tete7000:


Adulthood and everything pertaining to it is all about responsibilities. Sometimes I look back and relish my childhood days. Those days when we run the street rolling tyres up and down while leaving our parents to worry about injuries sustained in the process.

Only those who remain infants in adulthood are those who don't know it is synonymous with responsibilities, with or without marriage. Marriage is just another responsibility associated with growing up, children don't marry, adults do.

Adulthood na scam my brother.

How is that necessary to know? Yes, I'm female.

[/quote]


[quote author=Katcall post=122090565] are you a boy or a girl?

djon78:


This one don carry religion come

Many people got children without being married
And they still take care of there children well

Don't use religion to cover up things
The way you women use religion to cover things
But if you check have no behavior or character that shows the person is religious

Even worse, their responsibility as instructed from their lovely religious book, many don't know. Such as to marry as a virgin

BigBashiru:


It's a must...

Go and force her to then.

BigBashiru:


God forbid that I should marry your type.

I hear you. Thank you.

ravensckar:
Marriage has been a blessing to me and I pray to God that it should continue that way.

Amen.

pansophist:


Adulthood na scam my brother.

I tell you. Unfortunately we can't remains kids and must grow up into adults, and not growing up too is also a disaster

DonroxyII:
Yeah, If such doesn't Gift you Mental Achievements as a Biological Existence then Something is wrong with Your Biological Build up which is Non of My Businesses ....

I rise, If Ya wife born pikin or Carry Belle u no go happy ... E get Wey Poverty dey reset Normal Human Brain upside down and you go think you normal ....

Na ihm make one man drink full big bottle of Chelsea dry gin cuz some some boys dey hail am until everything blank

Are you high on drug or what? You just capping nonsense here. Wetin concern wife carry belle born pikin with responsibility. Any woman fit get belle for you and born. That one no mean anything. Abeg don’t get married if you are not financially stable. You go regret am las las

ravensckar:
Mr. Man, take it easy with the hasty generalization. Your own marriage may be about paying bills but mine isn't all about that. As a matter of fact, when I was a bachelor, I was wretched and lacked focus in life. I was living in one room apartment and was always thinking of having se.x with random ladies. One Naira I don't have as savings talk less of achieving anything tangible in life. Then, I got married and my perspective changed. I became focused on my job and life. Within 5 years, I don build house, buy car born two pikin and started enjoying life. In summary, marriage brought me that change of perspective and today I'm happy.

Yes, you'll pay bills in marriage. Lots of them actually. But if you accept that responsibility and man up, it will make you better focused. You that have bills to pay will never engage in frivolities or financial rascality. Secondly, whatever it is that you do as a daily job, it will help you to become up & doing since you now know that lots of responsibilities rest on your shoulder.

Just speaking from my own perspective though. Marriage has been a blessing to me. It woke me up from my slumber and made me implement that radical change that was needed to turn my life around for good. I pray to God that it should continue that way. I ddon't want to go back to being useless biko.

See ehn! Irresponsibility and lack of self discipline should not be glorified or used as example.

A similar logic people use to encourage young struggling work in progress guys to marry, that children will bring blessings.

Going by your life example, Oscar Onyeama should have waited till he got married in his early 50s before he gets a hold of his life and build a career that lead to becoming CEO of Nigeria Stock Exchange

The pay Stack guys should have waited after marriage before being ambitious 😕🫤

Hope is not a strategy, what if after u got married and became worse?

Elon musk should have waited after marrying Justine before sense of responsibility and passion to make a positive dent in the world miraculously dawn on him?🙄

0neal:



See ehn! Irresponsibility and lack of self discipline should not be glorified or used as example.

A similar logic people use to encourage young struggling work in progress guys to marry, that children will bring blessings.

Going by your life example, Oscar Onyeama should have waited till he got married in his early 50s before he gets a hold of his life and build a career that lead to becoming CEO of Nigeria Stock Exchange

The pay Stack guys should have waited after marriage before being ambitious 😕🫤

Hope is not a strategy, what if after u got married and became worse?

