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The Book Of Bible Gaffes - Christianity Etc (31) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralChristianity EtcThe Book Of Bible Gaffes (27720 Views)

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Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 1:31am On Aug 23, 2023
johnw47:
if Yahweh made non christians and false jw's evil, then good,
He will eventually destroy them to, and not too soon
So does it make sense he created evil, made non christians and JWs commit the evil and still destroy them? undecided
Same way he hardened poor old Pharaoh's heart so he can murder all the first sons of Egypt.
Such a loving and just god. wink
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by johnw47:
jaephoenix:
So does it make sense he created evil, made non christians and JWs commit the evil and still destroy them? undecided
Same way he hardened poor old Pharaoh's heart so he can murder all the first sons of Egypt.
Such a loving and just god. wink
Job_15:12  Why doth thine heart carry thee away? and what do thy eyes wink at

you got @bold right,
except for the small g in God
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 5:36am On Aug 23, 2023
advocatejare:
No. I’m only tired of dignifying a dishonorable nincompoop with long write up, we shall continue when you have answered my questions
The answer is simple and even the atheist has helped you enough to see your folly, Russell can't be the founder of a group he never named! wink
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 5:45am On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Rutherford named your denomination just like Kumuyi named his.
By the way, change of name doesn't mean its a different organization. International Bible Students changed its name to Jehovah Witness. And both names were given by mere mortals. You'll have to do better, bro
Ọmọ you're the one dying over what hasn't got anything to do with you.
John the baptist baptized Jesus of Nazareth and afterwards Jesus began his own ministry with few members of John's group while the rest of John's group never followed Jesus.
That's exactly what happened to Russell and Rutherford, the group Russell led splited into various groups and Rutherford named the one he headed so in your right senses the founder should have been Rutherford going by your analogy because neither Kumuyi nor Oyedepo or Olukoya brought people from the space it's the same people from other religions that came together to form what they named and started being the founder.
So tell your friend the truth Russell can't be the founder it would have made more sense to say Rutherford founded the group since he named it just like others also named their own foundations
I will teach you how to use your brain! wink
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m):
jaephoenix:
Nobody was interested in addressing the topic. Even you weren't interested in addressing it. I just got disinterested in the thread. Instead you theists have derailed it so I had mo choice than to follow suit. But if u r still interested in discussing it, by all means do
That shows the level of your IQ! grin

If you start a foundation and you allowed those against whom you purposely got a rifle to channel your brain into aiming something else instead of being consistent at pulling the trigger at them then something is missing in your brain! wink
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 7:21am On Aug 23, 2023
johnw47:
Job_15:12  Why doth thine heart carry thee away? and what do thy eyes wink at

you got @bold right,
except for the small g in God
What is the relevance of the bolded to the convo?
By the way, what's the difference between g and G?
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 7:24am On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
Ọmọ you're the one dying over what hasn't got anything to do with you.
John the baptist baptized Jesus of Nazareth and afterwards Jesus began his own ministry with few members of John's group while the rest of John's group never followed Jesus.
That's exactly what happened to Russell and Rutherford, the group Russell led splited into various groups and Rutherford named the one he headed so in your right senses the founder should have been Rutherford going by your analogy because neither Kumuyi nor Oyedepo or Olukoya brought people from the space it's the same people from other religions that came together to form what they named and started being the founder.
So tell your friend the truth Russell can't be the founder it would have made more sense to say Rutherford founded the group since he named it just like others also named their own foundations
I will teach you how to use your brain! wink
Right.
Russell founded the group, Rutherford took a splinter group and renamed it. Seemed like stuff regular mortals do: bicker and baulk over inane stuff. So where does Jesus Christ come into all this?
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 7:27am On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
That shows the level of your IQ! grin

If you start a foundation and you allowed those against whom you purposely got a rifle to channel your brain into aiming something else instead of being consistent at pulling the trigger at them then something is missing in your brain! wink
Bro, rephrase…
Doesn't make sense
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 7:33am On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Right.
Russell founded the group, Rutherford took a splinter group and renamed it. Seemed like stuff regular mortals do: bicker and baulk over inane stuff. So where does Jesus Christ come into all this?
How easy it is for others to channel your brain to what they want instead of you focusing on the right path?

