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Marriage Has Failed Me! - Family (8) - Nairaland

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My Husband Has Failed To Satisfy Me Sexually Despite Taking Concoctions / My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! / My Marriage Has Finally Ended (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by obaidan: 6:26pm On Apr 11, 2023
Looks like you really don't have direct issues with your husband as a person. It's unfortunate that his family are making life unbearable for you. You are left with no option than to focus on your life, your birth family, your husband(if he doesn't change) and your daughter.
Life is unfair, serves all of us some sort of not-so-beautiful experience. Just try to wade through yours with grace. If your husband ever turns against you, DO NOT HESITATE TO TAKE YOUR LEAVE..... let him chit chat with his sister, as long as he's being a good husband and father ...just look away.....and let's tell ourselves the truth blood is blood, to love our siblings is effortless, we are bound to see their shame as our shame and their glory as ours, the bond with our partners we are working hard to build and sustain.

Meanwhile, your story paints you very very good with little to no flaws or blame in the whole matter...I hope that's the true state of things....otherwise tell yourself the truth and do the needful.

1 Like

Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by eniolorunfe: 6:33pm On Apr 11, 2023
BrighterThanDay:


The truth is my husband is a good man. He chose me, I chose him, and we are happy together. Aside from the current financial issues and law problems we don't have any other problem.
He stood up for me countless times against his sister and asked her to leave me alone. But whenever he does this, the sister gets so mad and says I've come to scatter their family and she begins to report to elders, who now turn on my husband and ask him to draw his sister close as the father of the house after the demise of his father. If he doesn't oblige, he'll be totally isolated from the family, even if his mother is sick or God forbid dies, he won't be informed, nobody picks up his calls or when they answer they sound so cold. The worse part was when my daughter was born, aside my family, none of them congratulated him. This is what they use to get to him and it hurts him so bad, and he ends up blaming me. I hate seeing him in this mood and I'll always encourage him to go back to them. I'm sincerely tired of this vicious cycle, I don't know how long I can continue living like this. This his sister is married, but she doesn't want any of her brothers to be.

Don’t mind her, na jealousy dey worry am.

Get a job ASAP!!! You shouldn’t have resigned in the first place though. No dull o… a woman gats to be financially empowered 😎

1 Like

Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by akseph1: 6:35pm On Apr 11, 2023
My sis. Please result into prayers. That is the only thing I can say.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Ndubuisipaul1: 6:35pm On Apr 11, 2023
frozen70:


Having read what you posted, I feel the emotional pains you are going through

The only place am going to blame you was the in ability to tolerate them your in laws from day one

They gave you heat and you returned the heat without thinking twice if really you can face them all

You dont really understand their family settings and why all of them are interested in their son

As it is now, you are not a threat to them but they are all a threat to you and your peace in the marriage

You have already prove to them that you are equally as crazy as they are

I think at this point, you have to drop the war weapons and start calming down for them

Talk to your husband if you can, so that he will reconcile you and them, by organizing a good reconciliation meeting for that peace to reign in your marriage, in laws and your life

Once that is done, you will experience absolute peace of mind and you will now be free to relate with them and see them as your own family

Pls look into it so that you too can have peace of mind and your child will have a good sense of feelings with them

If they all decides to gang against you and send you out, your husband will just be confused but will still stand with them because he alone can't marry you

I disagree with you 100% . No woman has the right to interfer with her brothers marriage. She is a devil .

You just blamed this innocent woman without pointing out that her husband sister is maaad
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Sweetvie: 6:35pm On Apr 11, 2023
stevups:
You are not intelligent at all. Marriage is not a bed of Rosy. If you are not expecting challenges in marriage, you are not ready yet.
Yeah.
Marriage is not a bed of roses but you'll be surprise how frustrated it can be when your in-laws are against you. Abeg, no woman can keep up with that, you think it's easy to be an outcast in a family you call your own? Even the husband is weak, his presence in the family is not strong enough.
If the problems is only based on argument/insult it's still better, you'll surprise to what extent some family can go to make the husband divorce the wife.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by falcon01: 6:35pm On Apr 11, 2023
Blackbishop:


