[quote author=obeycian post=120810860][/quote] am going through the same issue right now, my ex from 10yrs ago contacted me last month, she has relocated To US since we broke up, she got married to the guy she dated before me, she got her papers through the Guy because he has been there for a while, now they are divorced with a 5yrs old kid. She is proposing to come to Nigeria to have a court wedding with me and take me along with her abroad.
The issue right now is that I am engaged and i am going to get married in 4months.
I am so confused right now

MimiSheWrote:
A Lion would never cheat on her wife, But a Tiger Wood

You see what I did there??

Well on a serious note sis, men will be men! especially Nigerian men smh. You have to personally consider cheating morally wrong before you can truly be faithful... But sadly "most" Nigerian men do not see anything wrong with cheating, they feel its their birth right, like they are licensed to cheat! Smfh.

But if they woman does the same? e go be them like the Turkey-Syria earthquake smfh!

This is exactly why Men are the prize.

The woman in the story knows better and decided not to divorced the man hence na she go lose if she try am. When a woman cheats, she should get ready to cater for herself by herself, provide her shelter, feed herself, pay her bills and do everything herself.

A man and a woman can never be the same. Of course men are the prize to be won. You girls need to go extra Miles to please us otherwise we'll look elsewhere. Men are the Golden prize to be won

Kobojunkie:

2. So, you conveniently ignore where she made clear that he has one year to make up his mind as to whether to stay married of get a divorce ?

If it were me, divorce is the only way. Staying married is not even a viable options at this point. Just count my losses and move on.

And trust shes gonna pay. I no dey forgive neither do i forget

I must do my own back, one way or another

Franzinni:
Madam unless you want to die alone with 12 cats better hold your man tight.... Ask around from women of nowadays, to get a man is harder than getting visa to the north pole ... Men are now the price.

Men are now a precious commodity, if you have one it means you dey do normal!!!!

Guys this is the best time to pick women with a fine tooth comb ...

Pick selfishly too.... For example pick the daughter of a billionaire, or someone with international citizenship, or someone who can benefit you in a way that even if you break up,... The return of your investment will last you a life time..... Don't pick for love... Love is a mental disorder, don't pick out of pity becasue if the roles were reversed you will be in friend zone .

Man power !!!!

Thank you jare for the advice. This life na one e no get part 2

[quote author=obeycian post=120810860][/quote]bros never marry out of pity ... Be very strategic about your decisions... Becasue it is a marathon not a sprint, make sure you think ahead 10 years - 20 years and be sure you will be compatible after the honey moon phase is over ... And trust me it will fade fast and what ever is left is the real person you married.

Think selfishly too ... Marriage is an institution, it's a job, so be very calculative on the benefits you will receive not love.... Love is like a drug it releases feel good chemicals in the body and at the same time inhibits your ability to think critically.

If I were you and this is just me talking from my blind perspective, I will get married to the American, that will broaden your horizon as to what kind of power you posses. Then try to naturalize in the us as fast as possible, get involved in community programs make alot of American friend especially whites. Try to be as independent as possible from the woman just incase she tries to be smart. ... And if the marriage fails, at least you are not back to square one. You will be well secure and stable and you can even find another woman at the snap of your finger ....

Men age like wine

Women age like milk.

gerrardomendes:
Who watch am? Abeg summarize

Summary:
She bugged her Nigerian husband's cell phone and heard him planning to go spend time with another woman in Nigeria. He was in Nigeria for two months. While he was gone she rented their house and moved into an apartment with their 3 kids. When he came back he couldn't get in and called her. She refused to tell him where she was staying. She gave him one year to repent and go straight or she'd sell their house and file for divorce

LoveJesus87:
Thank you jare for the advice. This life na one e no get part 2

one life o ... No extra life like super Mario.

TONYE001:
So satisfying.

Don't care if this even truly happened or not, but the whole story is very, very satisfying.

If you know you can't stick to your spouse, don't bother about getting married. Don't do to others what you can't tolerate if done to you. She is even considerate. She had the option of filing for divorce immediately and clearing everything for her and the kids.

He's an irresponsible individual, and should have no business being a husband or a father.

What is he going to teach his children (especially his sons)?

Serves the gentleman right.

If you know what goes on between husbands and wives, you would not be so sure of these things you are saying.

NEUDUDE:


If it were me, divorce is the only way. Staying married is not even a viable options at this point. Just count my losses and move on.

And trust shes gonna pay. I no dey forgive neither do i forget

I must do my own back, one way or another

You think it is Nigeria. He'd be paying exorbitant child support and possibly alimony and see the children rarely if at all!

OyeofIkoTuN:
Oga just act like you agree ooo....e dey pain but 2 can play that game..

Let her feel comfortable bringing the kids to your new location,wait it out 6 months,play the fool...e dey pain but no worry, 10 months keep playing the fool..Let her keep bringing your kids for weekends and vacations.. after the 11th month, you should have everything ready for the kids to be in Nigeria.....After you have japa to naija with the kids...Let me see how she wanna do the magic

You are wicked. You don't want him to change. You want him to continue the adulterous act just because she was soft on him.

