I had to create a new account specifically for this post.

Today makes it 7 months my left with my kid.

I married my wife in feb 2021 in a low key ceremony.I have known my wife for years before get married to her as we lived in same compound.She is from Imo and I am from Enugu state.She is 23 and i am 26

We have a daughter together.Trouble began about 7 months after my daughter was born,my wife always complained i dont give her enough money for upkeep.I work as a security guard for a company earning 75k monthly.Out of that 75k,I remit 40k to her monthly for upkeep.She is a school teacher but i don't really know how much she earns.

Given the situation of things in the country,I know she may be right when she says the money i give her isn't enough but i am genuinely trying my best.it hasn't been easy.

Asides from her nagging about upkeep money,my wife is a good woman.She cooks and takes good care of our daughter.

Things got worse when the company i was working for folded up.I think the owner got involved in some shady deals and the company building and assests were confiscated.I was without a job for some time and we were surviving on my savings and and some menial jobs i was getting.

Times were hard.I opened up to my wife that i want to learn cctv And solar panel installation.I viewed this as a good skill to learn and have.I enrolled and i am an apprentice now learning alongside some other boys.

My wife couldn't bear any longer and she left with our kid without informing me.I have called her mom to beg.She said she will talk to her.I don't even know where she is though i heard she stays with her aunty.

I have begged her to return home to no avail.The issue is affecting me emotionally and mentally.I mean i'm already having a hard time trying to learn this skill,why should my wife add to it?

I really need the encouragement and warmth of my wife especially now i haven't been feeling fine for some time

you just have to concentrate and learn the job so you can be useful to yourself and family.
hustle so that when she returns you can also add another wife incase one goes the other one will remain

Taking notes.

Money go, woman go. When I was warning you guys in my post that a woman needs to be taken care of if you want your marriage to last, some empty skull said I too like men matter. Now see.

This skill is what you ought to have learnt first, then build your financial security before talking about marriage but You men like putting the cart before the horse.

Number 2, marriage is not for children. Forget the general opinion that it's better to marry a younger girl. mature ladies are still far better in terms of managing hard times and handling tough situations unlike your 23 yr old who has not been through lifes hurdles or surmounted challenges on her own. Prolly she just moved in with you from her parents house where everything is being done for her.

As long as you're still broke and can't meet her needs yet, no amount of begging will make her come back cos that was why she left in the first place.

Focus and complete your skill training. Make sure you learn it very well and start sourcing for jobs.. Also keep looking for a regular job to sustain in the meantime. Forget about her but try to send upkeep for your child

If you hammer tomorrow, look for a mature lady and marry.

All this 20 yr old ladies without tangible source of income rushing into marriage with average Nigerian guys, I pity all of you. You people think marriage is childs play. Make una dey play.

Find menial jobs and be doing.


You can look for hotels or large scale restaurants and apply for work as a bartender or a waiter.


If you've a car , use it and do Uber.

This is not the right time to learn how to install solar panels and CCTV.

Now this is the time you be a man and take full responsibility of your family.

Klass99:


But I thought you people said you are logical and not emotional, and women bring nothing to the table except sex?

Again, I mean no offence to you I couldn't help myself . You will be alright OP, in fact all of una go dey alright las las.

Not for jokes please

Softbby123:
Find menial jobs and be doing.


You can look for hotels or large scale restaurants and apply for work as a bartender or a waiter.


If you've a car , use it and do Uber.

This is not the right time to learn how to install solar panels and CCTV.

Now this is the time you be a man and take full responsibility of your family.

Ok

U created a new account to appear innocent.

U were earning 75k and u went and married and u think she wouldn't run like Ben Johnson.

U should have saved money and invest it to provide u with a passive income but na marriage u follow.

I don't think u love yourself,if u really do,u would not marry a woman whose income u do not know.

Na only u enter that marriage...and that is why u are begging ur mother in law and also begging your wife.

Advice:
Start earning income and see ur wife come with full force.

Pls,in ur next life,do not marry semi liability as a wife and for women out there,do not settle for a man who can't take care of u.

U can abuse me i don't care but let us join hands in reducing poverty in our land.

Marriage needs money and without it,na trouble u dey look for.

Wish u the best in all u do.

Nice2023:
U created a new account to appear innocent.

U were earning 75k and u went and married and u think she wouldn't run like Ben Johnson.

U should saved money and invest it to provide u with a passive income but na marriage u follow.