Elon musk should have waited after marrying Justine before sense of responsibility and passion to make a positive dent in the world miraculously dawn on him?🙄

That's exactly where you missed it! I wasn't waiting to get married to get ahold of my life. I was just not serious then and it turned out that marriage gave me a change of perspective. For some people, it could he counselling that would give them that change of perspective. For others, it could be a near-death experience. But the point is that the day a man experiences a change of perspective, that's the day he will achieve breakthrough.

Secondly, my response was aimed at correcting the OP's false impression that marriage is only about paying bills. It's a wrong assertion and I believe I've used my personal experience to enlighten him. Even at that, some marriages are structured in a way that both couples share the bills. So, what's the hullaballoo about?


Finally, for every single one of those young successful people that you mentioned. I could list several others who achieved their own success after initially wasting away their youthful days. To each his own success story and mindset. Besides, there's a saying back then in Ajegunle where I come from that; 'Na the time when person wake up him own morning start'. Elon Musk can achieve whatever the f*ck he achieved in his youthful days. So?

ravensckar:
That's exactly where you missed it! I wasn't waiting to get married to get ahold of my life. I was just not serious then and it turned out that marriage gave me a change of perspective. For some people, it could he counselling that would give them that change of perspective. For others, it could be a near-death experience. But the point is that the day a man experiences a change of perspective, that's the day he will achieve breakthrough.

Secondly, my response was aimed at correcting the OP's false impression that marriage is only about paying bills. It's a wrong assertion and I believe I've used my personal experience to enlighten him. Even at that, some marriages are structured in a way that both couples share the bills. So, what's the hullaballoo about?


Finally, for every single one of those young successful people that you mentioned. I could list several others who achieved their own success after initially wasting away their youthful days. To each his own success story and mindset. Besides, there's a saying back then in Ajegunle where I come from that; 'Na the time when person wake up him own morning start'. Elon Musk can achieve whatever the f*ck he achieved in his youthful days. So?

Don't take it personally married man

Chill

Elon Musk is a motivation to billions of people and employes thousands of people, even people for Nigeria here dey use him StarLink to get fast Internet, so his waking up early is useful Globally and people can learn from it.

using the F-word is childish married man

I also quoted you to correct your use of personal experience of "bachelorhood irresponsibility" to advise persin weh dey complain about bills.

Marriage is not supposed to be a rehabilitation institution for irresponsible hot heads, likewise marriage is not all about paying bills.

0neal:


Don't take it personally married man

Chill

Elon Musk is a motivation to billions of people and employes thousands of people, even people for Nigeria here dey use him StarLink to get fast Internet, so his waking up early is useful Globally and people can learn from it.

using the F-word is childish married man

I also quoted you to correct your use of personal experience of "bachelorhood irresponsibility" to advise persin weh dey complain about bills.

Marriage is not supposed to be a rehabilitation institution for irresponsible hot heads, likewise marriage is not all about paying bills.

According to Dale Canergie; '... He who will not REASON is a BIGOT...' I don't want to believe that you're so bigoted that you merely argue for argument sake. Hence there's no basis for this unwarranted argument. A person shared his own opinion that marriage is all about paying bills. I differed (albeit politely) that my own marriage isn't all about paying bills.

You came in like a rabid dog to start spewing gibberish about why people shouldn't wait to be married to become serious with their life. Like where's the connection? It seems people like you with itchy fingers just jump on to discussions without understanding its import. A typical feature of a parrot; a creature that merely regurgitates words without actually understanding its import.

It has become crystal clear that being cynical is your speciality. However, I'm a little busy at the moment and I don't have the luxury of time to bandy words with you. I'll leave you with the Biblical verse that says; 'Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself'. Proverbs 26 verse 4.

Do not expect another reply from me!

millstone:
But isn't it supposed to be so? I mean what crop of husbands are we raising for goodness sake. Who else dey follow you yansh your wife? The day you walked to the altar and met her kinsmen swearing to shoulder her responsibility and whatever life the two of you bear you think it would come easy? Yes nag about the society and economy but don't you dare (most of the stupid bastards commenting on your post anyways) nag or embarass your wife in a public forum. Didn't you see the kind of person she was that she wasn't being supportive enough or understanding enough but still went ahead with it? Please if you can't continue kindly do the needful and let us know we have one less irresponsible husband in the society to worry about

Arrh I asked the same question @ first bolded, there is a very dangerous trend of irresponsible guys of marriagable age these days. It's not even about how much or how little they earn, it's about the terrible mindset.

