₦airaland Forum

AngelicBeing:
Gbamsulotely, Wisdom, Discretion, inner intuition, your Spiritman, The Celestial forces etc should guide and guard you daily as you live amongst the wolves,

InvertedHammer:
/
It is the same reason they advise people against feeding stray cats. They will keep coming back.

/

OKOATA:
Bro it's just a harmless advice, no let frustration kee you.

Skyview01:
It means if you see any charge on your account that is from the bank, alway be proactive and ask for a reversal.

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

denzel231:
no be bad tin e do now

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

tonididdy:
That security guard is prolly of igbo origin


... They don't appreciate anything that isn't instant life changing. They see such generosity as their birthright but they can never in turn do it for anyone else

XAUBulls:
Sukkot, how's it going bruv?

Another insightful experience from you!

I have learned over the years to be discretionary when dealing with the human animal. I love to give but would rather do so by giving so that a person can learn to fish. I heard those private security guys in
Nigeria earn as little as N20,000 monthly currently.

At 19 years, the teenage guard must learn the art of gratitude and acceptance so he can easily gravitate towards a better employment and situation.

In any event, being an evolved
Soul that you are, I want you chat with the guard again like he is your son and remind him about the power of gratitude which would enable him to leapfrog other challenges of life. If he doesn't learn from a person like you, he could join a bad group and bring thieves to rob residents by serving as an informant to armed robbers.


More power to you Sukkot, the "Grandmaster of the entire Lekki Peninsula." Lol.

frugal:
Have him reassigned immediately.

mariahAngel:
Really?
What made them de-mod you?
Did you abuse power? Be honest.

Khallicopyro:
Na small pikin sense dey worry the security guard

GloriousGbola:
if you were not taught how to relate like a civilized human being, you will be related with in the only language you know

Klass99:
Fulani . Those people are not nice o, Sukkot. We had a security guard once from the core north at the first property I rented and it came out later that he was a killer and had killed before. He looked just as innocent and harmless like the guard you have described.

And guess what? Tenants treated him nicely too, like you did yours.......but mehn that guy was a green snake under the green grass. Taking people's words and twisting them to jam heads, telling stories and secrets of tenants who were close to and friendly with him.

Please ehn, can you have the guy replaced with an older and matured person? You guys should start over with someone new and let there be boundaries from the get go. Stop the assumptions that he can't do anything and is harmless. Don't you watch true crime stories? What do you think God means when he says the human heart is desperately wicked?

Wodu89:
My brother. The economy is bad. Let's stretch out our hands. But the sardines and three. Soft drinks is over doing it


Also don't make it uniform.. If it's Saturdays please stick with that. Which one is grocery shopping again for giving.? Abeg you o. Don't breed an enemy for yourself o


I've been in such situations, the guys attempted to take my life till today. The matter hasn't resolved

karnap:
This fall on my head too, am a chef working in Lagos,
There is this igbo guy who work in the estate, he do everything, I mean if you want to get a plumber, he will tell you he can,if you need painter,electricians any casual job, this guy will do it,before my boss employed me,he normally helped my boss washed his water tank,change bulbs, so when I came in,i saw how he tried to survived, on.my own,I went to ajah market get afang soup ingredients,
I prepared this soup,I bought fufu 500, I served him with the soup and I packed some soup for him in a takeaway, I gave him this,all for me last week for this guy to knocked from my door because our estate is an open compound, he asked me,you never cook I dey hungry? I say no, he say make I find him something, I have 1k left with me,I gave him,that same last week,this guy come again that he is

hungry,ahh! Omo wetin dey? Come be like person wey buy food for restaurant, I say nothing, he say make I give am.bottle water,I gave him,no thank you ooo,I begun to noticed his attitude, on Sunday, this guy come again, that he wants Sunday rice, wooaaa!! This time.I'm.already upset, I told him.we never cook!! He asked wetin una dey eat nah?

Now this is it? Nigegrian always wants you to keep up with what you have started.
Na why some big men don't want to help,cos if you do,you most help everyone otherwise you will paint black.


