₦airaland Forum

Nackzy:
Madam am not married, but your husband is going through what we call chronic gambling addiction, have been in that shoe, am still struggling to come out of it completely, one needs discipline, commitment, financial prudency, planning, openess n maybe lastly prayers, gambling is indeed a sin

You don't need prayers

Understand this: If a gun was placed to your child's head by a kidnapper, and they asked you to not gamble for 1 month or they'll pull the trigger. Would you gamble?

Every time you gamble, you kill your chances of developing capital to solve your business or your family's needs.

If you want to talk more, my email is open.

Dearlove2me:
Alright. I'm thinking maybe going to spend some time in my family house but I'm thinking of going with all my things

Leaving the house now is not the best, he may sell your valuables for his debt

Dearlove2me:
Alright. I'm thinking maybe going to spend some time in my family house but I'm thinking of going with all my things

Better before you go insane.

Let me tell you the truth "nobody including your husband love to be in debt, he is facing challenge that is beyond his control, another thing is that the cost of maintaining the family has gone above the income of many Nigerians and a responsible man will still like to provide at all cost, untill it's out of his control.

Solutions
1. It will be great if you can secure a job fast and start supporting him financially to maintain your family

2. He needs your emotional support right now, deny him your body will only add to his stress, try to be part of solution and not another problem.

3. Spiritual solution, tel him to pay tithe of any borrowed money and devil will let go of his finance and he will stop borrowing in Jesus Name it's logical in the spiritual realm).

4. Marriage is for better for worse,, your attitude in these days of worse matter to him and it will determine how much he will appreciate you in the days of good.

If you can endure and stay by him, your GREAT DAYS will soon be here.

He needs your support and not anger or insults now than ever.

He will only open up to you, if he can see your sincere readiness to support him and not to insult him.

Devil is only after your happy marriage, by the time you park out, your eyes will open to the truth and a woman may come to his aid.

GRASS IS NOT GREEN ANYWHERE, SOMEONE WATER IT TO BE GREEN
GOD WILL HELP YOUR MARRIAGE

Dearlove2me:
My husband is very quite. He was always complaining, he had no money, office was not treating them well, salary is too small, but I didn't know the extent of his broke life.

how did he get money for marruage then

Two options

DIVORCE HIM OR DIE THERE

People don't really change.
They can only hide or suppress their character for a while

Dearlove2me:
The truth is right now, I feel like going somewhere for a while. I feel like I need rest. Somewhere I can forget about all my problems and breathe a fresh air.
My husband has not been honest with me since the beginning of this marriage and I doubt if this is an attitude of a man that loves

He has always been in debt even before I married him. and he wouldn't let me know what he do with the money he keeps borrowing from people. Even my friends I introduced to him, he is owning them and can't pay back.

The bad side is, he borrows and stop picking their calls not respond nicely to them.
He behalves badly to them.
I'm suspecting he's into some kind of addiction that demands money. Maybe gambling but he wouldn't tell me.
He's constantly on his phone.

He is owning loan app everywhere. To the extent that the app had to send hurrible messages to his contact's lists including his bosses, office colleagues and my relatives.
It's so embarrassing and tiring.
He has apologized several times that I should give him time to work on himself to stop an addiction, but he refused to explain what it is. Claiming that I might leave him if I know.
But he has not changed abit.
We are always hungry in this house. No baby food for my 6months old baby, no pampers and everything is total struggle. I quit my job last year but I'll soon start job search once my baby grow a little.
In this house, If I don't look for food, then, we starve, I don't look for means of getting pampers, food, wears,then my baby will suffer, because his daddy is not capable of providing anything for us. It's so annoying.

I have dreams before I married him, but right now, I feel lost. There's no romance, no love, no affection in this marriage anymore, as I wouldn't even let him touch me because of the stress, suffer he constantly brings on us.

Money I raised to start up a business, (340k) I ended up using it to pay for his debt last two months because the people were always coming to embarrass us in the house and neighbors were coming to pleade on our behalf. I had to clear up the loan, yet he couldn't explain what he did with the money.
With that start up capital, I would have been growing by now, but here I am. Still at the zero point.

I'm really tired
I'm so confused here.
What should I do?
What would you advise?