If changing names doesn't make the changer founder of his group then it simply means all the sects claiming "Christians" from Catholics to Anglican, Methodist, Apostolic, Presbyterian, Deeperlife, MFM, Christ Embassy, Synagogues and the rest all belongs to Jesus of Nazareth because they keep on changing names whereas the name used to draw followers is "Jesus Christ"

So it's either you agree that Rutherford is the founder of the group he named or Jesus is the founder of all religions claiming Christians.

Ọmọ you're not chatting with misinformed churchgoers o! wink
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 7:36am On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Bro, rephrase…
Doesn't make sense
How will it make sense as you've been robbed of your own thread?
You're demanding akpu and vegetable soup with assorted meat only for churchgoers to set garri and water on the table for you, and instead of being consistent with what you want you stupidly carry and start drinking the garri even savouring it like you don't know what you really want! cheesy
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 7:47am On Aug 23, 2023
Stupidity in atheists!

He started his thread with almost 14 chapters of what he wants to dispute with churchgoers only for him to start posting over 30 comments about Jehovah's Witnesses on the same thread, what about his own 14 epistles or chapters?
TRASHED! cheesy
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by advocatejare(m): 8:10am On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
The answer is simple and even the atheist has helped you enough to see your folly, Russell can't be the founder of a group he never named! wink
At this rate, you will deny your parents just to score cheap points.
So if you found a company and name it abc and your successor renames it def, does that make your successor the founder of the company?

T’omode e koba ba itan, a ba aroba: aroba baba itan.
Let me educate your dull head this morning

“The Adventist movement emerged in the 1830s around the predictions of William Miller, who proclaimed that Jesus Christ would return in 1843 or 1844. When Christ did not return as Miller prophecied, Adventists divided into a number of factions. During the 1870s, Charles Taze Russell established himself as an independent and controversial Adventist teacher.

In addition to the International Bible Students Association, Russell formed the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania (1884), with himself as president. In 1909 he transferred the headquarters of the movement to Brooklyn.

Russell was succeeded as president in 1917 by Joseph Franklin Rutherford(Judge Rutherford; 1869–1942), who changed the group’s name to Jehovah’s Witnesses in 1931 to emphasize its members’ belief that Jehovah

Under Rutherford’s leadership, Russell’s group became a tightly knit organization.


Now who is the founder of Jehovah Witnesses cult?
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by johnw47: 8:32am On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
What is the relevance of the bolded to the convo?
By the way, what's the difference between g and G?
i'm not interested in chatting with false jw's,
what makes you think i'm interested in small talk with atheist
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 9:40am On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
How easy it is for others to channel your brain to what they want instead of you focusing on the right path?

If changing names doesn't make the changer founder of his group then it simply means all the sects claiming "Christians" from Catholics to Anglican, Methodist, Apostolic, Presbyterian, Deeperlife, MFM, Christ Embassy, Synagogues and the rest all belongs to Jesus of Nazareth because they keep on changing names whereas the name used to draw followers is "Jesus Christ"

So it's either you agree that Rutherford is the founder of the group he named or Jesus is the founder of all religions claiming Christians.

Ọmọ you're not chatting with misinformed churchgoers o! wink
This part of your post doesn't make sense. But lets say Rutherford is the founder, how does it make your organization 'the right one'?
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 9:42am On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
How will it make sense as you've been robbed of your own thread?
You're demanding akpu and vegetable soup with assorted meat only for churchgoers to set garri and water on the table for you, and instead of being consistent with what you want you stupidly carry and start drinking the garri even savouring it like you don't know what you really want! cheesy
Ok. You're right.
Lets ignore your derailing and dodging antics and focus on the topic.
What is your take?
I kept the main gaffes aside thinking I'd have more challengers from christians, but look what I got….
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 9:43am On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
Stupidity in atheists!

