₦airaland Forum

MOVIC6:
I see Abit sense here but the whole work lies on the man and not the woman, same thing happened to my mum and like you said, she gave no listening ears to their nonsense, stayed on her own, did what she's meant to do and now she's the most successful inlaw, most educated, most sorted out inlaw and I'm proud of her.
The lady is not the problem but the family is, there's a bad family sometimes, there's a bad father or mother inlaw, there's a bad sister-in-law or brother-in-law, the woman ain't the problem

I have not said that the lady is the problem of the family neither have I said that the man is the problem

If you read carefully from the first post

They never wanted her

The whole family are just something else

Now they didn't greeted her when she had her first child

So does that family look like a family that value relationship, but for the sake of her happiness and her child

She has to relax, she has proved to them that she too she get her own

But for how long will the fighting competition continue

Meanwhile under all this mess, am sure it has affected her love life

By now she should be on her second or third pregnancy

But all this Bruhaha is affecting she and her husband

I didn't say she should go to her Inlaws to apologize

I said she should start calming down

What if her husband
whom we can see have no mind of his own decides to have a side chic to cool off temper amidst this drama and she becomes pregnant

His family will welcome the side chic with open arms to the detriment of the wife

Now tell me, who is going to be the worst hit

chimeremodlyn:
What kind of stupid advice is this? Didnt you read the whole story

You that is extremely very stupid

Why not start afresh and read the whole story to see where your stupidity started.

Because you lack wisdom to handle marital issues that involves mother, wife and sister. And who are dey dragging, the man

I usually support women who are being treated bad, I make sure I fight for them but that doesn't mind I should not pick points where necessary

ladej:
an eye for an eye makes the world go blind

Ok. Naw

Let them all go blind let peace reign

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

I empathize with you. However, you have entered already. I will never advice you to leave, but you must now get ready for real spiritual war! Be gentle, kind, loving and caring physically, but be brutal, fierce, violent and confrontational in prayers and on your knees.
Your husband is being controlled diabolically by your sister-in-law. A jezebel spirit is what you're dealing with. They cannot be reasoned with or argued with. Pray for/with your husband seriously. NEVER pray certain prayers directed towards your in-laws in the presence of your husband. Break the ungodly ties your husband has with them (this is not mere family bond), but destiny control and manipulation. Pray over your daughter always. There's a pattern already on ground, which energizes the spirit you are at war with. The goal is to kill you and make your daughter suffer in the hands of a stepmother, just like the way you did.
Please locate a serious prayer partner or/and a serious church. Stay strong SPIRITUALLY. Don't be too busy with job hunting and job matters. There's a "fight" you must do, so that in a worse case scenario, especially if your husband refuses to take God serious in his life, he goes for it, not you. You must be determined to break the pattern. Always pray against the spirit of death too. I am not just talking about attending church services and programmes. Go to where they truly pray and teach how to fight warfare, while living holy. May God help you.

Your husband does not have a mind of his own. Any where belle face and they know him

BrighterThanDay:
Sincerely I think I over-tolerated them from day one, I saw a family who never wanted their son to get married, because in their terms, they want to enjoy his money first. I wasn't the first he introduced to them, the first girl wasn't working and from all indications she'll be relying solely on him, so she was out rightly rejected. I later found out I was accepted by them due to my status, but they dreaded the fact that he was extremely in love with me and that's where the whole jealousy and envy started.
It doesn't make sense to me that I should be insulted by you consistently without provocation just because I'm getting married to your brother. My closest brother, my mom had just the 2 of us before she died and we're very close is also married. It has never crossed my mind to hate or disrespect his wife. I do call her to check on her and she does same. Why is my own case different?
Marriage from my side is very expensive but I pleaded with my dad to be considerate with them since my hubby wasn't gainfully employed then, my dad got angry and kept asking me why him?
I have supported him with all I've got. I never said my money is my money. So what exactly is their problem?
For a Christian family, I never expected this. I just wish I wasn't blinded by love from the onset. I sincerely regret my decision.

