₦airaland Forum

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

Let me tell you at 40 you have a wife and two kids and you are not grateful infact there are people who don't have jobs at 40 not to talk of wife and two kids think about that at least you a family man , thank God for that

First be grateful to God for your current situation as millions wants to be where you're. Then seek on how you can improve from where you're to the point you want to be without loosing focus. All along the way always be grateful.

When we were kids we all had pictures of red Ferraris on our bedroom walls, today we drive Toyotas and Hondas.
If you know you know.
I feel you brother.

I'm in same situation, a man is slowed down when he is married and has kids

SmartyPants:
Well for you I think it may be too late - you may need to adjust your dreams a little.

But I think this thread should be a warning to the unmarried - don't rush into marriage. Before you do, you need to work and build up to the stage where marriage will help you develop your dreams, not hinder them.

2 years ago, a colleague from the university who had gotten married looked me in the eye and said Smarty don't do it! - until you've accomplished your self development dreams otherwise marriage may become a trap.

Get that master's first. Build that side business first. Buy that car first. if within reach, build that house first. And not getting married early doesn't mean running around with women either.

Thanks boss for this piece , it's as if you are talking to me directly

tensazangetsu20:
I think you are doing okay. You are feeding your family so be very grateful as many Nigerian families can't feed.

if the only the u r doing as a man is feeding u r not doing well.

spiralwedge:
You are experiencing mid-life crisis and this is just the start of it. It will take years before you can come out of it, some don’t (either or alive or kpai)

To win this, you need to be as realistic as possible all the time. Your post shows you are in the first stage - that is accepting what it is and coming out of childish fantasy about life.
You will go through many processes. One of such is truly pursuing what makes you happy by leaving all life’s attachments- sometimes marriage, toxic family and even career. Environment too.
You will assess what you can truly and practically achieve and you will go for it damning the shame that you once wouldn’t consider. You will be more specific about your life choices, partners, nutrition, fun etc.
Even your outlook would be more permanent… your facial look, grooming, fashion sense etc.

In summary,
You are resigning to fate, but you are going for what you are capable of doing to make you happy without minding the consequences any longer. It is at this point you are burying your regrets and leveraging on them to be a better version.

God bless you for this. So apt!

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

Sorry Mr man. The greatest undoing for young Nigerians is going to the university to waste their precious time and come out to be paid peanut as salary.
Now, the way out is to learn a very lucrative skills and quit that stupid thing you call a job, once you are settled in your new skills.
I wish many young Nigerians will stop wasting their time going to school and start learning skills early.
Unless you go for medical doctor, I see no reason going to the university in Nigeria.
Sorry, be focused don’t give up

timsucess:
How

Because USA treats HND as same as BSc for academic purposes. All you need to get into a PhD often times is a BSc.

Deprofessional:
You see people with this kind of advice, avoid them at all costs.

Unfortunately, ignorant ones like you are the ones to be avoided. I have a PhD and I know many who has HND and were admitted into PhD programs fully funded. Besides in my case, I have both HND and BSc and both were considered for my admission because my HND gave me the Math requirement I needed for my program. I would have thought someone with a username like yours would act in line with your username alas, you are just an opposite of what you claim you are.

That said, if he avoids me; that is his choice. I only gave him a suggestion that would help him achieve his dreams and here on Nairaland, the information abound.

[quote author=dawnomike post=122723474]I am glad you came to the realization of this, but it is better late than never
Solution: Seek for other sources of income maybe online or a tangible side hustle.

What does your wife do for a living?

Also, seek to join co-operative societies where you can dave and later borrow money to buy the car you want for Uber.

Express all these to your wufe as well so that you both can make your goals a family project to strive at.

Above all, no matter what happens, do not impregnate your wife with a baby for now... Cheers sir

OP thank this guy and go with this advice. God bless you sir. I'm going to personally learn from this advice

Bruh look for what to be buying and selling between cities, look for where some items are cheap to buy and where you can add something extra elsewhere start little buy little,the horizon will become clearer with time, also check your circle of friends it’s very key move with those will the ideas and drive,it is easy to plan but to action is where the problem is and ironically that’s where the success is also.self determination not wishful thinking.You can’t tell how far you will go until you start.so start today.
Goodluck!

Seeing a lot of persons advicing him not to give birth again. While some were asking why he decided to get marry early. I believe that children are blessings.

Most seems to forget that not marrying early doesn't means that the funds would have been expended on anything productive.

