Why do you want to turn a 12 years old child into a nanny just because she's poor or her parents can't take care her

At 12 years, someone should be raising her too

Guy f*xk you and your wickedness help

Till she kill your son?

Is your neice your slave?

Black man with black brain.

meum:
I’m not supporting the girl’s actions. She is wrong to have been that heartless. You never can tell if that is what your wife does to her. Even with that she shouldn’t start being heartless at such an early age.

I guess until the damage is done(God forbid) before you see that sentiments have no place in such an issue. I won’t tell you to send her away neither will I say you should keep her. Go through what I wrote slowly again, the answer you are looking for is right there.

There is no answer in what you wrote and the 12 years old girl is not heartless. She's also a baby that needs parental care and training herself. She can only support, not assume the role of a mother.

@OP, please, return the girl to her parents. The moment your wife begins to complain, just know the girl is now in danger of being maltreated.

If she remains with you, see her as your daughter and correct her with love while remembering how foolish we all were at 12 years.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Based on your narration, couple of things are involved.

1. Your niece is a child who still needs the love of parents. You are trying to turn her into an adult but psychologically, she’s not fully developed to deal with some responsibilities. You’ve turned her into a nanny to mop and do everything. You are stealing her childhood. Let kids be kids.

2. You promised her parents that you brought her to your house in order to take her to school? Is she currently going to school? If she is, when does she study because you want her to be mothering your children. It didn’t sound like she goes to school because you spoke of how you & your wife were out of the house.Do you pay her for the services rendered or by giving her food & accommodation is what you consider as payment?

3. We as Africans, we are taught to automatically cane children when they misbehave. In most African homes, children are there to be seen but should not be heard talking about anything. Your niece is doing what we call in psychology, projecting. It is actually a defense mechanism, where someone instead of dealing with their emotions, they take it out on other people. She has some psychological hurt that she’s trying to numb by giving a carefree attitude.

4. If you mean well for your niece, take her back to her parents. She’s still in developmental stages where she needs her parents. If indeed your promise to train her was genuine, you can get a good boarding school and send her there since it sounds like the family is not well off.

5. Going forward, hire an adult who is mentally & physically mature & can handle children. Let’s stop child labor in the name of helping relatives. It’s taking advantage of their financial state.Take that child back to her parents.

Omoawoke:
This is why I’m working hard day and night, improving myself daily to build a world for my children. A world where they will never be disrespected, a world where they have most of what it takes to live a good life and never lack.
I can bet your niece came from a humble background and the parents are not doing too well and that’s why your wife could treat her badly.

In summary, try get money for this life

Where in the op did you see the wife treating the girl badly?

Na beg I dey take beg you… please return that young girl back to her parents. You can assist them by sending upkeep to her parents for her.

FYI, when she said she wanted to come stay with you it wasn’t because she wanted you and your wife to turn her to your maid, it was because she wanted you to “spoil her silly” as per big uncle.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Send her away…

She is too small to do such a job…


Make una try be men for house..


Stop dumping…

She’s 12. Not old enough for you guys to leave your parenting duties to

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Beey:
Based on your narration, couple of things are involved.

1. Your niece is a child who still needs the love of parents. You are trying to turn her into an adult but psychologically, she’s not fully developed to deal with some responsibilities. You’ve turned her into a nanny to mop and do everything. You are stealing her childhood. Let kids be kids.

2. You promised her parents that you brought her to your house in order to take her to school? Is she currently going to school? If she is, when does she study because you want her to be mothering your children. It didn’t sound like she goes to school because you spoke of how you & your wife were out of the house.Do you pay her for the services rendered or by giving her food & accommodation is what you consider as payment?

3. We as Africans, we are taught to automatically cane children when they misbehave. In most African homes, children are there to be seen but should not be heard talking about anything. Your niece is doing what we call in psychology, projecting. It is actually a defense mechanism, where someone instead of dealing with their emotions, they take it out on other people. She has some psychological hurt that she’s trying to numb by giving a carefree attitude.