And here goes the talking drum without thinking
Talk! You can just say shit about my comment and not Elaborate
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by falcon01: 6:36pm On Apr 11, 2023
MOVIC6:


Single and be doing what, fornicating and 159 people clicked on the like button.
Doesn't matter what they do as long as they are happy! And if you find happiness in marriage good for you!
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Ndubuisipaul1: 6:36pm On Apr 11, 2023
BrighterThanDay:


Sincerely I think I over-tolerated them from day one, I saw a family who never wanted their son to get married, because in their terms, they want to enjoy his money first. I wasn't the first he introduced to them, the first girl wasn't working and from all indications she'll be relying solely on him, so she was out rightly rejected. I later found out I was accepted by them due to my status, but they dreaded the fact that he was extremely in love with me and that's where the whole jealousy and envy started.
It doesn't make sense to me that I should be insulted by you consistently without provocation just because I'm getting married to your brother. My closest brother, my mom had just the 2 of us before she died and we're very close is also married. It has never crossed my mind to hate or disrespect his wife. I do call her to check on her and she does same. Why is my own case different?
Marriage from my side is very expensive but I pleaded with my dad to be considerate with them since my hubby wasn't gainfully employed then, my dad got angry and kept asking me why him?
I have supported him with all I've got. I never said my money is my money. So what exactly is their problem?
For a Christian family, I never expected this. I just wish I wasn't blinded by love from the onset. I sincerely regret my decision.

My dear you did nothing wrong
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by buygala(m): 6:42pm On Apr 11, 2023
BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

I am surprised no one has raised the issue of how you intend to cope with such in-laws if something were to happen to your husband


I shiver thinking of what will happen if your husband is dead or incapacitated and you are left in the hands of such in-laws..

. Sister, first off, get rock-solid family planning and lock up on any further kids..

2ndly rebuild your career and personal finances, regardless of what your husband says.. He appears to be the kind that talks a lot but doesn't walk the talk.. Money will give you a feasible exit strategy, if push comes to shove.. In any case, push has already gotten to shove in your case

3rdly, consider how these inlaws will treat your child if something were to happen to you.. Your husband clearly lacks the balls to stand up for himself, much less anyone else.


Start planning your exit from that marriage for the sake of your young child.. Better she is raised in peace by a single parent than raised in a toxic father and mother environment.. No be love you go chop..


If your husband feels so attached to his family, why did he bother marrying you in the 1st place? ..he should have stayed in his family and probably procreate with his sisters..

I repeat, start developing an exit strategy before these people run you mad or for your daughter... You are already being battered emotionally in that house...Thinking you can weather it is the height of self deception.. A marriage is nothing without peace
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by goshen26: 6:43pm On Apr 11, 2023
BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.


If hubby has not physically abuse you, then this time (extended family issue) shall pass.

You only need to increase your prayer for your home. You see those saying being single is good they won't tell you the difficulty that come with it because they were deceived into leaving the home and they are regretting it. They want to recruit more persons into single after marriage.


Check those female celebrities that form the leadership of "single after marriage" they are returning to marriage, even if it will cost them conversion of religion. They miss marriage


Being single is good if you have not being married before...


If your hubby is not having issue wit u ur matter is small. The current issue is like a mirage and it will fade away
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by TenQ: 6:57pm On Apr 11, 2023
BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.


.,.....
I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

From the look of things, your husband is not your problem. Why destroy your marriage with him over this.