Sincerely, they re poverty stricken and there is nothing you can do about it.. it's well

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

My wife experienced this with me early in my Marriage. I am the Only Boy of my parents. I have 5 sisters. Imagine 3 of them ganging up with my mum against my wife! It was not funny. My Dad died during the first year of my marriage. My mum did not agree with my marrying my wife because of where she came from. But I stood my ground and never entertained any complaint about her, even though we had our own issues. I had to send my mum out of my house at a point. I stopped communication with my family. My actions were a little extreme but effective. Today, everyone is civil and understand their roles. I don't know who advised my mum, but she calmed down and accepted my wife.
My sisters also experienced my mum's wahala when they got married. So they now understand my positions on my mum's excesses.

Your husband needs to understand that right now, you and your daughter are his priorities. He should also try to broker the peace between you and his family. His biasness to you should be known to all. You made a mistake by resigning. But its not too late for you to look for a less demanding job. Your husband needs to man up.

I read every quote and I want to appreciate you all for your kind words, advice, and criticism. I brought my issue here, so it's all welcome. For those saying I'm acting innocent like this can't be the true story. Sincerely this is all that happened, I even mentioned how I do confront her calmly though whenever she insults me for no reason, that's to tell you I'm not a saint. My husband opened up to me that while we were courting and we had little disagreements he always informs his sister, which could be the reason why she hated me even before she met me. When he saw the harm it caused, it stopped. Because according to him, they weren't serious issues that could end our relationship. He also made the mistake of telling them about my background because his father asked. I want to believe that they saw me as a victim due to my story, with no one to protect me, so I was an easy target for humiliation. Good people don't think like this though.
Hubby is not a weakling and he always stands up for me firmly, but the consequences of his action are what he can't handle. They stop bullying me but totally isolate us from everything, no calls, visits, nothing! This makes my husband so sad and he blames me for it
I then encourage him to reach out for his happiness, but they then still try to interfere in our marriage indirectly. So it's like dancing around a cycle and it gets really frustrating and tiring.

xenten:
My wife experienced this with me early in my Marriage. I am the Only Boy of my parents. I have 5 sisters. Imagine 3 of them ganging up with my mum against my wife! It was not funny. My Dad died during the first year of my marriage. My mum did not agree with my marrying my wife because of where she came from. But I stood my ground and never entertained any complaint about her, even though we had our own issues. I had to send my mum out of my house at a point. I stopped communication with my family. My actions were a little extreme but effective. Today, everyone is civil and understand their roles. I don't know who advised my mum, but she calmed down and accepted my wife.
My sisters also experienced my mum's wahala when they got married. So they now understand my positions on my mum's excesses.

Your husband needs to understand that right now, you and your daughter are his priorities. He should also try to broker the peace between you and his family. His biasness to you should be known to all. You made a mistake by resigning. But its not too late for you to look for a less demanding job. Your husband needs to man up.

Hubby also did the same thing you did. He had to send his mom away from our house at a point. But mehn it was terrible, calls from everywhere, there was even a family meeting on this issue.

BrighterThanDay:
I read every quote and I want to appreciate you all for your kind words, advice, and criticism. I brought my issue here, so it's all welcome. For those saying I'm acting innocent like this can't be the true story. Sincerely this is all that happened, I even mentioned how I do confront her calmly though whenever she insults me for no reason, that's to tell you I'm not a saint. My husband opened up to me that while we were courting and we had little disagreements he always informs his sister, which could be the reason why she hated me even before she met me. When he saw the harm it caused, it stopped. Because according to him, they weren't serious issues that could end our relationship. He also made the mistake of telling them about my background because his father asked. I want to believe that they saw me as a victim due to my story, with no one to protect me, so I was an easy target for humiliation. Good people don't think like this though.
Hubby is not a weakling and he always stands up for me firmly, but the consequences of his action are what he can't handle. They stop bullying me but totally isolate us from everything, no calls, visits, nothing! This makes my husband so sad and he blames me for it
I then encourage him to reach out for his happiness, but they then still try to interfere in our marriage indirectly. So it's like dancing around a cycle and it gets really frustrating and tiring.

