Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,348 members, 7,819,235 topics. Date: Monday, 06 May 2024 at 01:09 PM

Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? (53382 Views)

Families In Africa Act As If They Own You When You Make Money- Mikel Obi Laments / What Mistakes Did You Make And You Don't Want Your Children To Make? / If Your Brother Is Still Generous To Your Family After Marriage, Thank His Wife’ (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by vastolord4(m): 6:01pm On May 11, 2023
Divoc19:
Some people are naturally jealous. Yes. Some siblings are not exempted

Got your fair share from siblings? Lol
Got mine from my coz. Dangerously entitled

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Gangster1ms: 6:01pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.
Learnt the lesson long ago.. It's always strictly business with me, once you become too nice to your workers be ready to be nice for life, they might even kill you for changing.
Only a very few are appreciative and exceptional

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Nobody: 6:02pm On May 11, 2023
nick50:
Guess the gate man na yoruba...na thier trademark be dat,they even do it in business


I was just about saying that before seeing this
😅😅😅😅😅... Two Yoruba guys have been vocally mean to me since i stopping giving them tips while passing their street oo..

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by alezzy13: 6:03pm On May 11, 2023
Skyview01:


I used to work in a bank and at month ends, accounts and transaction fees are charged. We have an instruction to reverse fees ONLY if the customers asked for it. Most rich people will 100% of the time ask for a reversal of the smallest amount and lots of the poor people never ask for their money back.

I have seen up to $180 reversible charges in transaction fees in a poor person's account and could have been reversed if they had asked for it but, guess what, they are either too proud, shy or ignorant to ask.

The distinction between being rich and poor goes deep into mentality and build up of individuals.

If you give 20million dollars each to all the young people today aged 20 years, in 25 years, the rich will still be rich and the poor would have squandered the 20 million dollars and still remain poor.

I give to people that are really in need; the motherless babies home, orphanage homes and the likes of that.

Hmm. Interesting 🤔
Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by omoredia: 6:03pm On May 11, 2023
If u are generous to lazy people you will surely regret it!

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by ednut1(m): 6:03pm On May 11, 2023
Sukkot the anti japa expert. You better continue finding him something. Make the boy no kill you or set you up

13 Likes

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Nobody: 6:03pm On May 11, 2023
tonididdy:
That security guard is prolly of igbo origin


... They don't appreciate anything that isn't instant life changing. They see such generosity as their birthright but they can never in turn do it for anyone else

Quit being sarcastic 🙄🙄
Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Saifullah01: 6:05pm On May 11, 2023
You can never be who you are not, and don't try being anything other than yourself- Trust me you'll fail if you try.

If you are a kind hearted don't change, the world need more of your type, being wise shouldn't make you unkind- you were wise in calling out his stalking shenanigans to his face. After a wile you may or may not "find him something", you're doing it because that's who you are and you've called him out on his entitlement mentality. It's left for him to take correction or not. Bottom line Strong men change situation around them, not the otherway round

7 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by terrymason(m): 6:06pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.
Let me give you and others here some advice and life hack. This advice was given to me by my Dad.

Never help anybody... even immediate family members, in a orderly manner. Example... giving someone 5k every month. Let your help not be uniform for them to calculate. You can give someone one 20k this month and give then 5k in a week time and give then 10k in 2 months times. Anything that is uniform most times, humans always take it as an entitlement mentality. It's natural.

Most Poor people "Not All", are very wicked. Poverty is just hiding their real nature.

I help randomly. I can't be predicted. Let your help be by the leading and unpredictable.

Much Love.

22 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by fof1: 6:08pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

Friend, Continue to Do Good as You Can...Not Minding Receivers' Attitudes...God Knows ur Heart and will Surely Bless Ur Benevolence, Pls. Absolutely, Ignore any Misdemeanor.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by AngelicBeing: 6:09pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.
Dayuummmmmm, welc to Nigeria, abeg walk with wisdom with the guy oo, some security guards are informants to Robbers and Kidnappers, it is a cruel and Wicked world out there, so be wise as the serpent and harmless like the dove, that is why anytime l visit Nigeria, l put on my Ghost Garment 24/ 7, l don't trust most people in Nigeria, l have been taken advantage of several times in my visits to Nigeria, so whenever l land, l am a Ghost to the core although I do help, support and assist as many as I can as led by The celestial forces shocked

11 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Akharmony: 6:11pm On May 11, 2023
i think some of them b thinking is one luck or juju that is working for them. . If i you happen to b close to me and i give you something and my instint give me a signal that such person is ungratful, omoh i will just avoid you and if you stalk me i will disgrace you. Shikenah. It good to teach speak some sense into there head. A mature close friend i have been rendering help to countless number of times least i gave to him during those period is 23k with some change ontop the money, max 180k(apologies for saying this).and i have never brought my own burden to him cos he is always complaining. About some months ago before i finally cut him off, he ask me to loan him some money to add to his business and i told him things are really tough here In south Africa(electricity is a big challenge presently) but i told him i will see what i can do but i cant promise a actual date.Just 2days / 3days after, he wrote on his whatsapp status list of about four persons thanking them for giving him money, Like Baba You too much, you sure Pass them. Haa! i know he was sending me a signal, then i reacted to the post with a Like* he didnt even open my message for days. couple of days after he sent me a message if i still have him on mind, i gallantly said; No, i dont have money. It over 4months we last talked.