1. Develop some thick skin for your in-laws. First rule, smile, kneel and leave

2. Bond with your husband. You need his cooperation to win this war

3. Some in-laws are toxic,: minimise contact

4. Work on your finances: pepper them with small gifts. It works like mad.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by simplesearch: 7:00pm On Apr 11, 2023
You ignore the terrible red flag from the beginning, which was so conspicuous and apparent. Since you lack the spiritual capacity to deal with such a sadistic monster of a sister in law, your best bet would have been to walk out when it was spiritually acceptable to do so, but now; too late, cos even if you walk out you can't remarry or involve in any form of emotional relationship, it will further debase you.
You also allow yourself to be manipulated to resign you lucrative job because you lack spiritual stamina and your smartness couldn't come through for you. This is why we keep telling all this gen z's to get serious with God, but most of you like play religion thinking education is enough, now you both are back to level zero.
The only solution is not to contemplate divorce or be bitter, but rather make your ways right with God. Thereafter seek him with fasting and prayers, you will soon laugh again if you do!
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by bukatyne(f): 7:04pm On Apr 11, 2023
2mch:
If possible, record her when she is misbehaving and anonymously forward to her own in-laws. When she is busy fighting her own battle, she won’t have time for you. Nobody should disrupt your own home and have peace in theirs.

cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Josephkabila12: 7:09pm On Apr 11, 2023
BrighterThanDay:


The truth is my husband is a good man. He chose me, I chose him, and we are happy together. Aside from the current financial issues and law problems we don't have any other problem.
He stood up for me countless times against his sister and asked her to leave me alone. But whenever he does this, the sister gets so mad and says I've come to scatter their family and she begins to report to elders, who now turn on my husband and ask him to draw his sister close as the father of the house after the demise of his father. If he doesn't oblige, he'll be totally isolated from the family, even if his mother is sick or God forbid dies, he won't be informed, nobody picks up his calls or when they answer they sound so cold. The worse part was when my daughter was born, aside my family, none of them congratulated him. This is what they use to get to him and it hurts him so bad, and he ends up blaming me. I hate seeing him in this mood and I'll always encourage him to go back to them. I'm sincerely tired of this vicious cycle, I don't know how long I can continue living like this. This his sister is married, but she doesn't want any of her brothers to be.
That his sister is a strong witch, just ignore her. Get another job and form strong bond with ur husband. U, ur husband and ur daughter will be fine by the grace of God.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by lilachiever(m): 7:09pm On Apr 11, 2023
My sister dare not meddle in my marriage. I'll disown her first.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Josephkabila12: 7:13pm On Apr 11, 2023
BrighterThanDay:


Thank you for the advice. I'm in the process of getting another job, though not as high paying as the previous one.
You are right, I saw the red flags from the onset, I have never really been in a lot of relationships, and just as someone pointed out here, I think I'm also suffering from inexperience and the lack of a mother to guide me.
I really wanted to have a happy home, void of pretense and undue tension. Just pure honesty and true love. But I guess not everyone gets what they wish for. I'm smart and hardworking. I'll build my career again and console myself with my daughter. I'll let him do whatever he chooses with his family and not let it get to me. But I won't take any of their insults because I don't deserve them. I don't want my daughter to grow up without both parents. I'll try to stay for her sake, but for my sanity and happiness, I won't give it my all.
don't allow that witchcraft woman to take ur happiness, ignore her and face ur husband
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by VTJN(m): 7:18pm On Apr 11, 2023
frozen70:


Until you get married then you will understand why men gets confused when it comes to the two women in their life

Mother and wife

As you are boasting that your family can't just come into your life in your marriage because you will deal with them

What if your wife decides to deal with you, knowing that you have already placed your parents and sibblings not to be ear your home?

So who will you invite

You think marriage is audio talk ?
Lol

Only foolish and sissy men will put up with such kind of women. Even if the woman uses juju it won't work on me. None of my father's family interfere in my father and mother marriage till date. Do you know why? My father is a no nonesense man and my mother isn't a foolish woman that tolerate shit from husband family

Provided no one is feeding your family. They won't even dare look my wife in the face. Reason why I'm not looking for a woman who can cook or do house chores. But a smart and sensible woman.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Gloriagee(f): 7:21pm On Apr 11, 2023
Your wife sef go give em

Kingsize4eva:
You are married to a woman and not a man. You dare not speak Ill of my wife in my presence.
Fight my wife and watch me destroy you no matter who you are.