Let your husband ignore them. Push on building your life and future. When the time is right, they will come back. Don't hold back your lives because of them. Make your husband happy by supporting him. Pray for his family during your devotions time.

xenten:
Let your husband ignore them. Push on building your life and future. When the time is right, they will come back

I never wanted this, I was looking forward to taking his mom as the mother I never had.
God help us

Why people no get shame. Even parents reminded her that they have their eyes on their kid's money. Its like taking care of a kid is just a job you get pension from. They don't care about his happiness, only to get their cut. This woman don suffer.

Sorry to ask, is your husband a woman?

You for not resign your Job, rather find a way to improve in other for you not to be sack, as long the man your husband is not beating you

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

So sorry to hear this tho 🤲, can't even imagine the kind emotional damage and trauma this has caused to you...! But I just gotta few things to tell yo

1. No time is too late to make corrections
2.Make haste while the sun still shines
When a River gets dirty,it all started from the head of the River... I don't think you can ever please that family with what I have just read rn 💯...

Do what you have to do now (As far as is best for you and Ur mental health, it doesn't affect anybody)cuz they'll still blame you when you get doomed in this marriage ..!

I wish and pray you know the meaning of the things I just said 😢

BrighterThanDay:
Hubby also did the same thing you did. He had to send his mom away from our house at a point. But mehn it was terrible, calls from everywhere, there was even a family meeting on this issue.

I did not care until they realised their mistakes. My mum never tolerated my father's extended family. So I will never allow a third party to come into my home to dictate how I live. Tell your hubby to always fulfill his obligations to his mum no matter what. The other family members can get lost.

One sided story. All my comments are busy.
Women women women knowing fully well his monthly salary is not enough to Carter for the needs of the family, you still went ahead to resigned. To me o you haven't said the truth

BrighterThanDay:
I never wanted this, I was looking forward to taking his mom as the mother I never had.
God help us

Send her money and other gifts monthly. She will calm down eventually

zicoraads:
This is very sad to read. Considering you wrote this at 2 am even makes it sadder.

Sorry to say, but your husband is solely to blame. He is the one who allowed it to fester. I have elder sisters, 3 of them, and trust me, no single one of them can dare interfere in my affairs like this. None.

That said, I think you need to first get a job. Strive to get a well paying job, then sit your husband down and tell him you've had enough from his family members. If he refuses to demand that they respect you, then you have one choice only, leave the marriage. Serve him divorce papers and leave with your child. Let them have their son.

Forget about wanting a family and all, leave this one. God's plan for your happiness maybe totally different from what you have in mind.

Lmao divorce papers ontpop of in-law? Be like say you just wake up from sleep 😴

Juliearth:
She should leave because her in-laws do not like her? Whatever happened to "for better or worse"

Shey you Dey mind that one?

From her experience, her sister in-law, her mother in-law are given her trouble.

Why are some women like that? This is what women should be discussing in terms of marriage.

How not to make themselves a problem or trouble maker in their marriage, family and their children marital life?

I

Acidosis:
#1 error.



#2 error



Why do you have to include this part? A feeling of regret already? #3 error.



Hmmn....

She needs to remind everyone that she is hot, it is important in the story

98 percentage of Nigerian husbands seems to have lots of wahala

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

This is what happens when you marry a boy instead of a man.
Tell your so called husband to man up and stop acting like a boy.

frozen70:
I have not said thst the lady is the problem of the family neither have I said that the man is the problem

If you read carefully from the first post

They are never wanted her

The whole family are just something else

Now they never greeted her when she had her child

So does that family look like a family that value relationship but for the sahe of her happiness and her child

She has to relax, she has proved to them that she too she get her own

But for how long will the fighting competition continue

Meanwhile under all this mess, am sure it has affected her love life

By now she should be on her second or third pregnancy

But all this Bruhaha is affecting she and her husband

I didn't say she should go to her Inlaws to apologize

I said she should start calming down

What her husband whom we can see have no mind of his own decides to have a side chic to cool off temper amidst this drama and she becomes pregnant

His family will welcome the side chic with open arms to the detriment of the wife

Now tell me, who is the worst hit

You’re absolutely right honestly, this type of family, if I am the wife in question, I will prepare different types soups Oha and Ofensala, after eating it, so they can all die and let me and my husband be. The husband’s sister is obvious a witch and what is better than a small witch? Answer is a bigger witch.

stevups:
The destroyer of marriage is in-law

I swear

ChybuzzDD:
You seem to be giving excuses for this evidently weak husband.

