How & Why do siblings fall apart? - Family - Nairaland
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| How & Why do siblings fall apart? by yazga: 10:26am On Aug 22, 2019 |
I've been hearing frequent tales on this issue between siblings and its been making me wonder how it all starts. I love my siblings to pieces and I'm sure they feel the same way towards me so I can't really imagine why anyone would hate theirs so much they do neither see nor talk. Some even turn their lives into competitions with their brothers/sisters. A friend once narrated to me how her immediate elder sister treated her while they were staying together and how the sister stylishly threw her out of the house for no real reason asides petty issues.now that she's even married and her elder sister is not,they are sworn enemies! Two of my aunt (sisters) and at war now-for petty reasons! One of my friends doesnt know ANYTHING about his brother and they don't ever call each other for no reason! Why oh why!  74 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 11:42am On Aug 22, 2019 |
Hmn. I don't even know where to start. I believe siblings fall apart for a number of reasons. Envy is one of these reasons. We should all realize that though siblings come out of the birth canal of the same Mother, their destinies are different. The eldest child might not be the most successful child. In a family of 7 children, the 5th born might become richer than the other children due to reasons best known to God and hardwork. Sometimes, strife among siblings is caused by the Father or Mother who openly love one child than the others. The other children will notice this as they grow up and resentment and hate for the favored child sets in. Naturally, there will be competition among siblings but the behaviour of Parents also lead to disharmony among siblings later in life. So when the 4th born starts prospering than his senior brothers and sisters, strife sets in. I have also observed that wives and husbands of siblings also contribute to them falling apart. Women are naturally very competitive and they can wreck havoc on the love between two brothers. I know what I am saying because I have experienced this directly. The wife of an elder brother might not be too happy seeing her husband's junior brother doing well than him. So jealousy sets in and we all know what can happen. In Europe and North America, there is little love between siblings because of the pressure to see who makes it big first. We have this absurd belief in Africa that the first born must do well than his junior siblings and that they must look up to him all the time. I have since thrown this belief into the dustbin and I've focused on my future with a view to doing well in life. Jay Jay Okocha's brother started playing football before him. Emmanuel Okocha played for the Super Eagles one or two times but Austin Okocha became a legend in the Nigerian National Team. It was even Emmanuel that took Austin Okocha to Germany. Jay Jay played for Clubs in Europe that his elder brother could only dream of. Yet they are still close to one another without any acrimony between them. Same obtains between Emmanuel and Celestine Babayaro. So I believe siblings should love one another and realize that our destinies are different because it is God that has the final answer as to what we will become in life. Cheers. 357 Likes 45 Shares |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Nobody: 9:19am On Aug 23, 2019 |
hmmmm 7 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by yazga: 2:32pm On Aug 23, 2019 |
Do you an experience to share? LillyVal: 2 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by 1forall: 4:20pm On Aug 23, 2019 |
Hey OP, division among siblings is real! It can arise for different reasons like: Spousal issues Jealousy or envy Money or inheritance Unhealthy competition Pride or superiority complex Preferential parental treatment Mismanaged individual differences If these situations are not arrested early but left to grow and fester, they are liable to cause irreparable damage to sibling relationships. Because everyone is important, leadership and maturity is required; particularly on the part of elder siblings, to navigate these situations without fracturing relationships. 104 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Nobody: 4:21pm On Aug 23, 2019 |
1forall:P-square come to mind. 8 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by larryking540: 8:49pm On Aug 23, 2019 |
just 2 things makes siblings fall apart 1. pride,why will I pick pride as the first, irrespective of who d first born is, there are somethings d first born can learn from the last born, same goes around, becus where d first born wouldn't step his or her legs, the last born go enter there and learn some valuable lessons,but the moment the last born day tell the first born some kin coded stuff or short cut,u will hear things like, who u b, am I ur mate, ,,,i believe what an old man can see while siting a young person can't see it, same with wat a young man can see while on top of the mountain even d old man too kw go see am, u will not believe some last born are the first to step foot outside 9ja and after a while they bring their elder ones along, but some or most elder ones go start to act like say they first their younger one come the new location, and na there problem take day start, 2.is greed,or envy, one person day succeed the other own is slow, my people every person to e grace, I have met people who where very dull in secondary school but today day fly outside 9ja like backyard, ur time go come just keep praying to God, and also pray for those succeeding 67 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 2:09pm On Aug 26, 2019 |
2 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by yazga: 12:27pm On Aug 27, 2019 |
