The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) - Literature (15) - Nairaland
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| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by Obisteve42: 10:09am On Feb 11, 2023 |
Interesting story you've got going here. I keep looking forward to it |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by Damilgodwin(m): 9:53pm On Feb 11, 2023 |
I need a wife |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by GeneralJB(m): 7:20am On Feb 14, 2023 |
So loooking forward to the next update. Welldone bro |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by Krisdan(m): 9:20pm On Feb 14, 2023 |
I dey queue dey wait 4 update too |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 7:50pm On Feb 15, 2023 |
metalgear11:why is your male character a cheat who doesn't seem to even know he's cheating on his gf? and why is he such a wimp with his ex wife? you need to edit this story, in order to make it more believable- no man in his right mind will take all this crap after his divorce; especially not from an abusive woman. good pace, diction and storyline, but the plot needs a lot of work- too many leaps and unwarranted conclusions, by people who don't have enough info to go on. kudos. |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by jullyrosy(f): 11:43am On Feb 16, 2023 |
[quote author=DZTech post=120939383] why is your male character a cheat who doesn't seem to even know he's cheating on his gf? and why is he such a wimp with his ex wife? you need to edit this story, in order to make it more believable- no man in his right mind will take all this crap after his divorce; especially not from an abusive woman. How's d athena abusive  No man shows d kind of man you are....There are so many men out there who are ready to take back their ex wife esp wen they weren't d ones dat engineered d divorce.. And this story is believable...if it isn't, let's read urs..... |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 2:18pm On Feb 16, 2023 |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 2:18pm On Feb 16, 2023 |
op, search for editors on Facebook and send them your last 2 chapters for their reviews. maybe you'll get an idea of what I mean. |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by metalgear11(m): 5:22pm On Feb 16, 2023 |
DZTech: First of all, I appreciate your criticism. Now let me address your concerns. why is your male character a cheat who doesn't seem to even know he's cheating on his gf? And why is he such a wimp with his ex wife? Before i decide to write any story, I take the time to build each character and the arc said character would take. MC is in a situation where he and his wife still love each other, but has feelings for another woman at the same time. the divorce and circumstances after then made them realize they still needed each other. no man in his right mind will take all this crap after his divorce; especially not from an abusive woman. I don't know where in the story you got this observation from. What's your definition of Abusive woman? If you can point it out, please show me. you need to edit this story, in order to make it more believable- Please refer to the first response i gave. Love triangles do exist. I can give you several examples off the top of my head where divorced couples still see each other even when either one of them is in another relationship. too many leaps and unwarranted conclusions, by people who don't have enough info to go on. I have no freaking clue what you mean. I know there are a few minor characters in the story (Deputy director and his married girlfriend, for example), but i put them there as "minor characters" and I dont need to expand on them further. 5 Likes |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by Simplysussy(f): 8:22pm On Feb 16, 2023 |
Hi, metal gear, I love your story, and I want to ask if I can post them on my LinkedIn account. The credit will go to you. I love stories so much, I understand what plagiarism is. I'm asking for permission, if you are willing, can I? I await your reply thanks. I'll give you my account so you can do close monitoring of your story. Still, I await your reply if you are willing to let me share your story. Thanks |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by metalgear11(m): 11:27pm On Feb 16, 2023 |