How's it possible for your family members to send your wife out, and ''you will just be confused'' Nawaoo

If the guy had stood up like a man from the beginning when every family member was testing his/her 'superpower' status on his wife, things wouldn't have reached this ugly stage.

The guy didn't protect his wife/nuclear family enough and i must say that.

You are very correct.

Her husband even as a married man is still being controlled by his people. There's no way woman can find peace in her husband's house if the man is weak because you guys can plan together and in the next moment, his family will scatter the plan.

kwasoly:
[/b]This is what happens when you marry a boy instead of a man[b].
Tell your so called husband to man up and stop acting like a boy.

Exactly

frozen70:
Ok. Naw

Let them all go blind let peace reign

how will peace reign ?

I feel your frustrations. You need your husband's support to win. Go get another job, financial stability is one thing you can't do away with to have a good marriage. I believe you trust and love your husband. You live in the same house with him right? be closer to him than ever before. This way you will win him to yourself. That your sister in-law is only a distraction, ignore her and focus on your marriage. Winners never quit.

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

BrighterThanDay:
I read every quote and I want to appreciate you all for your kind words, advice, and criticism. I brought my issue here, so it's all welcome. For those saying I'm acting innocent like this can't be the true story. Sincerely this is all that happened, I even mentioned how I do confront her calmly though whenever she insults me for no reason, that's to tell you I'm not a saint. My husband opened up to me that while we were courting and we had little disagreements he always informs his sister, which could be the reason why she hated me even before she met me. When he saw the harm it caused, it stopped. Because according to him, they weren't serious issues that could end our relationship. He also made the mistake of telling them about my background because his father asked. I want to believe that they saw me as a victim due to my story, with no one to protect me, so I was an easy target for humiliation. Good people don't think like this though.
Hubby is not a weakling and he always stands up for me firmly, but the consequences of his action are what he can't handle. They stop bullying me but totally isolate us from everything, no calls, visits, nothing! This makes my husband so sad and he blames me for it
I then encourage him to reach out for his happiness, but they then still try to interfere in our marriage indirectly. So it's like dancing around a cycle and it gets really frustrating and tiring.

Even you don't want to hear the truth. You are fighting the truth when you are the one in trouble. I seriously don't know what you. I still put it to you that your husband is a weak man.

He exposed you to all the troubles and he alone can stop it. Sadly, he's not doing too well and may be taking help from his people so it's going to be hard for him to man up. Look, your man is the problem. He finds it very difficult to stand his ground when the need arises.

I will defend and protect my family first before anyone else. By the way, my nature of person won't even permit you to talk too much against me or my family. Who born you? Na you dey feed me? Damn it! Woman wey dey give me sweet pussy na im you wan come insult? You dey mad? No way! The sh!t I'm reading her can't happen in my house.

Go tell your husband to rise up and take charge. Let him put his family first. Whoever doesn't like that should fu*k off.

frozen70:
Having read what you posted, I feel the emotional pains you are going through

The only place am going to blame you was the in ability to tolerate them your in laws from day one

They gave you heat and you returned the heat without thinking twice if really you can face them all

You dont really understand their family settings and why all of them are interested in their son

As it is now, you are not a threat to them but they are all a threat to you and your peace in the marriage

You have already prove to them that you are equally as crazy as they are

I think at this point, you have to drop the war weapons and start calming down for them

Talk to your husband if you can, so that he will reconcile you and them, by organizing a good reconciliation meeting for that peace to reign in your marriage, in laws and your life

Once that is done, you will experience absolute peace of mind and you will now be free to relate with them and see them as your own family

Pls look into it so that you too can have peace of mind and your child will have a good sense of feelings with them

If they all decides to gang against you and send you out, your husband will just be confused but will still stand with them because he alone can't marry you

I can bet my balls you are not yet married, just shut the Bleep up