Ladies should shine their eyes.

These generation of mothers should raise their sons well oo else a very major disaster is looming in the future.

Too much wailing and whining arrh.

Raalsalghul:


Nigeria happened to them.

The Nigeria that happened is it only these category it happened too? These set are beginning to wail to much and its annoying.

NoToPile:


Arrh I asked the same question @ first bolded, there is a very dangerous trend of irresponsible guys of marriagable age these days. It's not even about how much or how little they earn, it's about the terrible mindset.

Ladies should shine their eyes.

These generation of mothers should raise their sons well oo else a very major disaster is looming in the future.

Too much wailing and whining arrh.

I swear. They nag about women this, women that whereas they've completed ignored that most of the reason why they're so many damaged girls today is because we have failed fathers, men who ran away or stayed back and became a burden, ignored their responsibility and left their daughters at the street to be raised only for them to be doing worse than the men of old. It's very funny tbh

NoToPile:


The Nigeria that happened is it only these category it happened too? These set are beginning to wail to much and its annoying.

You have a point though but with the downturn in economy of Nigeria coupled with very hypergamic nature of our women, marriage isn't quite easy to sustain as before.

Young men from poorer and middle class backgrounds have to think thrice before going into marriage. And for those into it already, the above conditions makes it worse.

You can see different threads littered in the romance and family section how women harping on the fact that a man must carry their responsibilities in an economic where we have hyper inflation, unemployment/underemployment, stagnant salaries etc

So I can understand some of them when they complain.

Gerrard59: your input is needed on this.

elipheleh:
Lol.

See me thinking what I'm doing in marriage. Is this thing juju.

I've spent more than 8 million in 19 months of marriage.

When I was a bachelor, i didn't spend up to 1million in a year.

Blood of Zachariah!!!!

Adexgentle005:
You didn’t see when someone was complaining about dating high class women bah? No matter the kind of money women make, it won’t really change anything in marriage. Know this and know peace!

So you mean even if they're Rich you will still spend?

Kobojunkie:
1. So because one person complained about high class women, you decided by that it makes sense to marry a financially unstable women --- a complete adult with brain and ability to work --- as a dependent , on top of that add children, only to then come online to complain that marriage did it to you?

2. If you really believe that, then why are you here complaining at all? Why not accept your lot rather than come here to try to blame it all on marriage?.

Una no dey learn at all, that na the problem.

Haha

Raalsalghul:


You have a point though but with the downturn in economy of Nigeria coupled with very hypergamic nature of our women, marriage isn't quite easy to sustain as before.

Young men from poorer and middle class backgrounds have to think thrice before going into marriage. And for those into it already, the above conditions makes it worse.

You can see different threads littered in the romance and family section how women harping on the fact that a man must carry their responsibilities in an economic where we have hyper inflation, unemployment/underemployment, stagnant salaries etc

So I can understand some of them when they complain.

Gerrard59: your input is needed on this.

Even in Western nations with very good economy and enabling environment for financial growth plus government subsidy in a lot of things, yet marriage waning. I will tell, marriage has outlived it's purpose to an extent and although I do not advocate for it, I will only endulge in it if I'm getting something as good as a passport from it or inheritance like house or money.

Hassanmaye:

Blood of Zachariah!!!!

ROFLMAO!

Raalsalghul:


You have a point though but with the downturn in economy of Nigeria coupled with very hypergamic nature of our women, marriage isn't quite easy to sustain as before.

Young men from poorer and middle class backgrounds have to think thrice before going into marriage. And for those into it already, the above conditions makes it worse.

You can see different threads littered in the romance and family section how women harping on the fact that a man must carry their responsibilities in an economic where we have hyper inflation, unemployment/underemployment, stagnant salaries etc

So I can understand some of them when they complain.

Gerrar.d59: your input is needed on this.

