GetMeRight:


Good advice and long stories at the same time. But the truth is that, if she is determined to explore and see what is outside her marriage, no romantic gestures from her husband can stop her.
Telling her husband that he's not romantic is just an excuse to do what is on her mind. We can't ignore the fact that she married very early and we all know the possible outcome of this for women.
At the same time, we can't ignore the effects of social media and the kinds of people and things she might be exposing to online.
She wants piercings (could it be nose, ears or somewhere more private?), tattoos, leg chains, waist beads! Is all these new cravings is as a result of the husband not being romantic too?

So ... It's a subset of him -not being romantic.!
You are correct that social media and Tele-vision which is someone's vision of how things should be imprinted on our minds via the telly has played a factor.
Yet, the cravings of piercings, tattoos, leg chains etc are outward beauty accessories which cry of
" I want to be seen ; I want to be appreciated " " I am still a babe also ; I still have it " when your husband comes home and doesn't recognize a new hairstyle , or tight jeans flaunting her figure , she "dies a little ". Or doesn't compliment her as woman, his wife, It hurts . Being married shouldn't be the dearth of all things sweet, lovely and romantic. IMO
Even for us men - a compliment from a gf/wife goes a long way to spice up things ?"

starlingbawa:
What's the BIG DEAL about the comment? I'm more worried about the fact that soon Nigerians may need to pay 750 for a litre of gasoline. You should too!

Lol. I don’t trust Buhari not to attempt it because we don't even know who he is anymore. But the incoming president can't take that path. Yaradua once reversed the petrol price increment, it can still happen again

rickleye:


So ... It's a subset of him -not being romantic.!
You are correct that social media and Tele-vision which is someone's vision of how things should be imprinted on our minds via the telly has played a factor.
Yet, the cravings of piercings, tattoos, leg chains etc are outward beauty accessories which cry of
" I want to be seen ; I want to be appreciated " " I am still a babe also ; I still have it " when your husband comes home and doesn't recognize a new hairstyle , or tight jeans flaunting her figure , she "dies a little ". or doesn't compliment her as woman, his wife. Being married shouldn't be the dearth of all things sweet, lovely and romantic. IMO

I do hope that you are right and that this is what it is all about.

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

You cannot be finished, but pray for your home.

She has seen new dick

I still think that you guys are the ones who corrupted your women into believing that there's no love without money.

And I've also noticed how most of those Nigerian men that I've seen who are married to foreign women go for either unemployed women, or those women who do low paying work from home type of jobs.

I'm guessing that they go for those kind of women because they're used to being the providers of the house and they'd prefer that their women solely depend on them for almost everything... That's why your women would always expect you guys to provide for them.

GetMeRight:


Okay, you're not in Nigeria. But wherever you are, it is not your men encouraging you to make your own money, it is the culture and mentality. You don't have options than to work for your own money. Here in Nigeria, the culture and mentality of our ladies is totally different.



I'm not sure you are referring to Nigeria situation. But if you are, there are few exceptions to every rule. An average Nigerian guy without loaded pockets is prone to a series of rejection. We have all been there.

GetMeRight:


I do hope that you are right and that this is what it is all about.

lol.. time will tell.

Gamesmart:


Very well said.

If Mr A does something for or to a woman, she might love it and be satisfied.

If Mr B does exactly the same thing for or to a woman, she would hate it and be unsatisfied.

Whether you are treated like Mr A or B depends on how much she likes and is attracted to you.

The woman wants to be pleased by anything Mr A does and will find a way to be pleased if she likes him and feels lucky he is entertaining her.

Well said!

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

She is jobless and she have a bad friend and she love going to club, she has seen her mate doing all this , She is influenced by all these factors, you should engage her.

Solutions
Give her work, change location, and plan a long vacation with her...
Hmm 10 years of marriage and you don't see that coming.

Basicend:


Why did you say don't get emotionally attached to a woman, Sir?

Lemme have ur nos. Thanks.

Al lot of reasons .. from their fickle nature to their ability to switch sides .

Nos??

Jamie1000:
She didn't explore... Even though street been dey her eyes. Have a honest conversation with her. There's room for improvement but If she wan enter street back... Get a divorce make young boys use her catch cruise. Experience is the best teacher.

Guy, u be badt guy o. . Lol.

nams77:

That one better sef. She can cheat with her neighbour's unemployed nephew and be giving the guy 20k out of the 100k from her husband

Very possible.

More reason I tell men not to go overboard for a woman, it doesn't stop her from misbehaving.
Do your best as a husband and leave the rest.

Autobot05:


Al lot of reasons .. from their fickle nature to their ability to switch sides .

Nos??

That's why I wanted to call . . I have many practical cases and was wondering . . Is it all of them that are like that?