4. If you mean well for your niece, take her back to her parents. She’s still in developmental stages where she needs her parents. If indeed your promise to train her was genuine, you can get a good boarding school and send her there since it sounds like the family is not well off.

5. Going forward, hire an adult who is mentally & physically mature & can handle children. Let’s stop child labor in the name of helping relatives. It’s taking advantage of their financial state.Take that child back to her parents.

What an excellent submission! Africans went through the whammy brunt of slavery and subjugation should not be using the same treatments on one another. African governments should outlaw Housemaids and House-helpers for anything less than 18. Most house helpers in Lagos in those days for girls started having sex at 11, maybe through grown adults in the house or through neighbors. Underage girls are very vulnerable.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

12 years old is not old enough to help you look after your kids, she still needs to be looked after

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Baba let her go back to her people, whatever assistance you wanna provide for her can be done from long distance like that

Luckysbab:


What are you even saying!

What wife is treating who badly? What post are you commenting on?

That child is 12! Op is using the child for domestic work

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

..Your niece is a wicked person... Inasmuch as she might be dissatisfied that you brought her to your house without enrolling her in any school...She is a wicked person and might end up harming your family.

You know the issues with men most times is that they are always slow in taking decision most especially when it involves such matters.

Kindly scout for another nanny...

12 yr old is too young to leave alone with kids especially a kid that's unwell.
She should not be changing diaper without supervision, let alone dispose it by herself.
You have to make it clear that she's in no position to inflict any form of punishment on the kids- physical or emotional. She should instead report the kids to u.

All in all a 12 yr old is a kid, they not too matured to take on a care giver responsibility. They should even be supported to take good care of themselves.

Send back

Laple0541:
A twelve year old girl is sill a baby so don’t expect her to take care of your children. If you guys can’t afford to employ a trained adult that can take care of your children, then both of you should decide on when each of you should work and when to be the the children.

For the girl, take her to her parents before she gives you children kerosene thinking it is water. But before you do, get some canes to reset her brain. She lacks home training coupled with some traits of wickedness in her.

You’re telling him to beat a 12 year old CHILD because she does not want to be a house slave. Then, you have nerve to say that the child is wicked.

The girl is rebelling because you are using her as a maid. Why not get a maid that is over 18 years

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Turning your niece into a slave. God dey o!

I need your help with any amount you can help me with for jamb regularization Tesleem Quadri Opeyemi
3138034392
First bank

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Go back to your yeast and carry your dirty niece with you.

I doubt you are treating that child (niece) as your child, so she is not seeing herself as one but a maid, hence, not seeing your child as her siblings.
You took her in to train her but you are not there to train her, rather, she is the one training your kids. A child training children

Why can't your wife raise her own kids? What is it with Nigerians and child slavery. Very few people in the US have any additional help outside of daycare/creche. No one is using children to help raise their children. Send her back to the village and make your wife (and yourself) take care of your children. The whole country is lazy.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents
I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Just take her back to her parents let peace reign in your house

Next time she talks about house help, let her handle it herself

Meanwhile both of you don't need a house help, you guys can sort it out

Children of now awadays are something else

What rubbish. These are more than enough reasons to send her back. Send her back to her parents with the quickness before she endangers your children. From her i-don't-give-a-damn attitude, she doesn't want to be there anyway. Send her back!

grandstar:
Get rid of your niece now!

Forget whatever someone says: one day, people will discover what kind of monster she really is if what you wrote was true.

I fear for your kids. Do not under any circumstance allow any thing to happen to them.

are you normal?
How's she a monster?
The useless and wicked op and his wife that turned a little girl of 12 to house help are the monsters here.

The op promised the little girls parents to train the girl but he ended up making her a nanny.
How can you turn a child that needs training herself to a nanny?

Were you already washing your cloths by yourself when you were 12? How do you expect a 12 year old to care for kids if not wickedness?

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

You and your wife should be jail for child labor after lying you want to train the child, why are human always like this? You still have the courage to type all this rubbish on here.