I don't think u love yourself,if u really do,u would not marry a woman whose income u do not know.

Na only u enter that marriage...and that is why u are begging ur mother in law and also begging your wife.

Advice:
Start earning income and see ur wife come with full force.

Pls,in ur next life,do not marry semi liability as a wife and for women out there,do not settle for a man who can't take care of u.

U can abuse me i don't care but let us join hands in reducing poverty in our land.

Marriage needs money and without it,na trouble u dey look for.

Wish u the best in all u do.

Ok

You were earning 75,000 naira and normally give her 40,000 naira for upkeep.

She works too as a private school teacher but you don't know how much she earns which means she didn't tell you and hence not even open about her finances and she has mind to be angry at you who is open about your finances and giving a moderate sum to the home considering your earning power!

You were not miss using the rest of your funds as you saved a part of it and probably used some to meet your personal effects and transportation fares.

You have not done anything wrong but next time maybe you can be more open by clarifying what your remaining funds is meant for and also demand to know her financial status.

Again, she realizing that after the lost of your job, your savings came in handy should have made her to respect and regard your stand and opinions if she actually loves you.

But for now, focus on yourself, finish your skill acquisition, launch a career on the acquired skills and work at it to regain your lost time and finances. After which, you can decide if you still want her or someone else.

A teaser--- "What if she is with another man right now"?

Stevenbright:
You were earning 75,000 naira and normally give her 40,000 naira for upkeep.

She works too as a private school teacher but you don't know how much she earns which means she didn't tell you and hence not even open about her finances and she has mind to be angry at you who is open about your finances and giving a moderate sum to the home considering your earning power!

You were not miss using the rest of your funds as you saved a part of it and probably used some to meet your personal effects and transportation fares.

You have not done anything wrong but next time maybe you can be more open by clarifying what your remaining funds is meant for and also demand to know her financial status.

Again, she realizing that after the lost of your job, your savings came in handy should have made her to respect and regard your stand and opinions if she actually loves you.

But for now, focus on yourself, finish your skill acquisition, launch a career on the acquired skills and work at it to regain your lost time and finances. After which, you can decide if you still want her or someone else.

A teaser--- "What if she is with another man right now"?

With another man? Hmmm

GeorgeForeman:
I had to create a new account specifically for this post.

Today makes it 7 months my left with my kid.

I married my wife in feb 2021 in a low key ceremony.I have known my wife for years before get married to her as we lived in same compound.She is from Imo and I am from Enugu state.She is 23 and i am 26

We have a daughter together.Trouble began about 7 months after my daughter was born,my wife always complained i dont give her enough money for upkeep.I work as a security guard for a company earning 75k monthly.Out of that 75k,I remit 40k to her monthly for upkeep.She is a school teacher but i don't really know how much she earns.

Given the situation of things in the country,I know she may be right when she says the money i give her isn't enough but i am genuinely trying my best.it hasn't been easy.

Asides from her nagging about upkeep money,my wife is a good woman.She cooks and takes good care of our daughter.

Things got worse when the company i was working for folded up.I think the owner got involved in some shady deals and the company building and assests were confiscated.I was without a job for some time and we were surviving on my savings and and some menial jobs i was getting.

Times were hard.I opened up to my wife that i want to learn cctv And solar panel installation.I viewed this as a good skill to learn and have.I enrolled and i am an apprentice now learning alongside some other boys.

My wife couldn't bear any longer and she left with our kid without informing me.I have called her mom to beg.She said she will talk to her.I don't even know where she is though i heard she stays with her aunty.

I have begged her to return home to no avail.The issue is affecting me emotionally and mentally.I mean i'm already having a hard time trying to learn this skill,why should my wife add to it?

I really need the encouragement and warmth of my wife especially now i haven't been feeling fine for some time

As it is now, three things are making you sick

Loneliness
Absence or wife and child
Lack of money

You know what, you just have to keep calling to say hello to them and assure them that everything will be fine

Concerntrate on the job you are learning so that you don't come out half baked

By the time you find your bearings, you can look for you family and bring them home

You barely feed, so why do you want to bring them back and end up not providing for them

You rushed into marriage at a very early age, when you don't have family's to support you

Learn from that mistake pls

Relax she will not marry another man without her family informing you

Just keep calling, even if they don't pick your calls or communicate with you

To avoid any one blaming you for not reaching out to them

Since you've asked (and begged) her to come back and she has refused, then ignore her.