Bros,

The situation dey everywhere. Two days ago, I was watching a CNN video on YouTube about the decline in marriage. The expert said it is because young men are not educated as before due to a focus on educating women, offshoring of manufacturing jobs which men usually hold, women squaring up with men economically but maintaining hypergamous standards for filtering them etc. The issue, he said is that there is a dearth of quality men for these women who are in great abundance. As a result, men are staying lonelier since this group of women don't want them. Here is the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK4y6C1Uuhw If to say na black man, I for think say na our brother in Christ - Pansophi.st.

Modernisation has been very good in providing goods and services - affordably and seamlessly. Also, quality of life has improved tremendously, and poverty has declined drastically. But it has resulted in sheer competition for scarce resources, and with women in the workforce, the competition gets fiercer. So, an average man is not just competing with his fellow average dudes but women, some of them are treated preferentially. Na one of the reasons the new South Korean president won, the men got fed up with how women were treated preferentially, yet they (men) are mandated to enlist in national service and have to be the provider in the family. In return, South Korean women no dey gree born or marry since they want to be very good at whatever they do and don't want to continue in the patriarchial system as their mothers. The result? The birth rate in SK is the lowest globally at 0.8, way below the standard for developed countries at 2.1. The same competition is part of the causes of low birth rates in China, Singapore and Japan. Unlike other parts of the world, in East Asia, children born out of wedlock are frowned upon. Rightfully so, because children born in single-parent families tend to be poorer than their parents, and single-mother families tend to be the poorest. In Japan, families with single mothers constitute the highest number of poor people. So East Asians are wary of having children out of wedlock. The costs are just too high socially, economically etc. Government no dey care about them. They focus on married couples. You see why I laugh when our people promote baby-mamaism?

So, Nigeria's case is even worse than the US, especially in the south; the competition for scarce jobs is very high. In 2018 abi 2019, more than 76K applied for PwC's graduate trainee. That same year, Seplat's applications was over 40K (i wrote about the recruitment process then on NL). Since then, Seplat never recruit again. Meanwhile, she is supposed to recruit every four years. In North America, oil companies recruited as oil prices climbed up. In Nigeria, companies no even see the oil to pipe to the awaiting seaborne tankers.

If not for religion and maybe culture, marriage rates for don drop in Nigeria as people would see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Religion offers hope. Africans' case is even worse than East Asians because they cannot move out easily to neighbouring countries to work and earn higher salaries. Japanese, South Koreans and Singaporeans can work in Australia, New Zealand, the US etc., earn higher salaries and later move back. The average Japanese who knows English has opportunities to work in Australia or apply for an L1 visa to work in the US for higher salaries. After all, more than 60% of the 24K+ Japanese researchers outside Japan are women. Where a typical Nigerian woman or man wan go? Na Niger Republic or Chad? Ghana? South Africa wey try dey OK, dem no like us. Even them sef get their wahala. Meanwhile, South Koreans are in the top 15 nationalities for Express Entry to Canada. Luckily for these Asians, the re-offshoring/friend-shoring of jobs away from China would benefit them in the long run.

I was thinking yesterday one of the reasons for the high rate of hookups na because things don hard for Nigeria. Just like the YT video, there are very few quality Nigerian men, unlike during Jonathan's administration. The few quality men are either married or have japa or want to japa. As jobs no too dey with low salaries, high cost of living and exposure to social media (these girls want to live like South Korean women, but where the work dey?), they resort to hookup. Luckily for them, the average Nigerian man likes to fvck. So when ₦2 enters his hand, he has budgeted ₦1 for toto services. I recall a tweet then by one chubby girl paraphrased - "why enter into a relationship when the same fvck the man go want yet he is doing his part financially. I prefer hookup straightaway after all, na the same fvck we go fvck"

Regex:


Even in Western nations with very good economy and enabling environment for financial growth plus government subsidy in a lot of things, yet marriage waning. I will tell, marriage has outlived it's purpose to an extent and although I do not advocate for it, I will only endulge in it if I'm getting something as good as a passport from it or inheritance like house or money.

