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My Experience In NDLEA Jail - Crime (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by faceland: 2:25pm On Feb 01, 2023
Olachase:
And will you believe I was that officer that cut ur hair and slapped you, don't worry we will get you again, you felt you are smart by acting sick.😏😏

No worry eyes go jam again na boot I go take remove your teeth 😁😁😁

At least he is free but NDLEA officers are not free (unfortunately). He can go to the market easy but they are risking their life going to the market. Even Correctional Officers are 1000x freer than NDLEA due to the big drugs bust and then offending the foot soldiers that have nothing to lose.
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Average9jaman: 2:25pm On Feb 01, 2023
CallmeTrinity:


You are very lucky . I know someone NDLEA sent to 14 years in prison. He was arrested in a bunk and then I don't know what he did to the commander of the arresting team as you and I are speaking he is on awaiting trial it's been 9nyear So far and they said he is being charged with a crime for 14 years , he hasn't started serving oh. But 9 years so far on waiting trial.

Sad 😔
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by faceland: 2:27pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:



I had to leave out so many facts because the matter long to create novel, I didn't want NLanders to start complaining that I wrote an epistle....

As for my nightmares, I've been having them since I was young, I could remember fleeing to my parents room everynight until I got a grip on it and started managing it.

MJ completely eliminated it cause I stopped sleeping, I just get stoned and pass out, wake up the next morning like a new born baby.

Now I wake up an average of 4 times a night.... I go still dey manage am Sha... Cause sleeping pills could cause another addiction.

You can't have dreams when you are smoking weed... So dreams are the first thing that comes back when you quit.

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Eastcoastboy(m): 2:30pm On Feb 01, 2023
This guy with his excellent writing skill.

I still remember you. Bro hit me up let's collaborate and write a book. It'll sell I will put it up on Amazon KDP.

You all are wondering why his Dad acted that way well his Dad is a Reverend/Pastor of a strong Pentecostal church, so I'm not surprised.

How's your leg man? Has it healed totally?

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Edoziesmart(m): 2:36pm On Feb 01, 2023
Ckonnet:


I was surprise oo but it seems it happened around north where everything is possible.
The young man stays at Lafia (Nassarawa state).
So it is possible for cheapest ndlea bailout to be that 15k he said
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Chukazu: 2:37pm On Feb 01, 2023
Maybe God is teaching you something indirectly through the experience.

Found myself in prison as a teenager, when I was going for SATURDAY WAEC tutorial by Lagos KAI operators .

I experienced almost everything you mentioned, if not worst.

Then when I was freed, I developed compassion for prisoners and realised that God was actually calling me for a "PRISON OUTREACH SERVICE"

3 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by eben97: 2:41pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:



Oga why you dey cast my location grin

I dey try hide some facts here.... be careful.
been noting this ND guys with high presence around lafiya~ uni axis,i am not cool with their presence but,i dont do drugs hence, i sail on.The highest population of youths(over 80%) in Nass State are either drug addicts or junkies.I really pity for d youths of this place.theres no accountable future awaiting them o!
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by immanuelsize: 2:41pm On Feb 01, 2023
fringz11:
7 days

I spent 35 days in a Cameroon Police Cell on suspicion of being a Spy from Nigeria
pls, can you tell us more about this. Many will like to hear it. It may serve as a lesson in one way or the other to many people. Or create a thread for it. If you do, quote me.

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Neddstark: 2:45pm On Feb 01, 2023
Curious345:
Quit being a talkative .

No power is above the power of Mary j.

Only Dullard's feel and think otherwise.

If your head and soul no carry am , then gettat and leave it for those that are called for it .

Slaves who love their chains.
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by dammywapes(m): 2:49pm On Feb 01, 2023
Kna person snitch on you o bros e fit b your neighbors or those egbon adugbo wey see say you no look like person wey dey lack. Sm pple dey wey b say dem go jus dey vex for u say uno dey greet dem.

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by sisisioge: 3:04pm On Feb 01, 2023
grin grin grin grin

The same MJ that you walk into stores to buy here? You even get to select potency....30%, 80%, 100% anyhow your werey permit grin

2 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Igieso: 3:06pm On Feb 01, 2023
Hmm. Quite an encounter.
God no go true-true shame us... But, you need to take a break from the stuff that got you there. cool
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Moneyboyz: 3:16pm On Feb 01, 2023
Your concern should be who sold you out in your area.

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by mjuvey3: 3:18pm On Feb 01, 2023
faceland:


You can't have dreams when you are smoking weed... So dreams are the first thing that comes back when you quit.

So Bob Marley, Barack Obama , Fela kuti, 2pac Shakur etc never had dreams?

All these people I mentioned are/were addicted weed smokers.
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by faceland: 3:24pm On Feb 01, 2023
mjuvey3:


So Bob Marley, Barack Obama , Fela kuti, 2pac Shakur etc never had dreams?

All these people I mentioned are/were addicted weed smokers.

I mean dreams when you sleep. I know what am talking about. Now you can have a floord gate of inspiration while high and awake...

