₦airaland Forum

Just go n do DNA test to see if that boy is yours

Realistt:
Listen, I am a realist and I will always speak the truth whether it favours me or not. I am not claiming to be a saint. Yes, I have my own personal issues of hitting the nail on the head without mincing words whenever I am angry but I am never a violent person and have never been involved in domestic violence.

This doesn't make you a realist. I have no problems with you not talking to her parents nonetheless, it isn't important they reach out to you as well. You get the level of respect or otherwise you give out.

She just didn't go to her parents, there's an underlying cause which in all you wrote, you never mentioned it. You expect everyone to tell you are right without stating what the problem is. Aren't you expecting us to be biased as well and tell you that which you want to hear?

That said, when you resolve your issues, I believe you and your wife needs sit down to discuss how you run your home. Make her understand she can't force you to love/ accept her parents. Let her understand what they do and how you will want to be treated so that you can mend the relationship. That way, you both don't keep going round this circle.

Realistt:
My wife left our home for the past 1 week to her parents house. She told me she just wanna pay them a visit unknown that she has another plan. I called to ask why she is taking long than expected in her parents but she didn't give a valid reason for staying. What is surprising to me is that her parents who gave her out during marriage condole her persistent staying with them for over one week. This is the 3rd time such is happening and her parents sees nothing wrong with their married daughter spending close to 2 weeks with them without finding out what is wrong from me. My wife's parents BIASED attitude is one of the major reason why I stopped talking to them because they have this habit of believing and accepting everything their daughter says without asking my own side of the issue. Interestingly, My wife is fighting me that I am not close to her parents! Abeg, how on earth will a person be close to parents who are notorious for taking SIDE and always supporting their daughter at any given occasion?. In summary, I told my wife today to come home to pack her stuff back to her parents house since she has been staying with them for close to 2 weeks without given any valid reason. In her response, she said she will will be home next week to pack her luggages and I told her never to come back if she attempts to move her stuff to her parents house. Plz note that our marriage is less than 2 years and we have a SON together. Abeg, ya all should let me know if I have done wrong ignoring her EXTREMELY BIASED PARENTS by not calling them and also telling my wife to come pack her stuff back to her parents house since she left me at home to reside with them?
PS: We had no quarrel before she left the house. She took her drama to the next level LESS THAN A MONTH THAT SHE GOT A JOB.

Sometimes, girls are quiet and hardly forgive if you offended them in the past.
They will surely get back at you the moment they stand on their feet.
I'm not justifying her absence ans I'm not patting you in the back but look back and think deeply on what you might have done to her when she was jobless and she's trying to do her own now.
If yes, please 🙏 apologize to her and her parents and get your family back.
Don't throw your peace away but be humble as a man and embrace your loving wife.
Shalom Dear brother!

I don't get what exactly warranted the come and pack your load?

Is it the more than 1 week visit? Is the 2 weeks too long for her to visit her parents what exactly is the issue Gan? Since you said you guys didn't have any quarell.

what are you not telling us apart from the fact that you are keeping malice with your inlaws?

So you cut off all communication from your own Mother in-law and father in-law? What do you mean by your in-laws are always siding your wife when issues arise? Is that enough reason a husband should cut off communication. It takes a very toxic mannerleses$ man to cut off communication with his parent in-laws. It would have been more understanding if you reduced communication with them.

If only you know what many are going through in marriage, you would have appreciated your wife and in-laws. Your home environment is toxic, that's why your wife is always leaving, no woman would abandon a loving husband to go and live with her parents, unless it was a forced marriage.

If you doubt me, then work on your toxicity, drop your ego, bring your wife back, and see if that marriage will not work. If you feel too proud to go appologise to your in-laws, then I hope you will remain single forever because there is no perfect woman. It's good to see that your wife has good parents who protect their beloved daughter, this is something most African parents fail to do, as they abandon their daughters to face all kinds of nonsen$e/abuse.

Realistt:
My wife left our home for the past 1 week to her parents house. She told me she just wanna pay them a visit unknown that she has another plan. I called to ask why she is taking long than expected in her parents but she didn't give a valid reason for staying. What is surprising to me is that her parents who gave her out during marriage condole her persistent staying with them for over one week. This is the 3rd time such is happening and her parents sees nothing wrong with their married daughter spending close to 2 weeks with them without finding out what is wrong from me. My wife's parents BIASED attitude is one of the major reason why I stopped talking to them because they have this habit of believing and accepting everything their daughter says without asking my own side of the issue. Interestingly, My wife is fighting me that I am not close to her parents! Abeg, how on earth will a person be close to parents who are notorious for taking SIDE and always supporting their daughter at any given occasion?. In summary, I told my wife today to come home to pack her stuff back to her parents house since she has been staying with them for close to 2 weeks without given any valid reason. In her response, she said she will will be home next week to pack her luggages and I told her never to come back if she attempts to move her stuff to her parents house. Plz note that our marriage is less than 2 years and we have a SON together. Abeg, ya all should let me know if I have done wrong ignoring her EXTREMELY BIASED PARENTS by not calling them and also telling my wife to come pack her stuff back to her parents house since she left me at home to reside with them?
PS: We had no quarrel before she left the house. She took her drama to the next level LESS THAN A MONTH THAT SHE GOT A JOB.

