from them. Also, why wouldn’t his family in Nigeria contact your friend, who is also in Nigeria, to tell her that her husband was dead?


This is all starting to make less and less sense.

If your friend doesn’t get matters cleared up, pm me his name and what state he lived in and in a few hours, I’ll tell your friend everything she needs to know.

yinkeys:
Nigerian legal documents might not hold water in USA

1stGenAmerican:
Even IF he was really divorced, she isn’t entitled to any of his properties or money such as retirement or life insurance here in the US, especially if he lived in a community property state. The first wife was able to cut off communication which leads me to believe they were either still married or she was still listed as his next of kin. Add in the fact that he had kids who are his legal heirs unless they are adults and he went through the steps to legally disinherit them and things look even more bleak for the friend. And this is coming from me, a US-based lawyer.
OP, which US state did the man live in?

simplepee:
Seven months old marriage and she’s getting this greedy about properties. A man she barely even know. People and greed ehn.

She should move on with her life abeg. The family should make sure all his properties get to the kids.

baby124:
Wife and kids are always entitled. Legally married wife and if culturally she can prove with a good lawyer that she is his wife, she will get something. In fact the US laws have priority of wife over children. If he did not leave a will. She will be the sole administrator of his estate. She should get a lawyer ASAP and contact the embassy.

A lot of new wives have inherited it all even with the man having prior children. Spouse always have priority. She is the one that should be making decisions, not the ex-wife or even his kids. She is the spouse and they will have to go through her before making decisions about his burial and his estate. The law is not emotional.

WhisperedNoise:
This matter is complicated.
I don't know if the Nigerian marriage will hold up because the man wasn't divorced from his wife in the US before he married another woman.
Bigamy is an offense in the US.

To be honest, I don't think there is any headway for the new wife to get any property. There's also the issue of will.

The new wife's chances are slim in my opinion. Very very slim.

RIP to the dead. May God comfort both families.

TheGoodAmerican:
How did she contribute? Does she have any receipts as evidence? They were married for 7-months. The properties the man has must have been established before she came along. The man just died and all she cares about are his properties. Clearly, she's a gold digger wanting to reap where she didn't sow. I hope his relatives in Nigeria ensures she gets nothing.

Tumbuleke:
I don't think the first wife will care about anything in naija. She is based in the US and have been separated for quite a long time. In-fact, I don't think she knows where he lives. Probably met both of themselves in the states during his early period. There is no much communication from the first wife, so literally my friend don't even know anything consigning him in the US. He was planning on moving my friend to the US by mid this year after completion of his project here in naija, which my friend supervise. So, it is his siblings and relatives that will come for the discussion here not his US based estrange wife

1stGenAmerican:
US divorce laws aren’t federal nor or they emotional and they differ from state to state. The laws of some states favor minor children over wives and vice versa. If his children are minors, they will be the priority in many of the 50 states. His ex-wife will also be entitled to a share if they were acquired during the marriage, again depending on the state he resided in. There is also a chance that his assets, if any, are community property. The second wife isn’t automatically entitled to be executrix or administrator. Thanks.

Tumbuleke:
Hello House,

Please, I need advise on how to console and encourage a friend of mine here in naija that heard the news of the death of her newly wedded husband who returned to the US after the wedding ceremony.

The husband lived in the US for so many years, he had a good woman/wife with two children. I don’t know if they were legally married or he settled with the lady and had kids with her for papers during his early years in the US.

Now, after years of being divorced or separated from the lady, I think a calabar US based woman according to him, he then met my friend at an occasion while he came to naija. He pick interest in her and proposed marriage, after like one or two years of communication over the phone. They got wedded seven months ago, and he flew back to the states. Communication continued via phone, until there was a break in communication, my friend here in naija tried to reach him but to no avail, until she called one of his US friend who went and confirmed that her husband was about entering his car packed on a hilly road, he forgot the handbrake wasn’t activated, and the car rolled with him to a tree…he had some fractures and rushed to the hospital. At a point, he was recuperating, although couldn’t speak to my friend on phone.Due to his extreme condition, I think the first wife came but shut every communication. So literally my friend was left in the dark until she heard that he had passed away.