He started his thread with almost 14 chapters of what he wants to dispute with churchgoers only for him to start posting over 30 comments about Jehovah's Witnesses on the same thread, what about his own 14 epistles or chapters?
TRASHED! cheesy
Lol. You're the one that derailed the thread with your regular 'we da best' quote. So I ignored you up til now
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 9:45am On Aug 23, 2023
johnw47:
i'm not interested in chatting with false jw's,
what makes you think i'm interested in small talk with atheist
Ok, bro. Then have a good day
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 10:53am On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Ok. You're right.
Lets ignore your derailing and dodging antics and focus on the topic.
What is your take?
I kept the main gaffes aside thinking I'd have more challengers from christians, but look what I got….
I told you i will teach you how to strike what is called MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION!

Now this is what God's organization taught me and i will like you to borrow a leaf from our way of engaging people in our neighbourhood.

First of all what you typed is too lengthy so it'll be really difficult for any interested person to engage you. All you need is pick just three to four Bible quotations that you feel will drive home your point followed by two to three sentences, in that way you'll be able to drive any derailing commentator back to the main points but since you're not focused on what you want to establish it will turn out to be aimless and purposeless.

jaephoenix:
This part of your post doesn't make sense. But lets say Rutherford is the founder, how does it make your organization 'the right one'?
I've told you several times but it's obvious you don't just want to know. Isaiah 2:2-4 repeated at Micah 4:1-3 specifically mentioned what God intended to achieve through the global campaign that the Messiah is coming to commission so out of all the religions claiming Christians only Jehovah's Witnesses met that goal.

jaephoenix:
Lol. You're the one that derailed the thread with your regular 'we da best' quote. So I ignored you up til now
You're not honest with your own findings otherwise you shouldn't have been taken away from your own personal research.
If you say: The book of Bible gaffes

Nothing concerns you with whatever any adherent of such a book say all you should be concerned is your own PERSONAL findings.

But since you're not trained like true disciples of Christ (Jehovah's Witnesses) you were taken away into another theme which has nothing to do with your thread. smiley
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 10:57am On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Ok, bro. Then have a good day
None of them is interested in Bible discourse because they're not trained to engage in such discussion unlike Jehovah's Witnesses who are fully competent and completely equiped to strike meaningful conversation with strangers.

So if you want to engage a real Bible student like me just pick few Bible quotations that you feel is really contradicting then type just two or three sentences to explain what you want to know. I will make myself available and i promise not to allow for any distraction from all these misinformed churchgoers. smiley
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by johnw47: 12:55pm On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
None of them is interested in Bible discourse because they're not trained to engage in such discussion unlike Jehovah's Witnesses who are fully competent and completely equiped to strike meaningful conversation with strangers.
So if you want to engage a real Bible student like me just pick few Bible quotations that you feel is really contradicting then type just two or three sentences to explain what you want to know. I will make myself available and i promise not to allow for any distraction from all these misinformed churchgoers. smiley
lost false jw mad max

you keep showing how you are just a puffed up braggart,
so very often repeating your foolishness, don't you dum dum,
and defeater of six fully armed military combatants single handed etc. etc. etc.
so funny

Pro_26:11  Like a dog that returns to its vomit Is a fool who repeats his folly

A delusion of grandeur is the false belief in one's own superiority, greatness, or intelligence. People experiencing delusions of grandeur do not just have high self-esteem; instead, they believe in their own greatness and importance even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 1:12pm On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
I told you i will teach you how to strike what is called MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION!

Now this is what God's organization taught me and i will like you to borrow a leaf from our way of engaging people in our neighbourhood.

First of all what you typed is too lengthy so it'll be really difficult for any interested person to engage you. All you need is pick just three to four Bible quotations that you feel will drive home your point followed by two to three sentences, in that way you'll be able to drive any derailing commentator back to the main points but since you're not focused on what you want to establish it will turn out to be aimless and purposeless.


I've told you several times but it's obvious you don't just want to know. Isaiah 2:2-4 repeated at Micah 4:1-3 specifically mentioned what God intended to achieve through the global campaign that the Messiah is coming to commission so out of all the religions claiming Christians only Jehovah's Witnesses met that goal.



You're not honest with your own findings otherwise you shouldn't have been taken away from your own personal research.
If you say: The book of Bible gaffes

Nothing concerns you with whatever any adherent of such a book say all you should be concerned is your own PERSONAL findings.