22 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by sharpwriter(m): 6:11pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.
Boss see you.... You dey dash people 5k wey no appreciate but your boy dey here, never sabi how I go take do weekend... Boss you fit drop something o... I dey very serious. I be grateful guy.

4 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by sukkot: 6:11pm On May 11, 2023
guys these numbers are hypothetical figures so dont think i go around giving beggars 5000 naira. i was making a point. the guyman i gave 5000 i am acquainted with in some way. so i aint some guy with money to waste, my dm is crazy right now with 5000 naira requests lol.

15 Likes

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Akalia(m): 6:12pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.
Givers never lack. Don't drop your good habit of giving alms to the needy.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by grandstar(m): 6:13pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot

These security men are poorly paid. The ones in my estate get N22k monthly. What can that buy?

Your tips meant a lot to him. It's a shame he became hostile but please forgive him.

Anyways, I feel you were overgenerous with your giving. That sardine added was too much grin grin

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by worried222: 6:13pm On May 11, 2023
Sukkot, you see the reason why you need to japa. Or funny enough the reason why you shouldn’t japa, at least you will always find young men that will worship you and lick your black a55 because you gave them noodles and sardines and soda. But be careful sha.

1 Like

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Westerhoffe(m): 6:13pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

In the Bible, JESUS CHRIST said:

“Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.”
— Matthew 5:42 (KJV)


And He also said:

“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
— Matthew 7:6 (KJV)


I believe this is enough to understand.

5 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Foodqueen(f): 6:13pm On May 11, 2023
Op sukkot.

Your life isn't safe with him anymore.

Tell the recruiter to send you someone else.

And don't allow see finish.

In as much as I love to help people especially widows, I keep a straight face too.

Most importantly, I don't start what I can't finish.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by cococandy(f): 6:14pm On May 11, 2023
I think this is a universal experience. After a while they take it for granted. Some don’t even thank you anymore

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by sukkot: 6:15pm On May 11, 2023
worried222:
Sukkot, you see the reason why you need to japa. Or funny enough the reason why you shouldn’t japa, at least you will always find young men that will worship you and lick your black a55 because you gave them noodles and sardines and soda. But be careful sha.
grin grin oh its a safe environment and the guy is powerless
Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by mariahAngel(f): 6:15pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
ok. thank you mods for the fp. much appreciated

You could've just mentioned the mods earlier, you know? cheesy
It's an interesting topic.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by LARRYOBRAIN(m): 6:16pm On May 11, 2023
Sorry, you started what you cannot finish.
Let people come to you when they need help and don't over do it.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Nazgul: 6:16pm On May 11, 2023
@ sukkot

I would highly recommend that you tell your company to replace that fellow. That kind of entitlement mentality isn't what you should tolerate, cos he can do anything to you without remorse including robing or even killing you.

Replace him ASAP.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by lordswill03: 6:17pm On May 11, 2023
They are mostly like that. Once you start being "nice" it becomes their right. My wife had to literally told our security guard( public yard at that oo, we all contribute to pay him) that she owes him nothing. He'd always ask her mama wetin you buy for me today nah. Wifey had to tell him to stop

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by Akanniade(m): 6:17pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.
You took him through the 5 steps of dependency:
Appreciation ,Anticipation, Expectations, Entitlement, Dependency.

12 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by sukkot: 6:18pm On May 11, 2023
Foodqueen:
Op sukkot.

Your life isn't safe with him anymore.

Tell the recruiter to send you someone else.

And don't allow see finish.

In as much as I love to help people especially widows, I keep a straight face too.

Most importantly, I don't start what I can't finish.
oh its a double gated estate and next door is armed mopols. its a very safe close and he is powerless but i would take the advice. thanks

1 Like

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by mariahAngel(f): 6:18pm On May 11, 2023
tonididdy:
That security guard is prolly of igbo origin


... They don't appreciate anything that isn't instant life changing. They see such generosity as their birthright but they can never in turn do it for anyone else

What is the matter with you?

3 Likes

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by niel63(m): 6:18pm On May 11, 2023
Charity is an everyday thing for me.... no matter how small. Its a part of me...


But i nearly slap wax comot for one ear last week. People just dey say, bros! Abeg leave am... guess what.
The guy come dey quote reverse psychology for me... cheesy cheesy grin

Telling me he'll eventually makes it and God go do this and that...

I just look at God and smiled.

Omo, you can't stop being good because of some unappreciative lots.

Jump am pass and continue your humanity to the world.
Giving is a gift not so many have.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by sukkot: 6:19pm On May 11, 2023
Akanniade:

You took him through the 5 steps of dependency:
Appreciation ,Anticipation, Expectations, Entitlement, Dependency.
hmmmm thats deep

1 Like

Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by AngelicBeing: 6:20pm On May 11, 2023
sukkot:
guys these numbers are hypothetical figures so dont think i go around giving beggars 5000 naira. i was making a point. the guyman i gave 5000 i am acquainted with in some way. so i aint some guy with money to waste, my dm is crazy right now with 5000 naira requests lol.
Muchecheche, you go pay guys taya from your Astral magic money, Dayuummmmmm grin
Re: Do You Make Someone Your Enemy When You Are Generous To Them ? by RPG2020(m): 6:20pm On May 11, 2023
Change your circle ⭕ very important

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (12) (Reply)

My Wife Used New Car To Sow Seed To Her Pastor – Husband / My Friend's Wife Keeps Disturbing Me For Money / When Women Lie That They Are Pregnant Just To Trap Guys Into Marrying Them

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 177
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.