okoroemeka:
you may think it does not matter but trust me it does,when I was growing up I was completely serially abused by our househelps(not one or two but multiple househelps)aunties and cousins,these are people I trusted but they turned around and taught me how to suck heavy matured smelly adult pvssy,breast,masturbate,finger pvssy and other things too graphic to mention from age 9yrs,if you have such orientation when growing up is there any possibility of you becoming a gentleman when it comes to pvssy affairs,no way,you have been taught that women cannot be trusted and pvssy is meant to be fvcked without sentiments or mercy.

The only way to overcome your trauma is to have more smelly pussies in your life.

CandidAdmin:
I don't know what caused it but anytime I want to talk to the opposite sex, My heart starts to beat really fast. In short, I'm really shy in front of that gender but not that shy in front of my fellow men.
Might be shy at first but after like a day or two, I'm over it.

It's normal breh, you only need to work on your confidence...daz all.

The trauma of growing up and seeing pregnancy as a social taboo, no thanks to the neighborhood where my mom had talk with disgust about the prevalence of baby mamas and wedlock pregnancy... All these made me fear sex and h@ve a dividend though on seeing a celebrated pregnancies.

Almost the same case but difference is I choose not to be making by myself as a personal decision

UyaiIncomparabl:
I used to have "DADDY ISSUES", but it's no problem at all, and past it too.

Hmmm...

Dimaya:
Dear Fellow Nairalanders,

How has your childhood affected you growing up?
Recent psychological evidence points to the fact that past trauma particularly in childhood strongly affects how we form relationship bonds in adulthood.

In a recent conversation with young people across Africa, they revealed that daddy issues, childhood rape, childhood sodomy, absence of their fathers and abandonment by parents shaped their views of love, romance and family.

If you're struggling with such trauma, this conversation: How trauma can shape you is worth listening to.

Pay particular attention to the stories told by the young women, and hopefully you will find strength to heal.

It gets better. Don't give up


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifSuF7gL5ik

How has your childhood affected you growing up?

Hmmm...bro..many matters o...but I thank God for where I am now, still moving.

Well, my wife of 25 yrs, here in the USA yeap 25 years !!! always says I don't know how to be romantic. My answer has always been the same. I am a product of my environment my late Dad was married to four women at the same time. and not once did I ever see him being romantic. I am an Ijebu man being romantic is something I was never taught. I was taught how to be a man, take care of my family, my children, and be responsible. What could be more romantic than that !!!

We're thesame.

It helps in shaping our life, though sometimes I feel sad of being an introvert

Aaaaarghmed:
I dont have trauma ,but because my mum and dad did not allow us go out and make friends when we were little.i turned to a confam introvert,who can stay for 1 year without missing anyone or talking to anyone and I wont bother.

Aaaaarghmed:
I dont have trauma ,but because my mum and dad did not allow us go out and make friends when we were little.i turned to a confam introvert,who can stay for 1 year without missing anyone or talking to anyone and I wont bother.

NNAA WE ARE SAME OOOO !
U need to see the goosebumps as I'm reading this

Bluezy13:

Hmmm...

Hmmmm?

My dad a deeper life man that’ll beat me to pulp for watching tv or letting my younger brother watch tV in the neighbors house. He wouldn’t listen to me one bit, always reporting my stubbornness to youth leader. That till date makes me hate deeperlife

I wish I never had those traumas...
I can't keep relationship for too long..
I either zone out of it or put an end to it.

I can't express love.
I'm just cold and rigid to the word Love.

To me love is just a mirage.

ideamonster:
thanks OP. everybody in Nigeria is having trauma issues

In a very short period, Nigeria has turned from what we thought it would be into whatever shit is happening now. People are confused and demoralised.

"Am traumatized" Said Mmesoma the fraudulent JAMB girl. Lol

CandidAdmin:
I don't know what caused it but anytime I want to talk to the opposite sex, My heart starts to beat really fast. In short, I'm really shy in front of that gender but not that shy in front of my fellow men.
Might be shy at first but after like a day or two, I'm over it.

You don't have much money and you a good job. You're unable to promise the girl heaven and earth. And you feel she will look down on you when she finds this out. This is why you are shy.
You have to work on yourself. Live truthfully and stop trying to impress anybody. The girl that is normal headed will fall for you.

omooba969:


The only way to overcome your trauma is to have more smelly pussies in your life.

however sarcastic your comment sounds but honestly it is the truth

sunsweet33:
How about the BARBARIC practice of beating children to pulp that Africans tend to see as normal? How is that now affecting you as an adult?

Do you people raise hand against your loved ones? 🤔

Unfortunately I never experience this. Neither did any of my friends all through my childhood. So are we normal Africans?
I won't pretend that I don't know parents used to beat children. But that was never in my environment, here in all the places I lived in Nigeria.
I guess it's just a different lifestyle.
What I experienced, was being beaten by sadistic senior boys in boarding house in school. I never understood why they did this. But after so many years pondering, I guess they either copied each other, or some of them were children of police or soldiers who came from barracks and were regularly beaten at home by their frustrated military parents. So they carried the violence over to school.