Flame77:
That is it. You just hit the nail head. I dabbled into football betting in 2020 and got roasted. Lost personal and other people's money to the tune of over 7m in naira. It affected my business because I used clients' money. I almost got arrested by some of those clients. I'm yet to recover - still heavily indebted.
But the good thing about my own is that I've stopped the evil trade since April 2022 and will never go back in Jesus name. Another good thing is that my wife was in the know from the onset. Even though I managed to convince her it was not gambling but sport trading because that was what those who introduced me to it also told me. I never hid anything from my wife.
I remember at the beginning it was fun because I was winning. One night I started betting in-plays with 300k and I grew it to 1.754m in naira. I was excited, I told my wife about it and she advised I withdrew 1m into my bank account and continue trading with the rest. I told her I would do just that but the greed in me wanted me to raise the money to 2m so I could just withdraw 1.5m into my account. I decided to bet with the whole 1.7m and alas, it was red. It was as if I was dreaming. I ran to the bathroom and started urinating like a diabetic patient lol. In an attempt to recover my loss I started putting in more money that was meant for other things . . . . That was the Genesis of whole mess. Gambling is terrible.

This is actually the story of gambling.a big win that you now start chasing for the rest of your life. The house always wins

Dearlove2me:
The truth is right now, I feel like going somewhere for a while. I feel like I need rest. Somewhere I can forget about all my problems and breathe a fresh air.
My husband has not been honest with me since the beginning of this marriage and I doubt if this is an attitude of a man that loves

He has always been in debt even before I married him. and he wouldn't let me know what he do with the money he keeps borrowing from people. Even my friends I introduced to him, he is owning them and can't pay back.

The bad side is, he borrows and stop picking their calls not respond nicely to them.
He behalves badly to them.
I'm suspecting he's into some kind of addiction that demands money. Maybe gambling but he wouldn't tell me.
He's constantly on his phone.

He is owning loan app everywhere. To the extent that the app had to send hurrible messages to his contact's lists including his bosses, office colleagues and my relatives.
It's so embarrassing and tiring.
He has apologized several times that I should give him time to work on himself to stop an addiction, but he refused to explain what it is. Claiming that I might leave him if I know.
But he has not changed abit.
We are always hungry in this house. No baby food for my 6months old baby, no pampers and everything is total struggle. I quit my job last year but I'll soon start job search once my baby grow a little.
In this house, If I don't look for food, then, we starve, I don't look for means of getting pampers, food, wears,then my baby will suffer, because his daddy is not capable of providing anything for us. It's so annoying.

I have dreams before I married him, but right now, I feel lost. There's no romance, no love, no affection in this marriage anymore, as I wouldn't even let him touch me because of the stress, suffer he constantly brings on us.

Money I raised to start up a business, (340k) I ended up using it to pay for his debt last two months because the people were always coming to embarrass us in the house and neighbors were coming to pleade on our behalf. I had to clear up the loan, yet he couldn't explain what he did with the money.
With that start up capital, I would have been growing by now, but here I am. Still at the zero point.

I'm really tired
I'm so confused here.
What should I do?
What would you advise?

Where you deceived into this?

I have no reason to hide truth from someone I choose as life partner.

And she too must not do that, otherwise it wont work.

Try to know your husband, and if you do, and he makes it impossible to reveal his real self, you wont be blamed for your next action.

I hate deception...

Do everything you can, know get him talk to you..Before everything reach a point of no hope.

Geovanni412:
Sister, check that acct

It was created on the same day this post was made

This might be a fictitious story

Only one post has been made by this naira lander, Dearlove2me.

For all we know, it could be a guy that owns the acct.

Are you for real? That I share my story and you mock me? May you never go through all the stress I'm going through here.
What's wrong if I join the forum and seek for advice?

Dearlove2me:
The truth is right now, I feel like going somewhere for a while. I feel like I need rest. Somewhere I can forget about all my problems and breathe a fresh air.
My husband has not been honest with me since the beginning of this marriage and I doubt if this is an attitude of a man that loves

He has always been in debt even before I married him. and he wouldn't let me know what he do with the money he keeps borrowing from people. Even my friends I introduced to him, he is owning them and can't pay back.

The bad side is, he borrows and stop picking their calls not respond nicely to them.
He behalves badly to them.
I'm suspecting he's into some kind of addiction that demands money. Maybe gambling but he wouldn't tell me.
He's constantly on his phone.