But since you're not trained like true disciples of Christ (Jehovah's Witnesses) you were taken away into another theme which has nothing to do with your thread. smiley
Are you aware that there are other peaceful sects/denominations?
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 1:13pm On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
None of them is interested in Bible discourse because they're not trained to engage in such discussion unlike Jehovah's Witnesses who are fully competent and completely equiped to strike meaningful conversation with strangers.

So if you want to engage a real Bible student like me just pick few Bible quotations that you feel is really contradicting then type just two or three sentences to explain what you want to know. I will make myself available and i promise not to allow for any distraction from all these misinformed churchgoers. smiley
Til now, you haven't said anything about the topic but you're quick to bash other theists about their silence. Are you nuts?
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 1:38pm On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Are you aware that there are other peaceful sects/denominations?
There are lots of soft drinks like Coca cola but they're not globally recognized like Coke {Isaiah 2:2} that's the undeniable difference! undecided
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 1:43pm On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Til now, you haven't said anything about the topic but you're quick to bash other theists about their silence. Are you nuts?
Obviously you don't read comments you're just hurriedly responding.

I said your topic is simple but 13 chapters of epistles has complicated it all!

So pick few quotes and go straight to what you want me to address not complicating the whole thing, that's why you became helpless when commentators where derailing your thread, if you have just two or three points it will be easy for you to drive them back to the main points you want them to comment on! smiley
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 1:57pm On Aug 23, 2023
In fact JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES have the best teachers ever on this planet!

How can you type almost 14 epistles naming them as CHAPTERS and expecting sane individuals to come arguing aimlessly with you? undecided

Each member of Jehovah's Witnesses have thousands of things to tell you but we won't bombard you with too much topics rather we will INTELLIGENTLY pick a topic of discussion and with choice of words strike a conversation with you.

For your information that's why most of your pastors who have noticed our competence do tell you not to listen at all when we visit you in your homes because if you do you will certainly fall in love with our choice of words, manner of approach and presentation! smiley
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 1:58pm On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
There are lots of soft drinks like Coca cola but they're not globally recognized like Coke {Isaiah 2:2} that's the undeniable difference! undecided
Again Max, what makes your denomination different from others that claim they are the true blah blah blah? Can you be more succinct? All this coca cola BS wont wash
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 2:01pm On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
Again Max, what makes your denomination different from others that claim they are the true blah blah blah? Can you be more succinct? All this coca cola BS wont wash
Let me help you!

For now leave the true religion stuff and go straight to the topic of your thread but this time around pick just two or three quotations and make a short presentation in few sentences to explain exactly what you want me to address as your main points.

I'm Maximus one of Jehovah's Witnesses not a misinformed unintelligent churchgoer! wink
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 2:02pm On Aug 23, 2023
MaxInDHouse:
Obviously you don't read comments you're just hurriedly responding.

I said your topic is simple but 13 chapters of epistles has complicated it all!

So pick few quotes and go straight to what you want me to address not complicating the whole thing, that's why you became helpless when commentators where derailing your thread, if you have just two or three points it will be easy for you to drive them back to the main points you want them to comment on! smiley
Okay. My bad. There were just too many gaffes I tried to fit in all of them. Even at that, I left out the pretty crazy gaffes. I should have picked up only a few.
I apologize. No jokes.
Lemme bring out one of the top gaffes…
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 2:03pm On Aug 23, 2023
Numbers 22(part 1)

1 Then the Israelites traveled to the plains of Moab and camped along the Jordan across from Jericho.

2 Now Balak son of Zippor saw all that Israel had done to the Amorites, 3 and Moab was terrified because there were so many people. Indeed, Moab was filled with dread because of the Israelites.

4 The Moabites said to the elders of Midian, “This horde is going to lick up everything around us, as an ox licks up the grass of the field.”

So Balak son of Zippor, who was king of Moab at that time, 5 sent messengers to summon balaam son of Beor, who was at Pethor, near the Euphrates River, in his native land. Balak said:

“A people has come out of Egypt; they cover the face of the land and have settled next to me. 6 Now come and put a curse on these people, because they are too powerful for me. Perhaps then I will be able to defeat them and drive them out of the land. For I know that whoever you bless is blessed, and whoever you curse is cursed.”