Basicend:


That's why I wanted to call . . I have many practical cases and was wondering . . Is it all of them that are like that?

Calls are Not necessary. Lmao not like I'm an expert tho
From this generation almost all if not all

Samantha124:
But what made her to move on mentally in the first place?

Let's start from there.

Are you trying to blame the man ? So the man must be responsible for the woman mentally moving on?If it was a man that has mentally moved on from his marriage and wants to start exploring would you say the same thing?

Basicend:
Hmm. .

She now wants to start tasting many fishes she missed while at young age. .

Most likely you married her a virgin and or at an early age.

Bro, there are some men out there confusing and deceiving ya wife.

Pray to God to salvage ur transforming wife and marriage.

I think so too.She probably still looks beautiful despite the three children.Obviously there are other men in the background, she may not be sleeping with them yet but should be close to doing that.If I were the man , I will ask for separation so she can do what’s on her minds.How can you say I’m not romantic after 10 years and 3 children? Something is seriously wrong somewhere.

Dennisbulkan:

Give her time after 10yrs in marriage? she will change? You're delusional. She's tired of the marriage & wants a new adventure. She's definitely cheating with her ideal romantic man now. Their marriage is dead.

You may be right.I was in this situation myself too.I tried to be “romantic” and “kind” and ended up wasting my time and efforts.The woman is in UK now.The man should quietly separate from the man and enjoy his peace& after healing can date again.

Mrwhite09:
im sorry to break it to u but all women are like that. she tasted another man nd she cant resist it anymore. why did it take her 10years to realize he is not romantic? think about it young lady

Just imagine ! It took 10 years and 3 children for the woman to realize that her husband isn’t romantic! She is cooking something for herself.

MechanicMike:


is she lightskin like Wumi2017 sir?

Mrcork aka pumpumking, pumpumprince DaddyCK 🤣 you don come again 🤣😂

I'm not blaming anyone, I'm asking.

Olu1000:



Are you trying to blame the man ? So the man must be responsible for the woman mentally moving on?If it was a man that has mentally moved on from his marriage and wants to start exploring would you say the same thing?

Gamesmart:


Is there anywhere I said all women who has given birth that have unhealthy weight gain?

The reality is that most Nigerian women do.

Romantic gestures are mostly subconscious, spontaneous and spurred from a man being in lust. So, if he has stopped doing it and it is because she is not looking good enough to lust after her anymore, should he be telling her that?

And would you be telling her that she needs to ask him what weight loss level he wants? Or you would be hissing under your breath and saying he is a bastard that does not appreciate his wife.

Secondly, don't present me with false binary. Please qualify "flesh".

Nigerian men like women with flesh, does not mean Nigerian men like women with fat or flab.

Nigerian men like women with reasonable flesh that are highly shapely. That is why many Nigerian girls are doing surgery to attain these.

Nigerian men don't want obese and wobbly.

Nigerian men tend to get slimmer girls as side chics when theirs wives have "flesh" that is obese, shapeless and wobbly.

Okay! Thank God for blessing me with a good body.

Let's stop arguing, and hope OP and his wife resolve whatever that is trying to kill/come between 10years of peace, love, and what have you in their marriage.

It's cause for worry but don't bother yourself, just ignore her.
But know this, if your wife of 10 years suddenly and proudly tells you that you are not romantic, it means she has started putting her spare time to extra marital activities.
She has started tasting another apple in the garden

snthesis:


hmmm, i'm thinking of going through her phone, something is not right

don't try to please her too much. truth is even if you start practicing all what she tells you to, she'd still not change. she is no longer attracted to you. someone else has come into the picture. likely a guy or a female friend is formatting her brain funny thing is she may not even tell you how to adjust. it's just an excuse to move away from you as she doesn't want to feel the guilt of cheating on you. you may have to call a family meeting very soon. things might get really ugly. the truth is in her phone. especially that WhatsApp but be careful and make up your mind to accept whatever you see. if you no get mind, no check am o and if you easily get confrontational, don't check it.

PDJT:


-You think we are all kids here. .

-Mr. OP this is your chance to restore order in your home and life. Go and marry another younger wife (18 - 25 years) for your sanity and old age. DM me if you need any assistance. A woman of over 33 is already becoming a Mother Hen. Let her enter street, men of the street can't wait to welcome her.
-Look after yourself man, and be very selfish about it.

He should restore order by marrying another wife?

The same order Yul Edochie restored to his home abi?

I have given the OP my two Kobos and moved on from the thread.

rickleye:


Haha, it’s called midlife crisis.

Just tell her she is right and start the dating process again.
Many of us think our wives are like our mothers . Marry and keep for home. The game is changing bro. I am sure she has a friend on WhatsApp with whom she has discussed this with already.