Franzinni:
bros never marry out of pity ... Be very strategic about your decisions... Becasue it is a marathon not a sprint, make sure you think ahead 10 years - 20 years and be sure you will be compatible after the honey moon phase is over ... And trust me it will fade fast and what ever is left is the real person you married.

Think selfishly too ... Marriage is an institution, it's a job, so be very calculative on the benefits you will receive not love.... Love is like a drug it releases feel good chemicals in the body and at the same time inhibits your ability to think critically.

If I were you and this is just me talking from my blind perspective, I will get married to the American, that will broaden your horizon as to what kind of power you posses. Then try to naturalize in the us as fast as possible, get involved in community programs make alot of American friend especially whites. Try to be as independent as possible from the woman just incase she tries to be smart. ... And if the marriage fails, at least you are not back to square one. You will be well secure and stable and you can even find another woman at the snap of your finger ....

Men age like wine

Women age like milk.

my concern is the person I am with her in Nigeria. She is over 30 and I don’t know how she is going to take the news if I break up with her. I have been pondering about what to do for weeks.

Idaytesj29:


If you know what goes on between husbands and wives, you would not be so sure of these things you are saying.

There's nothing special that goes on between husbands and wives. Our homes are what we build them to be. No big issue. There's no mystery about marriage. Na we dey make am look complex.

If you want a happy home, love and respect each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

By the way, this is my 9th year in marriage, and I'm speaking from experience.

OyeofIkoTuN:
Oga just act like you agree ooo....e dey pain but 2 can play that game..

Let her feel comfortable bringing the kids to your new location,wait it out 6 months,play the fool...e dey pain but no worry, 10 months keep playing the fool..Let her keep bringing your kids for weekends and vacations.. after the 11th month, you should have everything ready for the kids to be in Nigeria.....After you have japa to naija with the kids...Let me see how she wanna do the magic

If the kids were born in US, he will be charged with kidnapping offence.

vickydevoka:

She can’t sell the house and take all the money. She’s naive. He didn’t work out of the marriage.

The story may not be true as a matter of fact.

I only mentioned the satisfaction I got from listening to her piece.

Smart woman

Bvlgari:
How i got back at my cheating Nigerian husband - US based lady


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrNIZV096Q4

https://www.instagram.com/p/CofhiAgrGle/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

How a U.S-based Liberian woman dealt with her cheating Nigerian husband
A Liberian woman has explained how she had the ultimate revenge on her cheating Nigerian Husband.

According to her, she revealed that she has been married to the Nigerian man for over 8 years, and he has been cheating on her over the years but she finally had enough when he decided to travel back to Nigeria to spend time with a lover.

She revealed she had set up their phones in a way she could monitor what the other partner was doing.

Instead of confronting her husband before his trip, she let him believe she was in the dark and he traveled while she mapped out her plan for revenge.

So when the man finally traveled to Nigeria, she decided to move out of their big house to a two bedroom apartment and put up their big house for rent ($1,275 per month).

She moves all their property to a storage and took just what she and her three kids needed.

Upon her husband’s return after two months, he found out he had no access to the house and called her.

She then broke the news to the shocked man. She also said she won’t divorce him but will be separated from him for one year. If he changes in a year, they could get back together, if he doesn’t, she’ll sell the house.

She's has a good heart and she loves him dearly. If not

OyeofIkoTuN:
Oga just act like you agree ooo....e dey pain but 2 can play that game..

Let her feel comfortable bringing the kids to your new location,wait it out 6 months,play the fool...e dey pain but no worry, 10 months keep playing the fool..Let her keep bringing your kids for weekends and vacations.. after the 11th month, you should have everything ready for the kids to be in Nigeria.....After you have japa to naija with the kids...Let me see how she wanna do the magic

If she no need permission to rent out the house, the man no need permission to sell it.

Nostring:
sharap.. no b everybody broke or japa.. alot of ppl relocated cos dey can afford to

"Some" is different from "everybody"

OyeofIkoTuN:
Oga just act like you agree ooo....e dey pain but 2 can play that game..

Let her feel comfortable bringing the kids to your new location,wait it out 6 months,play the fool...e dey pain but no worry, 10 months keep playing the fool..Let her keep bringing your kids for weekends and vacations.. after the 11th month, you should have everything ready for the kids to be in Nigeria.....After you have japa to naija with the kids...Let me see how she wanna do the magic

I had to sign in to reply you, you want your role model to ruin his kids life by bringing them to this shithole because of a side chick? You have a mental issue

TONYE001:
So satisfying.

Don't care if this even truly happened or not, but the whole story is very, very satisfying.

If you know you can't stick to your spouse, don't bother about getting married. Don't do to others what you can't tolerate if done to you. She is even considerate. She had the option of filing for divorce immediately and clearing everything for her and the kids.

He's an irresponsible individual, and should have no business being a husband or a father.

What is he going to teach his children (especially his sons)?

Serves the gentleman right.

Close mouth simp

Triangles1:
Must you use NIGERIA in your topic, if one man cheated on you does not mean we are all the same.