7 The elders of Moab and Midian left, taking with them the fee for divination. When they came to balaam, they told him what Balak had said.

8 “Spend the night here,” balaam said to them, “and I will report back to you with the answer the Lord gives me.” So the Moabite officials stayed with him.

9 God came to balaam and asked, “Who are these men with you?”

10 balaam said to God, “Balak son of Zippor, king of Moab, sent me this message: 11 ‘A people that has come out of Egypt covers the face of the land. Now come and put a curse on them for me. Perhaps then I will be able to fight them and drive them away.’”

12 But God said to balaam, “Do not go with them. You must not put a curse on those people, because they are blessed.”

13 The next morning balaam got up and said to Balak’s officials, “Go back to your own country, for the Lord has refused to let me go with you.”

14 So the Moabite officials returned to Balak and said, “balaam refused to come with us.”

15 Then Balak sent other officials, more numerous and more distinguished than the first. 16 They came to balaam and said:

“This is what Balak son of Zippor says: Do not let anything keep you from coming to me, 17 because I will reward you handsomely and do whatever you say. Come and put a curse on these people for me.”

18 But balaam answered them, “Even if Balak gave me all the silver and gold in his palace, I could not do anything great or small to go beyond the command of the Lord my God. 19 Now spend the night here so that I can find out what else the Lord will tell me.”

20 That night God came to balaam and said, “Since these men have come to summon you, go with them, but do only what I tell you.”

balaam’s Donkey
21 balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him.
balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. balaam beat it to get it back on the road.
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 2:03pm On Aug 23, 2023
Numbers 22(part 2)
24 Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path through the vineyards, with walls on both sides.
25 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it pressed close to the wall, crushing balaam’s foot against it. So he beat the donkey again.

26 Then the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it lay down under balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff. 28 Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?”

29 balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.”

30 The donkey said to balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”

“No,” he said.

31 Then the Lord opened balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

32 The angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me.[a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared it.”

34 balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.”

35 The angel of the Lord said to balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you.” So balaam went with Balak’s officials.

36 When Balak heard that balaam was coming, he went out to meet him at the Moabite town on the Arnon border, at the edge of his territory. 37 Balak said to balaam, “Did I not send you an urgent summons? Why didn’t you come to me? Am I really not able to reward you?”

38 “Well, I have come to you now,” balaam replied. “But I can’t say whatever I please. I must speak only what God puts in my mouth.”

39 Then balaam went with Balak to Kiriath Huzoth. 40 Balak sacrificed cattle and sheep, and gave some to balaam and the officials who were with him. 41 The next morning Balak took balaam up to Bamoth Baal, and from there he could see the outskirts of the Israelite camp.

Now, reading the above passage as a fresher should have one scratching his head.
1. An omniscient god was asking a mortal he created who the other mortals are. As an omniscient god, he would have told balaam that some officials would visit him in some days, and told him what he would tell them as reply.
2. Not only that, he originally told balaam not to go with them, but changed his mind and told him to go with them when they sent more goodies
3. Now when balaam obeyed him and went with them, he sent an angel to kill him, even though poor balaam was adhering to his instructions
4. After threatening balaam that he would have killed him if not for the donkey, he still went ahead to tell him to continue on the journey
5. I don't want to talk about the talking donkey ( that's some hardcore Shrek moves ) that's for another day.
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by jaephoenix(op): 2:04pm On Aug 23, 2023
I know JWs dont believe that Yahweh is omniscient, so strike off the first question. Leave it for the other theists. Thank you
Re: The Book Of Bible Gaffes by MaxInDHouse(m): 2:11pm On Aug 23, 2023
jaephoenix:
I know JWs dont believe that Yahweh is omniscient, so strike off the first question. Leave it for the other theists. Thank you
Please try to be more relaxed and instead of quoting the long story just pick the point you want me to address.
As a member of Jehovah's Witnesses we know all the stories in our book (Bible) it's written by forty different men, it contains 66 books 39 in the Old Testament and 27 in the New Testament, all containing 1189 Chapters and 31,200 verses.

So don't quote the words just cite it and tell me the point you want us to address.

Thanks! smiley
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