₦airaland Forum

Waiting to read comments of those sexually abused.

I don't know what caused it but anytime I want to talk to the opposite sex, My heart starts to beat really fast. In short, I'm really shy in front of that gender but not that shy in front of my fellow men.
Might be shy at first but after like a day or two, I'm over it.

Aaaaarghmed:
I dont have trauma ,but because my mum and dad did not allow us go out and make friends when we were little.i turned to a confam introvert,who can stay for 1 year without missing anyone or talking to anyone and I wont bother.

You are not the only one. I can stay two years in isolation without bothering about anyone, no calls, no visit. Let me just have, food, internet, movies, music and games, and I'm good to go

Try and get over it. My sincere advise

How about the BARBARIC practice of beating children to pulp that Africans tend to see as normal? How is that now affecting you as an adult?

Do you people raise hand against your loved ones? 🤔

Interesting topic! Let me read and learn. Although, I have my own issues too!
Meanwhile, Watch the interesting story of the Smart Black man who scammed all of Dubai and the emirate and was never caught! Watch here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuBr6iGtnxY

Hmmm

Sonnobax15:

I was born and raised on the streets...When j say street,I mean a real ghetto street...But thanks to my mom of blessed memory who made sure we were never influenced by the negative vibes that comes forth with street credibility....Only my immediate elder bro couldn't escape it cuz that nigha is as rugged as shiit . But the few street credibility I learned after my mom's demise has really helped in shaping my life up....... Nothing dey as sweet as being street-wise..............The advantages are just too numerous when compared to a kid that was born and raised in house made of glass.

👍 Oil dey ya head.

Sonnobax15:

I was born and raised on the streets...When j say street,I mean a real ghetto street...But thanks to my mom of blessed memory who made sure we were never influenced by the negative vibes that comes forth with street credibility....Only my immediate elder bro couldn't escape it cuz that nigha is as rugged as shiit . But the few street credibility I learned after my mom's demise has really helped in shaping my life up....... Nothing dey as sweet as being street-wise..............The advantages are just too numerous when compared to a kid that was born and raised in house made of glass.

Do you understand the topic and the question it asked?

Hmmmm...

Abandon by a mother. This has really affected my ability to trust people.

I hardly share my issues with people, due to the fact that, if a mother can leave, trust no one.

Currently, finding it hard to remove this bad habit or trauma that is causing me pains and regrets. How I wish I could open up to people 💯!

Family is everything!

Currently 26, my Mum went to meet the Lord when I was 8.

So personally while growing up i never had a close relationship with the female gender owing to the fact I had no female Sis too.

I Never had that opportunity of being shown love by a female gender while growing and its really messing me up rn,

I often feel like I dont have the capacity to love a girl inside of me. I have a very tender heart and I fear heartbreak like mad.

Especially with the madness that happening today in the name of dating and friendship.

I'm madly single at my age and have never had a real r/ship with any babe mostly all this transactional friendship. (Rubbers for kitten).

A friend of mine always tells me that one day, LOVE will arrest me, that I'll see a girl that will completely take my brain box away.😂.

Inside me sha, I wish so o, BUT this generation of babes bo dey inspire confidence at all. IMO.
Especially my Eastern Babes.

superCleanworks:
Since when did Nigerians start caring about this?
Or are you just looking for an excuse to all the rubbish behaviours portrayed in modern Nigerian so called relationship? Orishi-rishi

you may think it does not matter but trust me it does,when I was growing up I was completely serially abused by our househelps(not one or two but multiple househelps)aunties and cousins,these are people I trusted but they turned around and taught me how to suck heavy matured smelly adult pvssy,breast,masturbate,finger pvssy and other things too graphic to mention from age 9yrs,if you have such orientation when growing up is there any possibility of you becoming a gentleman when it comes to pvssy affairs,no way,you have been taught that women cannot be trusted and pvssy is meant to be fvcked without sentiments or mercy.

FalseProphet1:
As a prophet, I foresaw my birth before I was born, so I have no trauma.

^^^


This country na war.

No one will admit to it.

They ferrociously want to still hold

Aaaaarghmed:
I dont have trauma ,but because my mum and dad did not allow us go out and make friends when we were little.i turned to a confam introvert,who can stay for 1 year without missing anyone or talking to anyone and I wont bother.

the fact that you don't see what's wrong is your own trauma. excessive introverted nature is your trauma. You can be going through hell and will not tell anyone. You can't rely on honest people, that is not a good way to live.

No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

For one thing,I never liked anything called naija ladies again.. too tarty for my liking

okoroemeka:
you may think it does not matter but trust me

i stopped reading at TRUST ME. Nah.. i don't trust you or anyone.
Saying trust me doesn't make your point valid either.
Thanks.

Wetyn concern African pikin with trauma.


That's the crap the Western society is selling to weak people.


Same people who can't define what a female is, is whom you're trusting on the effectiveness of theraphy

Abifarin16:
the fact that you don't see what's wrong is your own trauma. excessive introverted nature is your trauma. You can be going through hell and will not tell anyone. You can't rely on honest people, that is not a good way to live.

Dey play

Anxious attachment

I was molested so much as a child that I know get turned on by a dominitrix.

Infact I can head a lady for hours non stop just because of my childhood molestation

When the person you call mummy starts calling you "short man devil" from young age and you grow up to be the shortest among almost a dozen.
Dat one don comot for trauma o.

FalseProphet1:
As a prophet, I foresaw my birth before I was born, so I have no trauma. I knew everything that was going to happen, just like I know that one day one day, I'll overtake Elon musk and become the world richest man.

This I have seen.

False prophet in deed, you don't want to overtake Elijah and the likes but Elon Musk...dey play!

CodeTemplar:
When the person you call mummy starts calling you "short man devil" from young age and you grow up to be the shortest among almost a dozen.
Dat one don comot for trauma o.

Abeg post ya pinshure I want to sheck something.

omooba969:
Abeg post ya pinshure I want to sheck something.

your mumu na made in Germany. Diesel engine powered.

So I decided to go back to the series "Mind Hunters" this week. The series really reveal a lot as regards how childhood traumas could make monsters out of people. Please Let's be mindful of how we treat kids around us.

Be slow to speak because you can't take back what you say.

otherway:
I was molested so much as a child that I know get turned on by a dominitrix.

Infact I can head a lady for hours non stop just because of my childhood molestation

Oshey, headward 😂

CuriousStudent:
No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

Someone is dealing with stuff here!

CodeTemplar:
your mumu na made in Germany. Diesel engine powered.

Behave yasef

Dimaya:
Dear Fellow Nairalanders,

How has your childhood affected you growing up?
Recent psychological evidence points to the fact that past trauma particularly in childhood strongly affects how we form relationship bonds in adulthood.

In a recent conversation with young people across Africa, they revealed that daddy issues, childhood rape, childhood sodomy, absence of their fathers and abandonment by parents shaped their views of love, romance and family.

If you're struggling with such trauma, this conversation: How trauma can shape you is worth listening to.

Pay particular attention to the stories told by the young women, and hopefully you will find strength to heal.

It gets better. Don't give up


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifSuF7gL5ik

How has your childhood affected you growing up?

I had a very healthy childhood.