You have not confessed what you did to your wife.
Have you been treating her bad?
If not, what sensible parents would want their daughter to leave her husband's house without any valid reason?

You even dared her (to come pack her stuff), and she's ready to call your bluff.
That says a lot.

Well, thank God she has parents that she can rely on and run to, otherwise, God knows!

You better humble yourself and sort things out with your wife and her family, before you ruin everything.

That's one thing about women, once they marry, that's the time they'll one to sleep in their fathers house. My divorce that bastard and move,do DNA on your son.

Realistt:
Listen, I am a realist and I will always speak the truth whether it favours me or not. I am not claiming to be a saint. Yes, I have my own personal issues of hitting the nail on the head without mincing words whenever I am angry but I am never a violent person and have never been involved in domestic violence.

You have a very big fragile ego.

Learn to be diplomatic & flexible, it won't kill you.

Wodu89:
Have I accused you?


If you won't tell the whole lump to get accurate responses, then my dear you're as terrible as they say you are

Save us the hypocrisy abeg

No mind am.

He's just an empty egoist.

Rokiat:
Clearly your wife is emotionally immature and runs to her family for every little thing. Seems like her mother raised her this way to depend on her, one of the many traits of narcissistic mothers. I can clearly spot a lot of issues in this your marriage and if care is not taken you are headed for trouble because lack of communication between you and your wife is glaring as well. Why haven’t you call your wife since she left to find out whats going on? Is this battle of the egos or is it that you actually did something wrong to your wife but left that out of your write out?

The lack of boundaries with her family is shocking to say the least. No matter what their daughter told them, they shouldn’t have allow her stay without her husband approval for this long a married woman for that matter.


Also seems to me like you have a grudge against her family just from the way you wrote. A mature husband would call and ask his in laws why his wife is still over there.

My man you have a lot of issues to work on, if you still treasure your marriage I suggest you put your ego aside and work on your communication with your wife. She also needs to grow up she clearly don’t know how marriage works or what marriage is all about, she’s has a lot of unlearning and work to do. She probably don’t know any better, if this is how how parents are behaving just imagine how she was raised by these folks clearly she doesn’t even know if she’s doing anything wrong her parents are her enablers and she’s immature. She needs serious help.


If you and your wife can work together, then the in laws issues will be easy to handle. What you encourage is what will continue they are just doing this because your wife has encouraged them.


Lastly you have to do better as a son in law. Don’t be so proud and arrogant with your in laws, try to bring your shoulder down a bit. Call them once a while, visit them once a while, check on them maintain a healthy relationship with your in laws, no one is asking you to kiss their asses but be a kind person and Learn to be respectful especially to your mother and father in laws. I have seen a lot of husbands be jerks to their in laws and expecting to have a happy home with their wife impossible!!!!

You can be respectful and loving to them and still set boundaries with them.

I like your balanced perspective of both sides.

The OP has a fragile ego. He needs to develop thick skin cos people will still continue to offend him & if he continues with this his superiority me-against-the-world mentality, he'll end up commiting suicide, as no one will GAF about him.

Harshreality:
So because her parents mistakenly let you marry their daughter without noticing your bad character is why you think you're their agemate?

What audacity. You are extremely disrespectful and rude. And if you can behave this way to people that are old enough to have you as their child, it's no wonder your wife ran away from home.

If Nigerian women stopped talking to their in-laws because they feel disrespected 99% of all marriages for don break.

Why would you expect them to take your side?? They don't even know you like that and you obviously refuse the build the bond that would make them like you enough to see you as a son.

He's forming "I don't take shit from anybody", as if he's never step on anyone's toes before.

Such a boy in a man's clothing.

GboyegaD:
This doesn't make you a realist. I have no problems with you not talking to her parents nonetheless, it isn't important they reach out to you as well. You get the level of respect or otherwise you give out.

She just didn't go to her parents, there's an underlying cause which in all you wrote, you never mentioned it. You expect everyone to tell you are right without stating what the problem is. Aren't you expecting us to be biased as well and tell you that which you want to hear?

That said, when you resolve your issues, I believe you and your wife needs sit down to discuss how you run your home. Make her understand she can't force you to love/ accept her parents. Let her understand what they do and how you will want to be treated so that you can mend the relationship. That way, you both don't keep going round this circle.

Despite him trying to cover up his shortcomings, there are still loopholes in his write-up.