Your comment spot on. Hamachi: 5 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 9:33am On Aug 28, 2019 |
Thanks. yazga: 3 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 4:31am On Jan 06, 2023 |
 larryking540: |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Praisepriest: 1:09pm On Jan 06, 2023 |
I am from a polygamous family, I haven't spoke withy father this year because of him and my stepmom sowing hatred into her kids against me and my sister. Make I dey on my own. 44 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 2:33pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
 Praisepriest: 1 Like |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Foodqueen(f): 5:05pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
Growing up I never knew that there could be grudges among siblings that aren't staying together anymore. But over the years, I understand that even the tiniest of things will cause them to fight. Don't even forget spouse. Wife and husband could be manipulative too. 21 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by sageb: 5:39pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
1forall: The sad reality 11 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Lance00009: 5:48pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
There are a lot of untold reason One party got fed up with another behavior 22 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:12pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
yazga: being siblings doesn t mean you have the same vision towards life, same are lucky, same are street wise, good education ,good manners and behaviour good jobs opportunity etc all those shapes person to be different in long run even if had grown up in th same house sharing the same blankets etc Like someone already mention we drift becoz of envy from our siblings, or through how one gets treated via mum/daddy favourite son or daughter etc Sometimes is through our wives, some wives make us better have a direction in life etc, not only wives it can be through brother in law etc The simplest thing is to always reflect on your own mum and father siblings do they all get along and act as one ? 9 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Nazgul: 8:17pm On Jan 11, 2023 |
yazga:Siblings don't just fall apart for no reason. Possible reasons why they do include... 1. Polygamy. 2. Poverty. 3. Divorce of parents. 4. Loss of one or both parents. Your friend's who's elder sister maltreated her, if you dig deep into their family, you'll discover that they fall under one of the reasons I mentioned above. 17 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Day169: 4:47am On Jan 13, 2023 |
.. just look at Cane and Abel!  4 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by IyaTola: 6:46am On Jan 13, 2023 |
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| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Musty112: 7:36am On Jan 13, 2023 |
This is always sad to see. Siblings fa. But then, never be the cause of family ties being severed. Try as much as possible to stitch it together, the lord will surely bless you for it 10 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by mabea: 8:29am On Jan 13, 2023 |
yazga:Marriage is one key reason especially the male folks. Another thing is unforgiveness. Finally an enemy especially from the mostly family. 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by mabea: 12:43pm On Jan 13, 2023 |
yazga:Marriage is one key reason especially the male folks. Another thing is unforgiveness. Finally an enemy especially from the extended family. 1 Like |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 2:43am On Jan 15, 2023 |
Musty112:It ain't easy 1 Like |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by emmanuelbrown26: 4:50pm On Jan 15, 2023 |
P-square come to mind.99% of issues amongst siblings is still d same gender. U will see 8 brothers that ears together and hangout together, but once that caused gender comes in, division fall in place 20 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Abujahouseman: 5:35pm On Jan 15, 2023 |
There was no love in the first place 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by Hamachi(f): 5:43pm On Jan 17, 2023 |
 Abujahouseman: |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by QuinModah(f): 5:19pm On Mar 25, 2023 |
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| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by sisisioge: 5:46pm On Mar 25, 2023 |
I think it's all in the upbringing. Parents who were partial to their children while raising them, those who encourage unhealthy competition and those who allow bullying. Their children end up feeling the need to keep up whatever they started with. The evil you plant will ripe some day....better watch it! 22 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by yemmit90: 5:46pm On Mar 25, 2023 |
1. Envy and jealousy 2. Pride and greed. *Siblings envy one another especially the poor ones among them. No matter what the rich ones do or gave them, they will never like him or her. * some people are very irrational with money. Once they have money, they will start disrespecting their siblings, wanting them to worship them and refuse to help them. Besides, most of what people called hatred or envy among siblings are not truly what it is. Humans naturally feel withdraw from negative reaction to protect their integrity. For instance, whenever a poor sibling decided to stop asking for help or refuse to be ridicule by other rich siblings, people call it envy and jealousy. What I have noticed in people is that, siblings rarely had issues with big brothers who are truly stand with them. 7 Likes |
| Re: How & Why do siblings fall apart? by QuinModah(f): 2:19pm On Mar 26, 2023 |
emmanuelbrown26: 3 Likes |
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