Make the most of the freedom that you've been given to focus on and build yourself.
Don't be too needy.
Preserve your dignity.

When she's had enough of her vacation , she'll come back.
If not, good riddance.

frozen70:


As it is now, three things are making you sick

Loneliness
Absence or wife and child
Lack of money

You know what, you just have to keep calling to say hello to them and assure them that everything will be fine

Concerntrate on the job you are learning so that you don't come out half baked

By the time you find your bearings, you can look for you family and bring them home

You barely feed, so why do you want to bring them back and end up not providing for them

You rushed into marriage at a very early age, when you don't have family's to support you

Learn from that mistake pls

Relax she will not marry another man without her family informing you

Just keep calling, even if they don't pick your calls or communicate with you

To avoid any one blaming you for not reaching out to them

Ok

Every Nairaland thread keeps proving the uselessness of marriage.

When the chips are down, the institution falls. Not worth sacrificing for TBH.

Klass99:
No offence to you OP but every time I see - I had to create a new account for this post, I suspect a redpiller who has been vile on these streets, bashing and insulting other users, is usually behind the new account created. The fear of getting a dose of their own medicine won't allow them post with their main account.

My condolences for what you are going through. This too shall pass! I think you should focus more on recovery right now and reconciliation later on, when you are reasonably back on your feet. If they come home now, do you have the means to feed both of them? Perhaps in her aunty's house feeding is not a problem so think about that.

Shut up

Klass99:


But I thought you people said you are logical and not emotional, and women bring nothing to the table except sex?

Again, I mean no offence to you I couldn't help myself . You will be alright OP, in fact all of una go dey alright las las.

Shut up . It's his daughter that's affecting him

What does the last chat says? Anyone to translate?

Op don't be angry but seriously your wife is very selfish,you were giving her 40k per month, she wants to say she doesn't have savings right plus her salary, with just one child haba now wetin she dey buy every month...why didn't you encourage her to get a trade before so she would be helpful right now.

There is no marriage without pain, endurance and patience makes it work, besides you are both still young, have you tried paramilitary work? The only thing right now is your daughter your wife probably has someone else right now I am not really sure cos if her family was so good, they would assist her with something that would help the both of you... their silence is encouraging her money isn't everything maybe she was sending little money to them, since you are okay with security work then try military now it might favour you, it's just to see money to train your girl,a female child needs protection and besides the world is very wicked...talk to your family members right now it's about you and not your wife, make yourself work and better things would come your way. I pray God help you, Amen.

Klass99:


But I thought you people said you are logical and not emotional, and women bring nothing to the table except sex?

Again, I mean no offence to you I couldn't help myself . You will be alright OP, in fact all of una go dey alright las las.

If you have nothing other than criticisms to offer him, can't you just get out

Acquire the skills first, start making money, nobody go tell her to come back to you!

GeorgeForeman:
I have begged her to return home to no avail.The issue is affecting me emotionally and mentally.I mean i'm already having a hard time trying to learn this skill,why should my wife add to it? I really need the encouragement and warmth of my wife especially now i haven't been feeling fine for some time

It seems the best you can do is work towards resolving the poverty issue first. So, get working and also don't forget to send support at least once a month to help your wife take care of your kid. When you are back on your feet again, maybe you can go back and ask her back again and she might change her mind.

mariahAngel:
Since you've asked (and begged) her to come back and she has refused, then ignore her.

Make the most of the freedom that you've been given to focus on and build yourself.
Don't be too needy.
Preserve your dignity.

When she's had enough of her vacation , she'll come back.
If not, good riddance.

You dey advise who conji hold..🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It is same as advising a woman in love.

A buhari/Tinubu supporter.

Or Nwoke ji cash...

Self developement is key to sustainable wealth/income.

Hmmmm....it doesn't sound true that she left all because money is tight in the house. Too fair weather for comfort!

Well, if indeed that's why she left and you dont mind that betrayer but still want her back, the best course of action is to concentrate on your apprenticeship, finish, start working and making money before then asking her to come back. After all, there is still no money, aunty will still run even if she comes back. Very funny marriage

Have a little more patience

Hmmn.

You people will marry without knowing each other's income. How then will you be able to plan for your home?

If she doesn't have a job, it's understandable but the woman is working. What is she using her own money for that she can't hold the forth till you're back on your feet?

You married too young self. Time you should have used to develop yourself in a good career, you run use that time go marry.

Does she not have a family? Hasn't anyone from her family reached out to you to find out why your wife left?