I wish someone can track you and report you to the right authority

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

useless man, you just turn a little 12 year old to nanny?

Omo, your niece is pure evil. Female children that loves to pamper anything. My sisters as young as 12 were taking care of our neighbours kids, cleaning catarrh, poops etc. Please send her back to her parents. I understand you and your wife wanted to exploit her but you should consider between it and the safety of your kids Which is more paramount.

Yesterday, a small girl that lives opposite my shop was shouting at the little baby she was backing that she'll lock her up in the room cause she was crying so loudly 😂 the girl saw me laughing and she laughed. I don't know whether the couple she's living with is her parents.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Ok now I understand
You brought a KID to take care of your KID?
and now you want to know if the reasons above is good enough to send the kid back for not taking good care of your KID ? Right?

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Reading through the various comments on this thread got me laughing out loud, it was as if I was on an American forum, as I read how Nigerians that I know all formed Mr anti child labour abi activist scolding the op for turning his niece to a slave even when I didn't read about any slavish task being given to the 12 year old , Naija people una well done oh




To the op, I have a little girl of similar age living with us, and I will give you advice based on my own experience living with people of such age.


First, my case is a little different from yours in the sense that I have 2 biological kids, 3yrs plus and 1yr plus, and I have 3 different Nannies for them; one is a young lady that comes to work 9am and closes 6pm. The other Nannies work weekends.


The 12yr old girl (your niece) is still a kid that also need training, so tell your wife to adjust her mindset towards the girl and see her as a kid that also need training and corrections. All kids act irrational once in a while. I remember when I was about that age in my parents house, I rebelled a lot, whenever its my turn to wash the plates, I will intentionally not wash them until my Papa flogs me, and then I will be forced to wash it late and guess what? I will intentionally break one plate or cup so that they will stop sending me to wash plates, and my Mom will defend me by saying that my elder siblings know I am not yet a human being and they are sending me errands, that one day I will burn the whole house on their head then they would get sense, and I will be so happy deep inside me when she is telling them this


My mother never flogged me for once, only my dad does that and I hated him so much back then eh lolz being an ignorant kid I was then.


So I use to use this scenario to explain to my wife that kids are kids and will always act irrationally once in a while. I also let my wife know the girl must be treated as our own biological daughter no matter what. I spoil her a lot with gifts and everything I buy for my biological kids, I buy for her too, and they see her as their elder sis. If I come across a toy for my boy and buys it, I must buy something for 12yr old girl to play with for her too, and she and my boy will be asking Daddy where is Nini's own, that's my 1yr old daughter. I will tell the 12yr old and my boy that Nini is a baby, that she doesn't know anything and doesn't need a toy, and both my boy and the 12yr old girl will be angry and unhappy I didn't buy for Nini my 1yr old daughter lol


This treatment makes the girl feel special like she is my own biological daughter too. She attends same school with my boy, they go to school with same type of lunch boxes; hers is bigger though and same meal, snacks, drinks, chocolates.


Sometimes she takes my second phone which is my unofficial phone to snap pictures and watch youtube videos even though she and my son have their own tablets though their internet is regulated. She also has a small mobile phone without internet.

She feels like our biological daughter. Initially my wife sometimes send her to do domestic tasks that I consider above her age, I gradually made her understand that she is too young for such errands. I warned her never to turn on the gas that she is a kid and that anytime she turns on the gas the fire will burn her and she picked that and I made my wife realize she must not send her to use the gas cooker to do anything.


The only thing she does in the house is to eat, clean her room, ensure her wardrobe is well arranged all the time but still sometimes when u enter her room she litter her shoes everywhere despite having a full wardrobe to herself. Whenever I pay her visit in her room and notice that, I will help her arrange them myself and caution her that next time I come into her room and see her shoes or empty ribena or such drink packs littered in her room, that I will collect her tablet and stop her from watching cartoons for 1 month.