I am the first born with 4 sisters who are happily married, am Igbo but my wife is Ijaw, quote me if you know the fight involved in marrying a non tribe.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by stevups(m): 7:21pm On Apr 11, 2023
Sweetvie:
Yeah.
Marriage is not a bed of roses but you'll be surprise how frustrated it can be when your in-laws are against you. Abeg, no woman can keep up with that, you think it's easy to be an outcast in a family you call your own? Even the husband is weak, his presence in the family is not strong enough.
If the problems is only based on argument/insult it's still better, you'll surprise to what extent some family can go to make the husband divorce the wife.

I got you. You were correct. But she should face it. Could you believe that the challenges facing marriage are countless? It's a test of the stage. It is expected of that period. After 2years, you will come and give testimony if you stay strong and prayerfully. When I got married, I love my wife and she loves me, but when challenge of marriage came she turned to a shit at least to me. When she looks at me, I was like a refuse. To God be the glory we both escaped that period, we are back on our feet. My friend, could not bear it he has gotten married to another lady, meanwhile he has children. But let me tell you, his case might be revisited, although I don't pray for such to happen to him again. Can I tell you a good news? This period she is facing is called a real Adulthood. Everyone will face it. Davido is a rich boy, he has faced alot. Please let us wait, that condition is, but for a moment.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Princessdainty(m): 7:25pm On Apr 11, 2023
Marriage is not a rehabilitation or Women empowerment program.

Y'all be doing it wrong.
Don't marry if you can't stand up for yourself.
Financial and everything adult wise.

Divorce is not an option!!!
Arrange your home, get back to work... You have no excuse not to make your own money.

If you have money,nobody can disrespect you.
Dust your ass, stop whining and get busy with your life.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by stevups(m): 7:36pm On Apr 11, 2023
frozen70:


If you read my post again, you will see where I wrote that the man is confused

Secondly I also wrote that she doesn't know the family settings before she cane to the family and she doesn't know why all the family members are dragging her husband

That man has so much affection with his parents and siblings

It will take the grace of God to make him face his wife and daughter not by fighting or quarreling

I did not support her husband for his attitude but I read where she said that her husband protected her when the sister said she has to go

She should just cool down to gain her husband not by gragra


You are a great psychologist. That's a fact!
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by stevups(m): 7:37pm On Apr 11, 2023
Gloriagee:
Your wife sef go give em


Don't fight too much because of a woman.women are swords
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by Sweetvie: 7:38pm On Apr 11, 2023
stevups:


I got you. You were correct. But she should face it. Could you believe that the challenges facing marriage are countless? It's a test of the stage. It is expected of that period. After 2years, you will come and give testimony if you stay strong and prayerfully. When I got married, I love my wife and she loves me, but when challenge of marriage came she turned to a shit at least to me. When she looks at me, I was like a refuse. To God be the glory we both escaped that period, we are back on our feet. My friend, could not bear it he has gotten married to another lady, meanwhile he has children. But let me tell you, his case might be revisited, although I don't pray for such to happen to him again. Can I tell you a good news? This period she is facing is called a real Adulthood. Everyone will face it. Davido is a rich boy, he has faced alot. Please let us wait, that condition is, but for a moment.
True tho'
Just that in-laws wahala are endless.
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by pansophist(m): 7:45pm On Apr 11, 2023
If you think strong men are the problem, sit back and see what weak men are capable off. Your husband is a very weak man, and honestly this have nothing to do with his wallet.

If he made it clear like NATO, that an attack on you, his wife is also an attack on him, and enforce consequences to that effect, things would not go this bad.

My father's side for example do not like my mum. Their beef is that my father should have married within the community, and he went astray to marry a stranger, in their own words. These people are not my father's extended relatives, but siblings.

Does my father care? Of course not. Does their aggression affect my mum in any ways? Of course not. Will they dare insult my mum or make us his children feel bad? Then prepare to face his anger. He will fork you up. He is known for that.

And now that we the kids have grown to be older and independent, it becomes clear that an evil mouth will sing word of praises to you later. We will continue from where our father stopped and if you mess with our mum, we will fork you up.