He is owning loan app everywhere. To the extent that the app had to send hurrible messages to his contact's lists including his bosses, office colleagues and my relatives.
It's so embarrassing and tiring.
He has apologized several times that I should give him time to work on himself to stop an addiction, but he refused to explain what it is. Claiming that I might leave him if I know.
But he has not changed abit.
We are always hungry in this house. No baby food for my 6months old baby, no pampers and everything is total struggle. I quit my job last year but I'll soon start job search once my baby grow a little.
In this house, If I don't look for food, then, we starve, I don't look for means of getting pampers, food, wears,then my baby will suffer, because his daddy is not capable of providing anything for us. It's so annoying.

I have dreams before I married him, but right now, I feel lost. There's no romance, no love, no affection in this marriage anymore, as I wouldn't even let him touch me because of the stress, suffer he constantly brings on us.

Money I raised to start up a business, (340k) I ended up using it to pay for his debt last two months because the people were always coming to embarrass us in the house and neighbors were coming to pleade on our behalf. I had to clear up the loan, yet he couldn't explain what he did with the money.
With that start up capital, I would have been growing by now, but here I am. Still at the zero point.

I'm really tired
I'm so confused here.
What should I do?
What would you advise?

God bless you for sharing, let me give you a simple advice. Marriage is an institution, study him and work with him. Show true affection and ensure you help him out when necessary. Make it work don't give up yet. It was love and having a beautiful family that attracts you together. Let him understand you are with him through these tiny period.
You are a beautiful soul.
It will end with a marvelous testimony.
God bless your home

Amayabor1:
What have you said now? Nothing! So, let's assume she saw the signs, what advise do you have for her? Zero advise. But you already assume she saw the signs. Is she here because of the signs or she is here for advise?

Foolish people!

Who is this latest slowpoke in the building?

May thunder split your cursed head in two.

Bastard went on repeating himself and drooling all over because he wants to troll.

Get into my mentions again and watch how your mother's asshole will never find rest.

Frustrated cursed swine.

RALPHOW:
Let me tell you the truth "nobody including your husband love to be in debt, he is facing challenge that is beyond his control, another thing is that the cost of maintaining the family has gone above the income of many Nigerians and a responsible man will still like to provide at all cost, untill it's out of his control.

Solutions
1. [b]It will be great if you can secure a job fast and start supporting him financially to maintain your family
[/b]
2. He needs your emotional support right now, deny him your body will only add to his stress, try to be part of solution and not another problem.

3. Spiritual solution, tel him to pay tithe of any borrowed money and devil will let go of his finance and he will stop borrowing in Jesus Name it's logical in the spiritual realm).

4. Marriage is for better for worse,, your attitude in these days of worse matter to him and it will determine how much he will appreciate you in the days of good.

If you can endure and stay by him, your GREAT DAYS will soon be here.

He needs your support and not anger or insults now than ever.

He will only open up to you, if he can see your sincere readiness to support him and not to insult him.

Devil is only after your happy marriage, by the time you park out, your eyes will open to the truth and a woman may come to his aid.

GRASS IS NOT GREEN ANYWHERE, SOMEONE WATER IT TO BE GREEN
GOD WILL HELP YOUR MARRIAGE

That's the part that's really giving me headache. Why? I'm not the one doing the wrong thing here, why would I be the one to quickly get a job to support him financially? Who will be there to support our baby if all my support is aiming at him?

Nice2023:
Because u are deaf.

How do I make u normal.

I am sure u are a chronic gambler...that is why u are angry.

Your name is an irony of your personality, you lack manners, please give the phone to the owner.

Your husband's addiction could be sports' betting. Steal his phone and hide it for a week

My advice... Do more of what makes you happy irrespective.

Dearlove2me:
The truth is right now, I feel like going somewhere for a while. I feel like I need rest. Somewhere I can forget about all my problems and breathe a fresh air.
My husband has not been honest with me since the beginning of this marriage and I doubt if this is an attitude of a man that loves

He has always been in debt even before I married him. and he wouldn't let me know what he do with the money he keeps borrowing from people. Even my friends I introduced to him, he is owning them and can't pay back.

The bad side is, he borrows and stop picking their calls not respond nicely to them.
He behalves badly to them.
I'm suspecting he's into some kind of addiction that demands money. Maybe gambling but he wouldn't tell me.
He's constantly on his phone.