The young man is confused, scared and most likely facing mid-life crises.

I would encourage you to perish the thoughts of comparing yourself with your mates.

In addition,I would advise you peruse DEEPLY the messages/posts on this your page made by the following persons: @spiralwedge ;@VCMoneyInsights;@Davidsol;@hollamie;@ayandee;@Oluwomonext212;@Lionize and finally read the post by @obaidan.

Wishing you all the best.

*sigh* Nigeria will just be happening to hard working folks anyhow.

1. Get a second hustle, maybe higher purchase for Uber but that may affect your work hours.

2. Don't impregnate your wife, not even by mistake PLEASE.

3. Keep your japa hopes alive. Your wife should get necessary training try for care giver visa in uk or Canada.

4. If your sister is an adult she should start supporting herself pls. Even if it's to sell pant and bra or groundnut!

im in the same shituation as you.

a lot of unrealized dreams. only difference btw us is that im single and childless.

VCMoneyInsights:
Life is hard. Here in Naija . And everywhere else (forget the snow stories and pretend affluence).

You must work hard to get anywhere if you don’t inherit or fraudulently acquire wealth.

No one will hand you the life you dreamt of because you’re depressed, burdened with family, or getting by on measly pay.

You have to make practical moves. After all, you’re already holed up in a dead-end career, the opposite of careers with a high barrier of entry.

Tech shouldn’t be your problem right now. You’re not cut out for it.

Going into a career path because you heard it’s hot and a way to get out of poverty is probably a bad idea.

I see you love driving. So, why not build a career around driving?

Getting a car shouldn’t be a problem. Get off your high horse and speak to everyone you know about getting a car for hire purchase or daily remittance. Talk to people at work, churches, mosques, conferences and family meetings.

You should find someone willing to give you a car sooner than later.

When you have your car, work hard. Be honest and reliable.

Don’t try to outsmart your benefactor. Most Naija people have low integrity. Be different.

From what you make and save, learn how to drive trucks as well.

Then start working towards migration — the United States , the United Kingdom, and Canada.

Get up and start today. To lie down and do nothing is to be crippled fast.

All the best, family man!

PS: If you talk to everyone you know offline and still can’t get a car, maybe you can look towards Moove. I heard they have a vehicle financing scheme. Haven’t used them. Can’t say much about them. But you should look their way and see.

I just like the way you sound man, i wish I had a brother like you honestly. My only brother is always full of excuses without achieving anything tangible, us his younger sisters have to do everything for him *sigh*

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

.
.
If you don't mind leaving your wife and kids in Nigeria for at least two years and you can get a passport... Message me.... I will handle the rest...make you come hustle in Russia👍

Don't overflog things because you will turn 40 soon.

1. You already have a clear plan to improve yourself by training on how to become a software engineer. You now need to dedicate more of your resources to this cause. Avoid excuses around what you need to invest in this i.e no data

2. You don't even need to have more kids. 2 is just fine and you will appreciate having this number in the long run.

At 39, I had serious debt and so many other challenges and in-between I got married. 6 years down the line, the story is just opposite of that. There is still time. Just be focused on your plans . Shallom

ThothHermes:
You dey learn how to rap abi wetin?

Learn me now..., or free me now...?...

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

You don't need to be watching Coding tutorials online.

Download the videos so you can watch them as often as you want.

You can use the 4 GB bonus MTN gives to download videos from YouTube. (B/w 11pm to 6pm).

Zeewirld:
Seeing a lot of persons advicing him not to give birth again. While some were asking why he decided to get marry early. I believe that children are blessings.

Most seems to forget that not marrying early doesn't means that the funds would have been expended on anything productive.

The young man is confused, scared and most likely facing mid-life crises.

I would encourage you to perish the thoughts of comparing yourself with your mates.

In addition,I would advise you peruse DEEPLY the messages/posts on this your page made by the following persons: @spiralwedge ;@VCMoneyInsights;@Davidsol;@hollamie;@ayandee;@Oluwomonext212;@Lionize and finally read the post by @obaidan.

Wishing you all the best.