1. Plan a date nite every week . Go catch a flick and have someone watch the kids.
2. Do something together with the family once a month. Go to Olumo Rock and Beach . A family outing .
3. Don’t forget her birthday make it exciting ( get her flowers or money - depending on her love language)
4. Make an effort to show PDA infront of the kids. Steal a kiss 💋, slap her buttocks , call her sexy mamacita or siren.
5. Make sex impromptu. After coitus , ask would like a glass of water or wine to relax ( she will laugh and say , thank you yes or no )
6. If you are just Spooning dude , change into missionary or doggy . ( now sex and love are not the same) . Massage and ask her where she may want to be touched to excite her …

Make the effort !!! You might not be comfortable doing any of the above but as you mentioned it appears she never “ lived “ done anything she wanted to do . Her first born is 10.
And it’s been mummy this , mummy that !

I would give her the leg chain *

Don’t ignore her warnings or else someone else will fill the void.

This happen when one is an ardent Mills & Boon novels fan.

JustcallmeFavou:


Okay! Thank God for blessing me with a good body.

Let's stop arguing, and hope OP and his wife resolve whatever that is trying to kill/come between 10years of peace, love, and what have you in their marriage.

How good is it?

SoaringLife01:


This happen when one is an ardent Mills & Boon novels fan.

not really

let give you an example do you know that, the house you live in will determine your the type of se.x you have as couple

eg if you are living in a one room accomadation, your wife might worry about moaning becoz she doesnt want people in the next room hear her therefore during sex she would be worried much than enjoying

A couple with a proper eg 5 bedroom
house can afford to create a candle light romantic atmosphere in the bedroom and they wont be worried about people next door

so being romantic can be roughly influenced by

1 how you were raised and learnt being romantic

2 by the environment you are current in

3 by your own wishes and fantacies

one's wish and fantancy doesnt make it wrong becoz you also have your own wishes and fantacies, does that make them wrong ?

When u marry too early /early, eg the man is 25 years, 50 years of marriage he is 75years old...... The years of marriage looks huge and may bring less excitement and quick boredom...Unlike a man who married at 35 years, 40 years of marriage is still manageable....

All in all, don't let the flame in marriage to go off.

sharone21:
When u marry too early /early, eg the man is 25 years, 50 years of marriage he is 75years old...... The years of marriage looks huge and may bring less excitement and quick boredom...Unlike a man who married at 35 years, 40 years of marriage is still manageable....

All in all, don't let the flame in marriage to go off.

from few studies marrying early has s bit disadvantage

usually you would be young doing things as duty/ as expected eg give him sex as long he wants it

while hubby is also busy doing it for rounds aka i do 5 rounds (beer talk with friends) instead do it satify the wive too

so eg girl get married at 20 the guy is 25

by the time she gets 30 she would have matured to understand her sexual needs and her body etc sex by then she nolonger do it as duty but desire too and the 10 year would have built self confidence of sex desire etc

For me the sex of early marriage years is more of duty (women), self praising (men)
i agree 35 and above brings in a bit of exprience and confidence

Women mature sexual at above 35, mature i mean having confidence in what they want sexually than just waiting for hubby to initiate etc

Poverty can kill sex drive, if you are poor living hand to mouth sex is the last thing in your mind

Focus on your frustration pls

ahnie:

Most times you chip like a loose birdie,do you by any chance realised you re abusing someone's wife?

And for the records,pls stop stereotyping women.

Samantha124:
Maybe you used money to woo her, isn't that how you Nigerian guys woo ladies? By using money?

She might've fallen for it hoping that you're this romantic guy, only to find out that you're not.
B

Isn't money the only thing broke Nigerian women care about? Aren't they obsessed with it and always asking their boyfriends for handouts ?

ZIMDRILL:


from few studies marrying early has s bit disadvantage

usually you would be young doing things as duty/ as expected eg give him sex as long he wants it

while hubby is also busy doing it for rounds aka i do 5 rounds (beer talk with friends) instead do it satify the wive too

so eg girl get married at 20 the guy is 25

buy the time gets 30 she would have matured to understand her sexual needs and her body etc sex by then is nolonger duty but desire too and the 10 year would have built self confifence of sex desire etc

For me the sex of early marriage years is more of duty (women), self praising (men)
i agree 35 and above brings in a bit of exprience and confidence

Women mature sexual at above 35, mature i mean having confidence in what they want sexually than just waiting for hubby to initiate etc

Poverty can kill sex drive, if you are poor leaving hand to month sex is the last thing in your mind

Why would anyone marry a 30-35 year old woman? Okay she has sexually matured and weve romantically matured and realized that marriage is pointless. It's better to just date her and have fun chopping where were both sexually mature.