My childhood trauma affected me negatively.
My parents never cared to know what I wanted And how they will help me. I talk to myself all the time. Thinking all the time. I have no confidence in my self. But God is my helper.

BigDawsNet:
No trauma of any sort.. while I was young I choose to delete that "Chop and clean mouth" mentality... right now... if I met a lady... if we don't have relationship.. I can't think of asking her or seducing her for sex... have met many ladies in the journey of my life... some want sex benefits only, but I had to discharge dem because we ain't on same page... that made me lost couple of girls....

E be like you and Elon Musk dey on thesame page

No trauma, but rather shy. I was a handsome boy and girls always flung themselves on me, even those that senior me. As a result I grew up to be a shy person. That has affected me seriously, I started isolating myself from people. As it is, I don't know if am an introvert or just shy.

Emmaomotob:
Life itself is trauma. I have learned to avoid women, even if it kills me. Life is much smoother and richer without them. I have chosen not to marry except there is something tangible I stand to gain from it. Love does not matter to me, as long as I find the person attractive. In the end loyalty and mutual interest keep a relationship longer than love (which should be appropriately referred to as 'bondage'). I have seen the damage marriage does to 'happily married men' and have learned to avoid it like an evil spirit, except I can profit from it. As Sean Stephenson noted, nations that trade with one another rarely go to war.

This is deep bro. Very deep

UyaiIncomparabl:


Hmmmm?

What can I say ?
You said you are:
(1) Unemotional, never fun seeking which I have observed in a little while that sometimes you try too, but undefined insecurities will not allow you to.
(2) Melancholic, always sad and rigid but I do not know if anything has changed over the years.

Also you sought to know:
(1) what "submission" in marriage means exactly.
(2) marriage advice one would give one's younger self.

In addition, you advised:
(1) Men to stop setting unnecessary standards that they will never meet.
(2) That simps make better husbands. I quote _"In my few years of being in the dating pool, I have realised that SIMPS are the best species of men to date and as well, get married to."_

You recently added that you are looking for a young, dark skinned wealthy Igbo man for marriage.
This came after you previously indicated that you would be deactivating your account soon.

The above put together made me wonder the real personality behind your name while maintaining my distance.

Now, I guess your comment in this post about having Daddy issues while growing up sums everything up.
Although I wish to add a view, yet in order to not start an inferno I may not be disposed to quench, I simply displayed "Hmmm..."

Hope we are good.

CuriousStudent:
No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

Well said

I had this mindset growing up but thanks be to God, I have overcome it

When growing up, my elders wanted me to be like how they wanted me to be, so now I'm grown up I want others to be as I want them to be and if they are not like how I want them to be, I will become angry and frustrated

Bluezy13:

Lol. You are so delusional.

CuriousStudent:
No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

brother I don't know you but you deserve one best alcohol drink

CuriousStudent:
No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

Your post is just perfect. Said so many things I can relate to.

otherway:
I was molested so much as a child that I know get turned on by a dominitrix.

Infact I can head a lady for hours non stop just because of my childhood molestation

So sorry about what you're going through. You should see a psychologist. You need to heal.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I used to have "DADDY ISSUES and ABANDONMENT TRAUMA", but it's no problem at all, and I am past it too.

And there I was daydreaming about you calling me "zaddy" and tugging on my beard like it's attached to a pinata

UyaiIncomparabl:
I used to have "DADDY ISSUES and ABANDONMENT TRAUMA", but it's no problem at all, and I am past it too.

The abandonment trauma thing scares me. Far as I can see, the only way to deal with it is to stop caring and feeling. But once you do that, you risk permanently turning into an unfeeling robot. And I am undecided if that's such a bad thing or not.

CuriousStudent:
No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

There are lots of mentally ill people in this country and the vast majority do not even know how sick they are and how it fdvks them up so much. Everything in this country is fked and it all began with our parents and possibly their grandparents too.

Lots of Nigerians have been physically, emotionally and sexually abused as kids and young adults by people in their family and that kind of thing can mess up so many things. The problem is that this kind of thing is recognized in the Western world and people are encouraged to visit therapists to resolve issues and heal. Here though, everyone insists they turned out fine regardless of how much they were abused as kids and then turn around to perform the same abuse they were victims of on their own kids. Damn!

Growing up, my dad was mostly okay. But he had severe anger issues. From him I learned it was okay to shout, throw things and be violent when angry. That a22hat punched me in the eye once because he saw me reading in front of a TV and had repeatedly told me that would damage my eyesight. Apparently, for him it was better to punch the 12-year old me in the eye and risk rupturing the eyeball than to let me read in front of a TV and risk my getting myopia

I have nothing to do with my old man these days and we don't speak. I have also learned self control and think of anger as a sign of weakness. It takes a lot to anger me these days.

But I still have anger issues and because of that I probably will not have kids. And that's the fundamental way I am different from my old man who probably got beaten to bits by his old man. Sure, I could easily marry and start having kids, but what if I start needlessly beating and abusing them like my old man did? That would be so fcked up.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Lol. You are so delusional.

Perhaps.

Kashamadupe


❤️