You are right. While it is important to be stable before marriage, financial stability is not a determinant. My husband and I got married when we didn't even know what exactly we wanted to do. We just enjoyed each other's company and wanted to be together. In our first 2 weeks after marriage, we both slept on a blanket, no mattress because we had spent all our savings on getting a room and parlor. Then, Lagos landlords were asking for 2 years upfront rent plus agreement and commission. We struggled to pay it. Family helped with the wedding (you know yoruba families and weddings). He was working a 28k job, then had a 60k job then lost that job and had no job. But one thing we did was to continue to develop our selves. He had HND then started BSC about the time we got married and at some point we had to make a decision between renewing our rent with the severance cheque from his last job and paying his university tuition fees. Our child was one year at that time. Guess what? We paid his school fees with that money. God saw our heart and gave me a federal job without any connection and we paid the rent.

He got an IT job and started earning way more than me. Long story short, we are in Canada and sometimes we used to laugh over those times.

* Warning: You can only do this with someone with whom you share the same values. I repeat values are important.

Spot on!

dawnomike:
I am glad you came to the realization of this, but it is better late than never
Solution: Seek for other sources of income maybe online or a tangible side hustle.

What does your wife do for a living?

Also, seek to join co-operative societies where you can dave and later borrow money to buy the car you want for Uber.

Express all these to your wufe as well so that you both can make your goals a family project to strive at.

Above all, no matter what happens, do not impregnate your wife with a baby for now... Cheers sir

Your life is not on anybody time table
Trust the process you would get there in your own time

Zeewirld:
Seeing a lot of persons advicing him not to give birth again. While some were asking why he decided to get marry early. I believe that children are blessings.

Most seems to forget that not marrying early doesn't means that the funds would have been expended on anything productive.

The young man is confused, scared and most likely facing mid-life crises.

I would encourage you to perish the thoughts of comparing yourself with your mates.

In addition,I would advise you peruse DEEPLY the messages/posts on this your page made by the following persons: @spiralwedge ;@VCMoneyInsights;@Davidsol;@hollamie;@ayandee;@Oluwomonext212;@Lionize and finally read the post by @obaidan.

Wishing you all the best.

Children are GODS&THE LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESSING...? "THEY" would gives u children,etc; without u asking 4 him/her/them or initiating d process...? If children are d blessing of/from GOD& LORD JESUS CHRIST,then he/she/they,etc; should be sufficient 4u...?...

otipoju:
Look for Scholarships and tuition free schools in Europe.

You don't plan travel with disposable income.
You make it a priority and do it in stages.

You have too many conflicting goals. Choose one and focus on it.

hmmm. This is so true about traveling.

You're almost there bro. Just after that curve ahead at the end of the tunnel is the light

Ceoangelcee:
.
.
If you don't mind leaving your wife and kids in Nigeria for at least two years and you can get a passport... Message me.... I will handle the rest...make you come hustle in Russia👍

Bro I am more than willing. I am in the same shoes as OP.

your life resemble my own only say i never reach you age and baby never show....life hard

Zeewirld:
Seeing a lot of persons advicing him not to give birth again. While some were asking why he decided to get marry early. I believe that children are blessings.

Most seems to forget that not marrying early doesn't means that the funds would have been expended on anything productive.

The young man is confused, scared and most likely facing mid-life crises.

I would encourage you to perish the thoughts of comparing yourself with your mates.

In addition,I would advise you peruse DEEPLY the messages/posts on this your page made by the following persons: @spiralwedge ;@VCMoneyInsights;@Davidsol;@hollamie;@ayandee;@Oluwomonext212;@Lionize and finally read the post by @obaidan.

Wishing you all the best.

Seems u are woman...? I am 78%..., dat is how a woman/women wud talks,do talks or react...,etc... If children are d blessing of/from GOD&JESUS(...not an HERITAGE OF/FROM THEM?...) Then:"Ibukun Olorun niun munila, laise lala..." Dat blessings, shud b suff...4u

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

OP, you are still very much on track. Things don't always fall in place in every aspect. At least you are not spending millions on cycles of IVF or healthcare. Some people out there are. So gratefulness first of all.

Pray for good health, don't womanise, gamble or drink excessively. Plan your family well and ensure you and your Mrs agree on your vision. If material achievement is all that is left, you can keep working towards that. Nothing spoil.

That coding you're learning now can take you there!

There are enough ebooks in place of videos.

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

I used to think like this too until my illness chopped away my happiness coupled with lack of funds, I love kids but wouldn't even dream of having them now. Till I realized people would always talk and talk, The only person you should ever answer to is your maker anyone else can shove it. Enjoy your life and do what makes you happy at least thats what I am going to do with the few months or years I have left.