His burial will be in the states, and his family here told my friend that they will come for discussion after the burial, probably for his properties which was gotten in both his name and wife’s name(my friend). Before his demise, he had told her how terrible most of his clans are, and how she should try to avoid them and keep things secret from them

How do I encourage her at this time and also the impending battle with her late husband’s family

baby124:
If he’s divorced. It’s not community property. All such properties are shared or split in a divorce if it’s acquired within the marriage. She is the automatic executor of the estate and more than likely this man was not a young man. If he’s got kids they are older. For the ex-wife to cut off communication shows she’s trying to play a fast one so OP needs to move fast and get what belongs to her. She’s his wife, end of. That’s why spouses must insist on a provision for their kids when married. I have seen this very well, in fact na new wife de inherit pass because his estate has to take care of her. The older children can take care of themselves. They can sue for a share but she’s entitled to no less than 50% of all his assets and she’s to make decisions for funeral arrangements and other things. Including bills sef. Guy may have a mortgage and liabilities she will also need to settle. So it goes both ways, reason why the wives are given priority. Family members only see the gain, not the gbese.

Tumbuleke:
Hello House,

Please, I need advise on how to console and encourage a friend of mine here in naija that heard the news of the death of her newly wedded husband who returned to the US after the wedding ceremony.

The husband lived in the US for so many years, he had a good woman/wife with two children. I don’t know if they were legally married or he settled with the lady and had kids with her for papers during his early years in the US.

Now, after years of being divorced or separated from the lady, I think a calabar US based woman according to him, he then met my friend at an occasion while he came to naija. He pick interest in her and proposed marriage, after like one or two years of communication over the phone. They got wedded seven months ago, and he flew back to the states. Communication continued via phone, until there was a break in communication, my friend here in naija tried to reach him but to no avail, until she called one of his US friend who went and confirmed that her husband was about entering his car packed on a hilly road, he forgot the handbrake wasn’t activated, and the car rolled with him to a tree…he had some fractures and rushed to the hospital. At a point, he was recuperating, although couldn’t speak to my friend on phone.Due to his extreme condition, I think the first wife came but shut every communication. So literally my friend was left in the dark until she heard that he had passed away.

His burial will be in the states, and his family here told my friend that they will come for discussion after the burial, probably for his properties which was gotten in both his name and wife’s name(my friend). Before his demise, he had told her how terrible most of his clans are, and how she should try to avoid them and keep things secret from them

How do I encourage her at this time and also the impending battle with her late husband’s family

1stGenAmerican:
Even IF he was really divorced, she isn’t entitled to any of his properties or money such as retirement or life insurance here in the US, especially if he lived in a community property state. The first wife was able to cut off communication which leads me to believe they were either still married or she was still listed as his next of kin. Add in the fact that he had kids who are his legal heirs unless they are adults and he went through the steps to legally disinherit them and things look even more bleak for the friend. And this is coming from me, a US-based lawyer.
OP, which US state did the man live in?

ObosiUkwalla:
If you believe this Op and his/her cock and bull story, then you might as well believe that my grandmom died a virgin

ImperialYoruba:
This story get k-leg.

First and foremost, your friend need an independent source to confirm husband is indeed dead. He could have met another girl in US and hooked, the story death used as coverup.

Did your friend see corpse, death certificate, or any of that? Does she know where he lives, work? Contact his work for independent verification.

ObosiUkwalla:
This ur friend, is she per chance called TINA?

ImperialYoruba:
This story get k-leg.

First and foremost, your friend need an independent source to confirm husband is indeed dead. He could have met another girl in US and hooked, the story death used as coverup.

Did your friend see corpse, death certificate, or any of that? Does she know where he lives, work? Contact his work for independent verification.

Tumbuleke:
Hello House,

How do I encourage her at this time and also the impending battle with her late husband’s family