₦airaland Forum

franchasofficia:
She should summon courage and tell them that she wants them to involve traditional oath swearing between herself and the guy or else that she would report the boy to a popular shrine to come and swear that she forced him.




This would reset their brain and believe me the guy will backtrack or confess once he hears its going the traditional way cos Nigerians fear shrines more than anything else.



Going to court cant solve it

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

Forrkke:
She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

Forrkke:
She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

Forrkke:
Hi, guys please I need advice on what to do. It’ll be a bit lengthy, but please bear with me as I wouldn’t want people drawing conclusions without fully grasping the situation.


Back in 2015 my cousin with whom I stayed in the same city got pregnant at the age of 16. She was still in SS2 at the time, and the guy that got her pregnant was way older and a university student. It was a very disheartening news for the family, and her dad was very angry, so much that he said he didn’t want to see her with his eyes.


In just 3 days, my aunt ( her mother) made arrangement with one of her father’s sisters in their hometown for her to go stay there. That was the last time I saw her until late last year when she came back to Lagos. She worked, schooled, and generally lived her life there for over 7 years. Her dad had forgiven her when he went for a function over there in 2019. They were not talking before that.

So, the issue at hand now is that her aunt aborted
her pregnancy just within 24hrs of getting to the town, even threatened to stab her if she didn’t do as said. The aunt stayed with her husband and son who was about the same age as my cousin, and she was told that she’d be staying in the same room as the boy but in separate beds.

6 months later, it had become evident that this boy was a drug addict and smokes. My cousin kept this to herself and didn’t tell the mother. One night, when the parents had traveled, the boy approached her and cajoled her to have sex with him. My stupid cousin fell for it. She admitted that she wasn’t forced and it wasn’t rape; the boy just convinced her, which was very foolish of her. And it’s not like this had made any suggestive move before; it was the first time and you fell so foolishly.

The second day which was a Sunday
, the boy wanted the same thing, but she refused him this time having been whelmed with shame. She confessed to their pastor and was prayed for, told to never fall into such act again. This happened way back in 2016, and it was a secret until now. My cousin moved out from their house a month later to stay with another of her dad’s sisters in the same city. And that’s where she stayed and schooled from till she came back to Lagos. She and the boy have never spoken or met since she left.

Now she’s done with school and is back to her own father’s house in Lagos. Her father’s eldest sibling called recently and said the boy has been depressed for
some months now and that he said he had some confessions about he and my cousin. The aunt asked my cousin what the matter is before the boy made his confessions, but she didn’t say anything.

Unfortunately, the guy was the first to say something, and they said he has been wanting to commit suicide. But here’s the problem: the guy narrated it in a very different way; according to him,

~ My cousin forced him ( which is as good as the word “rape”)

~ He was a virgin the time and my cousin deflowered him (a huge lie, this guy had been carrying all sorts of girls before this period)

~ What she did to him has been affecting him mentally, and that’s why he’s failed academically so much that’s he’s dropped out twice

~ My cousin ruined his life


Continued below

Forrkke:
She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

franchasofficia:
She should summon courage and tell them that she wants them to involve traditional oath swearing between herself and the guy or else that she would report the boy to a popular shrine to come and swear that she forced him.




This would reset their brain and believe me the guy will backtrack or confess once he hears its going the traditional way cos Nigerians fear shrines more than anything else.



Going to court cant solve it

purejustice36:
Nobody believe any story from a female in most families, I know that for sure most esp when the lady is wayward or made any mistake in the past
Every judges you like they’re saints

Guy go use better soldier carry that boy first , no pity any family person if you get mind o
If you no get mind then you can allow your family to keep tormenting your cousin

They’ll torment her till she looses it , later on it’s “I’m sorry” you’ll hear

Forrkke:
We’re not Igbo; both families are Christians

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

NoToPile:
I find it funny that the incest issue is not what is even being addressed in this whole scenerio.

She says it was consensual how come the family members can't believe it was consensual.

It's easier for a female to claim she was raped than a guy doing same.

Anyway they would believe him because she was pregnant before and she is seen as the wayward one.

The guy knows what is biting him maybe the incestous act is having a negative effect on him and he knows and he feels the need to confess and blame his partner for it.

Forrkke:
She could have easily lied to me that she was forced too or raped.

But she said the truth that it was her who agreed after being cajoled to do it.

And she had told me about this stuff before everyone in the family got aware of it.