The gentle ping of the alarm woke Richard up. His eyes slowly opened and adjusted to the low light, finally coming to focus on the ceiling above. As his brain began to boot, the events of the day before slowly began to return. He remembered in it culminating with him and Athena almost tearing each other apart, as well as their reminiscing long into the night afterwards. He also remembered her asking him to sleep in her room, and right now he lay in the bed they hadn't occupied together since way before the divorce with his arm wrapped around her bare shoulder. Athena had her head resting gently on his chest, her arm flung across his abdomen as she still slept off the events of the night before. She slowly opened her eyes and gazed sleepily at him. “Did you sleep well?” she asked as she rolled off him and sat up. Richard thought of readjusting her camisole to cover more of her boobs spilling out, but she beat him to it. “Yes I did. How about you?” “I slept as well as I could…” About thirty minutes later, he watched her out of the corner of his eyes as they dressed up for work. It felt quite strange doing what they used to do when they were married – she walked over to him wearing only her bra and matching panties and did his tie – and she turned for him to help her pull the zip up her dress and hook her chain. He donned his jacket and they both walked out of the condo and to the elevators. “Have a great day Richard,” Athena said over her shoulder as she walked to her car. “You too.” He watched for a moment as she drove away before heading to the train station. ----------------------------------------------- “It looks pretty good, but reduce the conjunctions to make the conveyed message more direct,” Athena stated. “Ok…thanks,” the blonde haired girl said and took the sheets of paper out of her outstretched hand. Athena turned back to her workstation. “Oh, have you heard?” the girl piqued. “Heard what?” “The higher-ups want to expand on the sexual harassment case of the clinic.” Athena’s heart started to beat rapidly. “Wha-what’s the point of blowing it up?” The girl smiled. She lowered herself to whisper closely. “I heard it is related to a serious underground drug ring…and you know the boss has a major play in bringing down such things.” “S-so what then does he want to do?” “Give the victims faces. It will make it more relatable to viewers and the public.” “I t-thought we had agreed to keep the story private for the individuals involved?” “Yes, but that’s the boss’s take. I think it’s a great idea.” Several minutes later Athena staggered out the back door and headed to the side of the building. She lit a cigarette with trembling fingers and filled her lungs. Her thoughts were all over the place. It had finally come to this. She could see the end of the road as her career as a top journalist. Or would it just be better to resign? Or maybe, end- “Ms. Chambers, there you are!! I’ve been looking all over the place for you!” Athena looked up to see Weatherman heading her way. “What is it, Mr. Weatherman?” “What are you doing here? The broadcasting team is looking for you!” “Why?” “Have you forgotten you agreed to do that show?” “Wait, that’s today?!” “Yes it is. We need to head over asap.” “I’m so sorry…my head has been in quite a mess lately and it totally slipped my mind.” “That’s okay. We can still make it. We have enough time.” Athena dropped her cigarette and stamped it out. Time for work. She put her game face on. “Okay boss, let’s go.” 4 Likes |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by Krisdan(m): 11:30pm On Feb 16, 2023 |
Na me first see this update ooo |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by metalgear11(m): 11:32pm On Feb 16, 2023 |
“You still can’t reach the nurse?!” Chief was almost at his wits’ end. “I’ve been trying to call her but her phone’s off.” “What stunt is she trying to play here?!!! The meeting holds in three hours! If she doesn’t show up, you’re both screwed. I’m screwed!!” He pointed at him angrily. “Go and look for her, even if it means dragging her by the hair to this review.” “Y-yes sir.” He tried dialing her number again, and still got the “You’ve reached Avery. Please leave a detailed voice message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Byeee!!!” message followed by the sweet, infectious laugh. Avery, where the hell are you? “Hello listeners, welcome to today’s show…” If she doesn’t turn up, we are both screwed… “My name is Athena and I’ll be sitting in today for the regular host…” [You’ve reached Avery. Please leave a detailed voice message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Byeee!!!] “On the show today, we have…” Where the hell are you Avery?!! ----------- “That will be 7.65.” Richard handed his card over and the cashier rang it up. “Do you need your receipt?” He shook his head. “No.” “Have a great day.” Richard picked up the pack of cigarettes and lighter from the counter. He headed out the convenience store and pulled one to his lips. He hadn’t smoked since he was in medical school. The stress was getting too much. It had been more than an hour since he had been trying to call Avery. He began to dread her words – to trust her, everything will come to pass. He hoped she hadn’t done anything rash. He walked back to the hospital and to his office. he would give it another thirty minutes and try her again. Maybe her phone died while she was on the train…or she lost her phone on the way here…several scenarios kept playing in his mind. He walked out of the elevator and headed down the hallway to his office. “Dr. Richard!!” he heard the booming voice of