Of course all the aggression have decreased to nothingness over time, probably because it's decades and we are all adults, but the fact stands that you don't let idiots win. If they hate you, they should keep it to themselves.

I just have to go personal, because I know this place very well. It's sad you have to suffer for no reason, due to the ignorance of others. But your husband can single handedly end this. It's his job. I wish you well sister.

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Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by stevups(m): 7:51pm On Apr 11, 2023
Sweetvie:
True tho'
Just that in-laws wahala are endless.

You are 💯 correct. Could you believe I was almost arrested my in-laws with police? I would have scattered the whole thing with my hand. That same day I was planning such, everything just turned around and we were back on our feet. It was like miracle.

1 Like

Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by stevups(m): 7:54pm On Apr 11, 2023
Sweetvie:
True tho'
Just that in-laws wahala are endless.

The destroyer of marriage is in-law

1 Like

Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by MOVIC6: 7:56pm On Apr 11, 2023
falcon01:
Doesn't matter what they do as long as they are happy! And if you find happiness in marriage good for you!

I see you ain't a Christian cos if conji hollam for one month, she will hear word by forve
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by frozen70(f): 7:56pm On Apr 11, 2023
stevups:



You are a great psychologist. That's a fact!

Waooo
What an appraisal
Thanks dear
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by frozen70(f): 8:02pm On Apr 11, 2023
Ndubuisipaul1:


I disagree with you 100% . No woman has the right to interfer with her brothers marriage. She is a devil .

You just blamed this innocent woman without pointing out that her husband sister is maaad

Pray not to meet crazy in laws

You are a man and may not understand

I never said I blame her in all my mentions

But I said she should cool down

She is the one all this madness is affecting and she is the one in question

Whats wrong if she hands down at this point

Will you ever use fuel to quench fire or water

To what end is all these for gid sake

If that man is no more, she will go back to her father's house

Is that one better

Do you think her husband is happy with the whole situation

Anyway it's her cross
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by frozen70(f): 8:03pm On Apr 11, 2023
randymirrors:


No ma. I don't take nonsense, that's my personality, everyone around me knows it. I can't pretend or change and don't plan to. No in-law can try to maltreat me cos I give people the exact treatment they give to me.

Maybe it's because of the experience my mum had with her sister in-law and mother inlaw. They both showed her shege and till today, I always regret that I was too little to understand or defend her.

I also know that all the maltreatments my mum got was due to her quiet personality. She doesn't know how to fight and is very humble.

One thing I always tell myself is that, I'll never go through what my mum went through.

I've always been the one to protect my siblings against threats (perceived or real). By nature, I'm bold. I'm fearless. I walk alone on lone roads at night, close to midnight and leave home by 4am without looking over my shoulders. Now tell me, do I look like someone that can't handle 10 witches disguising as sister In-laws at a time?

Well till then
Re: Marriage Has Failed Me! by yongg: 8:05pm On Apr 11, 2023
They have not given birth to whatever human sibling to so disrespect a partner beloved that I have chosen in this manner.

I'm boiling just reading this.

Even all outer onion will feel my presence. Nonsense.

Your relationship to your husband is what is important because it is through him they would/should get access to you.

I cannot speak for your husband but after telling his sister off, standing his ground on the least amount of respect to be accorded to his spouse, I felt he should have had no problem limiting their interference in marriage trying to pursue his already married wife.

Talk to your husband about what bothers you when any confrontation happens, don't nag, just talk or discuss about it maturely.

You say your husband blames you for her behavior sometimes, I would like to know what the blames sounds like apart from the text you sent them during the mourning.

Restore your job, I understand the mental toll and stress your must have suffered during the time but loosing an income source should be one of the last things to do when in a situation like this.

This is because your backup plan should things go awry will depend on building some back up income and savings as a safety bracket should such shenanigans you already witnessed replay or increase in future when you might be older and more frail. They have shown their hand, keep your peaceful demeanor while prepping your backup simultaneously.

Look, not to be pessimistic but, you have to hope for the best BUT ALWAYS prepare for the worst.

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