Their problem is multifaceted. Women want the man to remain the major provider but simultaneously want equality in the household. The cost of housing is another issue. The way people lament about housing in Canada is frightening to me. It is one of the purported reasons Japan has a higher birth rate than her East Asian neighbours or cultural sibling like Singapore. https://www.economist.com/asia/2022/05/19/asias-advanced-economies-now-have-lower-birth-rates-than-japan Women sef don realise say they can live independently without a man. The cost of raising children is very high, and for most people, they marry because of children. So, it is part of the reason birth rates in developed countries are very low. East Asian own is extremely low compared to the west because they don't have children out of wedlock. Few marry without having children, unlike in the west. I have asked some of them questions about childbearing. The responses are: postponed marriage till further notice or just a child or no children at all.

https://asia.nikkei.com/Spotlight/Society/One-in-four-30-somethings-unwilling-to-marry-in-Japan-survey

In summary, children don't have immediate usefulness in a society with political stability, longevity, high educational attainment and no arranged marriage. Women, as a result of being educated, have gotten choosier and, in a wealthy society, prefer being on their own.

Gerrard59:


Their problem is multifaceted. Women want the man to remain the major provider but simultaneously want equality in the household. The cost of housing is another issue. The way people lament about housing in Canada is frightening to me. It is one of the purported reasons Japan has a higher birth rate than her East Asian neighbours or cultural sibling like Singapore. https://www.economist.com/asia/2022/05/19/asias-advanced-economies-now-have-lower-birth-rates-than-japan Women sef don realise say they can live independently without a man. The cost of raising children is very high, and for most people, they marry because of children. So, it is part of the reason birth rates in developed countries are very low. East Asian own is extremely low compared to the west because they don't have children out of wedlock. Few marry without having children, unlike in the west. I have asked some of them questions about childbearing. The responses are: postponed marriage till further notice or just a child or no children at all.

https://asia.nikkei.com/Spotlight/Society/One-in-four-30-somethings-unwilling-to-marry-in-Japan-survey

In summary, children don't have immediate usefulness in a society with political stability, longevity, high educational attainment and no arranged marriage. Women, as a result of being educated, have gotten choosier and, in a wealthy society, prefer being on their own.

Your papa school fees no waste at all. He should be a proud man wherever he is.

Gerrard59:




Bros,

The situation dey everywhere. Two days ago, I was watching a CNN video on YouTube about the decline in marriage. The expert said it is because young men are not educated as before due to a focus on educating women, offshoring of manufacturing jobs which men usually hold, women squaring up with men economically but maintaining hypergamous standards for filtering them etc. The issue, he said is that there is a dearth of quality men for these women who are in great abundance. As a result, men are staying lonelier since this group of women don't want them. Here is the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK4y6C1Uuhw If to say na black man, I for think say na our brother in Christ - Pansophi.st.

Modernisation has been very good in providing goods and services - affordably and seamlessly. Also, quality of life has improved tremendously, and poverty has declined drastically. But it has resulted in sheer competition for scarce resources, and with women in the workforce, the competition gets fiercer. So, an average man is not just competing with his fellow average dudes but women, some of them are treated preferentially. Na one of the reasons the new South Korean president won, the men got fed up with how women were treated preferentially, yet they (men) are mandated to enlist in national service and have to be the provider in the family. In return, South Korean women no dey gree born or marry since they want to be very good at whatever they do and don't want to continue in the patriarchial system as their mothers. The result? The birth rate in SK is the lowest globally at 0.8, way below the standard for developed countries at 2.1. The same competition is part of the causes of low birth rates in China, Singapore and Japan. Unlike other parts of the world, in East Asia, children born out of wedlock are frowned upon. Rightfully so, because children born in single-parent families tend to be poorer than their parents, and single-mother families tend to be the poorest. In Japan, families with single mothers constitute the highest number of poor people. So East Asians are wary of having children out of wedlock. The costs are just too high socially, economically etc. Government no dey care about them. They focus on married couples. You see why I laugh when our people promote baby-mamaism?

So, Nigeria's case is even worse than the US, especially in the south; the competition for scarce jobs is very high. In 2018 abi 2019, more than 76K applied for PwC's graduate trainee. That same year, Seplat's applications was over 40K (i wrote about the recruitment process then on NL). Since then, Seplat never recruit again. Meanwhile, she is supposed to recruit every four years. In North America, oil companies recruited as oil prices climbed up. In Nigeria, companies no even see the oil to pipe to the awaiting seaborne tankers.