his Chief at the end of the hallway. He turned to see him striding towards him. “Chief, I-” “Where the hell did you go?” “I’ve been trying to get a hold of the nurse-” A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. “You sly, sly dog. Why didn’t you tell me?” “Tell you about what sir?” Richard asked. For the first time he noticed a small smile on his chief’s face. “About your divorce!!! Why didn’t you tell me? We could have avoided all this nonsense.” “M-my divorce?” “If you are legally divorced, that means you aren’t married right?” “Yes…sir?” “So what is the point of having you both face the ethics panel? Although it’s quite unorthodox, there’s nothing that states a doctor cannot date one of his nurses, so long as it doesn’t affect their duties at work. You should have told me about it son.” “B…but how did you know I was divorced?” “You don’t know?” Chief smiled. ------------------------- **thirty minutes earlier** “Wow!! That’s a very inspiring story! The institution of marriage should remain holy for both husband and wife.” “It’s true, but every now and then married couples do have their differences that need to be addressed. Sometimes they become enemies, and if things aren’t done to fix that, things can get damaged beyond repair.” “What about you, Ms. Athena?” “What about me?” “You’re new in marriage to a very handsome surgeon. Things should definitely be good for you in your marriage.” Athena paused for a very long time. “I…I’m divorced.” “WHAT!!!!!” “Oh my God, I’m so sorry Ms. Athena. I’m so rude…I never realized-” “No, it’s okay. You did not do anything wrong. This is actually the first time I’ll be going public with my divorce. My husband and I divorced almost a year ago…I didn’t mean to surprise any of you…but I feel it will be wrong if I lie about having a rosy marriage and deceive all the listeners. Marriage is not necessarily a bed of roses. You don’t know what couples endure behind all the smiles…” -------------------------------------- “Since everyone knows you’re divorced, there’s no need to meet up with the panel. The meeting’s been cancelled.” “I…I need to make a phone call sir.” “Sure.” ---------------------------------- She picked up after the second ring. “Hello?” “Athena, what the hell is going on?!!” “What do you mean?” “Why did you disclose our divorce on air?” “Aren’t we divorced? What’s the point keeping it a secret since it’s been destroying us these past months?” she snapped. Silence. “Does your dad know?” “I called him after the show ended.” “Is he…okay?” “There’s really nothing he can do about it…besides he said he had already known we were divorced…” “What?!!!” “…and he was just waiting for us to tell him ourselves.” “How did he…” “Look I gotta go now Richard. We will talk about it when we get home.” “Alrite. Er, are you sure you’re okay Athena?” Another long pause of silence. “Hello?” “...If only you had been this supportive of me before we decided to divorce…” She ended the call and tossed the phone on her desk. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by jullyrosy(f): 9:00am On Feb 17, 2023 |
metalgear11: You don't need to reply to dat THING...pls update for reasonable people like us dat flow so well with ur story 1 Like |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by jullyrosy(f): 9:02am On Feb 17, 2023 |
DZTech: I don't think u really grew up with love around u...Na ur type dey beat woman |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by AmaPaulOma(m): 1:06pm On Feb 17, 2023 |
I am loving this drama and also following my instincts here cos I strongly believe that Richard and Athena will remarry. OP, abeg no change story cos of my prediction. 😂 Nice one Man 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by Obisteve42: 4:00pm On Feb 17, 2023 |
DZTech: I quite agree with you on the position of Richard being wimpy. How could a sane man and a professional, good looking man for that withstood all the thrash that Athena hurled at him and is still blaming him for the issues in their marriage. I as a guy can't stand it and would have gotten my own place early enough when they had the divorce. But the writer understands the character of Richard better and decided on making him appear a wimp who is only good at his job and sex. My one cent and this is not to derail the thread. |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 11:02pm On Feb 17, 2023 |
jullyrosy:lol since you don't know that calling a man a woman beater is an insult, then you're clearly not intelligent enough for an- intelligent conversation.  and I wonder how gist went from not taking verbal abuse from a woman- or anyone, really- to beating her... truly- what kind of mind do you have?!  meanwhile, I expect your mum talks to your dad in the same way Athena does her ex. and he stammers, stutters and apologies to her, just like the good, wimpy doctor does. and all I can say is - that's a-ok!  what fun. |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 11:11pm On Feb 17, 2023 |