He is owning loan app everywhere. To the extent that the app had to send hurrible messages to his contact's lists including his bosses, office colleagues and my relatives.
It's so embarrassing and tiring.
He has apologized several times that I should give him time to work on himself to stop an addiction, but he refused to explain what it is. Claiming that I might leave him if I know.
But he has not changed abit.
We are always hungry in this house. No baby food for my 6months old baby, no pampers and everything is total struggle. I quit my job last year but I'll soon start job search once my baby grow a little.
In this house, If I don't look for food, then, we starve, I don't look for means of getting pampers, food, wears,then my baby will suffer, because his daddy is not capable of providing anything for us. It's so annoying.

I have dreams before I married him, but right now, I feel lost. There's no romance, no love, no affection in this marriage anymore, as I wouldn't even let him touch me because of the stress, suffer he constantly brings on us.

Money I raised to start up a business, (340k) I ended up using it to pay for his debt last two months because the people were always coming to embarrass us in the house and neighbors were coming to pleade on our behalf. I had to clear up the loan, yet he couldn't explain what he did with the money.
With that start up capital, I would have been growing by now, but here I am. Still at the zero point.

I'm really tired
I'm so confused here.
What should I do?
What would you advise?

Try to study his patterns. What does he do during his free time? Does he go out at night or disappears occasionally only to show up? what was he doing before he married you? How is the sex life and most importantly what fascinates him as a person (vices if you may call it). You're in this mess too or rather addiction cause here you are crying about it. The sooner you discover it and find maybe a therapist for him or a councilor (not a Pastor) the sooner the better for you and your baby. Or you walk away from him for a while, take your baby and request space, move to another town or something. If he doesn't sit up to fight for it then he's gone

Romanoff:
You need to be sane for your kids and for that marriage if you want it to work.

The thing with men like your husband is, if they haven't reached rock bottom, they'll never change.

You can either separate from him so you can have a clear head to better your life and that of your kids while he gets his life together.

dude is already rock bottom. Just hasn't touched the floor

millstone:
dude is already rock bottom. Just hasn't touched the floor

E never realize am ni

The mistake you make was to use the capital you rise to start up a business to pay the loan he owe. You should think about your baby and yourself first. If he can't tell you what he's borrowing money to do then there's no need for you to still live together with him. Since he's always on phone, you need to make him sleep then you access his phone before you stay for water soap enter your eyes.

You go no where; when u where dating him, you saw it but the hunger of marriage block your view! If you divorce your husband u are on your way to Hell, na first Clas ticket to Hell. Pray for him, that is your cross! Don’t give up, God allow you to marry him so that u can convert him. Show him love, talk to him calmly, pray for him every mid night. Make a positive confession to him, tell him “my love you will change, you are a good man” you will see the magic! God will clean your tears.
My Dad use to drink and follow women but God arrested him through my mom; Now he loves God more than her. Don’t give up.

Geovanni412:
Sister, check that acct

It was created on the same day this post was made

This might be a fictitious story

Only one post has been made by this naira lander, Dearlove2me.

For all we know, it could be a guy that owns the acct.

Thanks so much for the heads up, Bro.

RALPHOW:
Let me tell you the truth "nobody including your husband love to be in debt, he is facing challenge that is beyond his control, another thing is that the cost of maintaining the family has gone above the income of many Nigerians and a responsible man will still like to provide at all cost, untill it's out of his control.

Solutions
1. It will be great if you can secure a job fast and start supporting him financially to maintain your family

2. He needs your emotional support right now, deny him your body will only add to his stress, try to be part of solution and not another problem.

3. Spiritual solution, tel him to pay tithe of any borrowed money and devil will let go of his finance and he will stop borrowing in Jesus Name it's logical in the spiritual realm).

4. Marriage is for better for worse,, your attitude in these days of worse matter to him and it will determine how much he will appreciate you in the days of good.

If you can endure and stay by him, your GREAT DAYS will soon be here.

He needs your support and not anger or insults now than ever.

He will only open up to you, if he can see your sincere readiness to support him and not to insult him.

Devil is only after your happy marriage, by the time you park out, your eyes will open to the truth and a woman may come to his aid.

GRASS IS NOT GREEN ANYWHERE, SOMEONE WATER IT TO BE GREEN
GOD WILL HELP YOUR MARRIAGE

I honestly hope you are being sarcastic

Dearlove2me:
Are you for real? That I share my story and you mock me? May you never go through all the stress I'm going through here.
What's wrong if I join the forum and seek for advice?

Nothing wrong with joining the forum

Nobody is mocking you. I just laid out the facts based on all we've seen on this forum.

That said, there is no solution to the problem you have other than for you to leave the man.