She loves watching cartoons more than anything, and anything that will stop her from watching cartoons she is ready to stop that thing lol.


Recently, I told my wife to tell the cleaner to teach her how to mop the floor, so she has started mopping floor now. She also do dishes but under supervision to ensure she washed them properly and she is improving. She has also learned how to change my 1yr old daughter's diapers, even if she was my biological daughter she must learn to care for her little siblings too.


Op, but your son is too quiet, if my son happened to be your son, he would have fought her lol. My son cannot take some things even at 3yrs plus lol, even my daughter will bite you if you dare disturb her


Anytime she is holding something and her brother tries to collect it forcefully, she will scream and if he insist on collecting it forcefully from her, she will bite him. And if the person is bigger than my son, she will rush the person and beat the person with her tiny hands while crying. My son can fight a 12yr old, I was told he beats some of his classmates lol, though I have cautioned him about that. My 12yr old adopted daughter also tells me that he use to fight her especially when she tries to change cartoon channel they are watching without first convincing him lol.


Why I am taking my time narrating all these is to help you op to understand that your 12yr old niece need training too. Take her as your own daughter. Its not always easy for women most especially to treat other people's kids as their biological children, but with love, consistent admonishments and corrections, your wife will learn and come to realize that its your principle that she must accept.


Like I said, it wasn't easy for my wife initially, but with my consistent counseling and narrating of my own childhood rebellion, she has improved drastically. Once your niece notices that you and your wife are treating her just like your own kids, she will start treating your kids like her siblings, but if your wife do treat her like she is a stranger or visitor, she will return such treatments to your kids when you guys are not around. She just need training with love and care like she is your own daughter, with time she will catch up, but if she refuses to improve with time, you can then send her back to her parents but please continue to take care of her education and upkeep even if you send her back to her parents. Its not entirely her fault, she is a kid. We all were once like them and must have rebelled against our guardians too and they didn't throw us away lolz


My own childhood rebellion was so much that sometimes I will secretly go and throw away our bathing soaps as a way of revenge for sending me on an errand I didn't like lol. I started behaving well from 15yrs and became one of the best childs. Though outside the house other parents used me as example to their kids, but inside our house, I was the house terrorist when it comes to not wanting to go on errands or help in domestic stuffs



Op, please don't send her on errands outside your compound, caution your wife from doing that cos Nigerian women love that nonsense so much, I observed this in Lagos when I started going for holidays at my siblings houses, its irritating. Why can't Nigerian women buy all they need once in a week and stop sending small girls and boys living with them on repeated errands to different shops in a day? Please she is not old enough to do laundry, except her own personal laundry that she should be taught to do herself.


Have this mindset that she is your daughter. So whatever you can send your daughter to do, let it be what you should send her to do. Whatever you know sincerely in your heart that you would do for your 12yr old daughter, do same for her. And most importantly, your wife must have this mindset if not, it won't work cos the issue usually come from women. Seems its a curse on majority of married Nigerian women not to treat kids who aren't their biological kids well.


At her age, her duty in the house should be restricted to doing dishes after being monitored and taught for some time, changing your baby diapers is okay, helping to feed your baby if need be, and sweeping her space. She is not old enough to cook, if she must assist in mopping, it must be her room or a smaller space so she won't feel like she is being overworked (once kids start feeling this way, they will start to rebel like me lol). She can dust the chairs, don't send her to dust your electronics to avoid stories that touch , she should be able to make her bed whenever she gets up from the bed (inculcate this habit in her). Then playing with your kids too to keep both of them busy and bonded.


She must be allowed to watch cartoons because I know many Nigerian married women hate seeing people that are not their children watching TV in their house lol. Restrict her from watching Nollywood, Hollywood, Bollywood or Korean or Philippines movies. At her age, she should watch only cartoons and educational channels only. May God give you the strength and wisdom to handle the situation positively

This doesn’t sound like training to me. U guys brought an untrained child and turned her into a beast of burden

Please get a nanny to do the job and either send the child back to her parents or train her like u promised