If not for religion and maybe culture, marriage rates for don drop in Nigeria as people would see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Religion offers hope. Africans' case is even worse than East Asians because they cannot move out easily to neighbouring countries to work and earn higher salaries. Japanese, South Koreans and Singaporeans can work in Australia, New Zealand, the US etc., earn higher salaries and later move back. The average Japanese who knows English has opportunities to work in Australia or apply for an L1 visa to work in the US for higher salaries. After all, more than 60% of the 24K+ Japanese researchers outside Japan are women. Where a typical Nigerian woman or man wan go? Na Niger Republic or Chad? Ghana? South Africa wey try dey OK, dem no like us. Even them sef get their wahala. Meanwhile, South Koreans are in the top 15 nationalities for Express Entry to Canada. Luckily for these Asians, the re-offshoring/friend-shoring of jobs away from China would benefit them in the long run.

I was thinking yesterday one of the reasons for the high rate of hookups na because things don hard for Nigeria. Just like the YT video, there are very few quality Nigerian men, unlike during Jonathan's administration. The few quality men are either married or have japa or want to japa. As jobs no too dey with low salaries, high cost of living and exposure to social media (these girls want to live like South Korean women, but where the work dey?), they resort to hookup. Luckily for them, the average Nigerian man likes to fvck. So when ₦2 enters his hand, he has budgeted ₦1 for toto services. I recall a tweet then by one chubby girl paraphrased - "why enter into a relationship when the same fvck the man go want yet he is doing his part financially. I prefer hookup straightaway after all, na the same fvck we go fvck"

I always look forward to seeing your posts anytime I think about coming on here. More wisdom bro.
Please are you on Twitter?

Hilariousthiago:
I always look forward to seeing your posts anytime I think about coming on here. More wisdom bro.
Please are you on Twitter?

Yes. But it is a burner account, so I cannot share it.

As usual? Men complaining about being expected to provide but when you ask them to be more hands on at home they use their nonexistent role as providers as a justification for not doing it. Hmm 🤔

ravensckar:
That's exactly where you missed it! I wasn't waiting to get married to get ahold of my life. I was just not serious then and it turned out that marriage gave me a change of perspective. For some people, it could he counselling that would give them that change of perspective. For others, it could be a near-death experience. But the point is that the day a man experiences a change of perspective, that's the day he will achieve breakthrough.

Secondly, my response was aimed at correcting the OP's false impression that marriage is only about paying bills. It's a wrong assertion and I believe I've used my personal experience to enlighten him. Even at that, some marriages are structured in a way that both couples share the bills. So, what's the hullaballoo about?
[

Finally, for every single one of those young successful people that you mentioned. I could list several others who achieved their own success after initially wasting away their youthful days. To each his own success story and mindset. Besides, there's a saying back then in Ajegunle where I come from that; 'Na the time when person wake up him own morning start'. Elon Musk can achieve whatever the f*ck he achieved in his youthful days. So?

At bolder, go and verify that woman does not have any atom of respect for that man. she talks to him anyhow and with threats!

cococandy:
As usual? Men complaining about being expected to provide but when you ask them to be more hands on at home they use their nonexistent role as providers as a justification for not doing it. Hmm 🤔

No one is complaining, I’m just be realistic and to tell people marriage is not what it seems to be. Nothing special about it. Just pay bills and die!

Regex:


Even in Western nations with very good economy and enabling environment for financial growth plus government subsidy in a lot of things, yet marriage waning. I will tell, marriage has outlived it's purpose to an extent and although I do not advocate for it, I will only endulge in it if I'm getting something as good as a passport from it or inheritance like house or money.

Exactly my brother! Marriage has outlived its purpose. At this point I’m even considering divorce because I ain’t enjoying shit. I really need fresh air.

Adexgentle005:
No one is complaining, I’m just be realistic and to tell people marriage is not what it seems to be. Nothing special about it. Just pay bills and die!

maybe you’re not but the rest of y’all in the comments are

Adexgentle005:
Exactly my brother! Marriage has outlived its purpose. At this point I’m even considering divorce because I ain’t enjoying shit. I really need fresh air.

do get divorced. I encourage it