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

yemmit90:
Is like you don't know women? He convinced her my foot, you should know it is all lies the moment a woman tell you she slept with a man without her consent but not a rape. From your story, I think I believe the guy more than your cousin, what would he gain by lying against a girl he beg to sleep with after 8 years.

Forrkke:
Now, members of the family have been calling my cousin to call her all sorts of name. They said if anything happens to the guy, she’ll be held responsible for it.


My question is,

How can you lie against someone, more so your own cousin without any remorse?

How come it’s after 8 years that you’re feeling guilty and depressed for what happened?

I’m not supporting my cousin; she deserves whatever castigations are coming her way. But is it okay to let this humongous character assassination slide?

The sad thing is nobody is interested in hearing her own side of the story; it’s the guy they believe because he spoke first. I believe my cousin because she told me about this issue back in December last year, before it became known to everybody. She could have easily lied that she was forced or raped just to save her reputation. But she confided in me and said it as it was… that it was her who agreed to it.

From what I know, this guy has been a failure and has disappointed his parents many times; he’s just playing some antics and isn’t depressed. He’s using this story to draw sympathy because no one in the family likes him due to his waywardness.

Someone they said was depressed was heard on the phone laughing to a skit when my cousin called one of her aunts explaining. The boy was there but didn’t know the aunt was on phone with my cousin. Also, my cousin doesn’t have the boy’s number and has not been allowed to speak to him and confront him for all the lies against her.


My cousin has a fiancé, but now her father’s people her saying she’s wicked that after destroying someone’s life, she wants to settle down. They’re asking her what will happen to the guy whose life she has destroyed? This girl hasn’t been herself for weeks now. She has been thrown under the bus, so much that her one elder brother has disowned her.


What do you guys suggest she does going forward?

My cousin and I have always been very close, and I’m like the only person in the family that understands her now, even though I condemn what she fell into years ago.

Someone is suggesting my cousin sue the boy, how’s that feasible? We’re talking about a family member here.
And one thing is certain; this boy will not be able to tell all these lies in the presence of my cousin if confronted.

Forrkke:
Hi, guys please I need advice on what to do. It’ll be a bit lengthy, but please bear with me as I wouldn’t want people drawing conclusions without fully grasping the situation.


Back in 2015 my cousin with whom I stayed in the same city got pregnant at the age of 16. She was still in SS2 at the time, and the guy that got her pregnant was way older and a university student. It was a very disheartening news for the family, and her dad was very angry, so much that he said he didn’t want to see her with his eyes.


In just 3 days, my aunt ( her mother) made arrangement with one of her father’s sisters in their hometown for her to go stay there. That was the last time I saw her until late last year when she came back to Lagos. She worked, schooled, and generally lived her life there for over 7 years. Her dad had forgiven her when he went for a function over there in 2019. They were not talking before that.

So, the issue at hand now is that her aunt aborted
her pregnancy just within 24hrs of getting to the town, even threatened to stab her if she didn’t do as said. The aunt stayed with her husband and son who was about the same age as my cousin, and she was told that she’d be staying in the same room as the boy but in separate beds.

6 months later, it had become evident that this boy was a drug addict and smokes. My cousin kept this to herself and didn’t tell the mother. One night, when the parents had traveled, the boy approached her and cajoled her to have sex with him. My stupid cousin fell for it. She admitted that she wasn’t forced and it wasn’t rape; the boy just convinced her, which was very foolish of her. And it’s not like this had made any suggestive move before; it was the first time and you fell so foolishly.

The second day which was a Sunday
, the boy wanted the same thing, but she refused him this time having been whelmed with shame. She confessed to their pastor and was prayed for, told to never fall into such act again. This happened way back in 2016, and it was a secret until now. My cousin moved out from their house a month later to stay with another of her dad’s sisters in the same city. And that’s where she stayed and schooled from till she came back to Lagos. She and the boy have never spoken or met since she left.

Now she’s done with school and is back to her own father’s house in Lagos. Her father’s eldest sibling called recently and said the boy has been depressed for
some months now and that he said he had some confessions about he and my cousin. The aunt asked my cousin what the matter is before the boy made his confessions, but she didn’t say anything.

Unfortunately, the guy was the first to say something, and they said he has been wanting to commit suicide. But here’s the problem: the guy narrated it in a very different way; according to him,

~ My cousin forced him ( which is as good as the word “rape”)

~ He was a virgin the time and my cousin deflowered him (a huge lie, this guy had been carrying all sorts of girls before this period)

~ What she did to him has been affecting him mentally, and that’s why he’s failed academically so much that’s he’s dropped out twice

~ My cousin ruined his life


Continued below