I still have 4,500 naira of old Note with me and all the people selling in my area refused to accept it.

can you give it to me since it's useless at ur place

tctrills:

Oga stop saying what you don't know. The US would not revoke your citizenship for cheating on your partner.

I pray no one will face that issue...
She can claim it was a fraud marraige...

Na big deal for the guy

b0rn2fuck:
Most men cheats but the way they handle it in other country, it's will be as if you committed a crime

It is a crime . If you are legally married .

I love this woman! Nigerian women, y'll need to wake up.

Adeolokonla:
can you give it to me since it's useless at ur place

Where's your location.

TONYE001:
So satisfying.

Don't care if this even truly happened or not, but the whole story is very, very satisfying.

If you know you can't stick to your spouse, don't bother about getting married. Don't do to others what you can't tolerate if done to you. She is even considerate. She had the option of filing for divorce immediately and clearing everything for her and the kids.

He's an irresponsible individual, and should have no business being a husband or a father.

What is he going to teach his children (especially his sons)?

Serves the gentleman right.

Taa! Mechie gị ọnụ there! I say mechie ọnụ nsị there! Goan marry fes and f**k wan toto all ur life make we know.
yen yen yen yen yen...small boys wey get multiple gehfrens dey teach married men how to marry wan wife. Azị gbakwa unu dia! Ụmụ aparị!

TONYE001:
So satisfying.

Don't care if this even truly happened or not, but the whole story is very, very satisfying.

If you know you can't stick to your spouse, don't bother about getting married. Don't do to others what you can't tolerate if done to you. She is even considerate. She had the option of filing for divorce immediately and clearing everything for her and the kids.

He's an irresponsible individual, and should have no business being a husband or a father.

What is he going to teach his children (especially his sons)?

Serves the gentleman right.

Oh wow! I am genuinely shocked. You are a popular Nairalander and I used to think nairaland married men are the usual SELFISH, SELF CENTERED NIGERIAN HUSBANDS who only think with thier PRICK and NOTHING ELSE when it comes to thier MARRIAGES....

My bad!

Triangles1:


Where's your location.

I dey Gbagada,Lagos like this

Oh 4K!!! She did nothing...that man is a Nigerian and will act innocent for that one year and come back hard.
Well I wish her and her kids good luck

The TYPICAL NIGERIAN HUSBAND believes that the woman they are married to is meant to bear them children and afterwards they keep her at home while they go fvucking young ladies outside while abandoning thier wives EMOTIONALLY, SEXUALLY and otherwise.

Yet, they act as if they are the ones who DO NOT NEED MARRIAGE. This ediots get married and yet eat thier cakes outside. Some even become more promiscuous AFTER they get married.

It is almost impossible to come across a DECENT FAITHFUL NIGERIAN MARRIED MAN THAT IS RICH. The poor ones are only humble cos they don't have money. Once they get small upgrade, they show thier real selves..

The question is why do they get married if they don't ever plan to be faithful? Yet, they EXPECT a happy wife who will give thier self centered and cheating privks love and peace of mind. Chai! God bless this woman where ever she is.....

girlygirlyMain:

Do you have enough data?
Did you watch the video?
She said he came to Nigeria for 2 months...

A tenner to say you don't know what it takes to remortgage. Things don't work here the way it does in naija. No bank would accept a remortgage without the owner or co-signatory. Clearly the house isn't hers cos she wouldn't rent her house out to spite him, she'd simply kick him out.
The law also doesn't permit let of a personal house unless it's been remortgaged, not like when she didn't do it on the low, else the tax man would be on her neck already.
Believe all you see online to your heart content, reality is different from clout chasing, thats why online inlaws like you are usually the ones who drive traffic. Seun must be proud if you.
Cheerio.

obeycian:
my concern is the person I am with her in Nigeria. She is over 30 and I don’t know how she is going to take the news if I break up with her. I have been pondering about what to do for weeks.

well the person in Nigeria is over 30 men that is a stretch but ask yourself this question, is she a virgin? What is her body count? How did she live her life in her 20s ? Is she the ride or die or the type that flakes on you when things are uncomfortable for her? Is she submissive? Does she have feminine energy? Did she grow in a broken home? How receptive are her siblings and family ? Are they well Todo? Remember at 35 most of her eggs will be gone... These are the type questions you need to ask yourself logically and without emotions... And on the topic of break up, Its a tough one becasue she might be the right person for you and I am just advising you based on the character of women I know (biased perspective)

But if I was the one I would find a way to end the relationship in a way that she would feel she dodged a bullet... In a way she would feel I was a wrong choice for her and let her be the one to tell me she is not interested anymore. There are many creative ways to do that and not make her feel hurt.

I will give this disclaimer tho, I don't know your relationship and how much investment you both have had, what challenges you faced and overcame together or how deep of a commitment you have so take my words with a grain of salt I am only talking based on the parameters within my knowledge which is as general and generic as possible. ... It will hurt me to be the demon who destroyed a good thing and who knows you just might have a good thing.

But ask those important questions and the answers will give you a direction to follow bro.