When I find this ,I remembered this guy.
Thank you.

sukkot:
hey Mariah how are you ? Trust you are well. Yeah you are right. We learn our lessons as we progress in life. Life is the best teacher. Keep in mind this guy is just one very skinny looking harmless looking guy is why I went overboard with the help. He doesn't look dangerous. He just looks like a lost young guy who is trying to do the job to survive but yeah point taken. Never go too far

midastouch:
We had an annual tradition in my office where we donate monies and use it to do end of year dash for policemen at a police post near the office, who are guarding a VIP residence nearby. We did this because our unofficial parking lot was near their post. Their presence served as a quasi security for our parked cars. The cops turned it into year end salary and started making other demands. One told my boss that he was very stingy and should buy him a car for Uber. Me, I totally cut them off and contribute very little.

vastolord4:
Got your fair share from siblings? Lol
Got mine from my coz. Dangerously entitled

Dshocker:
Guy stop am, if na play...

Which kind talk be this naaaaa?

XAUBulls:
Aha! Just a quick observation here.
I even thought the guard is from the
South or Central parts of Nigeria.

Most of those guys are from foreign countries such as Chad, Niger and Mali though, and may not be
Fulanis but Touaregs and other ethnicities that look like Fulanis or
Hausas. They have been known to rob and kill their employers and then run back to their countries for safety based on media reports over the years.

sukkot:
my guy billionaires are eccentric. You have to be eccentric to be a billionaire

BeardedmeatR:
You are right Op.

As for me, I have stopped giving to those who didn't ask. I only help if you ask, and not because I feel you are in need.

My experience is that giving to those who didn't ask makes them feel humiliated and unappreciative and they hate you for it.

That security man is your staff, don't allow him get away with any misbehavior.

karnap:
This fall on my head too, am a chef working in Lagos,
There is this igbo guy who work in the estate, he do everything, I mean if you want to get a plumber, he will tell you he can,if you need painter,electricians any casual job, this guy will do it,before my boss employed me,he normally helped my boss washed his water tank,change bulbs, so when I came in,i saw how he tried to survived, on.my own,I went to ajah market get afang soup ingredients,
I prepared this soup,I bought fufu 500, I served him with the soup and I packed some soup for him in a takeaway, I gave him this,all for me last week for this guy to knocked from my door because our estate is an open compound, he asked me,you never cook I dey hungry? I say no, he say make I find him something, I have 1k left with me,I gave him,that same last week,this guy come again that he is

hungry,ahh! Omo wetin dey? Come be like person wey buy food for restaurant, I say nothing, he say make I give am.bottle water,I gave him,no thank you ooo,I begun to noticed his attitude, on Sunday, this guy come again, that he wants Sunday rice, wooaaa!! This time.I'm.already upset, I told him.we never cook!! He asked wetin una dey eat nah?

Now this is it? Nigerian always wants you to keep up with what you have started.
Na why some big men don't want to help,cos if you do,you most help everyone otherwise you will paint black.


When I find this ,I remembered this guy.
Thank you.

sukkot:
right lol

goldmatrix:
You aren't saying anything different from what's happening between me and my neighbor whose house is next to ours. Every Christmas I do giveaway to the family but the Christmas that I skipped, his children even refused greeting me. God knows what she told them..

sukkot:
fulani or kanuri .

bdon123:
Yeah mine is not even an estate. I tink its illiteracy becos i cant get why u leave a job without telling ur boss reason.Even my househelp go come my house for morning dey clean dey look me face to face without saying good morning becos she blieve she senior me.
Illiteracy sha

RosyIsBlessed:
Rich people are stingy... Where did you get this?

otipoju:
When I visited my mum, she was upset and asked why I was dressing like that and not like a diasporan...I told her you don't know what Nigeria has become. I even book like 3 hotels staying in one for not more than a week...so the receptionists don get too familiar. One told me the quality of the simple t-shirt I wore gave me away.

I grew up knowing the streets and I still stay current My driver was frustrated one day and said why don't I go out in the night to enjoy life like other people. I sey were want make I drink and dey vulnerable and easier to kidnap.

Many Nigerians are devil incarnate. Once I finish wetin dey carry me come...I won't visit for a very very long time.

GloriousGbola:
i have learnt something much better to ignore trolls. now fk off attention seeker

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.