jullyrosy:heh you just gotta laugh. make una come see d GOAT of literature section... roflmao!  we really need more emojis on nairaland. |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 11:15pm On Feb 17, 2023 |
metalgear11:as I said- find editors to proofread your novel. or don't. but there's only ONE way to get better as a writer. 'nuff said. |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by metalgear11(m): 11:50pm On Feb 17, 2023 |
DZTech: Getting an editor may have been a condition if I had wanted to write for financial purposes or publish a novel or something, but I do this for relaxation and pleasure in my spare time with no financial incentives involved. Everyone has his/her own style of writing. I've been writing stories like this one for more than ten years, and so far it has worked for me. It may not work for everybody and I'm not trying to be a James Hadley Chase or a Jefferey Archer. 9 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by jullyrosy(f): 8:50am On Feb 19, 2023 |
DZTech: |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by jullyrosy(f): 8:52am On Feb 19, 2023 |
DZTech: All these kids dat grew up under stupid parents.....I'm sure ur mom behaves like Avery... |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by Sochee123: 10:21am On Feb 19, 2023 |
WOW. I think everyone should chill out abeg na. Let's not deviate from the story and start attacking each other. Can we just enjoy this piece as a fiction that it is? Thank you all in advance 2 Likes |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by emmanex2000: 2:56pm On Feb 19, 2023 |
Good afternoon sir/ma, In need of a content writer or copy writer with years of experience? If yes, search no further!!!! I can write on various niches and subjects such as blog writing, automobile articles, seo-writing including surfer, tech, b2b tech, YouTube scripts, financial articles, cryptoarticles, academic writings, product reviews, rewriting and so on. These also includes ebooks ranging from fiction, non-fiction, and course contents. I deliver non-plagiarised and 100% grammar articles within the stipulated time. I also check my works with professional plagiarism tools. It will be my pleasure working with you to making your projects a huge success. Contact me via 07012809662 Email@emmanueloladiti31@gmail.com. Always at your service. Thank you. 1 Like |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 9:15pm On Feb 19, 2023 |
jullyrosy:again, with the insult. is this how your parents raised you? hmmm... well, they do say it's the first (and usually last) resort of low intellect. which CAN be genetic. hence you. am I right, or am I right? now, for those poor, future offspring...  1 Like |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by bougeemarvel(m): 10:32pm On Feb 19, 2023 |
DZTech: Yo man! You gotta chill out fr... It's just a hobby plus it's fictional, why persisting? If you're no fan of his work then you find something else and stop putting out a fire 2 Likes |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by GeneralJB(m): 7:39am On Feb 20, 2023 |
@DZTech, I'm sure your points are noted. Please tag us when you start your own perfect stories for us to follow as we daily follow this. @Metalgear11, we are awaiting the next update please.. It is your story, please write as you deem fit. It is normal to have critics... Every good book / story have one. 1 Like |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by DZTech: 12:32pm On Feb 20, 2023 |
GeneralJB:lol @ 'Please tag us'. is that really a mature response? I'm just worried that I have to do this in the first place, but let's do it! let's imagine for a moment, all those whom you've criticized this year- maybe those in govt, sportsmen, celebrities, politicians, etc. you know who they are. let's imagine also, their supporters/fans telling you the same thing- 'Please tag us when you start your own perfect..." whatever. do we then conclude that your criticisms are baseless, simply because you don't- or can't- do what those you criticize do? I really hope you shed such puerile thinking in future. God bless. 1 Like |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by anotherpac(m): 2:20pm On Feb 20, 2023 |
@DZTech,while your critic on this story is your opinion,there are other readers who appreciate the writer immensely for putting this story together.I will implore you to move on.I have been a reader on this forum close to 2 decades…and I have read quite a few stories,in my opinion this is one of the best stories I have read in a while. Good job @metalgear11 1 Like |
| Re: The Divorced Housemates (Erotic, 18+) by metalgear11(m): 11:12pm On Feb 20, 2023 |
GeneralJB: Sochee123: Obisteve42: anotherpac: I appreciate you guys for standing up to defend this piece. I know critics will always abound aplenty, but just as you all said, if you don't like it, don't read. No one is forcing anyone. 1 Like |
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