Even your bible said that a man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. It also said that what has light got to do with darkness.

Your husband is either a womaniser, a gambler or maintaining another family. You no fit solve any of these problems.

I'm not one of many input but the blame is partialy in u. even if u dont know his addiction,u knew he was financially unstable before marriage still u chose to quit ur job after marriage, u didnt help the situation at that point
and based on his addiction, if dont leave u will continue to get drag down, just know what you're doing when you arent with him, make better life for urself and ur kid, try to make that paramount maybe u will see reasons u need to give him space not divorcing him oo.
stop being of the opinion that u can change someone who will change will change, u can only be a boost to reasons why a person need to correct himself but if he isnt ready my dear stop wasting time

I'm not one of many input but the blame is partialy in u. even if u dont know his addiction,u knew he was financially unstable before marriage still u chose to quit ur job after marriage, u didnt help the situation at that point
and based on his addiction, if dont leave u will continue to get drag down, just know what you're doing when you arent with him, make better life for urself and ur kid, try to make that paramount maybe u will see reasons u need to give him space not divorcing him oo.
stop being of the opinion that u can change someone who will change will change, u can only be a boost to reasons why a person need to correct himself but if he isnt ready my dear stop wasting time[color=#000099][/color]

Romanoff:
You don't have to go with all your things and before you leave, call a family meeting with him present so you can explain to both sides why you're separating from him and what he needs to do for you to come back.

Don't just leave like that, let your families be aware.

That's going to be the end of her leaving. Both families will plead with her to stay and tell the husband to change which he will never do.

@dearlove2me
Never call family meeting before you leave, informe them after leaving. The person to inform before is the person you are going to stay with.

stevups:
I sensed you packed some lies in your story. Part of it might be true though, when things were rosy you ate it together but now situation has changed, your expectations too were tampered with. Please don't be discouraged, he will bounce back. A close friend remarried recently after his wife packaged concocted story for her parents but now she's alone with two children. Don't deceive yourself madam help him, you have signed a warrant!

Kindly read her story well. Read well before commenting.

There was never a time she enjoyed...she said immediately they got married she noticed the debts and since then it's been piling up. It was never rosy at any time.

maasoap:
That's going to be the end of her leaving. Both families will plead with her to stay and tell the husband to change which he will never do.

@dearlove2me
Never call family meeting before you leave, informe them after leaving. The person to inform before is the person you are going to stay with.

She didn't marry herself. Both families came together to marry her, it's wise for the families to be aware before she leaves.

Spirit247:
Please, before it becomes too late for you, locate an MFM Church and quickly enroll for 3 Days Dry Fasting Deliverance Program for your Husband. The only Prayer you should focus on is saying:" My Husband(Name) the Son of so(mother) and so(father) Blood of JESUS wash away all your Sins, and Consuming Fire of the CREATOR of Humanity roast to ashes from your Life every Bewitchment Chains of indebtedness in JESUS' Pure Name!!!!!!! It is impossible for you to Pay this urgent Spiritual Price for your Husband and for him not to become a Multi-Millionaire soonest. He shall Prosper beyond your widest imagination, they attacked him because they saw his Glorious Destiny. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10. I Speak to you by Prophecy, it is left for you to Progress in Salvation SPIRIT or to continue to regress into being enslaved by Flesh. I wish you all the good you wish yourself in Life.

■ Has MFM granted all the 10s of thousands of women, who have been sitting in its churches, year after year, fasting and praying for their estranged husbands to return to them and broken marriages renewed, answers to their every prayers?
■ Has MFM delivered its own officials who are equally living in the clutches of one addiction or the other?
■ Have the fasting and praying abandoned wives of MFM, who spent much of their youth praying for their adulterous spouses to return to them by Fire or by force, had their case resolved?

Why are you here trying to recruit this woman into what is a customer-service blackmore that is your church deliverance centers?

Eteka1:
DON'T leave your husband because he's in trouble (wether self-inflicted or not). Talk to your pastor to pray for and counsel him. He needs your help to get out of this.

Has pastor himself been able to counsel and pray his way out of all of the troubles in his own life, including his own possible addictions? Why should she drown her youth like many of the 100s of 1000s of women out there who are still fasting and praying , so many years later, for God to do what God never said He would do?

Eteka1:
exactly

If I were to ask God to make OP's burden possible in your life so you can come here to regale us with stories of how you are taking care of a partner like OPs, will be you be willing to accept the burden?