You can conduct your own experiment. Just smoke a little daily for 6 months and you would not dream while sleeping in those 6 months. The day you quit, it would be too much dreams. It is biological.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by SerikiFulani(m): 3:25pm On Feb 01, 2023
I smoked weed for 22 years.

The problem with smoking is that long-term users do suffer from a life threatening ailment caused by organ damage.

I did exercise,ate good,had enough rest yet I was losing weight and looking unhealthy.

I smoked at least Ten stick a day and for 22 years,I never went a day without smoking weed.

I have a lot to say but I can't cos it might sound ridiculous to some people but anything smoke is bad for your body organs.....You won't feel anything until a small sickness like malaria or typhoid hits you.

The set of people I pity the most are youths of nowadays doing Loud, Colorado & Black mamba.....They will suffer the consequences in the future except they quit now.

Weed is a destiny delayer.....Run from it.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by mjuvey3: 3:31pm On Feb 01, 2023
faceland:


I mean dreams when you sleep. I know what am talking about. Now you can have a floord gate of inspiration while high and awake...

You can conduct your own experiment. Just smoke a little daily for 6 months and you would not dream while sleeping in those 6 months. The day you quit, it would be too much dreams. It is biological.

My brother,I'm a regular weed smoker and I can tell you that in the last ten years,I've only had about 25 vivid dreams....I hardy dream.... Infact,in a year I might not dream or not remember it at all.

I thought you meant dreams as in ambition.

1 Like

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by faceland: 3:35pm On Feb 01, 2023
mjuvey3:


My brother,I'm a regular weed smoker and I can tell you that in the last ten years,I've only had about 25 vivid dreams....I hardy dream.... Infact,in a year I might not dream or not remember it at all.

I thought you meant dreams as in ambition.

Oh, I see. Yes, the day you quit, they would come back fully. 😄

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by dauntless15(m): 3:37pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...
Lol I am surprised no one took time to mention your awesome writing prowess, so interesting and immersive, you're one talented dude, I bet na the dope give you inspiration like this. cheesy

2 Likes

Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Itsernie: 3:42pm On Feb 01, 2023
You went through a horrible experience please don't do drugs again
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Sweetvie: 3:44pm On Feb 01, 2023
Omo! shocked
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by blackpanda: 4:13pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:



Thanks Sire...

I really ain't an addict though, I've been living and working on my own for about four years now, I just like the cruise feeling.

But as I don cast, it's better that way, atleast I could motivate myself to be clean completely.

I don't suffer withdrawal symptoms either, just that my nightmares have returned fully, that was the major reason why I started getting stoned to sleep though, but I'll survive, no lele.



BTW I just came back from a counseling session, I'll be returning every week for check ups too. I'll be good.

So sorry. Hope you get well soon and get on with your life
Best of luck
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Silentgroper(m): 4:17pm On Feb 01, 2023
brain54:
Hey junkie…


Now you don be ex convict oh! 😜


I enjoy your Tory sha… I bet you weren’t thinking of writing it while in the cell…

You go Dey alright!


Candidlady is up next..



Right, false prophet??
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Silentgroper(m): 4:22pm On Feb 01, 2023
CallmeTrinity:


You are very lucky . I know someone NDLEA sent to 14 years in prison. He was arrested in a bunk and then I don't know what he did to the commander of the arresting team as you and I are speaking he is on awaiting trial it's been 9nyear So far and they said he is being charged with a crime for 14 years , he hasn't started serving oh. But 9 years so far on waiting trial.



Omoh!!!!!☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by cstans(m): 4:23pm On Feb 01, 2023
[keffi to be precise😅 quote author=Therock5555 post=120533889]


Oga why you dey cast my location grin

I dey try hide some facts here.... Be careful.[/quote]
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Silentgroper(m): 4:25pm On Feb 01, 2023
Mrtaye:

Exactly bami that's what is depicted in the story
I'm sure you stay at i.b ...


For my side, pesin go just come from somewhere dey call you BAMI..


Lol .. what does it even mean...
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Mrtaye: 4:48pm On Feb 01, 2023
Silentgroper:
I'm sure you stay at i.b ...


For my side, pesin go just come from somewhere dey call you BAMI..


Lol .. what does it even mean...
😄 Bami is just a street slang for"senior man",
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by DonXavi(m): 4:51pm On Feb 01, 2023
e
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Drsnives(m): 4:57pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...
Preachers son?? Cos I think have read some stories about this same monicker
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by chiboycue: 4:58pm On Feb 01, 2023
Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...


Thank God for your deliverance. Now that you have put your hands on the plough, I pray that you do not look back
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by Akpuobi1: 5:00pm On Feb 01, 2023

MORAL OF THE STORY

1. WHO NO GO NO GET STORY.

2. YOUR PAPA NA MAN

BUT 7DAYS IS JUST A CHILD'S PLAY NA

grin cool tongue cheesy wink
grin cool tongue cheesy wink
grin cool tongue cheesy wink
grin cool tongue cheesy wink
Re: My Experience In NDLEA Jail by MeaslesMumpsRub: 5:03pm On Feb 01, 2023
You really really need to light up one better loud.

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