He's the kind of dude that likes shouting & talking down on people, then peg it as being "realistic" 🤣🤣
It's all stems from low self-esteem.

You can be diplomatic, flexible & reasonable, yet command a great deal of respect from all & sundry. 💯

Realistt:
@AdolfHitler E be like say U sabi me lol 🤣😂. How am I WEAK based on the post I made? If I am weak, I would have danced to their music by allowing them indirectly control my home for me. If I am weak, there won't be issues arising coz I will accept all their shenanigans. Why not tell me how I am weak and what I should have done differently.

Hello Sir, please meet the parents and sit down with them with your own parents as well. Iron this out in a family meeting. Let her parents know that you are not happy with their interference. Their should be boundaries. If they refuse and your wife doesnt accept, then do whatever you think is right. Please, be in the life of your son, thats the most important.

Wodu89:
If you judge marital crises from hearing just one side of the tale you would offend God. My dear, this Op is not just mischievous bit a liar and avictim that beats himself up that the world.is against him.


Anyone who wants truth must first come with equity. This one doesn't.

You're speaking as if you know him in person??

jesmond3945:
Hello Sir, please meet the parents and sit down with them with your own parents as well. Iron this out in a family meeting. Let her parents know that you are not happy with their interference. Their should be boundaries. If they refuse and your wife doesnt accept, then do whatever you think is right. Please, be in the life of your son, thats the most important.

Let him say how they have interfered.
What is paining him is the fact that they reserved Madam's room for her in their house, hence his statement of interference.

He expects that when he asks her to "pack her load and go", she will be wailing like a banshee that has nowhere to go. But they have clipped his wings as wifey has a welcoming family to go to. So his shoulders have come down and he is now dishing out cheap threats which she has also called his bluff.
Not all family will throw away their daughter like the Ekwueme lady for one mannerless thing to come and finish her, as if say nor be 9 months pregnancy her mama also carry her.

yrhuhfy113:
Oga, YOU ARE NOT WRONG... you are actually on your right....

BUT pls be humble enough to meet the parents to find out what is really going on, it may something you're not even aware of.

Dialogue before you jump to conclusion sir.

pls try to be patient....

Nothing is going on. If something is going on, and they can't tell him, then nothing is going on

shawante:
You're speaking as if you know him in person??

It's called " Clarity of insight "

Obviously you aren't loved or better ...A woman who loves you sees you like here number 1 child,she can't stay away without thinking of what you will eat and how bored you will be .

Rokiat:
Clearly your wife is emotionally immature and runs to her family for every little thing. Seems like her mother raised her this way to depend on her, one of the many traits of narcissistic mothers. I can clearly spot a lot of issues in this your marriage and if care is not taken you are headed for trouble because lack of communication between you and your wife is glaring as well. Why haven’t you call your wife since she left to find out whats going on? Is this battle of the egos or is it that you actually did something wrong to your wife but left that out of your write out?

The lack of boundaries with her family is shocking to say the least. No matter what their daughter told them, they shouldn’t have allow her stay without her husband approval for this long a married woman for that matter.


Also seems to me like you have a grudge against her family just from the way you wrote. A mature husband would call and ask his in laws why his wife is still over there.

My man you have a lot of issues to work on, if you still treasure your marriage I suggest you put your ego aside and work on your communication with your wife. She also needs to grow up she clearly don’t know how marriage works or what marriage is all about, she’s has a lot of unlearning and work to do. She probably don’t know any better, if this is how how parents are behaving just imagine how she was raised by these folks clearly she doesn’t even know if she’s doing anything wrong her parents are her enablers and she’s immature. She needs serious help.


If you and your wife can work together, then the in laws issues will be easy to handle. What you encourage is what will continue they are just doing this because your wife has encouraged them.


Lastly you have to do better as a son in law. Don’t be so proud and arrogant with your in laws, try to bring your shoulder down a bit. Call them once a while, visit them once a while, check on them maintain a healthy relationship with your in laws, no one is asking you to kiss their asses but be a kind person and Learn to be respectful especially to your mother and father in laws. I have seen a lot of husbands be jerks to their in laws and expecting to have a happy home with their wife impossible!!!!

You can be respectful and loving to them and still set boundaries with them.

Are you married Rokiat

Wodu89:
It's called " Clarity of insight "

I have been reading your comments since and you made absolutely no sense

Wodu89:
It's called " Clarity of insight "

Big words that actually mean nothing.. Besides 'insight' should mean something personal and doesn't connote that you know him personally.

Wodu89:
It's simple. Whenever humans give one sided information where the are victims and other parties are evil, it's always because there are major things they're hiding.

The wife portrayed herself as the victim in front of her parents as well,
What do u have to say to that

Wodu89:
Rather helping him see his condition

You r d one with a condition..
See how u came to a silly conclusion