I am married to a Igbo man. We are based in Italy. We have 4 children 3 together. I have 3 girls for him. I tested positive for baby number 5 and we were discussing about the gender, my husband said something that makes me feel so bad.

He wants a son so bad. He said in Igbo tribe, a man is nothing without a son. I asked him what if we had another baby girl he said he will have no choice but to go to Nigeria and marry another woman who will bear sons for him so he can be a real man.

I asked him if he was serious then he changed his words saying he was joking, he doesn't mind the sex of our baby as long as the baby is healthy that is what matter.

I have been restless since he has mentioned about marrying a second wife even though he said it was a joke but I know that he wasn't joking, he was serious.

I want to know from igbo people, is it true that a man is nothing without a son and also what if the wife only bore female children is it compulsory for the man to marry a second one in Igbo tribe to bear him sons?

It has to do with inheritance rights in igboland. Only a male is considered when it comes to inheritance, it is also important for the family name to continue in Igbo culture and only a man can do this.

By right it is not compulsory to have a male child and only your husband can decide if he needs one badly and cannot forgo.

I know so many Igbo couple living happily without a male child and are now old.

I am Igbo too and place no importance on male child, all children are important and non is more important than the other.

SUPERPACK:
It has to do with inheritance rights in igboland. Only a male is considered when it comes to inheritance, it is also important for the family name to continue in Igbo culture and only a man can do this.

By right it is not compulsory to have a male child and only your husband can decide if he needs one badly and cannot forgo.

I know so many Igbo couple living happily without a male child and are now old.

I am Igbo too and place no importance on male child, all children are important and non is more important than the other.

Thanks so much for the explanation now i understand that having a second wife or son is not compulsory and if he decide to get a second one to bear him sons it will be for his own selfish reason and nothing to do with his tribe

Vincenzomum:



Thanks so much for the explanation now i understand that having a second wife or son is not compulsory and if he decide to get a second one to bear him sons it will be for his own selfish reason and nothing to do with his tribe

It has more to do with his Ego and cultural intimidation. Here in igboland it is easy for someone to make a jest of you for not having a son, when you quarel with someone they remember you that you have no son and not man enough. This intimidation is gradually fading away but still present in age grade gatherings.

Vincenzomum:
I am married to a igbo man we are based in Italy. We have 4 children 3 together I have 3 girls for him i tested positive for baby number 5 and we were discussing about the gender my husband said something that makes me feel so bad. He want a son so bad he said in igbo tribe a man is nothing man without a son. i asked him what if we had another baby girl he said he will have no choice but to go to nigeria and marry another woman who will bear sons for him so he can be a real man. i asked him if he was serious then he change his words saying he was joking he doesn't mind the sex of our baby as long as the baby is healthy that is what matter. I have been restless since he has mentioned about marrying a second wife even though he said it was a joke but i knoow that he wasn't joking he was serious. I want to know from igbo people is it true that a man is nothing without a son and also what if the wife only bore female children is it compulsory for the man to marry a second one in igbo tribe to bear him sons?

Male child is to continue his name incase he dies at any time

But is he aware that he is the determinant factor for a male child because he has the Y chromosomes

Ok

Very Important

Tell me the tribe that male child is not important ?
I pray God give you a male child to avoid family crises

Well for igbo people it is too important or else a wicked uncle might wanna inherit their properties and wealth when they passes away, no one wants to suffer and see another eat it all, Because the female may not have the fierce to challenge those wicked uncles and wicked relatives

Hmmm.

Even if the man is woke, if his extended family isn't woke, I pray you have where to get male child guaranteed.

Cause in many cases I've seen, a wife who doesn't have a male child for her igbo husband is sitting on a one legged chair in that marriage.

It's even worse if the wife isn't a fellow Igbo woman. Igbo women can't inherit their father's property culturally and even when it comes to their husband's property, they are thrown out if they don't have a son.

A male child is very important...


In every tribe not just in Africa


But one of my uncle had four girls only and nothing dey happen. They are all grown up now


Another had four boys too only

Very important. Even if the male child is a slowpoke

..any man who at this time and age still reasons in that manner is nothing but an Ape

He has told you his mind. Even if he is truly joking and is a forward thinker, his backwards people back home will make him think otherwise. They will chase you away while they will reap where they did not sow. They're the only tribe in Nigeria that has a special name for the first born daughter but that's where it ends. She no get relevance again until she is getting married so others will come again to reap where they did not sow. Thank your stars you're abroad otherwise, you can start sewing black cloth and practice drinking corpse water


Make una quote me. I am ready.

frozen70:


But is he aware that he is the determinant factor for a male child because he has the X chromosomes

Females have two X chromosomes, while males have one X and one Y chromosome.

A male child is the scion of perpetuity in the family lineage. In all thy getting, get a male child

Important enough to allow them live anyhow without regard for any elders including the parents and become nuisance to the society

Wahala which one no be pikin....

It's in every tribe a male child is so important

Without a male child, no one to carry the man name

Igbos are rich in culture.
You should have a son, a better version of yourself. Your quota to the clan. A man to take charge of all that you have worked for. Your voice when you're old. That is how it is.
To adopt a male child as an heir is a taboo.
But then, things are evolving. Women have exceeded a man's average as regards greatness. Some daughters have really done their father proud.

It all depends on the mindset of the man whether he is Conservative or Modern. For the core Conservative traditionalists its compulsory but for those with Modern outlook to life they don't play with their daughters and are ok with their Female children and most times the daughters reciprocate the love.

For some others they go ahead and adopt a male child while some will want only a biological son.

Marrying a second wife because of not having a male child is now rare as there are many options available such as surrogacy and IVF sex selection meaning that those who can afford a second wife will rather go for the options.

Very very important

Biafrans are low life wailers.

Very true. A male child is very important in the southern Nigeria, but the Igbos take it to a new level. its all bout keeping the mans lineage, as if girls cant carry their father's name like Okonjo Iweala is doing.

Hope your test results come back with a male child sha for your marital happiness, other wise his village people in Nigeria will ship another village girl to your matrimonial bed to give their beloveth son that male child you are denying him.

Vincenzomum:
I am married to a Igbo man. We are based in Italy. We have 4 children 3 together. I have 3 girls for him. I tested positive for baby number 5 and we were discussing about the gender, my husband said something that makes me feel so bad.
He wants a son so bad. He said in Igbo tribe, a man is nothing without a son. I asked him what if we had another baby girl he said he will have no choice but to go to Nigeria and marry another woman who will bear sons for him so he can be a real man.
I asked him if he was serious then he changed his words saying he was joking, he doesn't mind the sex of our baby as long as the baby is healthy that is what matter.
I have been restless since he has mentioned about marrying a second wife even though he said it was a joke but I know that he wasn't joking, he was serious.
I want to know from igbo people, is it true that a man is nothing without a son and also what if the wife only bore female children is it compulsory for the man to marry a second one in Igbo tribe to bear him sons?

He should be grateful that he has kids. What of those that married, tried IVF etc and no child to show for it?
It is more of an individual thing nowadays.

I am igbo and I even place value more on female children. They are very lovely but in all, male or female just love your kids. Dead man no know wetn be family name. The present igbo generation place no emphasis on male child. Male or female I thank God and will love him or her